Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses > Dying in the Waltz
Without You
0 reviewsAxl and Stella cope with their time away from one another, Stella makes a major announcement, Beta is a mom who just wants her son happy.
1Moving
Author Notes: Prepare your tissues, I cried a bit while writing this. I had read somewhere that Axl wanted to have children and a family of his own so this happened. Sorry if it's a little OOC, its 4:30am and instead of sleeping I'm writing!
Chapter 9: Without You
She had refused to talk to her brother about the large bruise on her face when she’d arrived at his home in Germany. She didn’t want to even think about the awful fight she and Axl had had that had ended it all. She wanted to be with her family and move on from the heartbreak she’d endured. The first month or so away from Axl was full of sleepless nights and tears. The pain of being away from Axl was almost unbearable, she missed him more than she ever thought possible. She’d spent so long with him, had seen every side of him, given herself to him completely. So, she did what she often did when things got too much to handle. She threw herself into her writing and learning how to turn her poetry into music. She found the music was therapeutic and a good way to release her emotions.
Axl had been a wreck since he’d lost Stella. He’d started drink heavily again, going on to stage late, chain smoking to calm his nerves, and writing music only to throw it all away. He refused to get help, refused to even talk to Beta about what had happened, and refused to even speak her name. He eventually refused to go on stage during the tour resulting in several dates being cancelled. Beta had started to worry for Axl’s health as he was up at all hours playing his piano or drinking. He’d demanded to be left alone and had slipped back into being a recluse just as he had after Stephanie had left him. Much to Beta’s dismay, Axl had shut himself away in his mansion overlooking the sea and refused to come out. She had to do something. She had to find Stella and make this all work out, no matter what had happened she couldn’t stand to see the man she considered her son to be in such a state.
Beta had gotten in touch with Thomas again and had gotten his address. He had informed Beta of Stella’s declining health as she refused to sleep and was constantly sick, he was more worried about the safety of his sister than anything.
“Stella?” Beta had said once she’d arrived at Thomas’s home in Germany, knocking gently on the girl’s door.
“Beta?” Stella had almost run to the door to hug the woman. She couldn’t stop the tears that had formed in her eyes and moved down her cheeks as she clung to the woman who had done so much for her.
“Look at you.” She shook her head as she pulled back to look at the girl, she’d grown pale and had dark circles under her eyes. She was a shell of what she once was.
“Why are you here? He’s not, here is he?” She took another step back from Beta before letting out a sigh of relief when the older woman shook her head.
“I came alone. I need to know what happened. Axl is devastated. He won’t eat, won’t sleep, he drinks heavily, I hear him crying. I’ve never seen him like this.” Beta explain as they moved to sit together on the edge of Stella’s bed.
“He did it to himself.” Stella said flatly as she hugged her knees to her chest. “He hit me.”
“And instead of talking to one another, you ran away to Germany and he locked himself in his home.” Beta shook her head and rested her hand on Stella’s shoulder. “Sweetie…What has happened to you? You’re different.”
“Teen pregnancy and crippling depression will do that to a girl.” Stella was wiping at more tears now. She hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet. She was nearly twelve weeks along and had managed to the baby bump forming from her brother. “I found out a couple of weeks ago.”
“You have to tell Axl.” Beta stated firmly. “He at least deserves to know.”
“You can tell him. But don’t you dare tell him where I am.” She said softly as her hand
went to rest over her stomach, her legs dropping to the floor. “I don’t want to see him.”
“He deserves to hear the news from the mother of his child. You two have to talk face to face, be adults about this.” Beta tried to reason.
“No. I’m not…I can’t stand to even think of him, Beta. Seeing him will only break my heart. I miss him more than anything, but he has to know what he did was wrong, and I won’t be treated like that.” Stella sniffled softly and exhaled shakily.
“Axl has never been this destroyed before, I think he’s learned his lesson.” Beta said as she stood and walked towards the door to leave.
“Wait…” Stella called right as the older woman reached the door. “Can you tell him that I still love him? That I just need some time to heal and figure things out?”
Beta stared at the girl, saw the tears in her eyes and could almost feel the heartbreak just from the look on her face. Finally, she nodded and gave a gentle smile to the girl. “I can do that.”
Beta’s stay only lasted a couple of days before she headed back to make sure Axl was still doing okay. When she walked into the trashed mansion, her heart ached for the man all over again. Axl had been shocked at the news of Beta visiting Stella and had demanded to know where she was, only to be refused an answer. In Germany, Stella had begun to take better care of herself, knowing she had to stay healthy for the baby. Despite her fears and uncertainty, she decided she wanted to keep the baby. She didn’t think she could stand giving it up.
Once the doctor had given her the okay to travel despite her being nearly four months pregnant, Stella said goodbye to her brother and headed back to LA to talk things out with Axl. She couldn’t raise the baby on her own and couldn’t stand being away from the man any longer.
That was how she came to be standing in front of Axl’s home, debating on whether she should ring the doorbell. Eventually gaining the courage, Stella rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves when Beta answered the door to allow her into the home.
“Where is he?” Stella asked softly as she glanced around the trashed mansion, taking note of the shattered mirrors probably from a very emotionally unstable Axl.
“Where he always is, the piano in his room.” Beta said and smiled gently. “Go to him.”
Stella didn’t have to be told twice and was heading up the stairs as quickly as her feet would carry her, she had to see the man. Had to know that he was okay, that he was healthy. She burst into his room only to find an empty room. She exited his room and started for the stairs when a voice made her stop in her tracks.
“Stella?” The voice was shaky and quiet, but undeniably belonging to Axl. “I’m sorry…I-I didn’t mean to hit you, please stay? Don’t go.” He was almost panicked when she went to take a step down the stairs to get away from him. She didn’t want to run, but she didn’t want to hurt again. But the panic and the sorrow in Axl’s voice combined with the soft plea stopped her and forced her to turn and look at him.
“It’s okay.” She said softly as she advanced towards him, her arms going around him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
As soon as their torsos touched, Axl took a step back and looked down to the baby bump that had grown considerably. “You…You’re pregnant?”
“Four months along. I found out two months ago, that’s part of why I’m here. You deserved to know.” Stella shifted under the weight of his wide-eyed gaze.
“D-Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” He placed his hand over her stomach, eyes full of tears now.
“A boy.” Stella managed a small laugh through her tears, hand over Axl’s now. “I almost lost him early on, I wasn’t taking care of myself…But I heard you haven’t been taking care of yourself either.” Her free hand moved to his cheek, her heart skipping a beat as he tilted his head into the touch.
Axl couldn’t stop himself now, he pulled her to him and just held her. He held her like she was the only thing keeping him weighted to the ground, like it was the last time he might hug her. Stella buried her face in his chest and breathed in his scent, it was the same it had always been.
“I love you. I love you so much. I’m never going to hurt you again.” Axl said as his grip tightened on her, his lips pressing to her head. “I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for what I said to you and hitting you. I didn’t mean it and you must believe me. I hated myself the second I realized what I had done.” He looked into her eyes now, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I love you, Stella.”
“I love you too. It’s okay now, we can move on from this.” Stella assured him as she rested her hands on his chest. “We have each other, we have a baby on the way, and that’s all that matters.”
They moved into the bedroom and laid on the bed so Stella could rest after her long flight and ride back home. It was clear she was exhausted and Axl wanted nothing more than to just be close to her.
“Do you want to see a picture of him?” Stella asked as she pulled out her phone and looked at him. She smiled when she received a nod and pulled up the 3D sonogram she’d saved to her phone. “He’s got your nose.”
“And your mouth.” Axl smiled as he stared at the picture. “He’s beautiful. I’ve always wanted a family, Stella.”
“Well you’re about to have one.” She smiled and leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Let’s get some sleep, Beta tells me you haven’t been sleeping.” She pulled him to lay closer to her and set her phone aside.
“I couldn’t sleep. I threw myself into writing music, but on the bright side I think I finally finished the song.” Axl smiled tiredly as he ran his thumb across her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Axl.”
And so, all was well. The pair were back together again and were able to begin picking up the pieces and rebuilding their life. Things were just beginning to fall in place.
Chapter 9: Without You
She had refused to talk to her brother about the large bruise on her face when she’d arrived at his home in Germany. She didn’t want to even think about the awful fight she and Axl had had that had ended it all. She wanted to be with her family and move on from the heartbreak she’d endured. The first month or so away from Axl was full of sleepless nights and tears. The pain of being away from Axl was almost unbearable, she missed him more than she ever thought possible. She’d spent so long with him, had seen every side of him, given herself to him completely. So, she did what she often did when things got too much to handle. She threw herself into her writing and learning how to turn her poetry into music. She found the music was therapeutic and a good way to release her emotions.
Axl had been a wreck since he’d lost Stella. He’d started drink heavily again, going on to stage late, chain smoking to calm his nerves, and writing music only to throw it all away. He refused to get help, refused to even talk to Beta about what had happened, and refused to even speak her name. He eventually refused to go on stage during the tour resulting in several dates being cancelled. Beta had started to worry for Axl’s health as he was up at all hours playing his piano or drinking. He’d demanded to be left alone and had slipped back into being a recluse just as he had after Stephanie had left him. Much to Beta’s dismay, Axl had shut himself away in his mansion overlooking the sea and refused to come out. She had to do something. She had to find Stella and make this all work out, no matter what had happened she couldn’t stand to see the man she considered her son to be in such a state.
Beta had gotten in touch with Thomas again and had gotten his address. He had informed Beta of Stella’s declining health as she refused to sleep and was constantly sick, he was more worried about the safety of his sister than anything.
“Stella?” Beta had said once she’d arrived at Thomas’s home in Germany, knocking gently on the girl’s door.
“Beta?” Stella had almost run to the door to hug the woman. She couldn’t stop the tears that had formed in her eyes and moved down her cheeks as she clung to the woman who had done so much for her.
“Look at you.” She shook her head as she pulled back to look at the girl, she’d grown pale and had dark circles under her eyes. She was a shell of what she once was.
“Why are you here? He’s not, here is he?” She took another step back from Beta before letting out a sigh of relief when the older woman shook her head.
“I came alone. I need to know what happened. Axl is devastated. He won’t eat, won’t sleep, he drinks heavily, I hear him crying. I’ve never seen him like this.” Beta explain as they moved to sit together on the edge of Stella’s bed.
“He did it to himself.” Stella said flatly as she hugged her knees to her chest. “He hit me.”
“And instead of talking to one another, you ran away to Germany and he locked himself in his home.” Beta shook her head and rested her hand on Stella’s shoulder. “Sweetie…What has happened to you? You’re different.”
“Teen pregnancy and crippling depression will do that to a girl.” Stella was wiping at more tears now. She hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet. She was nearly twelve weeks along and had managed to the baby bump forming from her brother. “I found out a couple of weeks ago.”
“You have to tell Axl.” Beta stated firmly. “He at least deserves to know.”
“You can tell him. But don’t you dare tell him where I am.” She said softly as her hand
went to rest over her stomach, her legs dropping to the floor. “I don’t want to see him.”
“He deserves to hear the news from the mother of his child. You two have to talk face to face, be adults about this.” Beta tried to reason.
“No. I’m not…I can’t stand to even think of him, Beta. Seeing him will only break my heart. I miss him more than anything, but he has to know what he did was wrong, and I won’t be treated like that.” Stella sniffled softly and exhaled shakily.
“Axl has never been this destroyed before, I think he’s learned his lesson.” Beta said as she stood and walked towards the door to leave.
“Wait…” Stella called right as the older woman reached the door. “Can you tell him that I still love him? That I just need some time to heal and figure things out?”
Beta stared at the girl, saw the tears in her eyes and could almost feel the heartbreak just from the look on her face. Finally, she nodded and gave a gentle smile to the girl. “I can do that.”
Beta’s stay only lasted a couple of days before she headed back to make sure Axl was still doing okay. When she walked into the trashed mansion, her heart ached for the man all over again. Axl had been shocked at the news of Beta visiting Stella and had demanded to know where she was, only to be refused an answer. In Germany, Stella had begun to take better care of herself, knowing she had to stay healthy for the baby. Despite her fears and uncertainty, she decided she wanted to keep the baby. She didn’t think she could stand giving it up.
Once the doctor had given her the okay to travel despite her being nearly four months pregnant, Stella said goodbye to her brother and headed back to LA to talk things out with Axl. She couldn’t raise the baby on her own and couldn’t stand being away from the man any longer.
That was how she came to be standing in front of Axl’s home, debating on whether she should ring the doorbell. Eventually gaining the courage, Stella rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves when Beta answered the door to allow her into the home.
“Where is he?” Stella asked softly as she glanced around the trashed mansion, taking note of the shattered mirrors probably from a very emotionally unstable Axl.
“Where he always is, the piano in his room.” Beta said and smiled gently. “Go to him.”
Stella didn’t have to be told twice and was heading up the stairs as quickly as her feet would carry her, she had to see the man. Had to know that he was okay, that he was healthy. She burst into his room only to find an empty room. She exited his room and started for the stairs when a voice made her stop in her tracks.
“Stella?” The voice was shaky and quiet, but undeniably belonging to Axl. “I’m sorry…I-I didn’t mean to hit you, please stay? Don’t go.” He was almost panicked when she went to take a step down the stairs to get away from him. She didn’t want to run, but she didn’t want to hurt again. But the panic and the sorrow in Axl’s voice combined with the soft plea stopped her and forced her to turn and look at him.
“It’s okay.” She said softly as she advanced towards him, her arms going around him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
As soon as their torsos touched, Axl took a step back and looked down to the baby bump that had grown considerably. “You…You’re pregnant?”
“Four months along. I found out two months ago, that’s part of why I’m here. You deserved to know.” Stella shifted under the weight of his wide-eyed gaze.
“D-Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” He placed his hand over her stomach, eyes full of tears now.
“A boy.” Stella managed a small laugh through her tears, hand over Axl’s now. “I almost lost him early on, I wasn’t taking care of myself…But I heard you haven’t been taking care of yourself either.” Her free hand moved to his cheek, her heart skipping a beat as he tilted his head into the touch.
Axl couldn’t stop himself now, he pulled her to him and just held her. He held her like she was the only thing keeping him weighted to the ground, like it was the last time he might hug her. Stella buried her face in his chest and breathed in his scent, it was the same it had always been.
“I love you. I love you so much. I’m never going to hurt you again.” Axl said as his grip tightened on her, his lips pressing to her head. “I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for what I said to you and hitting you. I didn’t mean it and you must believe me. I hated myself the second I realized what I had done.” He looked into her eyes now, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I love you, Stella.”
“I love you too. It’s okay now, we can move on from this.” Stella assured him as she rested her hands on his chest. “We have each other, we have a baby on the way, and that’s all that matters.”
They moved into the bedroom and laid on the bed so Stella could rest after her long flight and ride back home. It was clear she was exhausted and Axl wanted nothing more than to just be close to her.
“Do you want to see a picture of him?” Stella asked as she pulled out her phone and looked at him. She smiled when she received a nod and pulled up the 3D sonogram she’d saved to her phone. “He’s got your nose.”
“And your mouth.” Axl smiled as he stared at the picture. “He’s beautiful. I’ve always wanted a family, Stella.”
“Well you’re about to have one.” She smiled and leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Let’s get some sleep, Beta tells me you haven’t been sleeping.” She pulled him to lay closer to her and set her phone aside.
“I couldn’t sleep. I threw myself into writing music, but on the bright side I think I finally finished the song.” Axl smiled tiredly as he ran his thumb across her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Axl.”
And so, all was well. The pair were back together again and were able to begin picking up the pieces and rebuilding their life. Things were just beginning to fall in place.
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