FicWad

Authors Note: I'm so fucking sorry it took me this long to update. With finally escaping the shit-hole small town I was living in and adjusting to city living in an apartment, things got a bit hectic! I've adjusted a bit to the city life and am finally back in a place where I can begin writing again! I struggled with my muse for this story and considered abandoning it but found new inspiration not long ago! I hope you enjoy!


Chapter 13: Fighting the Storm

“I’m not your fucking property! I can fucking go out if I please!” Stella shouted and tore herself from Axl’s grip, shoving him back.

“I know exactly where you’re fucking going and I’m not letting you do that to yourself!” Axl shouted as he stumbled back slightly.

It had been like this for the last six months. It had started when Axl had caught Stella downtown buying pain pills from some random man off the streets and had progressed and gotten worse. Stella had eventually contacted Steven Adler, of all people, and had gotten high with him. That’s when Axl had had enough and had started having employees watch her every move, Stella had just found out.

“You fucking watch me, Axl! I’m fucking leaving and you’re not going to stop me.” She shouted again, grabbing her bag and turning to leave, walking out the front door and slamming it behind her. Axl knew better than to follow her at this point, knew better than to try and stop her. If he did, things would turn physical and it was the last thing he wanted.

“Fuck!” Axl shouted and ran a hand through his hair before grabbing his phone and texting the men he’d hired to follow her.

“We have to do something, Axl.” Beta said as she entered the living room, frowning.

Axl looked horrible. He’d lost a considerable amount of weight in six months, his skin was pale, and dark rings had begun to form under his eyes. Beta knew that Axl hadn’t been sleeping or eating and she was worried.

“What?! What could I possibly do?!” He exclaimed and shook his head.

“You could try to talk to her, Axl. The two of you haven’t communicated since—”

“Don’t fucking say it.” Axl snapped, eyes growing dark.

It was true, they hadn’t spoken since they’d lost their child. Just looking at one another had been too painful, and so they had simply coexisted rather than lived as a couple…Until now. Now, things were different. Darker. In many ways, Stella’s behavior mirrored what Axl’s had been when he and Erin had lost their child. He’d grown violent, irrational, and developed an addiction to drugs and alcohol.

“You need to sit down and talk…At least try, Axl.” Was all Beta said before moving to grab the paper work she’d come to get and leaving.

It wasn’t until later that night that Axl got a call from Stella. She was crying and begging him to come get her and Axl was on his way in a heartbeat. As he drove towards the address she’d given him, he began to wonder if things would ever get better for them or if perhaps they were already finished. The idea of losing Stella pained Axl more than he’d admit to anyone, but he couldn’t keep on with the fighting, the drugs, and the middle of the night calls begging him to come get her. Something had to change.

Axl arrived at the address he was given and got out of the car, walking to where Stella had sat herself on a bench and gently shook her sleeping form. The first time this had happened, he’d been worried she might be dead but had soon learned that after a binge she tended to drift off to sleep after calling Axl crying to pick her up. He sighed when she woke just enough to lean against him as he lifted her around the waist to guide her to his car.

“I’m sorry.” Stella murmured as she woke a bit from her sleep, tired and dilated eyes looking at Axl who said nothing and began driving back home. He was done talking, done telling her it was okay, done telling her things would get better.

When they arrived home, Axl undressed Stella and led her to the bathroom so he could wash the stench of drugs and cigarette smoke out of her hair. After this task was finished, he dried her and helped her dress in one of his tee shirts before setting her in their bed and tucking her in. He then made his way to one of the guest rooms to sleep just as he’d been doing for the last four months.

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A week had passed and finally Axl decided it was time to sit down and try to talk to Stella like adults. He knew he had no way of relating to the awful trauma she had faced but he had to try to let her know that there were better ways of dealing with things.

“Stella, can we talk?” Axl questioned as Stella walked into the house from her most recent shopping trip. Stella paused, surprised that Axl was speaking to her again.

“Talk?” She set the bags down and took a seat across from him at the dining room table. “About what?”

“What’s been happening.” Axl said, sad green eyes looking up to meet hers. “I’m worried about you.”

“Is that why you have men following my every move?” She snapped and crossed her arms.

“Yes. But I’ve called them off, I realize that it was not the way to handle things. I’m sorry.” He was speaking evenly and rationally though every fiber in his being was wanting to scream at her, be angry and upset about what had been happening.

“You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine.” She lied smoothly, it had become second nature for her.

“Stella. You’re not fine…Neither of us are.” Axl had to admit his feelings too, let her know she wasn’t alone.

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She knew this was heading into talking about the baby and she just couldn’t right now.

“Stella, we have to talk about this.” Axl was trying to stay calm but the emotions were beginning to boil over and cause his voice to shake.

“No! I’m not fucking talking about this! How fucking dare you!” Stella exploded, green eyes appearing furious but holding a deep sadness. “You don’t get to do this, you can’t bring this up!”

Axl couldn’t take anymore. Six months of bottling up his emotions, being afraid to face them. Six months of pretending nothing had happened to them, avoiding the subject. Six months of dealing with Stella’s self-destructive behavior leaving him feeling helpless. Six months of hurt, anger, and grief were finally beginning to surface. And before he could stop himself, he was standing up with such force his chair fell back, his palms slamming on the table causing Stella to gasp.

“I fucking lost my child too! He was my son too!” Axl shouted, tears feeling his eyes as his body began to shake with quiet sobs. His shaking hands went through his hair as he turned away from her, walking to the window to look outside in hopes of regaining composure.

Stella had never seen such an outburst from Axl, had never seen him this upset before. And in that moment, she’d never felt worse about what she’d been doing. She watched as Axl’s body trembled with silent sobs, his back tense. She’d known she needed to get help and had been toying with the idea for the last couple of months, but she had her answer now.

She quietly walked up behind him and reached out to touch his shoulder, her own green eyes filling with tears. She was upset about the loss of their son and felt like a monster for leaving Axl on his own to deal with the grief. She should have been there for him, should have talked about it.

When her hand touched his shoulder, she moved in front of him so she could hug him properly. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist as his wrapped around her. It was the first time they’d held one another in the last six months, the first time they’d allowed themselves to be open about their emotions and about what was happening to them.
“I’ll get help, Axl. I promise.” Stella had managed to say after gaining composure of herself, only earning a nod from Axl.

He wouldn’t believe her words until he saw actions being taken to make them a reality. He couldn’t risk false hope and having his expectations crushed.

“Check me into rehab.” She said finally, her eyes meeting his and only earning another nod in return.

“I will.” Axl said before brushing past her and heading to his music room. The sound of the door closing echoed through the house and soon the sound of the piano filled the empty air.
Stella moved to look out the window at where their garden used to be, Axl had had it removed after the baby had died and Stella had given up on their gardening project. She wondered what else had changed while she’d been busy getting high. She had noticed Axl’s change in weight and the dark circles that had appeared under his eyes, he had stopped eating as often as he should have been. He looked like a ghost of the man Stella had fallen in love with.

She let out a sob and quickly covered her mouth to muffle it, her legs suddenly giving out and causing her to sink to the floor. She was a monster. She’d left Axl on his own to arrange the funeral for their son, she hadn’t even attended it. She’d been too busy with Steven getting high. Axl had handled everything for her and she’d repaid him by treating him like shit. She’d gotten too caught up in her own grief to worry about his. She’d destroyed the already broken man she’d so desperately tried to fix. She knew what she had to do….
She had to leave.

She had to leave, clean up her act, and let Axl recover from the hell she’d put him through. She moved to her feet and hurried for their room, throwing clothes into her suitcase as quietly as she could before rushing down the stairs and out the door, demanding one of the employees took her to the airport. She had to go back to her brother’s home. She couldn’t leave a note and tell Axl where she was going because he would come looking for her and she couldn’t hurt him anymore, she had to protect him.

She had to protect him from her.