FicWad

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own the lyrics for "Ain't Misbehavin'" or "Honeysuckle Rose", which are by Andy Razaf.

AN: This is post-time-skip, somewhere during a lull after the Sand mission arc. Kakashi's not in the hospital and it's somewhere in between trainings. If no lull exists, I'm making one up. Work with me here.

This also contains a sort of "mini-sequel" to "Exactly Like You." That'll be around Chapter 5.

AIN'T MISBEHAVIN'

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Chapter One: A Modest Proposal

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Naruto was feeling pretty pleased with himself. There were two-count 'em, two!-free ramen coupons burning a hole in his pocket. No matter what else was going on in his life, the anticipation of Ichiraku's ramen - Ichiraku's exquisite ramen - gave everything a warm, rosy hue. He had received one from the grand old man himself after he had returned from his last mission, then good ol' Iruka-sensei gave him another one. Now that he had a scrap of free time, he was going to finally take advantage. He had a feeling today was going to be a very good day.

"Gonna get me some ra-a-amen," he sung tunelessly to himself as he strolled down the street. "Gonna get me some ramen to-ni-yi-yi-yight!" He looked up and saw Kiba and Shino walking towards him. Akamaru trotted along behind them, snapping at butterflies.

Seeing Naruto approaching, Kiba nudged Shino. "Hey, there he is!"

"I am able to observe him without you bruising my arm," Shino replied.

"Kiba! Shino!" Naruto yelled, waving at them, which was a little unnecessary, since by this time they were only about two feet away from each other.

"Naruto," Shino greeted stoicly, flinching to avoid the blond boy's waving arm.

"Hey, Naruto!" the more effusive Kiba called back. "What's crackin'?"

"Not much," Naruto drawled expansively. "Shino, dude, aren't you hot in that outfit?" he asked.

Shino, enveloped in his double-jacket look (which he personally thought was the ultimate in coolness), gave a weary sigh. "No," he replied for the twelfth time.

Naruto chuckled. That wasn't ever gonna get old. "Anyway, I've got two free Ichiraku ramen coupons," he announced smugly, "so I'm gonna mosey on over there."

"I see," Kiba said, nodding. He glanced imperceptibly at Shino. "So... are you gonna use both of them?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. He wasn't necessarily averse to sharing his coupons when he had more than one, which wasn't too often. But he was particular about who he shared them with. "Why, who's asking?" he muttered.

Kiba's eyes widened and he gave a short, triumphant laugh. He poked Naruto in the chest. "You are!"

Naruto frowned and rubbed his sore left nipple. "Huh?"

Kiba flung an arm over Naruto's shoulder. "Okay, it's like this. Shino, you're backin' me up on this, right?"

"I suppose."

Naruto was beginning to not like this. He was seriously losing his "good day" feeling. He imagined having to beat both these guys up to defend his coupons. Oh, yeah, the dog, too. Maybe he could fart in Kiba's face again. Nah, he probably wouldn't fall for that one. "What are you talking about?"

Kiba's face took on a knowing, worldly expression. He kept one arm around Naruto's shoulder, and grasping the edge of his jacket with his other hand, adopted an oratory stance. "I'm talking about a certain young lady. A young lady with many estimable qualities. A young lady of utmost demurity-"

"That's not a real word," Shino observed.

Kiba ignored him and continued speaking to a blankly staring Naruto. "A young, raven-haired kunoichi with a figure like a-like a-" He paused. "Shino, help me out here, dude. A figure like a-" he prompted.

"Rhinoceros beetle?"

Kiba glared at him icily.

"Jerusalem cricket?"

Another frozen stare. Shino sighed. "A wasp?"

"Close enough. Anyway, Naruto, do you have any idea who I'm talking about?" Kiba raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Naruto thought for a moment and shook his head. Kiba smacked himself on the forehead, then, as an afterthought, smacked Naruto on the forehead.

"Okay, I'm gonna give you another chance. The young lady I'm talking about is the owner of a pair of wide, luminous eyes that shine like-um-um--"

"Pearls."

Kiba snapped his fingers and pointed at Shino excitedly. "That's good! I like that! Pearls. Big, freakin' pearls. Come on, Naruto. Even you can figure it out now."

Naruto thought hard. Kiba could almost hear the rusty gears squealing into motion. Finally, he ventured slowly, "Hinata?"

Kiba thrust a fist in the air. "Yahtzee!!" he cried. "You have hit the nail on the head, my friend. Hinata, indeed. Forsooth, even."

"Okay, what about her? And what does this have to do with my ramen coupons?"

Kiba gazed at him sadly and sighed. "I swear, Naruto, sometimes you are thicker than a whale omelet. I guess I'm going to have to be a little more direct."

"That would be nice," Shino muttered.

"Okay, here's the deal. I gonna tell you something that may amaze you. Shock you, perhaps. You ready?"

Naruto frowned warningly. "Yes," he replied between clenched teeth.

"Hinata has a major crush on you. I am fairly sure that you are not even remotely aware of this."

Naruto gave a startled jump and stared at him. "What? I-she-you-are you sure?"

"As far as I know, she's always had one. Am I right, Shino?"

"I believe so."

"C'mon, Shino, a little more conviction here! Look, Naruto, didn't you ever wonder why she always faints every time you get close to her?"

Naruto shrugged helplessly. "Low blood pressure?"

"No. Haven't you ever noticed how she gets all nervous and shy and junk when she's around you?"

Naruto shook his head. "Isn't she like that all the time?"

"No! Come on, man!" Kiba shook him by the shoulders. "She completely digs you! I can't believe you've never noticed!"

"He's never noticed," said Shino. "Get on with it."

"Get on with what?" Naruto shouted in frustration. "What are you talking about?"

Kiba clutched his head in his hands and moaned. Shino's eyebrows squished together in consternation above his dark glasses. He turned to Naruto.

"Hinata has been infatuated with you since we were all in the Academy. She has never professed this attraction to you, although it is blatantly obvious to everyone else. Kiba is of the strong opinion that you should request that she accompany you in some sort of social interaction situation, viz., a date. The information you volunteered concerning the possession of two free ramen coupons has apparently led Kiba to suggest that you share one with Hinata, thus aiding you in the expedition of said request."

"Woof!" Akamaru agreed, his tongue merrily lolling out the side of his mouth.

Naruto looked from one to the other of his companions. He said slowly, "You're saying I should ask Hinata if she'd like to come with me on a date to Ichiraku's."

Kiba was bent over with his hands resting on his knees. "Yeah," he said in a strangled voice.

Naruto's face slowly brightened like a spring landscape after a rainstorm. "Okay!" he said and sauntered off.

"There," said Shino. "That was not particularly difficult."

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AN: This started out as a few humorous drabbles I thought up, and I decided to piece them together. It then took on a life of its own.