FicWad

When Zelretch returned to the ruined throne room of King Artoria, guest in tow, he was amused as the knightly king of Britain was holding a bare bottomed Harry Potter in one hand and one of the child caring books he left for her in the other. Really, his amusement came more from the serious face of utter concentration Artoria had while reading a few pieces on a specific page before glancing towards Harry's bottom for a few seconds before repeating the whole procedure.

The amused giggle from his aid was subtle as her grey eyes took in the scene, having been fed enough knowledge from Zelretch beforehand to know the ridiculousness of the sight. This woman was King 'Arthur', King of Knights over a thousand years ago, went to the 'Throne of Heroes' when she died and has now been summoned from said realm in an unorthodox manner at Zelretch's machinations.

Or it could have been she was still laughing about Remilia and herself all but forcing Zelretch into a fancy British butler suit with the same color scheme as the most overpowered loli-maid in existence.

Zelretch cleared his throat, prompting the king to look over at him, glancing at her for a few inscrutable moments.

"Ah, Chamberlain, I see you have returned with an aid." The Dead Apostle Ancestor (DAA) lamented the fact that she would not even call him by name already. "I suppose she will be adequate for the restoration of my castle? She seems a bit on the young side and this castle hasn't seen a broom in a few centuries. I also expected...more than one, really."

Zelretch started to sweat as the maid began to radiate a subtle killing intent at the mention of her...'young' looks. Hastily, he sought to defuse the bomb that could quite literally erase their timeline. "I assure you, my king, she is the most capable set of hands when it comes to cooking, cleaning, sewing, and assassinations. She'll have this castle looking better then ever before the days over with. May I introduce to you the help I've borrowed from a friend, Sakuya Izayoi."

Her face hiding her annoyance from the perceived insult already, the young woman gave a professional curtsy out of habit, her head bowed in respect as demanded of her station.

"With the blessing of my mistress, Remilia Scarlet, I've come with Zelretch-san to aid in the restoration and maintenance of the castle Camelot and its grounds."

The King observed the young girl who couldn't have been but a few years older then her own self when she had first pulled Caliburn from the stone to claim Kingship of Briton, but she came up to the king's nose. She held herself very well, as if she'd been a maid for royalty for decades. She was still iffy about her new Chamberlain's claims but to not give such a professional maid the chance to prove herself would be rife with folly.

Hell, she gave Mordred the chance to prove worthy of succeeding her on the throne. Unfortunate after-effects aside, her bastard child had proven more capable then she'd originally expected.

Thinking about the past aside, she would give this maid the same amount of respect as she did Mordred.

"Very well, Sakuya. If my Chamberlain holds you in such high regard, I will await the completion of your initial tasks before judging you. Should you exceed my expectations, I would like to continue having you around, perhaps to even train him to be better adapted to his role in the castle grounds. Do you have any words?"

Zelretch felt a cold chill down his spine. Glancing at Sakuya's bowed face, he thought it was a twitch in the corner of her lips. A few moments later, 'YES, another twitch!' In just another moment, he saw a maniacal grin on her face while he could see the pupil of her eye looking over at him. 'SH..II...IT...TTAH!'

'Come on, Sakuya-chan, you can't still be angry about that one prank! It was just indestructible green hair dye! Aoko-chan made it!'

When Sakuya looked up again, her face was impassive as 'always.' "If it is the King's desires, I shall have this castle once again fit to host such an esteemed person before the sun is set. My specializing in Magic is 'Temporal and Spacial Manipulation.' It makes the completion of my maid duties in a timely manner a guaranteed result. Shall I commence?"

Even her voice was young but her clarity and vocabulary were obviously much more advanced then a young girl her age back in Artoria's time was and the prospect of sleeping on a bed before the night comes was good to the ears. Artoria wasn't exactly an expert in magic but she could guess the rudimentary applications of such magic specializations.

"We have a contract then, Sakuya Izayoi. You will be the Head Chamberlain of Camelot and should you fulfill your boast before night is upon us, I would accept your services with open arms and afford you the authority to train your fellow Chamberlain until as such a time as he's fit for his duties in your eyes for the role I have him as."

Artoria wouldn't admit to wanting to eat the young girl when she graced her new employer with such a sweet, beautiful smile with her grey eyes positively shining like twin moons on a dark night. It was so radiant that neither paid attention to Zelretch who was literally chewing his fingernails to the roots.

The maid gave a flourish of her arms that brought up a large magic circle with the hands of a clock in the middle. Just like that, ten copies of the maid appeared before zipping off. Artoria just stood transfixed as slowly but surely, her throne room was being restored piece by piece by a seemingly invisible force.

"Do you require aid in caring for the child, your Majesty?" came a voice beside her, somehow completely bypassing her Instinct as a warrior. Head jerking to the side, she saw the maid standing at a bow waiting for her reply. Seeing as how the castle was already showing improvements, Artoria nodded.

"Yes, Head Chamberlain. I have never raised a child before. He is the center of my circumstances right now and as such, I pity him that I've not the experience or knowledge in rearing a child outside of basic survival needs. While I will be busy for the foreseeable future in other matters, it'd be a stain on my honor if I didn't provide him the best care I could."

Her face twisted in a grimace at the memory of her summoning. "Some warlocks were intending to use him as a sacrifice when summoning me should it be needed and I've no doubt his parents aren't in a good state of health. As such, it is indirectly the fault of my existence that he suffered in their attempts to summon me as a bound servant, no doubt to abuse my powers. I owe him a good childhood at the least."

The maid gave a nod and held her hands out for the child which Artoria acquiesced, handing Harry over to a set of much gentler hands. With another magic circle popping up upon the snap of Sakuya's fingers, the two vanished from Artoria's sight only for a moment before the maid returned with the child bathed, groomed and clothed in a diaper!

"The young lord is cleaned and groomed, your Majesty, though I do believe he will be hungry soon. Shall I prioritize the restoration of your personal chambers to give you privacy to feed him?"

'What? Why would the maid assume such a thing?' Noticing the questioning look, Sakuya's eyes subconsciously darted from the baby to Artoria's...larger then average chest. 'Oh, I see the mistake.'

"Contrary to your thoughts, I'm not the child's mother nor am I capable of nursing. That was another predicament I was trying to work around. Do you have any suggestions for feeding him?"

Sakuya's eyes widened at her mistake and bowed sincerely for the mistake on her part. "I apologize but you misunderstood. It would be an easy solution to have Zelretch-san take me to the nearest market for baby formula to help you feed him."

"Baby...formula? I've not heard of this before? What does math have to do with putting a leaking tit in an infant's mouth?"

Sakuya would never ever forget that moment and she'd swear on her professionalism that she didn't crack an amused smirk at King Artoria's clueless-ness. 'That's right, this king was revived from the Middle Ages. They didn't have baby formula back then.'

"Not math, per say. In the modern times now, it is a nutritional liquid blend of ingredients made to feed babies once mothers begin weaning them."

Ahh...that makes much more sense to the out-of-time King of Britain.

"Very well, if you can spare the manpower, have the Chamberlain vampire take you to the nearest market. I would have liked to go with you to see what my country has become like over the past 1,500 years but I would like to walk the grounds of Camelot as you put it back together. There are some places I would like restored to a more personalized form."

A couple of rooms came to mind that she would see repaired. Reasons for them were of the personal matter. The maid nodded in understanding and got Zelretch who was still standing around...doing nothing but crying. 'Honestly, perhaps I should just give the job to Sakuya and have him fetch me catalysts so that I may summon my Knights of the Round. Although, perhaps I could have him do that AND be trained by Sakuya. The young maid certainly is proving her weight in mythril.'

Another Sakuya clone was already in front of the king, taking its original's place.

"As you desire, your Majesty. My magic is very well suited for tasks such as that. During my employ under mistress Remilia, I had to repair her mansion numerous times due to a pair of very destructive pests that would visit quite often. Had they not been so well in my mistress' grace, then the problems would not have repeated so often. As such, I have quite the experience. If you'd like, I have some ideas that you might find suitable for the castle if you'd like to hear?"

"I am interested, young maid. If you will explain these improvements while we walk." It was more a command rather then a question but to Artoria's approval, she'd no need to tell the maid.

As they walked from the throne room and down the ancient halls, it was a very heart tugging sight for Artoria to see the maid's claims as no boast, mesmerized as she was by time seemingly reversing as her beloved castle put itself back together. The stones that had crumbled from time and exposure to the natural elements rebuilt and stacked themselves in their proper places. Moments later, a roof was over their heads, no doubt the castle above them continuing to rebuild itself.

It was hard to stay focused enough to point out certain details for the maid to fix as they traveled. This magic was simply too impossible for the laws of her own world. Unseen to her eyes but barely noticeable to her senses, hundreds of Sakuya clones were dashing at near instant speeds either using magic to repair the castle or physically cleaning it with dust fans and brooms and rags. Merlin would have promised an abstinence of pantie thievery if he could learn this magic.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to know the nature of your new employment. You seem quite eager despite having served your mistress."

Sakuya let a small smile slip on her face. "I am actually still employed with Mistress Remilia. My time magic allows me to make clones of myself, these being from different 'times.' That is the easiest way to explain it. I myself am using a time clone of a much sturdier nature to still serve my mistress. When Zelretch-san came, she was quite volatile but hearing of his situation, she struck a deal seeing as how she owed him a favor."

"You don't sound like you like him either, Sakuya. Is it fine if I call you that?"

Sakuya bowed her head. "It would be unprofessional if you did. If you desire for a less formal alternative, you may call me Izayoi-san." Artoria agreed, wanting to get along with the conversation. She didn't like too much formality between her and her knights, despite Gawain's refusal to refer to her as anything other then 'my King.'

"Very well, only if you would refer to me as whatever feels most comfortable when in private. Even if I'm the undisputed Past and Future King of Britain, retrospection has led me to valuing the few times I spent with my knights as friend rather than their king. With them gone, I would not like to suffer such loneliness again. You're rebuilding my beloved Camelot right before my eyes. I believe you're worthy of my genuine respect."

Seeing the agreement and how important it seemed to the female king, Sakuya nodded while filing away the psyche profile she was making of her co-employer and continued the walk as Artoria led the way up a flight of stairs that hadn't been there minutes ago.

"Very well...Artoria-san. As for my relationship with Zelretch-san, it could be much better. He was being his usual self- pranking alternate realities and such, and my mistress and her sister were two of his targets. I obviously took an exception to that and proceeded to turn him into a pin cushion with hundreds of knives. Unfortunately, the nature of his regeneration was unknown to me and caused my mistress no end of frustration when he kept recovering as if it didn't happen."

Artoria raised a brow in confusion. "As a Dead Apostle, his regeneration is that of reversing time. It's especially powerful during a full moon. I'd think a practitioner of such powerful time magic such as yourself would have realized that."

The maid gave a noticeable sigh. "I did end up realizing this but unfortunately, while I can speed up or slow down the time of an object, I can't stop someone else's time. I most likely could kill Zelretch, but it would be a slow process. Anyway, it seemed Zelretch-san and Mistress Remilia already shared some history and his visit was just him appeasing his boredom. Before I could kill him, he brought up a topic of personal issues with my master and she ordered me to treat him as a guest. Apparently, he was friends with her parents and saw himself as some kind of uncle to her and Flandre Scarlet, her sister."

"He sounds more like a stray that pops up wherever he isn't wanted," the king jested, getting a smirk from the normally stoic maid.

"Yes, that describes him perfectly. So, bereft of any authority to kill him on sight unless allowed, I could barely keep my decorum when suddenly given a chance to train him as a chamberlain." Sakuya stopped and curtsied with all the poise and grace of a maid who's done this a million times though there was a beautiful, soft smile on her enchanting features. "So, I must thank you for this opportunity to...teach my skills, King Artoria. I will be sure to savor each moment as I transform Zelretch into an exemplary butler that outperforms all but myself. I'll have that stray dog fit for royalty."

Artoria gave a critical look. "Was that a joke, Sakuya?" The smile disappeared from Sakuya's face she was back to being stoic as a marble statue.

"I'm not sure what you mean, your majesty."

'Was that a joke, though? How many years has it been for me since someone other than Merlin told me a joke?' Instead of arguing, Artoria simply smiled and gestured Sakuya to follow. "It must have been my imagination then. Come, Izayoi-san, there is a room on this floor that I would oversee the reconstruction of."

Of all the places Zelretch could have taken them, he decided that London would be a decent place for shopping. It had the most amount of stores with greatest diversity and considering who he was, money wasn't a problem. Walking out of an alley, he led the way, jeweled cane tapping along the stone pavement of the city as Sakuya followed behind with the baby Harry in her arms, gently bouncing the child as he slept.

Such pristine yet old fashion people drew quite the attention for many Britons. It was like looking at a pair who traveled right out of time from the older days when Britain was quite famous for their style and mannerism. The elder man garnered some appreciative looks from older women along with the unavoidable snickers from the younger folk. Sakuya's attention was somewhat similar though more appreciative while some wondered what such a young woman was doing serving as a maid as she didn't look old enough to be out of school.

Sakuya wouldn't know why they'd assume she was that young. She was as tall as some of these women. Heck, she was as tall as Yakumo Yukari and no one ever thinks she's...Sakuya glances down at her small chest in realization. 'That has to be why.'

The young maid spared some attention to the massive city around her, not having seen anything like it before. The smell of the air was almost intolerable to her nose that was use to the cleanliness of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and the surrounding forests but she fought down her disgust of the car fumes and bits of sanitary issues here and there and focused more on her senses of sight and hearing.

Never had she seen so many humans at one time. There were hundreds walking along the sides of the streets, all dressed in a variety of different clothing styles, some wearing skirts and other jeans, some wearing long-sleeved t-shirts while others wearing sleeveless tank tops. There were clean shaven people while others had beards or mustaches. Newspapers and foods were sold from stands on the sidewalks that she made sure to remember to pick up when she's done shopping, primarily the newspaper. Catching up on modern times would be helpful for the time displaced king of knights. Perhaps she should visit the local library and check out a dictionary, encyclopedia, thesaurus, an atlas map, and a few other things after they get Harry fed? She could use her magic to give the King plenty of time to go through all of the information without wasting weeks or months away in real time.

The first stop before any of that though was a store that supplied baby materials. She asked for the location and Zelretch was helpful to point it out, having temporarily put in the back of his mind the fact that chances were looking pretty damn good that he'd be whipped into tip-top shape as a butler by one of the biggest closet sadists he knew. It makes sense if you think about it. Sakuya has the ability to wipe out entire timelines or compress space and time, so if you have the imagination to think of all the ways she can easily kill a person, yet realize she prefers to stick you with more blades to the point you look like you're Emiya Shirou having stood in the middle of an angry Counter-Guardian EMIYA's Unlimited Blade Works, then you'll realize the equation doesn't add up without multiplying the sum by the sadism.

"Just around the corner here, Sakuya-chan," he responded, looking to take his mind off the thought of how much of Camelot is already rebuilt. While she can't actually fix things that are broken, she can instead replace them 'as they were'.

"This local store has all that we'll need for the next few years with clothing and tending to young Harry. There might even be some things I can get for sweet, little Flandre."

Sakuya gave him a very flat stare. "You're not thinking of sneaking diapers onto Flandre. She's much too old for them."

Zelretch raised a brow. "That didn't sound like a question."

"That's because it wasn't, Idiot," she said, which the vampire merely grumbled quietly at the cheek. 'It's not like the child outgrew them,' he thought.

Well, true to his word, Sakuya found all that she deemed necessary for caring for a young child. Diapers, baby formula, children's clothes that she felt he'd look presentable in, a few toys and puzzle blocks to help his mind grow, a stuff horse small enough for him to cuddle with, and a few books on child raising that included several studies and experiments on child physical and mental development.

Stepping of the store, Sakuya asked Zelretch to lead the way to the nearest library but he waved it off, pulling a stack of books from behind him like a magic trick. "No need. I already knew what you wanted to get, Sakuya-chan. 'Magic over Parallel Worlds' and what-not, remember?"

She gave the stack a look over, noticing the titles on the sides match up with what she was looking for, save for the newspaper on top of it all.

She just gathers enough gratitude to give him a small nod before walking off, ignoring her small smirk.

"Anything else then?" he asked. Sakuya browsed her mental list for a second before shaking in confirmation. "Then let's be off."

The two took a few steps into an alley where the vampire teleported them back to Camelot. Moments later, several people in old fashioned robes popped into view, having felt a strange sort of magic being used from their offices a minute ago. Judging by their frustrated groans, it seemed they'd been unintentionally given the slip numerous times today.

One of the men notices a box on the ground, the size dimensions being about six cubic feet. He would have ignored it had it not been for the obvious magical energy coming from it. He lets his group know and they slowly inch forward to investigate it.

These men happened to be Aurors, the police force of wizardkind in Magical Britain.

After casting a few spells on the box, they determined it wasn't cursed or hexed. One man opens it up and hops back in surprise, alarming his fellows. Inside the box...was a cute white rabbit with black eyes that seemed to be giving their best impression of the puppy eyes...no, no, something even worse than those. These were...crying kitten eyes. Like Puss'n Boots, times 20.

"Aww, it's just a bunny, guys!" said a woman, her heart already completely enraptured by the teary, wide eyes. She forgets any professional decorum and scoops the shy little thing up in her arms, hugging it to her chest and softly bouncing it.

So occupied in the adorable bunny, none of the Aurors noticed the alleyway's entrance was blocked by some kind of magical force, though unseen to the naked eyes.

None noticed the bunny's eyes turn blood red with black slitted pupils.

"It's so cuuuut-AAGGHHHh!" the woman screamed murder as the rabbit sunk its fangs into her throat, ripping an artery and causing bright blood to shoot everywhere.

"JESUS CHRIST!" the biggest Auror yelled, backpeddling frantically.

The Aurors flipped the fuck out and pulled their wands on the bunny as it, with a twist of its jaws, ripped the rest of the woman's head clean off. The alley was filled with the lights of numerous spells and curses, one man even losing his cool and casting the Avada Kedavra spell, its sickly green beam of death racing towards the evil bunny.

The rabbit pushed itself out of the way using the woman's headless body as a springboard. Frantic eyes tracked it through the air as it landed a few feet in front of the leader of the squad, a large black man who was only able to dodge due to his years of Auror training and instincts. He didn't get off easily though, sacrificing his left arm to the evil rabbit who tore it off with unreal ease.

His screams are ignored for the most part aside from inflaming the already hectic panic among his squad. One Auror screams for his mom, backing away yet trips over his own feet as the rabbit rushes him. With a leap over an incoming spell thrown in desperation, it latches onto the man's wand hand and tears into it with a voraciousness unrivaled in the non-magical animal kingdom. The hand is mauled as if set in a blender and the rabbit is quick to go for the man's face.

Auror Shacklebot, the large black man, could only look through teary eyes as his fellow wizard's legs spasmed as the demonic creature tore into his face, ripping the skin completely off while the man weakly screamed, looking like a man-sized Colossal Titan screaming in pain. A swift bite from the rabbit rips his throat out.

A bombarda spell from another wizard eviscerates the body of the dead wizard in hopes of killing the rabbit but it jumped into the air, riding the shockwave to land by the new attacker. He couldn't react quick enough before the beast tore out the back of his left knee. He barely caught himself with his arms before the rabbit ripped out the elbow of one as well. Landing on his wand holding arm, he could only scream in pain and terror as the rabbit went for his eyes.

Shacklebot was petrified in fear and going into deep shock. It was only because of this that his unintended fainting proved convincing enough for the Beast of Caerbannog to ignore while it feasted on the flesh of his team. He would have surely died had the rabbit not mysteriously vanish into a strange portal much like the ones used by Zelretch, as well as the magical barrier disappearing, allowing for another Auror team that had responded to the large use of magic in public space to see the fate of their allies.

Back in Camelot, having just arrived out of the portal, the vampire catches the rabbit in his arms and hands it to Sakuya who gives him an unimpressed look.

"What is that for?" she asked sternly, clearly not wanting to deal with a rabbit while holding the child.

Zelretch's grin is anything but not-scary. "Well, you see, I read a study about how children who grow up with a pet have an easier time making friends when they're older. He's about the age where something fluffy and cute would be perfect for him."

Sakuya gives the rabbit a cautious look, noting the unimaginably adorable kitten eyes staring into her heart. Even she could not resist such a stare. "At least he is a harmless pet. Does he eat a lot of food?"

Zelretch chuckles in amusement. MUCH amusement. "He's got one helluva appetite."

"Ah, Chamberlain! Izayoi-san! It's great to see you back already." King Artoria was looking quite happy at the moment as they now stood in Camelot as if it had never aged a day during its finest hours. Really, after rebuilding it, Sakuya had already taken to the task of cleaning, dusting, and refurnishing. Not only that, but he was pretty sure such a massive castle was beyond Briton's capabilities, which means Sakuya expanded the space-time reality of Camelot, making it much larger on the inside then its true physical dimensions would physically allow.

The castle really did look grand, more so with Sakuya's special touch. Torches lining the walls created light and a warm atmosphere for them, especially for the vulnerable Harry babe. Banners hung from the ceilings, suits of armor stood along the walls, large stone columns held up the mighty ceiling without strain, decorated in adornments such as trophies from battles and hunts. It all was spotless.

Behind Artoria were twenty time clones of Sakuya standing at attention behind the king of Britain.

"Izayoi-san, you most certainly have the job. As Head Chamberlain, I trust you to maintain the integrity of the castle's structure and to keep with modern hygiene standards, to help me take care of my future vassal Harry, and to train Zelretch to do his duties unless I have need of him. Will you accept?"

Zelretch's formerly good mood soured as the maid bowed in agreement. He really should have worded his vow differently. Merely a downside to his personality. He only really looked up information in parallel worlds when he felt necessary, such as not wasting time looking for books and just having them appear for Sakuya. He didn't want major spoilers for everything though so he kept to himself in regards to some things; for the sake of surprises and interesting things that wouldn't poss a danger to his goal, he told himself.

"By the way, your Majesty, Zelretch-san and I have gotten you books with vital, modern day information for your perusal. It would be most beneficial for you to update your knowledge on the status of the world and the terminology used by your subjects." Sakuya gestured to Zelretch who held out the books and newspapers with magic. "If you want, I can increase your area of time so that you may study these texts and finish within hours or minutes in our time."

The king's yellow eyes gleamed in appreciation, her smile soft and warm. It took Zelretch by surprise how this Tyrant King of Briton could seem so...un-tyranny.

"I would appreciate that, Izayoi-san. The castle is completed. If you could spare some clones to tend to the grounds and train your apprentice, you can help me with my study."

Sakuya nodded, liking the direct method of command, much like her mistress Remilia. Plus, she had a certain vampire troll to torture.

A whisk of noise brought both women's attentions to the bunny in her arms, cuddling up to a sleeping Harry.

"Did you bring lunch as well?" Artoria asked, getting wide eyes from the bunny.

"No, your Majesty. Zelretch got it as a pet for Harry. Apparently, it helps them in the future with developing bonds easier. His words, not mine." The woman nodded after thinking it over a few moments. "If you're hungry, I can have a clone make something up?"

A small stomach growl from both Artoria and Harry settled the question. Artoria answered with no embarrassment. "Please do, Sakuya-san. Hunger is the enemy now."

The maid smiled, making a clone who arrived seconds later and bowed. "Your meal and tea is ready for you both in your private studies, your Majesty." As she disappeared, the original clone took her place. "If you will follow me, I'll make sure we're there in moments."

True to her word, by compressing the space and time of the castle for them, their walk took seconds instead of minutes. Opening the door and gesturing inside by the maid, Artoria walked in, followed by her new favorite woman to see a comfy sofa in front of a table that had a stack of books, a tea set with steam rising from the pot, and a stack of sandwiches (not that Artoria knew what they were).