Categories > Original > Humor
Brickleberry
Fanfic Title:
Psycho Woody Motel.
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
The night was humid and muggy in Brickleberry. Under the bridge and around Hazelhurst, there was a mysterious motel called The Woody Motel. Two of it's residents Steve and Denzel were running away from the motel scared, and ran as far away as possible.
Steve: That was the scariest expirience of my life.
Denzel: We would've been better off staying at the Overlook hotel!
Steveding all frightened, Steve and Denzel both struggle to catch their breaths.
Steve: Holy shit, man! We barely made it.
Denzel: Sweet baby Jesus! Never want to stay here again.
Steve: They say whoever comes to the Woody Motel, never makes it out alive.
Denzel: Think maybe that motel clerk Woody had something to do with this?
Steve: Would not put it past him. He seemed weird to me!
Denzel: Yes, I would agree. While we were watching The Interview, all we heard was Woody screaming at his mother.
Steve: I know. (looks around) Oh, my God! We forgot about Bodean!
Denzel: Hate to tell you this, dude. But.....
Steve watches as Denzel pulls out Bodean's bloodied severed head out of his coat pocket.
Denzel: Afraid Bodean didn't make it! (screams at the Woody Motel): Try that again, muthafucka!
Steve: We're taking that asshole down!
Denzel: We'll talk to the police captain Molloy. He'll know what to do!
Steve and Denzel decide to run down the the police station to report what happened at the Woody Motel.
Scene 2:
Back at the Woody Motel. The motel clerk in charge. Woody is seen hanging up a wig of blond hair and a pink bathrobe with a bloody knife in it's pocket. Then Woody sits down and watches The Late Night Show With Jimmy Fallon.
Jimmy Fallon (on the TV): Did anyone hear Joe Biden called Turkey? He called Butterball Turkey!
The audience laughs as does Woody.
Woody: This is super hilarious!
A woman's voice is heard that startles Woody. It was the voice of his mother Mrs. Johnson Woody. Mrs. Johnson Woody is really dead, but Woody hears her voice and believes she's still alive.
Mrs. Johnson: WOODROW!
Woody (screams in fear): Son of a bitch! Yes, coming Mother!
Mrs. Johnson: What did you do those residents that were here?
Woody: Nothing, mother! Took care of them is all! Need I remind you not to bother me when I'm watching Jimmy Fallon?!
Mrs. Johnson: That's always your excuse! Don't you know you running our residents out of our motel is costing us business?
Woody (trying to convince): But, mother! You told me it was the recession and it was all President Obama's fault.....Not mine!
Mrs. Johnson: I'm starting to think it IS your fault! No matter who comes near you, ends up missing!
Woody: Stop blaming me. Just trying to protect you and our secret...
Mrs. Johnson: What secret?
Woody: From people learning the truth that you're really dead? Had to get rid of them. One of them was a Black!
Mrs. Johnson: Stop being racist! What happened to those Steve, Denzel, and Bodean people! And where's Bodean?
Woody still continues to scream.
Mrs. Johnson: All right. Sorry about that. Guess I'm frustrated trying to make this motel a tourist attraction. Should know you have a tendency to be paranoid. How about I play your favorite song?
Woody: I'd love that very much, mother.
A piano song is heard. The song that is playing is Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. Woody sings along.
Woody (singing): Mr Sandman! Bring Me a Dream! Make him the cutest that I've ever seen.....
The piano was really playing by itself. Mrs. Johnson unknown to Woody is now a rotting corpse sitting on a rocking chair. Woody is posessive of her.
Scene 3:
At the Brickleberry police station, Steve and Denzel wait for the police to show up.
Steve: Sure hope these cops can help us dude.
Denzel: He should be here. What the (beep) is taking so long?
Steve: You know how small town policemen are.
Denzel: This sure ain't (beep)ing Mayberry dude.
Officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak all come out of the office to greet Steve and Denzel.
Off. Bobby: Hey, there. What can I do you for?
Steve: Are you familiar with the Woody Motel?
Off. Firecracker Jim: We get a lot of reports about residents there going missing.
Denzel: Good, you heard of it. We were staying there and our friend Bodeangot killed there.
Steve: We still have his severed head.
Denzel shows the officers Bodean's severed head.
Off. Kuzniak. Murder! Doesn't sound good. Not good at all.
Steve: Also, while we were there, we saw this mysterious motel clerk Woody, who seemed odd to us.
Off. Firecracker Jim: Go on, please.
Steve: Funny thing is, he kept inquisiting us about why we were there....
Denzel: We told him we were on business. Which we were. We're from Detroit, yo!
Steve: Woody kept advising us to stay away from his mother.... Like he was insanely paranoid.
Denzel: Then we got curious...
Steve: We went to look for his mother, and discovered she was dead.
Denzel: The whole time we were there, all he did was scream at his dead mother. That's what made us look for her in the first place.
Steve: Yeah! Indeed We couldn't even watch movies Woody screamed so loud!
Off. Bobby: How long were you there?
Steve: We just wanted to stay the weekend.
Denzel: Once we found out his mother was really dead, then we saw this fat assed figure chase us around. Next thing we knew, he was trying to stab us with a machete!
Off. Bobby: Okay, go on!
Steve: Me and Denzel run away as fast as we could. I ran away first....
Denzel: Took me a while to catch up to Steve, and I saw Bodean get stabbed. Nothing I could've done to help him and.....
Off. Bobby: All right. You told us everything we needed to know. I'm going to the Woody Motel to put him under a lie detector test.
Steve: Thanks so much, dude!
Denzel: In the meantime, we're starting a revolt against that fat mother (beep)er!
Off. Bobby: If he's guilty, we'll arrest him! Go now.
Off. Firecracker Jim: Leave everything to us.
Off. Kuzinak: You better let me handle this first. I'll go alone and then I'll call you and Bobby for backup.
Off. Bobby: Why do you always stay behind for backup?
Off. Firecracker Jim (scoffs): I think what he really means is 'black'-up. Leave us behind so he can do all the work, and at the last minute...BOOM! Send us to get killed.....
Off. Bobby: You guys do your part in helping me with crimes. And don't quote 'Against The Ropes' to me, Token. That movie was pure shit!
Off. Firecracker Jim (exasperated): All right, sorry. (walking off) Never get any glory, anyway.....
Steve and Denzel walk out of the police station and go to a diner. Steve and Denzel decide to go on Facebook and tell everyone in Brickleberry to meet them at the diner.
Scene 4:
Off. Bobby arrives at the Woody Motel to interrogate the deranaged man. Just then, Woody looks out the enterance lobby window and panics.
Woody (screams): Son of a bitch! They're onto me! It's the 5-0! Mother!
Off. Bobby knocks on the door and brings a lie detector test with him.
Woody: Stay away from me!
Off. Bobby: Open up! It's the police!
Woody: Never! You're after my mother!
Off. Bobby: No, I'm not. Just want to ask you a few questions....
Woody: Go to hell you filthy stinky, mother....
Off. Bobby: If you don't open up, I'll use execessive force!
Woody squeals in fear and gives in, and lets Off. Bobby into the motel.
Off. Bobby (laughs): Gets 'em all the time.
Woody: What the (beep) do you want copper?
Off. Bobby: Just want to ask you a few questions about your residents.
Woody: What residents?
Off. Bobby: Don't give me that bullshit, Woody! You know who I mean. Steve Williams, Denzel Jackson, and Bodean. They believe you killed Bodean and tried to kill them all because you're so paranoid they're going to get after your mother! You even dressed like her, too.
Woody: What's your game, copper?
Off. Bobby: Just want to put you under a lie detector test is all.
Woody: You know what? Go ahead! I'll take your stupid ass test! And if it all comes out that I am telling the truth, I'll say, 'screw you'!
Off. Bobby: Whatever. Just let me hook you up.
Woody lets Off. Bobby hook him up the the lie detector test and asks him questions about Bodean's death, and the attempted murder of Steve and Denzel.
Off. Bobby: Did you let Steve and Denzel stay at your motel?
Woody: Yes.
The lie detector test ping and a green light is lit meaning 'truth'.
Off. Bobby: Is it true that you kept interrogating them about why they were there? And advised them to stay away from your mother?
Woody: No.
The lie detector test pinged again and the green light lit again.
Off. Bobby: Is it true you went out of your mind that Steve and Denzel were going to discover your mother?
Woody: No.
The lie detector test pinged again and the green light lit again.
Off. Bobby: And is it true that you dressed in your mother's wig and bathroom, and stabbed Bodean to death?
Woody grew angrier and angrier by the minute. The lie detector test started to go faster.
Off. Bobby: Answer the question?!?!?! Did you...
Woody (angerly snarls): EEERRRRRRRR!!!!
Off. Bobby: Come on! Make this easy on yourself. Did you......
Woody (angerly snarls some more): EEEERRRRRRR!!!!
Off. Bobby: So, did you....
Woody: What the (beep) is this? Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? No, I had nothing to do with Bodean McCormick's murder!
The lie detector test pinged the green light again. Woody as cheated the lie detector test.
Off. Bobby: Okay, it all comes out that you were telling the truth!
Woody: Good! Ha! I proved you wrong! Now get the (beep) out of hee-yah, and go (beep) yourself, copper!
Off. Bobby: Hey! That is no way to speak to a commanding officer...
Woody: You should've thought about that before you suspected me. I'll talk to people however I want!
Off. Bobby: Next time you're a suspect, I just might become like Christopher Meloni with you. Might not be so nice!
Woody (being freed from the lie detector test by Off. Bobby): Law and Order SUV reference, eh? Weak!
Off. Bobby (walking out the door): You're off the hook for now. See you soon.
Woody watches as Off. Bobby unhooks the lie detector test and walks back to his car and back to the police station.
Off. Bobby (drives back): What an asshole. Never dealt with anyone like THAT before.
Woody is relieved and goes into the room where his dead mother is.
Mrs. Johnson: Eric! You cheated a lie detector test. How did you do it?
Woody: Never mind. That's not important right now.
Mrs. Johnson: They're suspecting you, sweetheart. It's serious. We need to talk. You know you killed Bodean, and if you wind up......
Woody: Don't want to talk about it, fucking shit! Let's think of something else we can do! Say, how about we have a dance, mother?
Mrs. Johnson: Like we used to when you were little? Sure we can.
Woody turns on an MP3 player and Bobby Darin's 'Dream Lover' plays. Woody picks up Mrs. Johnson and starts to dance with his dead mother.
Scene 5:
The next day, a car rides up to the Woody motel. A fat redhead woman is running scared towards the front door that leads to the lobby. Her name was Connie. She slams on the doors with her fists.
Connie: Please! Someone help me! I need some place to hide!
Woody: Oh, shit! What now? More cops?
Mrs. Johnson: Answer the door, poopiekins! We need more business!
Woody mumbles obscenities under his breath as he answers the door. He sees Connie and lets her in.
Connie: Thank you so much for this.
Woody: Why do you need to stay here?
Connie: My husband Craig and I owe back taxes to the IRS. We were getting away, but he jumped off a cliff. Then I came here.
Woody: Okay, come in! But stay away from the room my mother is in? Got it? Caught unholy hell for it!
Connie: All right.
Woody lead Connie into a small motel room, Connie stays there thoughout the day. That following night, Connie explores the Woody Motel. She sees a secret door that lead to where Mrs. Johnson was. Little does she know, Woody was secretly wacthing her. To stop her, Woody knows a whipper snapper in her direction. Woody decides to question Connie then give her a warning.
Connie (screams in surprise): Ahhhh! Holy shit.....(walking around) Hello. (runs into Woody face to face) What do you want? Do you play pranks on your residents here?
Woody: No we don't. What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be in your room!
Connie: I could not sleep. Just wanted to explore to tire myself out.
Woody: Likely story. You're really curious, aren't you?
Connie: Well......
Woody: Shut up! Don't follow rules that well, I see. No wonder the IRS is after you!
Connie: How dare you...
Woody: How dare YOU! Don't you ever watch horror movies? Whenever someone goes into a place they're not supposed to go, they get killed!
Connie: Not all horror movie are like that. Ever seen Paranormal Activity?
Woody: Don't you interupt me when I am trying to talk to you...
Connie: My mistake, sorry. Are you saying.....
Woody: There's been lots of rumors about the Woody Motel. That anyone who enters is never seen again....
Connie: Oh, no, this doesn't sound good....
Woody (yelling): Who's doing the talking here?
Connie: Why you, of course.
Woody: Good. Those rumors are false. Nothing bad EVER happens here! Got it!
Connie: OKay! I get you.
Woody: Now for as long as you stay here, you don't need to check out that room in, they-yah! Got it!
Connie: You're right. I was wrong to do so.
Woody: Good. Now go back to your room.
Connie: Going back now. I am going to take a shower. Don't mind me. I am a nervous wreck about the taxes I have to pay.
Woody: Shut up! Don't need to hear your (beep)ing life story! Go now. I hate long goodbyes!
Then Connie goes back to her motel room, and takes a shower. Connie enjoys her shower as she cleans herself. Woody then goes to a coat rack, dresses like his mother. Woody gets the wig, bathrobe, and the bloodied knife he used to kill Bodean the day before. Once Connie is in the shower, Woody sneaks into her room. He uses a hairpin to unlock the door to Connie's motel room. Then Woody secretly goes into the bathroom and turns out the lights.
Connie: What the hell is going on? Who turned out the lights?
Woody pulls out the knife and maliciously attacks Connie. She screams in pain, and Woody stabs her until she's a bloody mess. Connie was dead. Then to cover up the crime, Woody gets a blanket and wraps Connie's dead corpse inside leaving a bloody mess as he goes to Connie's car. Woody puts Connie in the truck, and puts the car on nutural and the car drives into a tar pit. Woody washes off the knife with water, and puts the knife, wig, and bathrobe back on the hat rack.
Scene 6:
Early in the morning, the day after Woody was now in a UPS uniform. He has a package and walks into the now bloodied motel room where he killed Connie.
Woody: Good morning. Special delivery for....
As Woody walked in, he sees the trail of the bloody mess he made killing Connie.
Woody (screams in horror): AAAAHHHHHH!!!! Mother killed you! What a (beep) bloody ass mess! That must've been some PMS she had!
Mrs. Johnson: WOODROW!
Woody: What now, mother?
Mrs. Johnson: What happened to that girl?
Woody: You killed her, that's what.
Mrs. Johnson: Only did it because I am tired of you protecting me and thinking people are after me.
Woody (angerly) Mother...
Mrs. Johnson: You need to let me go, Eric! Have to cut the apron strings sometime!
Woody: Tell you what. I'll clean up the mess.
Mrs. Johnson: You better. Or you'll be a high profile murder trial case.
Woody: Don't want to take that risk.
Mrs. Johnson's voice isn't heard in Woody's head afterwards as he struggles to clean up all the blood from when he murdered Connie. Then Woody had a epiphany.
Woody: Got it! I'll put the blame on mother! People will think she killed the residents that stay here, and I'll be totally off the hook!
Mrs. Johnson: Someone will find out you know....
Woody: Mother! Again with this...
Mrs. Johnson: You can pin it on me all you want, but you'll never hide from the truth!
Woody: The truth is you killed them. You have to take the rap for me, mother! As Monique once said in that movie Precious: Based On The Book By Sapphire, real women sacrifice!
Mrs. Johnson: No, the truth is you dress like me to kill them! You need to tell them soon Eric that I am dead and.....
Woody decides to ignore Mrs. Johnson's voice in his head thinking his plan to pin the murders on his mother will work. And then does a thorough cleaning on all the blood in the shower and motel room. Luck is on Woody's side for now.
Scene 7:
At the Woody Motel, the next day, Woody discovered that the blood stains weren't thoroughly cleaned as he once thought. Woody also had some blood stains on his pants, but didn't notice. So he hired a Mexican to clean the blood stains for him.
Woody: Clean harder than that, you damned immigrants!
Mexican Guy: Sorry, it's taking a while. Have to do it slow.
Woody: Get rid of those salsa stains, quick! I'm a motel clerk. I have a reputation to uphold!
Mexican Guy: But, senor!
Woody: Don't want anyone to think I'm sloppy! Clean faster than that you shithead Mexicans!
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, in the Brickleberry diner. Steve and Denzel were there to start a meeting about the Woody motel. All the kids came after they answered Steve's and Denzel's Facebook Ad. Even officers Firecracker Jim, Bobby, and Kuzinak showed up, too. Steve and Denzel had a projector to show them.
Steve: Settle down, settle down......
Denzel: Quiet everyone.
All the Brickleberry residents were now quiet. Ethel walks in at the last minute.
Ethel: Hi, guys.
Steve: Oh, Ethel. Glad you're here.
Denzel: Did you answer our Facebook Ad, too?
Ethel: I did. That's why I am here. My best friend Connie disappeared last night.
Denzel: Sit here. Heard about you. Some fine ass slut! Take a seat. We're about to begin.
Steve turns on the projector and it shows pictures of the Woody Motel.
Denzel: This is the Woody Motel.
Steve: That's right. It looks like you're typical Days Inn, or Hotel 6 but it's not.
Denzel: Anyone who enters, for some reason never returns. Like Tina Turner in Mad Max! Damn she was one hot motha!
Steve: Absolutely right. (presses a button): This is the picture of the person who runs the place. Woody Johnson.
The projector shows a picture of Woody Johnson.
Denzel: We have reason to believe that he gets paranoid about people going into secret room his mother is supposedly in. We even heard him screaming at his mother. He advised us to stay away.
Steve: That's right. We got curious, so we tried to go into the secret room, and Woody stopped us and kept asking us all sorts of questions.
Denzel: Before we knew it, we went back into our motel rooms, and we saw a cloaked figure. We were able to escape, but we think it killed Bodean!
Steve: We think that Woody was the figure who killed our friend!
Off. Bobby: Glad you brought this to our attention. I actually went into the Woody Motel and interrogated him by using a lie detector test.
Steve: How did it turn out?
Off. Bobby: It said he was telling the truth, it was almost as if he cheated the test!
All the kids in the diner say, "ooooooohhhhh".
Denzel: Not only that. Woodrow Woody is a racist, too. When we were there at the motel, he called me a filthy stinkin' Jew!
Steve: He hates hippies, too!
Ethel: You know, I think Connie might have gone there. She didn't tell me.
Steve: Well, what are we waiting for?
Denzel: I saw we go to the Woody Motel, and take down that insane fatass killer once and for all!
All the Brickleberry residents in the diner cheered as they marched toward the Woody Motel with torches and pitchforks.
Scene 8:
Back at the Woody Motel, he was relieved that the blood stains were gone.
Woody: Whew! Nobody will ever know. Guess immigrants are good for something after all! Cheap labor! (laughs) No wonder Trump wants to send them back where they came from!
A little while later, an angry mob is heard and is coming Woody's way.
Woody: What the (beep) is that?
The angry mob grows louder and louder as it heads towards Woody's direction.
Mrs. Johnson: I'm not taking the blame for this, Woodrow!
Woody: What the (beep) is going on?
Mrs. Johnson: They're after you, Woodrow! They found out it was you!
Woody: No they didn't! They'll think you did it!
Mrs. Johnson: You always say you're a man! Part of being a man is taking responsibility for your actions......
Woody: Why don't you shut up, you filthy bitch ass whore! Go into the kitchen and stay there, bitch!
Mrs. Johnson: I can't do nothing for you, Woodrow! You're on your own now!
Getting nervous and scared, Woody runs into another room, he takes off his pants he finally noticed there was blood on them.
Woody: Holy fuck! My pants are all bloody! Looks like I'm having a period! Not getting no stupid tampons! That's for sure!
On the side of the desk in the lobby. Woody finds another pair of pants He struggles to put on the clean pants, but the pants were too small for him.
Woody: Come on your stupid pair of pants! Get on me! Son of a bitch! BBBLLLLAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Getting frustrated, Woody takes off the pants and stabs the pants with a knife. Outside, the angry mob gathers around the tar pit where Connie's car is, and she was in the trunk. The walls seemed to be closing in on Woody.
Steve: Look, up ahead! A car in the tar pit!
Ethel: Oh, no! That's Connie's car! She was here. I recognize it. (sobbing) My best friend is dead.
Denzel: Afraid so, girlfriend. Wish we had better news for you. Connie did stay here after all.
Steve: Don't worry! We're going to get that fatass! He's going down!
Ethel: Please do! I want justice for my friend!
Off. Bobby: You better leave this to the professionals, Steve!
Steve: But.....we wanted the pleasure!
Off. Bobby: Might be too dangerous for your civilians!
Off. Kuzinak: Are we really going in? Anyone want some meds?
Off. Firecracker Jim: Yes we are! We're going to throw his fat ass in the slammer!
Denzel: Attention everyone. We're going to stay outside and let the cops do their job.
Crowd: Awwww....
Steve, Denzel, Ethel, and the angry mob remained outside and agreed to stay outside, as officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak broke in to confront Woody.
Scene 9:
Officers Bobby, Kuzinak, and Firecracker Jim broke into the lobby of the Woody Motel. Then they see the locked door and broke it down. They see a figure with a wig and a bathrobe and a rotting corpse sitting on a rocking chair.
Off. Kuzinak: This is the police! EEEEKKKKK!!!!
Off. Bobby: That was cool how we broke down that door. We did it Miami Vice style!
Off. Firecracker Jim: No time to be impressed with ourselves, let's get Woody!
Woody was in the wig and bathrobe and had his back turned.
Off. Kuzinak: Face us! You're in a lot of trouble! And I don't mean your prostate!
Woody turns around and screams when he sees officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak.
Off. Bobby: We know you were the one who killed Bodean McCormick and Connie.
Woody: No I didn't! Mother did!
Off. Firecracker Jim: You dress up like your mother and kill anyone becuase you're terrified that someone will find out your secret! Then you put the blame of the killings on her. What you don't know is, everyone in town knows she's already dead! You're the one who did the killings, not your mother!
Woody: No she isn't! She's very much alive!
Off. Kuzinak: She died of AIDS from being a whore! From what he heard!
Woody: You know.....you 5-0 guys are really beginning to make me mad!!
Off. Bobby: You're pissing us off by not admitting what you did!
Woody: Stay back! (wields a guitar)
Off. Firecracker Jim: Put down the guitar and come quietly and surrender.
Woody: Little do you know, I'm smart enough to run away from cops! Even the dumbass redneck ones!
Off. Firecracker Jim: Denzel Jackson said something about you being an ignorant prejudiced.
Woody: This is no ordinary guitar. It's my ultimate weapon!
Off. Firecracker Jim: Stop resisting and give in! You're too late!
Off. Bobby: Okay, grab him!
Off. Kuzinak: Here we go!
Officers Bobby, Kuzinak, and Firecracker Jim try to lunge at Woody, but fail. Woody bashes their skulls with the bass guitar. Officers Bobby, Kuzinak, and Firecracker Jim were all dead.
Woody (laughs evilly): Got all El Kabong on your asses! HA HA! Never mess with mother!
The TV in the other room was on. A Tom and Jerry cartoon was playing. A scene was playing where Jerry hit Tom over the head, and Jerry laughed. Woody thought Tom and Jerry were laughing at him.
Jerry (on TV): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Woody (screaming on top of his lungs): STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!!
Tommorow, the shocking conclusion!
Scene 10 Conclusion:
After Woody murdered Officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak, their heads were split open and their brains were exposed. He tries to make one last ditch effort to escape from the angry mob.
Woody: Aww, dammit! They're still after me! How the (beep) am I going to get away?
Outside of the Woody Motel, Steve and Denzel along with the angry mob were still protesting.
Steve: The cops should've been out of there by now!
Denzel: Could it be possible that Woody killed them?
Steve: Wouldn't put it past him.
Inside the lobby, Woody runs outside away from the angry mob and into the parking lot and runs into a car. But the car doesn't start up.
Woody: Come on! Start up! Start up! What kind of black mechanic made this car?
Ethel: Maybe we should go in there and look for him?
Steve: No, can't risk that, Ethel!
Denzel: He'd do anything to 'protect' his mother from us. We'd get killed too.
Ethel: What are we going to do?
Steve (gets a gun from his pocket): Take the law into our own hands, that's what!
Denzel (gets a gun from his pocket): We'll find our own justice!
Woody finally gets the car started and drives at fast speeds. Woody's plan was to make a clean getaway.
Ethel: Think I hear a car.
Woody: Must protect mother at all costs! (hits the gas pedal) They want mob mentality! I'll show them mob mentality!
The car Woody was driving runs over a speed bump causing him and the car to jump 6 feet into the air and over the Woody Motel and the angry mob.
Woody: YES YES YES!!! I'M FFFRRREEEEE!!!!!
Steve and Denzel shoot their guns at the car. The bullets hit the gas tank, and the car explodes into the air. The explosion makes Woody fly into the sky and land on a mountain.
Woody: (screaming unintelligibly)
Steve, Denzel, Ethel, and the angry mob cheered.
Ethel: We did it! We did it!
Denzel: Woody Johnson is no more!
Steve: What a happy day! He'll never kill anyone ever again.
Denzel: Would've prefered he went to prison....
Steve: Nah. That would not have done him no good.
Ethel: Some people are just better off dead. Woody is one of them. I'm just glad my best friend got some justice.
Denzel: Guess you're right. So, what do we do now?
Steve: I say we burn Woody Motel to the ground!
Crowd: YYEEESSS!!!!!
Denzel, Ethel, and Steve all get some gasoline and the mob used their torches to light the gas and start the fire. The Woody Motel was no more. They gave Mrs. Johnson Woody a proper burial. What they didn't know was, Woody actually survived. And was now in the Rocky Mountains.
2 weeks later.....
On top of the Rocky Mountains, Woodrow Woody was freezing in the snow. He was almost an icycle.
Woody (freezing): So (beeping) freezing up here...I will get mother back.... and I will strike again! (laughs evilly) MOTHER!!!!! MOTHER!!!!! MOTHER!!! I MISS YOU!!!!!! COME GET ME!!! IT'S SO C-C-C-C-C-COOOOLLLLLDDDD!!!!!!!
The next scene turns into an office with Malloy sitting on a chair drinking a martini.
Malloy: Uhhh. Poor old twisted fucked up Woody! Always knew he had an Oedipus complex. That's the price you pay for having a mother who used to beat religion into him. Hope you enjoyed our Brickleberry spoof of the Hitchcock movie, Psycho, here on Malloy's Horror Theater! Join us next week! If you dare!
THE END
Fanfic Title:
Psycho Woody Motel.
by: Trenton Sands
Scene 1:
The night was humid and muggy in Brickleberry. Under the bridge and around Hazelhurst, there was a mysterious motel called The Woody Motel. Two of it's residents Steve and Denzel were running away from the motel scared, and ran as far away as possible.
Steve: That was the scariest expirience of my life.
Denzel: We would've been better off staying at the Overlook hotel!
Steveding all frightened, Steve and Denzel both struggle to catch their breaths.
Steve: Holy shit, man! We barely made it.
Denzel: Sweet baby Jesus! Never want to stay here again.
Steve: They say whoever comes to the Woody Motel, never makes it out alive.
Denzel: Think maybe that motel clerk Woody had something to do with this?
Steve: Would not put it past him. He seemed weird to me!
Denzel: Yes, I would agree. While we were watching The Interview, all we heard was Woody screaming at his mother.
Steve: I know. (looks around) Oh, my God! We forgot about Bodean!
Denzel: Hate to tell you this, dude. But.....
Steve watches as Denzel pulls out Bodean's bloodied severed head out of his coat pocket.
Denzel: Afraid Bodean didn't make it! (screams at the Woody Motel): Try that again, muthafucka!
Steve: We're taking that asshole down!
Denzel: We'll talk to the police captain Molloy. He'll know what to do!
Steve and Denzel decide to run down the the police station to report what happened at the Woody Motel.
Scene 2:
Back at the Woody Motel. The motel clerk in charge. Woody is seen hanging up a wig of blond hair and a pink bathrobe with a bloody knife in it's pocket. Then Woody sits down and watches The Late Night Show With Jimmy Fallon.
Jimmy Fallon (on the TV): Did anyone hear Joe Biden called Turkey? He called Butterball Turkey!
The audience laughs as does Woody.
Woody: This is super hilarious!
A woman's voice is heard that startles Woody. It was the voice of his mother Mrs. Johnson Woody. Mrs. Johnson Woody is really dead, but Woody hears her voice and believes she's still alive.
Mrs. Johnson: WOODROW!
Woody (screams in fear): Son of a bitch! Yes, coming Mother!
Mrs. Johnson: What did you do those residents that were here?
Woody: Nothing, mother! Took care of them is all! Need I remind you not to bother me when I'm watching Jimmy Fallon?!
Mrs. Johnson: That's always your excuse! Don't you know you running our residents out of our motel is costing us business?
Woody (trying to convince): But, mother! You told me it was the recession and it was all President Obama's fault.....Not mine!
Mrs. Johnson: I'm starting to think it IS your fault! No matter who comes near you, ends up missing!
Woody: Stop blaming me. Just trying to protect you and our secret...
Mrs. Johnson: What secret?
Woody: From people learning the truth that you're really dead? Had to get rid of them. One of them was a Black!
Mrs. Johnson: Stop being racist! What happened to those Steve, Denzel, and Bodean people! And where's Bodean?
Woody still continues to scream.
Mrs. Johnson: All right. Sorry about that. Guess I'm frustrated trying to make this motel a tourist attraction. Should know you have a tendency to be paranoid. How about I play your favorite song?
Woody: I'd love that very much, mother.
A piano song is heard. The song that is playing is Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. Woody sings along.
Woody (singing): Mr Sandman! Bring Me a Dream! Make him the cutest that I've ever seen.....
The piano was really playing by itself. Mrs. Johnson unknown to Woody is now a rotting corpse sitting on a rocking chair. Woody is posessive of her.
Scene 3:
At the Brickleberry police station, Steve and Denzel wait for the police to show up.
Steve: Sure hope these cops can help us dude.
Denzel: He should be here. What the (beep) is taking so long?
Steve: You know how small town policemen are.
Denzel: This sure ain't (beep)ing Mayberry dude.
Officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak all come out of the office to greet Steve and Denzel.
Off. Bobby: Hey, there. What can I do you for?
Steve: Are you familiar with the Woody Motel?
Off. Firecracker Jim: We get a lot of reports about residents there going missing.
Denzel: Good, you heard of it. We were staying there and our friend Bodeangot killed there.
Steve: We still have his severed head.
Denzel shows the officers Bodean's severed head.
Off. Kuzniak. Murder! Doesn't sound good. Not good at all.
Steve: Also, while we were there, we saw this mysterious motel clerk Woody, who seemed odd to us.
Off. Firecracker Jim: Go on, please.
Steve: Funny thing is, he kept inquisiting us about why we were there....
Denzel: We told him we were on business. Which we were. We're from Detroit, yo!
Steve: Woody kept advising us to stay away from his mother.... Like he was insanely paranoid.
Denzel: Then we got curious...
Steve: We went to look for his mother, and discovered she was dead.
Denzel: The whole time we were there, all he did was scream at his dead mother. That's what made us look for her in the first place.
Steve: Yeah! Indeed We couldn't even watch movies Woody screamed so loud!
Off. Bobby: How long were you there?
Steve: We just wanted to stay the weekend.
Denzel: Once we found out his mother was really dead, then we saw this fat assed figure chase us around. Next thing we knew, he was trying to stab us with a machete!
Off. Bobby: Okay, go on!
Steve: Me and Denzel run away as fast as we could. I ran away first....
Denzel: Took me a while to catch up to Steve, and I saw Bodean get stabbed. Nothing I could've done to help him and.....
Off. Bobby: All right. You told us everything we needed to know. I'm going to the Woody Motel to put him under a lie detector test.
Steve: Thanks so much, dude!
Denzel: In the meantime, we're starting a revolt against that fat mother (beep)er!
Off. Bobby: If he's guilty, we'll arrest him! Go now.
Off. Firecracker Jim: Leave everything to us.
Off. Kuzinak: You better let me handle this first. I'll go alone and then I'll call you and Bobby for backup.
Off. Bobby: Why do you always stay behind for backup?
Off. Firecracker Jim (scoffs): I think what he really means is 'black'-up. Leave us behind so he can do all the work, and at the last minute...BOOM! Send us to get killed.....
Off. Bobby: You guys do your part in helping me with crimes. And don't quote 'Against The Ropes' to me, Token. That movie was pure shit!
Off. Firecracker Jim (exasperated): All right, sorry. (walking off) Never get any glory, anyway.....
Steve and Denzel walk out of the police station and go to a diner. Steve and Denzel decide to go on Facebook and tell everyone in Brickleberry to meet them at the diner.
Scene 4:
Off. Bobby arrives at the Woody Motel to interrogate the deranaged man. Just then, Woody looks out the enterance lobby window and panics.
Woody (screams): Son of a bitch! They're onto me! It's the 5-0! Mother!
Off. Bobby knocks on the door and brings a lie detector test with him.
Woody: Stay away from me!
Off. Bobby: Open up! It's the police!
Woody: Never! You're after my mother!
Off. Bobby: No, I'm not. Just want to ask you a few questions....
Woody: Go to hell you filthy stinky, mother....
Off. Bobby: If you don't open up, I'll use execessive force!
Woody squeals in fear and gives in, and lets Off. Bobby into the motel.
Off. Bobby (laughs): Gets 'em all the time.
Woody: What the (beep) do you want copper?
Off. Bobby: Just want to ask you a few questions about your residents.
Woody: What residents?
Off. Bobby: Don't give me that bullshit, Woody! You know who I mean. Steve Williams, Denzel Jackson, and Bodean. They believe you killed Bodean and tried to kill them all because you're so paranoid they're going to get after your mother! You even dressed like her, too.
Woody: What's your game, copper?
Off. Bobby: Just want to put you under a lie detector test is all.
Woody: You know what? Go ahead! I'll take your stupid ass test! And if it all comes out that I am telling the truth, I'll say, 'screw you'!
Off. Bobby: Whatever. Just let me hook you up.
Woody lets Off. Bobby hook him up the the lie detector test and asks him questions about Bodean's death, and the attempted murder of Steve and Denzel.
Off. Bobby: Did you let Steve and Denzel stay at your motel?
Woody: Yes.
The lie detector test ping and a green light is lit meaning 'truth'.
Off. Bobby: Is it true that you kept interrogating them about why they were there? And advised them to stay away from your mother?
Woody: No.
The lie detector test pinged again and the green light lit again.
Off. Bobby: Is it true you went out of your mind that Steve and Denzel were going to discover your mother?
Woody: No.
The lie detector test pinged again and the green light lit again.
Off. Bobby: And is it true that you dressed in your mother's wig and bathroom, and stabbed Bodean to death?
Woody grew angrier and angrier by the minute. The lie detector test started to go faster.
Off. Bobby: Answer the question?!?!?! Did you...
Woody (angerly snarls): EEERRRRRRRR!!!!
Off. Bobby: Come on! Make this easy on yourself. Did you......
Woody (angerly snarls some more): EEEERRRRRRR!!!!
Off. Bobby: So, did you....
Woody: What the (beep) is this? Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? No, I had nothing to do with Bodean McCormick's murder!
The lie detector test pinged the green light again. Woody as cheated the lie detector test.
Off. Bobby: Okay, it all comes out that you were telling the truth!
Woody: Good! Ha! I proved you wrong! Now get the (beep) out of hee-yah, and go (beep) yourself, copper!
Off. Bobby: Hey! That is no way to speak to a commanding officer...
Woody: You should've thought about that before you suspected me. I'll talk to people however I want!
Off. Bobby: Next time you're a suspect, I just might become like Christopher Meloni with you. Might not be so nice!
Woody (being freed from the lie detector test by Off. Bobby): Law and Order SUV reference, eh? Weak!
Off. Bobby (walking out the door): You're off the hook for now. See you soon.
Woody watches as Off. Bobby unhooks the lie detector test and walks back to his car and back to the police station.
Off. Bobby (drives back): What an asshole. Never dealt with anyone like THAT before.
Woody is relieved and goes into the room where his dead mother is.
Mrs. Johnson: Eric! You cheated a lie detector test. How did you do it?
Woody: Never mind. That's not important right now.
Mrs. Johnson: They're suspecting you, sweetheart. It's serious. We need to talk. You know you killed Bodean, and if you wind up......
Woody: Don't want to talk about it, fucking shit! Let's think of something else we can do! Say, how about we have a dance, mother?
Mrs. Johnson: Like we used to when you were little? Sure we can.
Woody turns on an MP3 player and Bobby Darin's 'Dream Lover' plays. Woody picks up Mrs. Johnson and starts to dance with his dead mother.
Scene 5:
The next day, a car rides up to the Woody motel. A fat redhead woman is running scared towards the front door that leads to the lobby. Her name was Connie. She slams on the doors with her fists.
Connie: Please! Someone help me! I need some place to hide!
Woody: Oh, shit! What now? More cops?
Mrs. Johnson: Answer the door, poopiekins! We need more business!
Woody mumbles obscenities under his breath as he answers the door. He sees Connie and lets her in.
Connie: Thank you so much for this.
Woody: Why do you need to stay here?
Connie: My husband Craig and I owe back taxes to the IRS. We were getting away, but he jumped off a cliff. Then I came here.
Woody: Okay, come in! But stay away from the room my mother is in? Got it? Caught unholy hell for it!
Connie: All right.
Woody lead Connie into a small motel room, Connie stays there thoughout the day. That following night, Connie explores the Woody Motel. She sees a secret door that lead to where Mrs. Johnson was. Little does she know, Woody was secretly wacthing her. To stop her, Woody knows a whipper snapper in her direction. Woody decides to question Connie then give her a warning.
Connie (screams in surprise): Ahhhh! Holy shit.....(walking around) Hello. (runs into Woody face to face) What do you want? Do you play pranks on your residents here?
Woody: No we don't. What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be in your room!
Connie: I could not sleep. Just wanted to explore to tire myself out.
Woody: Likely story. You're really curious, aren't you?
Connie: Well......
Woody: Shut up! Don't follow rules that well, I see. No wonder the IRS is after you!
Connie: How dare you...
Woody: How dare YOU! Don't you ever watch horror movies? Whenever someone goes into a place they're not supposed to go, they get killed!
Connie: Not all horror movie are like that. Ever seen Paranormal Activity?
Woody: Don't you interupt me when I am trying to talk to you...
Connie: My mistake, sorry. Are you saying.....
Woody: There's been lots of rumors about the Woody Motel. That anyone who enters is never seen again....
Connie: Oh, no, this doesn't sound good....
Woody (yelling): Who's doing the talking here?
Connie: Why you, of course.
Woody: Good. Those rumors are false. Nothing bad EVER happens here! Got it!
Connie: OKay! I get you.
Woody: Now for as long as you stay here, you don't need to check out that room in, they-yah! Got it!
Connie: You're right. I was wrong to do so.
Woody: Good. Now go back to your room.
Connie: Going back now. I am going to take a shower. Don't mind me. I am a nervous wreck about the taxes I have to pay.
Woody: Shut up! Don't need to hear your (beep)ing life story! Go now. I hate long goodbyes!
Then Connie goes back to her motel room, and takes a shower. Connie enjoys her shower as she cleans herself. Woody then goes to a coat rack, dresses like his mother. Woody gets the wig, bathrobe, and the bloodied knife he used to kill Bodean the day before. Once Connie is in the shower, Woody sneaks into her room. He uses a hairpin to unlock the door to Connie's motel room. Then Woody secretly goes into the bathroom and turns out the lights.
Connie: What the hell is going on? Who turned out the lights?
Woody pulls out the knife and maliciously attacks Connie. She screams in pain, and Woody stabs her until she's a bloody mess. Connie was dead. Then to cover up the crime, Woody gets a blanket and wraps Connie's dead corpse inside leaving a bloody mess as he goes to Connie's car. Woody puts Connie in the truck, and puts the car on nutural and the car drives into a tar pit. Woody washes off the knife with water, and puts the knife, wig, and bathrobe back on the hat rack.
Scene 6:
Early in the morning, the day after Woody was now in a UPS uniform. He has a package and walks into the now bloodied motel room where he killed Connie.
Woody: Good morning. Special delivery for....
As Woody walked in, he sees the trail of the bloody mess he made killing Connie.
Woody (screams in horror): AAAAHHHHHH!!!! Mother killed you! What a (beep) bloody ass mess! That must've been some PMS she had!
Mrs. Johnson: WOODROW!
Woody: What now, mother?
Mrs. Johnson: What happened to that girl?
Woody: You killed her, that's what.
Mrs. Johnson: Only did it because I am tired of you protecting me and thinking people are after me.
Woody (angerly) Mother...
Mrs. Johnson: You need to let me go, Eric! Have to cut the apron strings sometime!
Woody: Tell you what. I'll clean up the mess.
Mrs. Johnson: You better. Or you'll be a high profile murder trial case.
Woody: Don't want to take that risk.
Mrs. Johnson's voice isn't heard in Woody's head afterwards as he struggles to clean up all the blood from when he murdered Connie. Then Woody had a epiphany.
Woody: Got it! I'll put the blame on mother! People will think she killed the residents that stay here, and I'll be totally off the hook!
Mrs. Johnson: Someone will find out you know....
Woody: Mother! Again with this...
Mrs. Johnson: You can pin it on me all you want, but you'll never hide from the truth!
Woody: The truth is you killed them. You have to take the rap for me, mother! As Monique once said in that movie Precious: Based On The Book By Sapphire, real women sacrifice!
Mrs. Johnson: No, the truth is you dress like me to kill them! You need to tell them soon Eric that I am dead and.....
Woody decides to ignore Mrs. Johnson's voice in his head thinking his plan to pin the murders on his mother will work. And then does a thorough cleaning on all the blood in the shower and motel room. Luck is on Woody's side for now.
Scene 7:
At the Woody Motel, the next day, Woody discovered that the blood stains weren't thoroughly cleaned as he once thought. Woody also had some blood stains on his pants, but didn't notice. So he hired a Mexican to clean the blood stains for him.
Woody: Clean harder than that, you damned immigrants!
Mexican Guy: Sorry, it's taking a while. Have to do it slow.
Woody: Get rid of those salsa stains, quick! I'm a motel clerk. I have a reputation to uphold!
Mexican Guy: But, senor!
Woody: Don't want anyone to think I'm sloppy! Clean faster than that you shithead Mexicans!
Meanwhile, on the other side of town, in the Brickleberry diner. Steve and Denzel were there to start a meeting about the Woody motel. All the kids came after they answered Steve's and Denzel's Facebook Ad. Even officers Firecracker Jim, Bobby, and Kuzinak showed up, too. Steve and Denzel had a projector to show them.
Steve: Settle down, settle down......
Denzel: Quiet everyone.
All the Brickleberry residents were now quiet. Ethel walks in at the last minute.
Ethel: Hi, guys.
Steve: Oh, Ethel. Glad you're here.
Denzel: Did you answer our Facebook Ad, too?
Ethel: I did. That's why I am here. My best friend Connie disappeared last night.
Denzel: Sit here. Heard about you. Some fine ass slut! Take a seat. We're about to begin.
Steve turns on the projector and it shows pictures of the Woody Motel.
Denzel: This is the Woody Motel.
Steve: That's right. It looks like you're typical Days Inn, or Hotel 6 but it's not.
Denzel: Anyone who enters, for some reason never returns. Like Tina Turner in Mad Max! Damn she was one hot motha!
Steve: Absolutely right. (presses a button): This is the picture of the person who runs the place. Woody Johnson.
The projector shows a picture of Woody Johnson.
Denzel: We have reason to believe that he gets paranoid about people going into secret room his mother is supposedly in. We even heard him screaming at his mother. He advised us to stay away.
Steve: That's right. We got curious, so we tried to go into the secret room, and Woody stopped us and kept asking us all sorts of questions.
Denzel: Before we knew it, we went back into our motel rooms, and we saw a cloaked figure. We were able to escape, but we think it killed Bodean!
Steve: We think that Woody was the figure who killed our friend!
Off. Bobby: Glad you brought this to our attention. I actually went into the Woody Motel and interrogated him by using a lie detector test.
Steve: How did it turn out?
Off. Bobby: It said he was telling the truth, it was almost as if he cheated the test!
All the kids in the diner say, "ooooooohhhhh".
Denzel: Not only that. Woodrow Woody is a racist, too. When we were there at the motel, he called me a filthy stinkin' Jew!
Steve: He hates hippies, too!
Ethel: You know, I think Connie might have gone there. She didn't tell me.
Steve: Well, what are we waiting for?
Denzel: I saw we go to the Woody Motel, and take down that insane fatass killer once and for all!
All the Brickleberry residents in the diner cheered as they marched toward the Woody Motel with torches and pitchforks.
Scene 8:
Back at the Woody Motel, he was relieved that the blood stains were gone.
Woody: Whew! Nobody will ever know. Guess immigrants are good for something after all! Cheap labor! (laughs) No wonder Trump wants to send them back where they came from!
A little while later, an angry mob is heard and is coming Woody's way.
Woody: What the (beep) is that?
The angry mob grows louder and louder as it heads towards Woody's direction.
Mrs. Johnson: I'm not taking the blame for this, Woodrow!
Woody: What the (beep) is going on?
Mrs. Johnson: They're after you, Woodrow! They found out it was you!
Woody: No they didn't! They'll think you did it!
Mrs. Johnson: You always say you're a man! Part of being a man is taking responsibility for your actions......
Woody: Why don't you shut up, you filthy bitch ass whore! Go into the kitchen and stay there, bitch!
Mrs. Johnson: I can't do nothing for you, Woodrow! You're on your own now!
Getting nervous and scared, Woody runs into another room, he takes off his pants he finally noticed there was blood on them.
Woody: Holy fuck! My pants are all bloody! Looks like I'm having a period! Not getting no stupid tampons! That's for sure!
On the side of the desk in the lobby. Woody finds another pair of pants He struggles to put on the clean pants, but the pants were too small for him.
Woody: Come on your stupid pair of pants! Get on me! Son of a bitch! BBBLLLLAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Getting frustrated, Woody takes off the pants and stabs the pants with a knife. Outside, the angry mob gathers around the tar pit where Connie's car is, and she was in the trunk. The walls seemed to be closing in on Woody.
Steve: Look, up ahead! A car in the tar pit!
Ethel: Oh, no! That's Connie's car! She was here. I recognize it. (sobbing) My best friend is dead.
Denzel: Afraid so, girlfriend. Wish we had better news for you. Connie did stay here after all.
Steve: Don't worry! We're going to get that fatass! He's going down!
Ethel: Please do! I want justice for my friend!
Off. Bobby: You better leave this to the professionals, Steve!
Steve: But.....we wanted the pleasure!
Off. Bobby: Might be too dangerous for your civilians!
Off. Kuzinak: Are we really going in? Anyone want some meds?
Off. Firecracker Jim: Yes we are! We're going to throw his fat ass in the slammer!
Denzel: Attention everyone. We're going to stay outside and let the cops do their job.
Crowd: Awwww....
Steve, Denzel, Ethel, and the angry mob remained outside and agreed to stay outside, as officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak broke in to confront Woody.
Scene 9:
Officers Bobby, Kuzinak, and Firecracker Jim broke into the lobby of the Woody Motel. Then they see the locked door and broke it down. They see a figure with a wig and a bathrobe and a rotting corpse sitting on a rocking chair.
Off. Kuzinak: This is the police! EEEEKKKKK!!!!
Off. Bobby: That was cool how we broke down that door. We did it Miami Vice style!
Off. Firecracker Jim: No time to be impressed with ourselves, let's get Woody!
Woody was in the wig and bathrobe and had his back turned.
Off. Kuzinak: Face us! You're in a lot of trouble! And I don't mean your prostate!
Woody turns around and screams when he sees officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak.
Off. Bobby: We know you were the one who killed Bodean McCormick and Connie.
Woody: No I didn't! Mother did!
Off. Firecracker Jim: You dress up like your mother and kill anyone becuase you're terrified that someone will find out your secret! Then you put the blame of the killings on her. What you don't know is, everyone in town knows she's already dead! You're the one who did the killings, not your mother!
Woody: No she isn't! She's very much alive!
Off. Kuzinak: She died of AIDS from being a whore! From what he heard!
Woody: You know.....you 5-0 guys are really beginning to make me mad!!
Off. Bobby: You're pissing us off by not admitting what you did!
Woody: Stay back! (wields a guitar)
Off. Firecracker Jim: Put down the guitar and come quietly and surrender.
Woody: Little do you know, I'm smart enough to run away from cops! Even the dumbass redneck ones!
Off. Firecracker Jim: Denzel Jackson said something about you being an ignorant prejudiced.
Woody: This is no ordinary guitar. It's my ultimate weapon!
Off. Firecracker Jim: Stop resisting and give in! You're too late!
Off. Bobby: Okay, grab him!
Off. Kuzinak: Here we go!
Officers Bobby, Kuzinak, and Firecracker Jim try to lunge at Woody, but fail. Woody bashes their skulls with the bass guitar. Officers Bobby, Kuzinak, and Firecracker Jim were all dead.
Woody (laughs evilly): Got all El Kabong on your asses! HA HA! Never mess with mother!
The TV in the other room was on. A Tom and Jerry cartoon was playing. A scene was playing where Jerry hit Tom over the head, and Jerry laughed. Woody thought Tom and Jerry were laughing at him.
Jerry (on TV): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Woody (screaming on top of his lungs): STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!!
Tommorow, the shocking conclusion!
Scene 10 Conclusion:
After Woody murdered Officers Bobby, Firecracker Jim, and Kuzinak, their heads were split open and their brains were exposed. He tries to make one last ditch effort to escape from the angry mob.
Woody: Aww, dammit! They're still after me! How the (beep) am I going to get away?
Outside of the Woody Motel, Steve and Denzel along with the angry mob were still protesting.
Steve: The cops should've been out of there by now!
Denzel: Could it be possible that Woody killed them?
Steve: Wouldn't put it past him.
Inside the lobby, Woody runs outside away from the angry mob and into the parking lot and runs into a car. But the car doesn't start up.
Woody: Come on! Start up! Start up! What kind of black mechanic made this car?
Ethel: Maybe we should go in there and look for him?
Steve: No, can't risk that, Ethel!
Denzel: He'd do anything to 'protect' his mother from us. We'd get killed too.
Ethel: What are we going to do?
Steve (gets a gun from his pocket): Take the law into our own hands, that's what!
Denzel (gets a gun from his pocket): We'll find our own justice!
Woody finally gets the car started and drives at fast speeds. Woody's plan was to make a clean getaway.
Ethel: Think I hear a car.
Woody: Must protect mother at all costs! (hits the gas pedal) They want mob mentality! I'll show them mob mentality!
The car Woody was driving runs over a speed bump causing him and the car to jump 6 feet into the air and over the Woody Motel and the angry mob.
Woody: YES YES YES!!! I'M FFFRRREEEEE!!!!!
Steve and Denzel shoot their guns at the car. The bullets hit the gas tank, and the car explodes into the air. The explosion makes Woody fly into the sky and land on a mountain.
Woody: (screaming unintelligibly)
Steve, Denzel, Ethel, and the angry mob cheered.
Ethel: We did it! We did it!
Denzel: Woody Johnson is no more!
Steve: What a happy day! He'll never kill anyone ever again.
Denzel: Would've prefered he went to prison....
Steve: Nah. That would not have done him no good.
Ethel: Some people are just better off dead. Woody is one of them. I'm just glad my best friend got some justice.
Denzel: Guess you're right. So, what do we do now?
Steve: I say we burn Woody Motel to the ground!
Crowd: YYEEESSS!!!!!
Denzel, Ethel, and Steve all get some gasoline and the mob used their torches to light the gas and start the fire. The Woody Motel was no more. They gave Mrs. Johnson Woody a proper burial. What they didn't know was, Woody actually survived. And was now in the Rocky Mountains.
2 weeks later.....
On top of the Rocky Mountains, Woodrow Woody was freezing in the snow. He was almost an icycle.
Woody (freezing): So (beeping) freezing up here...I will get mother back.... and I will strike again! (laughs evilly) MOTHER!!!!! MOTHER!!!!! MOTHER!!! I MISS YOU!!!!!! COME GET ME!!! IT'S SO C-C-C-C-C-COOOOLLLLLDDDD!!!!!!!
The next scene turns into an office with Malloy sitting on a chair drinking a martini.
Malloy: Uhhh. Poor old twisted fucked up Woody! Always knew he had an Oedipus complex. That's the price you pay for having a mother who used to beat religion into him. Hope you enjoyed our Brickleberry spoof of the Hitchcock movie, Psycho, here on Malloy's Horror Theater! Join us next week! If you dare!
THE END
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