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The knowledge that Levi had killed two of his friends ate away at Eren for the next couple of days. Friends... were they really? The way Levi had put it made so much sense in its own sick, twisted way. Eren couldn't help but think he must be twisted too because he thought it made some sort of sense, and he kept finding solace in Levi's touches and presence. While definitely unstable and probably insane, the captain still seemed to understand that the killing still hurt his lover and gave him plenty affection to try and make up for it. Not that anything should make Eren feel better about his boyfriend killing his friends, but nonetheless, it helped for some twisted reason.

But still, the facts didn't change - Levi had blood on his hands and didn't regret a single second of it. If anything, he seemed to have enjoyed it. But rather than be intimidated, Eren found himself seeing Levi in a pitiful light. His intentions were good, though the path to Hell was paved with good intentions; he truly thought he was helping his and Eren's relationship by getting rid of the threats to Eren. The brunet didn't know whether or not Levi understood the extent of the evil he was doing. It seemed as though he didn't fully comprehend how precious a life was if he was able to end one so easily, let alone two.

He had a psychopath for a boyfriend. But he couldn't do anything. Levi had made himself very clear: even if Eren wanted to tell someone, Levi wouldn't let him. Unless Eren wanted blood on his hands, he couldn't tell a soul. He knew that with Levi's background, he was desensitized to killing, and was more than capable of killing even his best friends and the toughest people in the Corps.

Because Levi didn't have friends, Eren realized. The only one he cared for was the titan shifter. He didn't care for Erwin, Hanji, Mike, not even his squad. That was why he'd been so indifferent about their deaths. The only people he'd loved before Eren were his old friends Farlan and Isabel. Their deaths had to have affected his mental state. Made him snap, even if he didn't realize it. He might not have even noticed until recently. Now that he had another person to love and protect, his abused metaphorical heart that had taken too much strain refused to let go this time. He couldn't handle losing someone else.

It all clicked in Eren's brain, made so much sense so suddenly that he stopped walking and Jean promptly ran into him.

"Yo, what the hell, bastard?! What's the holdup?!"

Eren quickly shook his head, clearing his thoughts and paving the way for anger at his fellow soldier. He turned around, arms keeping a secure hold around the boxes that held his blade refills. "Don't neigh so loudly, Horseface," he shot back. "Calm your shit."

"You're holding everyone up," Jean scowled.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died? I was checking my blades, jeez!"

"Checking them for what, Jaeger? It can wait!"

Eren whirled around, glaring at Jean indignantly. The other teen looked livid, and Eren just couldn't understand why. "Alright, seriously, man. Why are you so pissy today?"

"I'unno, maybe because two of our good friends died, and Captain Levi's been pushing us like a fucking slave driver!" Jean shouted. Eren was about to retort that it wasn't his fault when the horsefaced boy continued, "Even you! Or are you just too dumb to notice anything that's going on around you?!"

"I -"

Eren cut himself off, looking around them. Curious faces watched the scene with wide eyes, soldiers circling them and waiting for the inevitable brawl. He hadn't even noticed, but he remembered how much longer they'd been outside than normal. Usually when it rained Levi would usher them inside after an hour, giving them enough time to learn and absorb how to train in harsh weather, but not long enough for something bad to happen. But today they'd been out there for several hours, and Levi's harsh, biting comments rang in everyone's ears. Eren had just been too deep in thought to notice.

"We're all upset!" Eren's glare deepened. "But you're the only one acting like this!"

"Oh, I'm sorry I can't just be all perfectly unfazed and happy!" Jean retorted. He pointed an accusing finger at Eren, jabbing it into his chest harshly. "You're too busy living in a happy little world of your own where everything is just hunky-dory! What do you care that your friends died?! Can you even call them your friends?!"

Eren's jaw dropped. He grabbed Jean's wrist and pushed it away, carelessly dropping his blade refills in favor of getting up in the other boy's face. "How dare you! You don't have the right to say anything! Do you really think I'm okay with all this?!" His voice was escalating with his temper. "You didn't find Reiner! Didn't see his body!" He was screaming now, shaking Jean violently by the shoulders. "You weren't there when Bertholdt died!"

Jean grabbed his forearms, effectively halting all movement as he spat venomously, "You're right, I wasn't. No one was. No one but you, right?"

A few gasps issued from the crowd. Eren's eyes went wide. "You think I did it?!" he shouted indignantly, eyes widening. He immediately felt angry tears pricking at his eyes. How could Jean accuse him of such a thing when he'd been so very upset over it?!

"All evidence points to you!" Jean bared his teeth in a snarl. "Everyone else might think you're some poor victim, but -"

He was cut off when Eren decked him, and blood spurted from his nose. He was startled at first, but he quickly rebounded, tackling Eren to the floor. They rolled around on the floor, each constantly trying to overtake the other over the barrage of fists. Jean managed to pin Eren, mercilessly pounding into the brunet's face and making pain blossom under his skin. Eren threw his hands up defensively, trying to push Jean off, but the boy was bigger and heavier, and all of Eren's effort was going into protecting his face.

Suddenly the attack stopped and he was being pulled to his feet by the collar of his uniform.

"Oi, hold him back, would you?! You alright there, Jaeger?"

Eren's vision was hazy when he blinked his eyes open. His entire face ached. He squinted at Jean, who was being held back by squad leader Dita Ness as he struggled to lunge at Eren again. Mike's scruffy face came into view, looking concerned.

"Can you hear me, Jaeger?"

"Hn...? Yeah." Eren nodded vaguely. His adrenaline rush was fading away, and he found out that his cheeks were wet. Was he crying? It wasn't sticky like blood -

"Jaeger, Kirschstein, asses front and center right this fucking second!"

Mike and Dita kept a close eye on the duo as they scrambled to stand in front of Captain Levi. They both threw up salutes, though Eren winced with pain when he did. Levi looked furious, eyes burning with a rage Eren had never seen before, and he tried and failed not to shiver when that gaze fixed on him.

"What the fuck happened here?!" he snarled, arms crossed.

"I think Jaeger -"

"Jean just attacked -"

"Rhetorical question, you fucking idiots!" Levi practically roared, effectively shutting them up. Levi was far beyond any level of anger anybody in the Survey Corps had ever seen him. "Never in my years here have I ever thought something like this would ever, could ever spring up among my men! There is a difference between a simple fist fight over an argument and trying to fucking kill each other! We do not attack our comrades! Am I fucking clear?!"

"Yes, sir!" Eren and Jean both burst out with. Eren's heart raced. He'd never been at the receiving end of Levi's fury, and this was beyond anything he'd ever even heard of.

Levi looked between them for a moment before focusing on Eren's face, which was quickly bruising. "It seems you did damage to Jaeger's face," he mused, quieter now, which only terrified the two more, because he hadn't calmed down, they knew. "An eye for an eye, hmm? So, for beating him down when he didn't have a chance to fight back, I'm giving him the opportunity to hit you back. One good punch. Sounds fair, doesn't it? Especially since you accused him of murder."

Mike and Dita both nodded. "It's what Shadis would have done," Dita said solemnly.

"And you're not going to object, are you, Kirschstein?"

Jean obviously objected, but he couldn't manage anything verbal. He lowered his head, gritting his teeth. "No, sir."

"And why not?"

"Because I deserve it, sir," Jean ground out.

Levi nodded once, then gestured to Eren. "Make it count, Jaeger."

Eren dropped his salute, hands going by his side. Jean's eyes were locked on his, defiantly waiting for his punishment as the people surrounding them held their breath. For a moment, anger burned in Eren and he wanted to do it. Wanted to get revenge.

What am I thinking?

When had he become this angry? Just a minute or so before, he was fearing for his life, thinking Jean wasn't going to stop punching him until he stopped moving. Then he was relieved, because Mike had come to his rescue, then scared when Levi had come in. Eren's rage deflated just like that. He didn't want revenge on Jean. Jean was scared and not thinking straight. Eren beating him while he wasn't allowed to fight back wasn't going to help the taller boy's suspicions. They shouldn't be fighting.

"I... I don't want to, sir."

"Excuse me?"

Eren flinched at the words, though was relieved that the tone wasn't angry. Levi sounded slightly intrigued. Eren clenched his hands into fists. "Hitting him when he can't fight back won't fix anything. I'm not going to do it." He paused and threw in quickly, "Sir."

There was a pause, and Jean looked shocked. Finally Levi said, "Very well." Before either boy could do or say anything, their heads collided painfully as Levi slapped them together none too gently. "You're both fucking idiots. I expect you both in my office tomorrow morning so I can assign you punishments, are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," they both mumbled.

"Good. Dita, go get him cleaned up. Jaeger, you're coming with me to Hanji."

Before Eren could say anything the corporal was tugging on his ear, pulling him along. The brunet cried out slightly, forced to follow the short raven's quick pace to avoid his ear being pulled any harder. They rounded a corner with Eren stumbling, an undignified squawk leaving his lips.

"C-Captain, could you let go?"

Levi consented, releasing the tender appendage. Eren started to straighten up, rubbing his red ear and opening his mouth to complain, but suddenly Levi was rounding on him and pushing him against the nearest wall. A squeak tumbled from Eren's mouth, his voice quickly silencing at the sight of Levi's narrowed eyes. He looked absolutely furious, eyes narrowed and mouth set in a deep frown. Eren was scared to breathe or blink.

And then Levi's mouth was on his, and Eren struggled to keep up with the sudden intensity of the hungry kiss. Before Eren could fully immerse himself in the act, Levi grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled the brunet's head back, exposing his throat and earning a grunt. He trailed harsh bites down the sensitive skin, Eren whining softly at the rough treatment.

"I am so fucking pissed at you," Levi growled into the crook of Eren's neck, leaving a harsh bite there before jerking Eren's head back to where he could look at him. "Do you have any idea how worried I was when I heard that commotion? Huh?! I have been tasked with making sure your stupid ass doesn't get into any trouble! Do you have any clue what this will look like to the MPs?!"

It was all a cover that Eren could see right through. Maybe a few weeks ago it would have been difficult, but now Levi was transparent to him. He grinned cheekily. "Aww. Corporal was scared for me."

Levi cuffed him over the head and released him, starting down the hallway. "Shut the hell up, brat. To Hanji's."

"Yes, sir."

.-.-.-.-.

Jean hasn't spoken to me. Our friends have tried to talk to me, but I haven't told them anything, really. I don't really know anything about the situation myself.

What exactly happened there? Why did he get so hostile? Why was I so violent afterwards? I usually calm down fairly well.

Levi's getting more and more overprotective. I should be scared of him, but I can't be. He's just so sweet to me. I don't get it. How can he be so aggressive and scary one second, psychopathic another, and so super nice and caring the next?

I know this is wrong. I should turn him in. I keep telling myself it's because he's skilled enough to kill everyone I tell with no evidence it was him, which is true, but I know the truth. I can't keep fooling myself. I'm in too deep. Maybe I'm crazy too.

Because I'm so in love with him that these deaths are starting to seem trivial.