FicWad

"Come on Kat! You said you would tell me!" Charlotte stares at the top of my head as I continue to stare at the ground.

"I know," is all I can manage out. I finally find more courage. "And I will. It's- Just not the easiest thing to say."

"Do we need to play that guessing game again?" Charlotte asks, looking up at me with her blue eyes. She is referring to last year by her question. Last year, I was afraid to tell her that I had depression and was self-harming. So, we played a little game where she guessed the letters and I said yes or no. It was sort of like hang man.

"No!" I say. I never liked that game.

"Is it about the same thing as last year?" She asks.

It is. "Kind of."

"Then just tell me."

"I can't."

"Kat, pull up your sleeves."

"No!" I panic. She can't see the new marks on my arms. She just can't.

"Katerina!"

"You got it, you got it!" I say, running down the stairs. She follows me, laughter coming out of her mouth. I watch as the rest of the school stares at us as if we were crazy.

"Come on, Kat. You can tell me!" Char whines once we stop running. I guess she didn't hear me say, you got it, you got it!, earlier.

"It's not exactly the easiest thing to say," I tell her.

"Yeah, but you promised you'd tell me."

"I know," I moan. We enter the foyer and we are quiet until we enter the mini hall that is almost always empty.

"I-" I start, but I can't find a way to finish.

"You?" Charlotte wonders.

"I'm scared-" I cut off again.

"Your scared of what?" I don't answer. "Your family?" I shake my head no. "Someone at school?" Another no. "Who?"

"Myself," I barely mumble.

"Why are you afraid of yourself?" She asks again. She is just full of questions today.

"I'm afraid I'm going to-"

"To what?" She asks. When I give her a response of staring down at my brand new studded boots again, she starts trying to finish the statement. I only half listen to her stupid endings shaking my head no to each one of them. Finally she says something that catches my attention:

"Hurt yourself?" I shrug Seeing the response she gets from that she makes one more guess. "Kill yourself."

"Kind of." I mumble.

"You’re afraid you’re going to kill yourself? Gosh, that is serious."

"Yeah. Now do you see how that is so hard to tell you."

"We have to tell Mrs. Hendrick," Charlotte tells me and I flinch at the sound of the principal's name. But I know she's right. And I wanted help, didn't I?

"I know."

"Let's go."

"Now?"

"Yeah! This is serious!" She runs out of the hall. Seeing that I don't follow she reopens the door. "Kat, come on!"

What had I done?