FicWad

“You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest and most beautiful person I have ever known - and even that is an understatement.”
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

---
There was light all around him when he awoke. The bedsheets and pillows seemed such a bright shade of white that they almost glowed. The room had a chill to it, but the bed was so warm that an eternity could be spent there without complaint. Oswald wondered if he had died and had entered Heaven.

“Rise and shine princess!” A voice said sarcastically. “It’s time to get up.” Nope, this was Hell. Definitely Hell. He turned over in the opposite direction as the voice and hid his face in a pillow in a fruitless attempt to fall back asleep. But suddenly the warmth that surrounded him was taken away as the covers were pulled. Oswald groaned with discontent. He turned back in the direction of the voice, locking eyes with a smiling Ed. He didn’t return his smile.

“Come on then. You slept through dinner last night and now that you’re awake, you have no excuse to miss another meal.” Memories began flooding back from the previous day. Oswald hadn’t forgotten being on the rooftop of a building, but he couldn’t recall the gap between Ed holding him in his arms and waking up in bed. He realized he had to have been asleep for over fifteen hours. Something else also occurred to him.

“Ed? Did you… kiss me yesterday?” Oswald asked, tilting his head slightly. A faint, but just-noticeable pink blush spread across Ed’s face as he brought his hands together in a quick motion and said, “Olga made breakfast, it would be a shame if it got cold and went to waste. So, let’s get a move on, shall we?” Had he been in a better headspace, Oswald may have laughed.

Oswald turned to sit on the bed, legs dangling over the edge. He’d gotten out of bed without issue on his own since the morning after he’d gotten his limp, but he didn’t refuse Ed’s help when he held out his hands for him to grab onto. Their hands lingered even after Oswald had gotten down.

They were walking together to the kitchen when Oswald remarked, “How did I get into pajamas? You said I’ve been asleep since… well, yesterday afternoon?”

“Olga changed your clothes. I let her know what had happened, and after scolding me for not taking better care of you - and saying something in angrily in Russian that I didn’t quite pick up on -, she changed you into pj’s and had the clothes you were wearing washed.” Oswald nodded as they sat at the breakfast table, which already had every dish placed. Ed quickly swiped the knife from Oswald’s place setting.

“How did I get back to the mansion from the building?”

“Well,” Ed responded, picking out the food he wanted, “I had to carry you. Not very different than when I had to get you from the woods to my apartment. You weren’t light, but far from being too heavy. It was more difficult to find a way to get you back home without people seeing you and wondering what I’d done to the poor mayor.” Oswald felt sick, as he thought of the roof. He could’ve been dead right now had he not been so manic. The mention of the woods only reminded him of his poor mother, dead because of him. A hefty but familiar weight fell on his chest, making it harder to breathe.

---
Adding a piece of toast to his plate, Ed asked playfully, “I can sometimes be a stick, but I don’t come from a tree. What am I?” Ed finally looked up at Oswald after he didn’t respond, knowing full well that a riddle about butter could be accurately answered without much thought even by a simpleton. It was very seldom that Oswald wouldn’t attempt to answer one of Ed’s riddles, as difficult or as easy as they may be.

“Oswald?”

But the mayor didn’t respond that time either. He instead was staring off with a look of dread, appearing pale and nervous. Ed got out of his chair and slowly knelt beside Oswald.

“Hey, it’s okay. May I hold your hand?” When Oswald nodded after a moment, Ed took his hand and squeezed it gently.

“I’m right here. Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Ed asked, not really expecting much of a response.

“Why?” Oswald asked, turning to face Ed, his blue eyes filled with a great rage and an even greater sadness.

“Why didn’t you let me die up there yesterday? Why are you toying with me now? You’re pretending like I didn’t have Isabella killed! You know I did! That’s why you left, isn’t it? And don’t lie to me and pretend you weren’t on that roof yesterday to kill me!”

Surprisingly, despite his outburst, he didn’t let go of Ed’s hand.

With a solemn expression, Ed responded, “Can we talk about this a little bit later? I understand that you’re upset, I do, but please, you need to eat or you’ll make yourself sick.”

“No, Ed. We’re talking about this right now. Just tell me you hate me. Tell me that you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done and that all of this,” he motioned with his free hand at Ed and the food on the table, “is all just to screw with me before you put a bullet in my skull.” His words were harsh, but his tone was contrite. A tear rolled down Oswald’s cheek.

“Fine, we’ll talk about it then. I was angry - no, I was furious - with you when Barbara told me you had Isabella killed. I couldn’t believe you would ever do something to take my happiness away. When I found out it was true, I wanted to hurt you for hurting me. But I realized something.” Ed used the hand that wasn’t intertwined with Oswald’s to wipe one of his tears and then brush a strand of his messy hair back into place. Even crying, Ed still found him beautiful.

“I killed Ms. Kringle’s boyfriend. I did it to protect her because I cared for her deeply. You had Isabella killed because you care about me. You knew I might kill her. And you didn’t want me to kill someone I thought I loved. You didn’t want the pain I suffered from guilt to break me the way it broke you. It might not have been the most ethical decision, but I know you did it for a very similar reason I killed him. In your own way, you wanted to protect me.”

“I did it because I wanted you all to myself! Don’t justify it!” Oswald cried out, hurt lining his voice.

“Oswald, I killed that… disgraceful excuse for a man for two reasons. One, he was hurting Ms. Kringle, and two, I wanted her to be with me instead of him. So I understand why you did what you did. I don’t hate you for it. If I did, I would be a hypocrite. It just took yesterday’s… events to make me see just how precious you are to me.”

Oswald took a deep breath. And then another.

“Ed,” he said in a quiet voice, seemingly devoid of all the rage he had earlier. “Will you stay? Or are you planning on leaving again?”

Ed looked him in his eyes and responded, “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”

He stood up and returned to his seat after giving Oswald’s hand one last squeeze.

“Now, no more pouting, it’s time to eat. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

They ate in a comfortable silence. As always, Olga’s cooking didn’t fail to impress. Oswald ate more food than Ed had anticipated and he smiled at that. When they had both finished their food, Olga came in to collect their dishes, glancing at Oswald with sorrow.

They both stood up from the table and Ed announced, “We have big plans for the day! And don’t worry about your mayoral duties, this is your day off so we’re going to have some fun.”

---
Never in his wildest dreams did Oswald imagine he’d be in his walk-in closet with Ed sitting on the end his bed giving him fashion advice. Ed told him to wear something that “screamed adventure, with a hint of mystery” and was “preferably green” as if that was going to somehow give him an idea for an outfit. Apparently a suit and really any kind of formal wear weren’t what Ed had in mind.

“I think I found something!” Oswald called from the closet. He’d been just showing each piece of clothing on its hanger to Ed from the doorway, but he’d found something worth at least trying on first. It took him a minute or two to get dressed, as having a bad leg injury doesn’t make changing easy. He stepped out of the closet in a pine green sweater that was a size too big with tapered and cuffed dark wash jeans.

“Do I look okay?” Oswald asked, unconsciously pulling the ends of the sweater to cover his hands.

Ed smiled as he responded, “You look magnificent.”

Oswald looked away, flustered at the compliment. Ed got up from his spot and walked over to the doorway Oswald stood under. He dusted off Oswald’s sweater at his shoulders with both hands, then leaned in close just above his neck.

“It still has the tag on it,” Ed whispered right next to his ear. He took removed it in one swift motion and stepped back to take a look at Oswald’s outfit once more. When Ed saw that Oswald’s eyes stared longingly at him, he smirked. Oswald’s brain went fuzzy. He had to have imagined that entire encounter. Ed’s next words seemed to break him from his trance.

“I need to get changed myself, and you, little bird, need to comb your hair before we leave,” Ed said, counterintuitively using a hand to muss up Oswald’s hair. Oswald liked the new pet name more than he cared to admit. Ed noticed the blush that began to creep on Oswald’s face and made a mental note to keep “little bird” in his vocabulary.

“But you look just fine,” the shorter man replied. Ed was wearing grey slacks with a matching suit jacket, a white collared shirt and simple black tie. Oswald wasn’t sure if he said this because Ed actually did look fine or if he just wanted him to stay longer.

“While I’m flattered, my outfit doesn’t scream adventure. Are you already forgetting my criteria?” Ed joked.

He added, “I’ll be back in less than five minutes, I promise.”

And with that, Ed was gone.

Oswald went to the vanity in his bathroom and stared back at his reflection in the mirror. He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. Maybe doing something new with his hair would make him feel a little better. He was used to combing it towards the front of his face, so he instead combed it back. He instinctively reached for his hair gel, but stopped himself and reached for hairspray instead. Oswald sprayed as he combed, turning his head to see what he was doing in the mirror. He almost smiled when he was finished. He considered putting on eyeliner, but decided against it considering that he was trying something new anyway. Oswald stared at his outfit next. While he preferred purple, green was a good color on him. He looked more like a normal person than someone with a city to run.

A knock came from his bedroom door. Oswald left his bathroom, turning off the light as he left, and Ed entered his bedroom again. He wore a grey turtleneck with black pants and a denim jacket.

“Do I look okay?” Ed said, echoing Oswald’s words early.

And Oswald, picking up on this, replies, “You look magnificent.”

And there it was, a smile that crept onto his lips. Ed’s eyes widened slightly in surprise just before he returned his smile.

“Do you think you’ll be needing your cane?”

“No. Not unless you’ve scheduled an important meeting on my ‘day off’.”

“We should be on our way then.”

They left of the mansion together. Parked out front was a black “Aston Martin V8 Vantage convertible,” Ed announced proudly. Now Oswald wasn’t much into cars, and he didn’t take Ed for a car guy, but he could appreciate both the beauty and pricetag of the shiny vehicle. Ed opened the passenger’s side door for Oswald to get in and crossed over to get to the driver’s seat.

“Hey Ed?”

Ed put the key in the ignition and turned it to start the car. “Hm?”

“You’re my green light,” Oswald said in reference to Ed driving him around. Among… other reasons.

“Wait… are you suggesting-”

“Hi Daisy,” Oswald said with a small giggle. Ed feigned a reaction of hurt and offense and glared at him before returning his eyes to the road.

“But I hate Daisy! Everyone hates Daisy! Well, besides Jay. And maybe Tom. And maybe also Jordan. Anyway, can’t I be Nick instead?”

“That would make zero sense. Like, literally none.”

“Fine, then I’m Gatsby and you’re Nick.”

“I… can live with that.”

“Glad to hear it, old sport.” Oswald smiled and rolled his eyes.

“Where are we going by the way?”

“On an adventure.”

“An adventure where?”

“An adventure is an experience, not a destination,” Ed replied.

This didn’t satisfy Oswald’s curiosity - not in the slightest - but he knew wherever they were going, Ed had planned out. Where they ended up, he then presumed, had to have some specific significance.

The radio came on at some point, but Oswald couldn’t pinpoint exactly when. He stared out of the window and for the first time in a long time, he could just sit back and watch the world around him. He watched cars and buildings pass by. Minutes turned to hours and the frequency of those cars and buildings decreased. Being out of Gotham felt surreal. The world seemed to slow down. There was no urgency, no pressure, just the countryside and all of its simplicity.

“Wow,” Oswald breathed. Red, pink, blue, white and purple flowers were planted along in the fields on both sides of the roads that seemed to stretch on infinitely. Upon hearing his reaction, Ed slowed the car and pulled over on the dirt road.

“What are you doing?” Oswald asked, worried something may have been wrong with the car for Ed to have pulled over so suddenly. But Ed was smiling when Oswald had turned to ask him.

“Pick one. Or as many as you want. Assemble a bouquet if you’d like to.”

“Wha-” Oswald began, but Ed was already unbuckled and stepping out of the car. Oswald followed his lead and unbuckled his seatbelt.

---
Ed opened the door for him, still smiling, and held out his hand to help Oswald step out of the car. Oswald felt his eyes water. Ed’s face dropped immediately.

“Are you alright? Is something wrong? We can leave if-”

“It’s just so beautiful,” Oswald said with a soft smile, taking Ed’s hand to step out. Ed breathed a sigh of relief and smiled once again. No more beautiful than you, little bird, Ed thought.

Ed replied with a simple, “I’m glad you think so.”

Oswald’s eyes searched around the field. “I want the purple ones. What kind of flowers are they?”

“Lathyrus odoratus. Commonly known as sweet peas.”

The flowers weren’t separated out in rows of the same color, which meant the “purple ones” weren’t just in one spot. Ed and Oswald searched the field extensively together and only picked the most vivid and healthy-looking sweet peas. The duo were careful to walk so that they didn’t crush any flowers as they went on their search. When they returned to the car, Oswald was holding his carefully assembled bouquet. Ed opened the passenger’s side door for him. Now that they were out of Gotham, Ed wasn’t so worried about people spotting him or Oswald. As such, before getting in the driver’s seat and driving off, he took the top off of the car.

“Oz?” Oswald had been admiring his flowers, but turned to face Ed.

“Yes, Ed?”

“Would you like to continue on with our adventure?”

“There’s… more?” Oswald look surprised, but seemed excited at the prospect of continuing on instead of turning back to the mansion.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Ed replied as he got back onto the road and drove.

---
The wind felt cold on Oswald’s skin but there was something freeing about it. The breeze felt like music after a lifetime of silence. He was safely secured by his seatbelt and Ed wasn’t going excessively above the speed limit, but he knew how it felt to fly.

“Hey Oswald, are you hungry?” Oh. He’d forgotten about lunch.

“I could eat.” They’d been on a dirt road for sometime and the countryside had become more wooded. The car was soon parked just out front what Oswald assumed had to be coffeeshop based on the sign, which said in bold letters “Violet’s Espresso”. Ed and Oswald looked over at each other simultaneously and grinned before heading inside.

There was no one else inside besides them. Oswald had a suspicion that would be the case. Yet there was food waiting for them, prepared not long before they had arrived.

“Interesting choice of seating,” Oswald mentioned. There were several tables in the coffee shop, even one that was in the very center of the place. The table that had been prepared for them was positioned right beside a large window towards the back. And with the surrounding area being so forested, one would think that window would face the large array of trees. The land it faces, however, showed that the coffee shop was on an incline. So while there were indeed trees, the window offered a greater view of the sky than anything else.

“It was picked for a good reason.”

“Oh, I’m sure of that. You’ve always been great with planning,” Oswald remarked.

“Speaking of… planning.” Oswald looked at him intently as he took a bite of one of the sandwiches from his plate.

“Oswald, I can’t figure it out. You’ve always known what you want and you make a plan to acquire whatever it is. So if you wanted to die, why fall from a rooftop? Yesterday, did you even write a note? If you wanted to die, wouldn’t you have been more elaborate? Wouldn’t you have wanted people to figure out why?” Oswald stared down at his plate and didn’t respond for a moment.

“You’re right. I do know what I want. And yesterday, I just felt so out of control that I didn’t want to give my death purpose, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I was having a manic episode. There was no plan, just the intent. If I wasn’t so panicked and was more serious about dying, I did have a plan,” Oswald said, his volume just above a whisper.

“What was it?”

Oswald took a deep breath. “You can cross me many times over, but burn me once and I’ll never return. What am I?”

“Oh, Oswald.”

They were both quiet for a while until Ed spoke again.

“Which one?”

“The Brown Bridge,” he replied immediately, having anticipated the question. He continued.

“Had it picked out since I was seventeen. I stopped having suicidal thoughts for a while and would visit on occasion just to tell myself how much my life had improved. But recently, I’ve just been feeling like things will never get better. Like I’ll never be happy. With my mom and dad gone, I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.”

Ed bit the inside of his cheek. This wasn’t easy for either of them.

“And then you decided to take me on this trip. Today… feels so easy. I just keep thinking ‘I never would’ve seen the world like this if I was gone’. You got me up this morning. You made sure I ate and got dressed. You made me leave the house. And I can never thank you enough.”

Ed’s eyes were watery when he responded, “You don’t need to thank me. If roles were reversed, you’d do the same for me.” Oswald smiled softly and nodded.

“Ignore my egregious timing, but I’ve got a simple riddle for you.”

“I hopefully have an answer for you. Please, ask away.”

“I peek through windows, but I cannot touch them. I bring you warmth, but I can also blind you. What am I?”

“The sun?” Ed tilted his head and looked toward the window, prompting Oswald to also look outside. Shades of pink, orange and yellow painted the sky.

“I don’t know how often you’re able to just sit and watch the sun set, but I figured if we could together, why not have the best view?”

The two men talked for a while, turning to look at the sunset and back at each other. After finishing both of their meals, Ed and Oswald walked back to the car. Oswald took a single flower from his bouquet and removed the vast majority of its stem. As Ed turned to buckle his seatbelt, Oswald tried tucking the flower behind his ear without success. The flower fell and Ed picked it up, moving the temple tip of his glasses to hold the flower in place.

“Do I look okay?” He looked at the grinning mayor before starting the car to get back on the road.

“You look… artsy,” he replied, stifling a laugh.

“Wait, is that a bad thing?”

“No! No, of course not. I guess I’m just not used to you looking so… I don’t know, soft?”

“Soft?”

“Well, you’re always dressed like you’ve got business meetings all day. It’s nice to see you with a new style.”

“That’s fair. I can say the same for you. Oh, and I like what you’ve done with your hair. I can’t remember if I’ve already complimented you on it. It suits you nicely.”

This was the shortest distance Ed drove for the duration of the trip. The top of the car was still down and the chilly air was delightful. Robins chirped and sang as the night grew darker.

“Oswald, close your eyes. It’ll just be for a minute or two.”

He complied, shutting his eyes and smiling in enthused anticipation. He felt the car come to a stop shortly thereafter.

“Okay, just another minute. Try and unbuckle your seatbelt, and I’ll help you out of the car. Ed’s led Oswald out of the car, shutting the door behind him and walked him forward.

“You can open your eyes. Welcome to Utopia.”

Lights hung elaborately from a leafless tree which stood alone in grassy piece of land. Below the tree was a blanket and a basket. On the blanket was a wooden tray that held a clear pitcher containing lemonade, two glasses filled with ice and two plates with proper utensils lying atop.

“Ed… wow. Just… wow. You continue to impress me and outdo yourself. Everything looks so lovely.”

“Why thank you. Would you like to - oh! Wait a moment. What is higher without a head than with it?” Ed asked, returning to the car and reaching down into backseat.

“I don’t know, the mortality rate?”

“A pillow!” Ed announced, grabbing two pillows and holding them up.

“How did I not notice -”

“I really don’t know, they’ve been there since we got in the car this morning. I figured you would mention them at some point, but I guess I was able to pull off an additional surprise. Anyway, shall we?”

They went over to the blanket and Ed laid down the pillows. Oswald sat beside Ed when he recalled something.

“Didn’t you have a picnic the day you were burying your…” Oswald made a vague hand gesture, not wanting to upset Ed by mentioning Kristen’s name.

Ed’s eyes widened and he gaped at the realization. It was obvious that this fact hadn’t occurred to him.

“Oswald, I promise, I truly didn’t mean to-”

“No, Ed, don’t you remember? That’s the day you decided for the first time to help me when I needed it most. I actually find it very sweet. So much has happened since then.”

Ed relaxed and agreed.

“I was so lost before I got to know you,” Ed said, looking off into the distance contemplatively.

“For being lost, you sure motivated me when I felt like my world was falling apart.”

“It seems like we complete each other,” Ed said, not realizing the gravity of his words until after they were spoken.

But Oswald didn’t react except to smile and say pleasantly, “it would seem so.”

Ed poured them both lemonade and opened up the basket, showing Oswald the fruits, cheese, crackers, bread and vegetables it contained. They had just finished eating a rather filling late lunch not too long ago, but the food in the basket was just enough for them to say they had three meals. They ate and talked.

“This entire adventure, how did you manage to pull it all off?”

“I called in a few favors,” Ed replied as if it were no big deal, even waving his hand dismissively. He moved to lay down, his head resting on his respective pillow.

“You know,” Ed began as Oswald laid down also. “It’s a cliché for people on picnics to watch the clouds and try and guess their shapes. But Gotham is always cloudy. So I figured,” he pointed at the sky the same way he had pointed out the window in the coffee shop. Oswald’s eyes looked up.

“Why not stargaze with a clear sky instead?”

Stars twinkled brightly in the deep blue night sky. Oswald was in awe of its undeniable beauty.

“I can’t make you appreciate life. That’s something only you can control. But I can seek out what I find beautiful and share it with you.”

Oswald turned to watch Ed’s brown eyes glimmering with the reflection of the stars. He looked at the way his smile looked so natural and soft on his face. Ed turned to face him.

“You’re so ravishing,” Oswald breathed. “And I bet you have no idea.”

“May I kiss you?” Ed asked, his hand reaching out to touch Oswald’s face.

“Please do.”

Their lips met in a gentle kiss, one that was long-awaited by the both of them. The beauty of the sweet peas, the sunset that changed the palette of the sky and even the stars that shone brilliantly in the night couldn’t compare to affection Ed and Oswald shared for each other in that moment.

Heaven, Oswald thought. This is definitely Heaven.