Categories > Original > Humor
Duncanville In Association With Paradise PD Presents:
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Yangzi or Kevin Field
On a not so busy highway near their hangout at the empty trailer. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf were playing a game of baseball. Duncan goes into one of his fantasies where he's flying in the sky, then landing in baseball diamond at Fenway Park. An sports announcer says, "Bottom of the ninth! Two strikes and two outs! Oh my what's this! Looks like Duncan Harris just literally flew into the field about to hit a home run!"
Duncan gets a baseball bat and the pitcher throws it towards him, "And here's the pitch!" Duncan hits the ball square into the sky. "It's a high flying ball! Duncan runs to first, then second, then....." Bex snaps Duncan out of his fantasy by shouting, "DUNCAN!"
"Yo dawg! Were you looking at the sky again?" Yangzi asks. "Uh, no! Just getting in position here!" Duncan calls out. Bex throws the baseball in Duncan's direction and he misses. "Strike one man!" Wolf said in a deadpan voice.
"You better beware of my pitching skills, Duncan! My Grandma played Olympic Softball in the 1976 Olympics!" Bex tells Duncan. The four of them hear a car horn honking.
"SHIT DUDE! HIT THE DECK!" Yangzi screams as they all run to the side of the street to let the car drive by. "Son of a bitch! That's the tenth car that's gone by us!" said Duncan. "Indeed so, dude." Bex says then she sees a semi truck driving their way.
"Oh no! TRUCK!!!!" Yangzi shouted then Duncan, Bex, Yangzi, and Wolf all run again to the side of the street. Duncan chuckles, "You sounded like Wil Wheaton from Stand By Me!" Wolf decides he has had it. "We've been playing for five hours and still these cars keep whizzing by us!"
"It's a highway. What do you expect?" asked Bex. "I expect we find a better place to play baseball! Let me know when pigs fly so we can finally play a game in peace!" Wolf yells walking back home. Duncan, Bex, and Yangzi were shocked at how their usually laid back friend got so mad.
Duncan has a suggestion, "You know what guys? Maybe Wolf is right. We do need a find a place to play baseball."
"Yo, I know but. Where is the first place to look?" asked Yangzi. Bex added, "How about that one place where we went to that Electric Music Festival at one time?"
"It's worth a shot. We'll try to think about it." said Duncan.
"We got the whole weekend to consider, dawg." Yangzi said.
Saturday was the next day, Duncan meets Yangzi outside his house. "So you want to try to find somewhere to play baseball?" asks Yangzi. "Sure." said Duncan.
Looking all over Oakdale, Yangzi points to the place where Old Oakie used to be, "How about there?" he jokes. "Hell no, man! After the bad memory that created. I don't think so!" Duncan laughed.
"Bex said to try that place where the outdoor festivals take place." said Yangzi. "I know. My Mom looked into it, and she says it's private property and we'd be arrested on the spot." said Duncan.
"If we don't find somewhere to play soon. We're doomed to play on the not so empty high way!" said Yangzi. "Guess we could try a cornfield. Worked in movie Field of Dreams." Duncan says.
Their search ends when they find a corner lot between two buildings that's completely empty. All that stood in the corner lot was grass and long weeds coming out of it.
"How about this place! It's perfect!" said Duncan. "You're right, but, wouldn't we trip all over those weeds?" asked Yangzi. "Nothing a little sprucing up can do. Let's come get Bex and Wolf to help us!" Duncan says. Yangzi calls Bex and Wolf.
Bex and Wolf are now at the corner lot Duncan and Yangzi found. Wolf was biting off the weeds with his teeth. Duncan used a lawmower. Yangzi was raking. Bex was throwing the clippings away in a garbage sack. Then the four friends fixed up the lot to make it look like a baseball field. Wolf used hubcaps as bases. In no time at all. Their task was complete and they were impressed with the results.
"WWWWWOOOOOO! Think we found our baseball place! And other sports too!" Bex said. "What should we call it?" asked Yangzi "You're the one with the idea, let's call it, Yangzi Field!" Duncan said. "Yeah, Yangzi field man. Would prefer Wolf Field, but that's all right." Wolf said.
"YANGZI FIELD! YAY!" Duncan, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi all cheer as they head home to get their baseball gear.
Outside of town, a Police Car was driving toward Oakdale. The Police Car reads, "PARADISE PD" on the sides. Inside where Randall, Dusty, Stanley, Kevin, Gina, and Bullet.
"Well, Dusty! Thanks for getting us out of that pizza that devoured our town!" said Randall. "Oh fish! It was nothing!" Dusty said in a sweet tone of voice.
"We had to leave behind Fitz, though." Bullet says. "Good riddance to that sumbitch! I never liked that guy, anyway!" Stanley implies. "Where the hell are we going?" asked Gina. "We'll stay in this Oakdale Town for a while. Until that pizza gets cleaned up!" Randall said. Kevin asks, "We'll we have to work for the police in this town?"
"No! We'll start our own. Just need to find someplace we can use!" said Randall. Bullet says, "Good night Fitz! We hardly knew ye!" "I admit I'm gonna miss him!" Dusty said.
"I won't. And to think we thought he was on our side then he turned out to be a Kingpin!" Gina said.
"Fuck Fitz! Right Dad!" Kevin said. "Absolutely son! Gerald Fitzgerald made his bed now we can lay in it!" Randall said. Bullet points out the window, "Think I see a good spot right there, guys!"
Randall pulls over the police car. All of them get out to observe the corner lot that Duncan, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi made into baseball field. "You're right Bullet! This DOES look like a cool place to set up a police office!" Kevin said.
Randall makes a decision, "I approve this corner lot! For now we'll go check into a hotel here in Oakdale. Come tomorrow, we're building our own police precient!"
Bullet says, "Corner Lots are great for commiting crimes and shooting up drugs and....." Gina, Dusty, Randall, Kevin, and Stanley all look at him with contempt. "Did I say commit? I said solve crimes and sweeping up drugs!" Bullet chuckled. "Whatever, Bullet!" said Gina. "Good thing is, we don't know anyone here like we did in Brickleberry!" said Dusty. "That's right. No most unnessesary crossovers ever!" Gina joked.
As soon as the Paradise PD got settled into a local hotel. Duncan and his friends were having a good time playing baseball on their newly found corner lot. When they were done Duncan said, "That was a blast!" "So glad we found Yangzi Field!" said Yangzi. "So same time tommorow?" asks Bex. "You bet, everyday after school!" said Wolf. "How come you catch a baseball with your teeth, Wolf?" asks Duncan. "Don't have a glove." said Wolf.
*
Later that very afternoon, Randall, Gina, Stanley, Bullet, Kevin, and Dusty were now using the lot to make it their temporary headquarters. "Fuck it to hell! Why is there never an evidence room when we relocate?" said Bullet. "If you want to score some drugs, just prostitute yourself! That's how I got F. Scott Fitzgerald to publish his books!" Stanley said. "Uh, no thanks. I may be an addict but I'm not desperate enough to reduce myself to sodomy!" Bullet says uneasily. "Okay listen up! As I've stated before. We will have our police headquarters outside on this lot!" Randall said.
"Oh boy! We're having work outside! It's going to be like recess everyday!" Dusty said. "I declare we name this lot Kevin Field!" Kevin said. "NO! Fat chance it's getting called 'Kevin Field'. We're calling it Police Headquarters!" Randall shouted in Kevin's face.
Gina said, "You know we don't have any cars to chase around criminals!" "We'll use mine the one we used when we got here to Oakdale!" said Randall. "So Dad, what's our mission today?" asked Kevin. "We take my car and look around for any suspicious activity. Gina gets her night stick, "Can't wait to bust my first criminal here in Oakdale!" Randall orders everyone in the car, "Bullet and Gina you both get shotgun! Dusty you're sitting in the middle! Kevin you're going in the trunk with Stanley!" "Oh shit!" said Kevin. "What's wrong with my shit?" asks Stanley.
When Oakdale High School got out on Monday. Mia walks by Duncan and his friends. "Hey, Duncan. You guys looks like you're itching to go somewhere!" Duncan answered, "Oh yes! We found a place to play baseball. Want to join us?" "It's called Yangzi Field, dawg!" Yangzi implies. "We're just waiting for this day to be over so we can play! End dammit end!" Wolf shouts pounding the tables. Mia accepts the invite. "You bet! I'd love to join you guys! I don't have to work after school! Count me in!" said Mia. Duncan was pleased with Mia's decision.
Going into one of his fantasties, Duncan imagines himself as Kevin Costner in For Love Of The Game. Duncan runs out of the baseball field and into an airport where Mia was about to catch a flight. Duncan stops her to declare his love for him. As they were going to kiss, Bex snaps him out of his fantasy. "Didn't you hear the bell ring! Let's go dude! PLAY BALL! YYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Bex roars in a playful way as they exit Oakdale High School and go to the corner lot known as 'Yangzi Field.'
Rushing to the Yangzi Field as fast as they could. Mia tells Duncan, "I didn't bring any baseball stuff. Actually I don't really own anything." "That's fine. Use mine if you want. I'd love to see you play." said Duncan.
Wolf sings in a monotone, "Take us out to the ball game......" Bex says, "Good thing my Grandma takes naps this time of day." Yangzi says, "I just downloaded a baseball app!" When they arrive in Yangzi Field, they see the Paradise PD dominating the corner lot. "WHAT THE HELL!" Duncan shouted. Yangzi shouted, "DUDE! COPS!"
"Did you hear something?" asked Dusty. "Yes I have! It sounded like a young'un!" Stanley said. Randall turns around to see Duncan, Mia, Wolf, Yangzi, and Bex. "WHAT DO YOU ASSHOLES WANT!" Randall shouted. "We wanna play baseball!" Duncan said. "THIS IS NO PLACE FOR YOUR DAMNED SPORTS! THIS IS POLICE HEADQUARTERS!" Randall yelled at them again. "Yeah, well we found it first! I even named this lot after myself. Yangzi Field!" Yangzi tells them.
"You know Dad, maybe we should let them play here." Kevin suggests. "NO!!" Randall yells. Bullet walks up to Duncan, "Look kids. If you want this lot back, and play baseball on it. You're going to play against us! The Paradise PD!"
"Did that dog just talk?" asks Duncan frightenedly. "I guess it did." said Mia who couldn't believe it either. Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi were also stunned by Bullet's gift of gab. "What? Never seen a talking dog before? And to think you all probably played Pokemon at one time in your lives." Bullet said. Gina tells Duncan and his friends, "It doesn't matter who was here first. You're walking on police property! It's going to get weird if you don't leave now...." Duncan said, "How weird will it get?" Gina gruffs in Duncan's face, "YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Yangzi asks, "So, heh heh, I'm up for suggestions..."
"These cops want to challenge us to a game. I say we go for it." said Wolf. Randall agrees to this, "That's a fine idea you have there Bullet. Winner keeps the lot. Loser finds someplace else!" "It's a deal." Duncan said. "I hope we can win against these guys, man." said Yangzi. "Oh we will! We're fighting for what is rightfully ours!" Bex said.
Dusty joins in, "We playing baseball?" "Yes we are! Against these stupid ass know it all teenagers!" said Stanley. "Hey, teenagers aren't know it alls!" said Duncan. "The only baseball I played was when Mama used to tan my hide with a bat whenever I was bad!" said Dusty. Gina purrs at Dusty, "Say that again, hot stuff!" Kevin tells Duncan, "This place is actually named after me. Kevin Field. So you got a week to train."
"You're on!" said Duncan. Mia tells Duncan, "Oh a risk taker!" "So it's settled. The big game is Friday night! As the wrestired
always say BE THERE!" said Bullet.
"Come on, guys. We haven't a moment to lose." said Yangzi. "What did I just agree to? What if those cops beat us?" said a worried Duncan. "They won't. Yangzi didn't you say you have a baseball app?" asks Bex. "Yes we can use this to train!" said Yangzi. Mia tells them, "I gotta go to the store and get some baseball stuff!" Duncan says, "YES!" "What's with the yes?" asked Wolf. "Oh nothing. Just feeling confident...." Duncan says.
Bex asks Randall, "Who gets the lot until then?" "WE DO! In fact we need this lot because our town got bombed with Operation DD! Now our town of Paradise is a giantic pizza!" Randall shouted. Duncan, Mia, Yanzgi, Wolf, and Bex all laugh at them. "Ha! Yeah that's it! Keep laughing!" Gina tells Duncan and his crew. "We'll see who laughs when we throw you all out of our corner lot you bastards!" Stanley shouted shaking his fist until his bone broke.
The Paradise PD were at a hotel room. "We're going to train and beat those son of a bitch teenagers!" Randall said. "You Dusty! You're going to be our pitch hitter!" said Kevin. "But...but...but...I don't know how to hit a bat!" said Dusty. "I can teach you! Let me be your mentor and by the end of the week you'll be a regular Mr. 3000!" said Bullet.
"Baseball hey? America's favorite pasttime! My favorite baseball past time was in World Series of 1933. I fucked all the New York Giants!" Stanley said.
Gina says, "Isn't it kind of pointless to play against a bunch of worthless teenagers?" "No way! They're the scum beneath our feet! Future law offenders if you ask me. If they want to challenge us for the corner lot! I say let them!" said Randall. "The thing of it is, we need that corner lot until the town of Paradise gets restored." said Kevin. "Exactly, Kevin." said Randall. "Where are we going to train, oh and can we use steeroids?" asked Bullet. "We'll train at the Oakdale Fairgrounds, until then we use the lot! Just like I told that fat bitch!" said Randall. "No steeroids!" warns Gina to Bullet. "Aww, you're no fun! I hate Oakdale so far!" Bullet bemoans.
*
Mia shows Duncan, Wolf, Bex, and Yangzi the parking lot to the pizza place where she works. "Since those entitled police kicked us out. We'll train to beat them here." states Mia.
"Entitled is correct!" said Duncan. Mia goes on a rant, All because a police officer is in a position of authority doesn't give them a right they need to take their sense of superiority over the top!"
"Good point, Mia! That's why so many blacks get shot by cops like them." Duncan said. "Agreed. Who do those policemen thing they are. I can tell they're not even from here." said Mia. "Those were the worst cops I've ever seen. They even got a fat dude and an old guy." said Wolf. "I saw that too. Who knows, with an fat and old guy on their team, maybe we do have the upper hand." said Bex referring to Dusty and Stanley.
Yangzi says, "Okay! The middle of the parking lot will be home plate! Let's take our places and begin!" Yangzi sets his iphone and turned on the baseball app. "WELCOME TO BASEBALL APP. HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU?" asks the iphone with the baseball app installed. Listening to the Baseball App, Duncan, Mia, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf all played to train for the big game.
At the Oakdale Fairgrounds, Bullet tries his best to train Dusty to hit a ball with a bat. "Aww! dammit! Let's face it! I'll never learn!" whines Dusty. Randall walks by, "Dusty! What the hell! You don't know how to hit a baseball with a bat? Allow me to use a phrase from a very famous game show. YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK! GOOD BYE!" "Never you worry, I'll teach him!" said Bullet. Stanley said, "I used to wax baseballs for Babe Ruth. Not only was he called the Great Bambino, he was also known as the Great Jizzbino!" "Whatever Stanley! I just want to beat those asshole teens." said Gina.
Bullet coaches Dusty, "You know that old phrase 'Keep Your Eye On The Ball?" "My mama used to say that before she hit me on the balls with a bat!" said Dusty. "Well, fuck that! If you want to learn how to hit a baseball with a bat. You need to focus on something or someone that really royally pisses you off!" Bullet advised Dusty.
"Can't really think of anything at the moment....." Dusty wonders. "All right. Is there somebody who makes you mad. Like from your past or who you've seen recently?" asks Bullet. Dusty then gets a flashback of somebody that terrorized him recently. "That's easy. Joe Biden!" answers Dusty. "There you go!" Bullet speaks as he throws the baseball to Dusty. "Now think of this baseball as Joe Biden!" demanded Bullet. Dusty focused on the baseball coming his way. Dusty then pictures Joe Biden's image in the baseball. "That's right, Joe Biden you sumbitch! Come and get it!"
"Oh....fuck....yeah..." said the image of Joe Biden.
By a grace of a miracle, Dusty hit the baseball with the bat out of the Fairgrounds. The image of Joe Biden screams, "NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!" Gina runs to him, "Woah! Dusty! That was awesome, I'm even more hot for you than ever!!" "You can be our new pitch hitter! You were like Adam Sandler in Waterboy!" Kevin said. "Wow! I feel like Steve Urkel! Did I do that?" Dusty said in both happiness and shock. "That's what I call a Double Header!" Stanley said. "You're worth something after all. Even though you do suck balls as police work!" said Randall. "Dusty can be our secret weapon against those high schooler losers!" said Bullet. "Let's stop praising Dusty before he gets a big headed ego! Get back to training now!" Randall shouted.
Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days plays as a montage is shown. The first montage is Duncan, Mia, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi training to play baseball in the pizza place parking lot. However they were listening to tips on Yangzi's baseball app.
Then another montage is shown with the Paradise PD playing to train to beat Duncan and his friends. Bullet was the pitcher. Randall the umpire, Gina was first base, Kevin second base, and Stanley was shortstop. Dusty kept hitting home run after home run.
T
he days of the week go by as scenes of each montage is shown with Duncan and his friends and the Paradise PD. Tuesday....Wednesday.....Thursday....... Friday came along. Duncan, Mia, Bex, Yangzi, and Wolf were anxious to for school to get out for the weekend.
"Come on! Come on! Will that clock strike three already!" Duncan said. Bex assured him, "We'll all nervous to face those corrupt cops who stole our lot." "We listened to all the tips on my baseball app dawg!" says Yangzi. Mia says, "Cops like them need to be put in their place. What right did they have to take that lot from under us?" Wolf chimes in, "If we win let's run them out of town." Mia gets her ipad and says, "Anyone heard the phrase Know Your Enemy?"
Duncan says, "Sounds like a song my Dad would listen to.". Mia said, " I researched this Paradise PD. It says they're the worst cops in all of America! ". "What exactly did they do?". Asks Bex . Mia shows them a list she found of all the things the Paradise PD have done. "Holy Shit! Glad you showed us that!". Yangzi said. Then Duncan goes into one of his fantasies when he imagines he's a giant.
Duncan as a giant walks through Oakdale. Then he comes to Yangzi Field and sees the Paradise PD. Randall in Duncan's fantasy says, "We're gonna kick their asses and never let them use those lot!" "Think again!" said giant Duncan. Randall screams as he sees giant Duncan and Gina, Kevin, Bullet, Stanley, and Dusty were also running away from giant Duncan in his daydream. "FE FI FO FUM! GET OUTTA OUR LOT YOU DIRTY COP SCUM!" The bell rang, Duncan was once again distracted from the bell. Bex snaps him out of his dream and tells him, "The bell rang. We can go now!" All of them went to their lockers to get their baseball gear.
Duncan was running in his usual floppy way trying to catch up to Mia, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi. "YANGZI FIELD HERE WE COME!" Duncan yelled out.
When they got to 'Yangzi Field', they see Randall, Dusty, Stanley, Gina, Bullet, and Kevin were already there training. "Can't wait to see the look on those teens faces when they see Dusty hit a homer!" laughed Bullet. Although their tensions were rising high, they were hopeful but feasable to play against the Paradise PD.
"Let's get ready!" said Duncan. "Or let's get dangerous. Like Darkwing Duck used to say." said Wolf.
*
Randall and Duncan put their hands on the baseball to see who will go first. Duncan won. "All right, the loser teenagers are up first!" Randall said. Stanley said, "We'll show these guys some respect!" Gina called out, "This better be good! I just got done watching Tacoma FD!" "Lucky you, Gina! I missed a Golden Girls marathon." said Dusty.
Bullet said, "It'll all be worth it when we claim this lot!" Duncan tells Randall, "Just see what we can do! Then maybe you won't call us losers after all!" "Yeah, way to show 'em Duncan!" Yangzi said. Kevin said, "Prepare to be kicked out of Kevin Field!" "No it's Yangzi Field!" protested Yangzi. It turned into an arguement between Kevin and Yangzi.
"KEVIN FIELD!"
"YANGZI FIELD!"
"KEVIN FIELD"!
YANGZI FIELD"!
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! THERE YOU GO AGAIN KEVIN! I told you this lot is Police Headquarters! Now let's go play some ball!" Randall shouts. The game begins. Duncan is up at bat. Wolf is the pitcher who throws the baseball. Bex is the umpire. Mia is on first base, and Yangzi is on second base. "Duncan on the mound, and here's the pitch!" Duncan said. Paradise PD were in the outfield.
Being able to hit the ball, Duncan runs to first. However, Bullet catches the ball. Gina pushed Duncan out of the way, "YYYEEEERRRRR OOOOUUUUUTTT!"
Then Yangzi was up at bat. Wolf pitches the ball, then Yangzi was able to hit the ball though not very far. Mia gets the ball as Yangzi runs to first, then second. "SAFE!" Bex shouted.
Wolf was now up at bat, and Duncan was the pitcher. Wolf missed the ball. "Strike one! ASSHOLE!" shouted Bullet. Duncan threw the ball again, and Wolf missed it. "STRIKE TWO!" Bullet shouts. Duncan then tries to hit the ball once more but fails, "STRIKE THREE! YYYEEERRRRR OOOOUUUUTTT!"
Dusty laughs. Wolf said, "Guess I'm not cut out for this!" It was now Bex's turn, and Yangzi was now the pitcher. Bex was able to hit one of the lot. "It's a high flying ball!" Duncan and Yangzi try to catch it as did Kevin and Gina, but Wolf was able to catch the ball
in his mouth. "YES! HOME RUN! WE SCORED!" Bex yells proudly. "Enjoy your little victory for now. Because we got a secret weapon on our hands!" Randall said. Kevin said, "That's my dad. Always has the upper hand!"
Then it was the Paradise PD's turn at bat. Duncan's Team was 1-0. Duncan and his friends were in the outfield.
"We cannot lose to those little twat waffles! Here, let me at 'em!" Gina said. "It's your turn to bat, anyway." said Kevin who was the pitcher. This time, Randall was on first base, Bullet was on second base, and Stanley was shortstop. Dusty was on third. Duncan and his crew were in the outfield.
Kevin throws the ball to Gina, and held both ends of the bat with her fingers and was standing diagonally and managed to ping the ball far, and Gina put the bat down and ran for first. Bullet was chewing some Skoal while the game was being played. "Anyone want to cheap Skoal? Come on, you'll love this stuff!" Skoal was the only drug Bullet can get during his time in Oakdale.
Gina managed to run base to base, scoring one for Paradise PD as she sildes into home!" "YES! We're tied, 1-1" said Kevin, "Your turn Dad!" Randall then goes up to bat, Kevin pitches the ball, then Randall is able to hit it far. Stanley catches it with his teeth which has Wolf feeling very offended. "That's my signature move you plagurist!" Wolf said. "So what! You need to learn respect!" Stanley spat at Wolf.
Kevin still the pitcher as Duncan and his friends watched in the outfield with worry. "They just might win this one." said Mia. "Hope not. Guess it'll be back to the highway for us if they do win." said Duncan. "No! We won't let that happen!" said Bex. "The APP taught us everything we know!" said Yangzi.
It was Kevin's turn to bat and Bullet was the pitcher. Mia wanted to get a word in edgewise as Kevin was about to bat, "Just because you're power crazy cops, doesn't give you permission to take over anything you think you're entitled to! Take some future advice. Leave the blacks alone!" Bullet pitched the ball to Kevin, and he misses. "SHIT FUCK! What the hell, Kevin! You hit my balls with a gun and you can't hit a baseball?" Kevin tries to reason, "But, Dad, it's was my first try!" Randall continues to lay into Kevin, "You were distracted by the words that of social justice warrior bitch! You're outta here! Dusty! You're up!" Kevin goes to the sidelines shamefully as Dusty comes up to bat.
Randall watched in excitment, "YES! We got this one in the bag!" Bullet throws the ball to Dusty, "Remember, Dusty. Pretend the ball is Joe Biden!" "Roger and copy!" Dusty said as he was getting ready to bat. Bullet threw the ball, Dusty was about to bat, then he pictures the baseball as Joe Biden."
The image appears in Dusty's mind of Joe Biden. "Oh......fuck......yeah....."
"You're gonna become lobster scallops, Biden!" Dusty states as he hits the baseball with the bat and scores a home run! The Joe Biden image screams, "OH.....FUCK....NO! NOT....AGAIN!" Bex, Wolf, Duncan, Yangzi, and Mia try like hell to run to catch the ball. Dusty runs from base to base terribly out of breath. The ball Dusty hit fell into the middle of Oakdale. Paradise PD won the game against Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, Mia, and Wolf.
"WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!" The Paradise PD all cheered. Feeling defeated, Duncan said, "How about we use the baseball field in the school from now on?" "Can't believe we lost to those crazy assholes!" said Mia. "We did everything the baseball app told us, dawg!" said Yangzi. "You win some you loose some." said Wolf. "I hope this doesn't go to social media. I can just see the headline, 'High School Kids Lose to Asshole Cops!' My grandma will never let me hear the end of this." said Bex.
As Randall and Bullet were declaring their victory winning the lot, a car pulls up. Out comes Karen.
"RANDALL! HEY ASSFUCK! I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Karen shouted trying to get Randall's attention. "AAWWW SHIT! Karen! What they fuck are you doing here?" Randall asks.
Karen said, "You'd by surprised at what GPS could do. Come on back to Paradise!"
"But, why? It's still a pizza. Is it not?" said Kevin.
"While you guys were gone, the city is restored!" said Karen.
"Woah! Thank God! Now I can go back to the station and do so much cocaine!" Bullet cheers.
Karen asks, "What are you doing in this empty lot?"
"We came here to do police work on this lot until Paradise gets restored." explains Stanley.
"Yeah, it's not like we were challanging some teenagers with a game of baseball for it!" Kevin said off the cuff.
"You can go home now. No need to be here in Oakdale. Come along!" said Karen.
Randall hangs his head, "Yes, Karen."
Gina says, "Maybe when we go back, we can bust Fitz!"
"Hmm, should I go to Possum Pizza or Red Lobster when we go back to Paradise?" wondered Dusty.
The Paradise PD all went inside Karen's car and drove back home. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, Wolf, and Mia could not be more pleased.
"Looks like we got the lot after all!" Duncan said.
Mia said, "Yeah! Awesome! We're winners in a different way! Go home shady police officers!"
Bex gets a baseball and a bat. "Anyone up for a game?"
"I'm in!" said Wolf. "Cool, this time let's play for fun!" said Yangzi.
"I hereby declare this lot to officially be Yangzi Field"! Wolf says.
Duncan and his friends were feeling so much better now that they have the corner lot known as Yangzi Field to play baseball in. The Paradise PD went back to their town. It's an experience none of them will ever forget. They learned an important lesson to fight for what is yours and not anyone stand in your way. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, Mia, and Wolf were all playing baseball until the sun setted in the west.
When they were done for the day, Duncan dreamed of kissing Mia under the stars with fireworks all around.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Yangzi or Kevin Field
On a not so busy highway near their hangout at the empty trailer. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf were playing a game of baseball. Duncan goes into one of his fantasies where he's flying in the sky, then landing in baseball diamond at Fenway Park. An sports announcer says, "Bottom of the ninth! Two strikes and two outs! Oh my what's this! Looks like Duncan Harris just literally flew into the field about to hit a home run!"
Duncan gets a baseball bat and the pitcher throws it towards him, "And here's the pitch!" Duncan hits the ball square into the sky. "It's a high flying ball! Duncan runs to first, then second, then....." Bex snaps Duncan out of his fantasy by shouting, "DUNCAN!"
"Yo dawg! Were you looking at the sky again?" Yangzi asks. "Uh, no! Just getting in position here!" Duncan calls out. Bex throws the baseball in Duncan's direction and he misses. "Strike one man!" Wolf said in a deadpan voice.
"You better beware of my pitching skills, Duncan! My Grandma played Olympic Softball in the 1976 Olympics!" Bex tells Duncan. The four of them hear a car horn honking.
"SHIT DUDE! HIT THE DECK!" Yangzi screams as they all run to the side of the street to let the car drive by. "Son of a bitch! That's the tenth car that's gone by us!" said Duncan. "Indeed so, dude." Bex says then she sees a semi truck driving their way.
"Oh no! TRUCK!!!!" Yangzi shouted then Duncan, Bex, Yangzi, and Wolf all run again to the side of the street. Duncan chuckles, "You sounded like Wil Wheaton from Stand By Me!" Wolf decides he has had it. "We've been playing for five hours and still these cars keep whizzing by us!"
"It's a highway. What do you expect?" asked Bex. "I expect we find a better place to play baseball! Let me know when pigs fly so we can finally play a game in peace!" Wolf yells walking back home. Duncan, Bex, and Yangzi were shocked at how their usually laid back friend got so mad.
Duncan has a suggestion, "You know what guys? Maybe Wolf is right. We do need a find a place to play baseball."
"Yo, I know but. Where is the first place to look?" asked Yangzi. Bex added, "How about that one place where we went to that Electric Music Festival at one time?"
"It's worth a shot. We'll try to think about it." said Duncan.
"We got the whole weekend to consider, dawg." Yangzi said.
Saturday was the next day, Duncan meets Yangzi outside his house. "So you want to try to find somewhere to play baseball?" asks Yangzi. "Sure." said Duncan.
Looking all over Oakdale, Yangzi points to the place where Old Oakie used to be, "How about there?" he jokes. "Hell no, man! After the bad memory that created. I don't think so!" Duncan laughed.
"Bex said to try that place where the outdoor festivals take place." said Yangzi. "I know. My Mom looked into it, and she says it's private property and we'd be arrested on the spot." said Duncan.
"If we don't find somewhere to play soon. We're doomed to play on the not so empty high way!" said Yangzi. "Guess we could try a cornfield. Worked in movie Field of Dreams." Duncan says.
Their search ends when they find a corner lot between two buildings that's completely empty. All that stood in the corner lot was grass and long weeds coming out of it.
"How about this place! It's perfect!" said Duncan. "You're right, but, wouldn't we trip all over those weeds?" asked Yangzi. "Nothing a little sprucing up can do. Let's come get Bex and Wolf to help us!" Duncan says. Yangzi calls Bex and Wolf.
Bex and Wolf are now at the corner lot Duncan and Yangzi found. Wolf was biting off the weeds with his teeth. Duncan used a lawmower. Yangzi was raking. Bex was throwing the clippings away in a garbage sack. Then the four friends fixed up the lot to make it look like a baseball field. Wolf used hubcaps as bases. In no time at all. Their task was complete and they were impressed with the results.
"WWWWWOOOOOO! Think we found our baseball place! And other sports too!" Bex said. "What should we call it?" asked Yangzi "You're the one with the idea, let's call it, Yangzi Field!" Duncan said. "Yeah, Yangzi field man. Would prefer Wolf Field, but that's all right." Wolf said.
"YANGZI FIELD! YAY!" Duncan, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi all cheer as they head home to get their baseball gear.
Outside of town, a Police Car was driving toward Oakdale. The Police Car reads, "PARADISE PD" on the sides. Inside where Randall, Dusty, Stanley, Kevin, Gina, and Bullet.
"Well, Dusty! Thanks for getting us out of that pizza that devoured our town!" said Randall. "Oh fish! It was nothing!" Dusty said in a sweet tone of voice.
"We had to leave behind Fitz, though." Bullet says. "Good riddance to that sumbitch! I never liked that guy, anyway!" Stanley implies. "Where the hell are we going?" asked Gina. "We'll stay in this Oakdale Town for a while. Until that pizza gets cleaned up!" Randall said. Kevin asks, "We'll we have to work for the police in this town?"
"No! We'll start our own. Just need to find someplace we can use!" said Randall. Bullet says, "Good night Fitz! We hardly knew ye!" "I admit I'm gonna miss him!" Dusty said.
"I won't. And to think we thought he was on our side then he turned out to be a Kingpin!" Gina said.
"Fuck Fitz! Right Dad!" Kevin said. "Absolutely son! Gerald Fitzgerald made his bed now we can lay in it!" Randall said. Bullet points out the window, "Think I see a good spot right there, guys!"
Randall pulls over the police car. All of them get out to observe the corner lot that Duncan, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi made into baseball field. "You're right Bullet! This DOES look like a cool place to set up a police office!" Kevin said.
Randall makes a decision, "I approve this corner lot! For now we'll go check into a hotel here in Oakdale. Come tomorrow, we're building our own police precient!"
Bullet says, "Corner Lots are great for commiting crimes and shooting up drugs and....." Gina, Dusty, Randall, Kevin, and Stanley all look at him with contempt. "Did I say commit? I said solve crimes and sweeping up drugs!" Bullet chuckled. "Whatever, Bullet!" said Gina. "Good thing is, we don't know anyone here like we did in Brickleberry!" said Dusty. "That's right. No most unnessesary crossovers ever!" Gina joked.
As soon as the Paradise PD got settled into a local hotel. Duncan and his friends were having a good time playing baseball on their newly found corner lot. When they were done Duncan said, "That was a blast!" "So glad we found Yangzi Field!" said Yangzi. "So same time tommorow?" asks Bex. "You bet, everyday after school!" said Wolf. "How come you catch a baseball with your teeth, Wolf?" asks Duncan. "Don't have a glove." said Wolf.
*
Later that very afternoon, Randall, Gina, Stanley, Bullet, Kevin, and Dusty were now using the lot to make it their temporary headquarters. "Fuck it to hell! Why is there never an evidence room when we relocate?" said Bullet. "If you want to score some drugs, just prostitute yourself! That's how I got F. Scott Fitzgerald to publish his books!" Stanley said. "Uh, no thanks. I may be an addict but I'm not desperate enough to reduce myself to sodomy!" Bullet says uneasily. "Okay listen up! As I've stated before. We will have our police headquarters outside on this lot!" Randall said.
"Oh boy! We're having work outside! It's going to be like recess everyday!" Dusty said. "I declare we name this lot Kevin Field!" Kevin said. "NO! Fat chance it's getting called 'Kevin Field'. We're calling it Police Headquarters!" Randall shouted in Kevin's face.
Gina said, "You know we don't have any cars to chase around criminals!" "We'll use mine the one we used when we got here to Oakdale!" said Randall. "So Dad, what's our mission today?" asked Kevin. "We take my car and look around for any suspicious activity. Gina gets her night stick, "Can't wait to bust my first criminal here in Oakdale!" Randall orders everyone in the car, "Bullet and Gina you both get shotgun! Dusty you're sitting in the middle! Kevin you're going in the trunk with Stanley!" "Oh shit!" said Kevin. "What's wrong with my shit?" asks Stanley.
When Oakdale High School got out on Monday. Mia walks by Duncan and his friends. "Hey, Duncan. You guys looks like you're itching to go somewhere!" Duncan answered, "Oh yes! We found a place to play baseball. Want to join us?" "It's called Yangzi Field, dawg!" Yangzi implies. "We're just waiting for this day to be over so we can play! End dammit end!" Wolf shouts pounding the tables. Mia accepts the invite. "You bet! I'd love to join you guys! I don't have to work after school! Count me in!" said Mia. Duncan was pleased with Mia's decision.
Going into one of his fantasties, Duncan imagines himself as Kevin Costner in For Love Of The Game. Duncan runs out of the baseball field and into an airport where Mia was about to catch a flight. Duncan stops her to declare his love for him. As they were going to kiss, Bex snaps him out of his fantasy. "Didn't you hear the bell ring! Let's go dude! PLAY BALL! YYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Bex roars in a playful way as they exit Oakdale High School and go to the corner lot known as 'Yangzi Field.'
Rushing to the Yangzi Field as fast as they could. Mia tells Duncan, "I didn't bring any baseball stuff. Actually I don't really own anything." "That's fine. Use mine if you want. I'd love to see you play." said Duncan.
Wolf sings in a monotone, "Take us out to the ball game......" Bex says, "Good thing my Grandma takes naps this time of day." Yangzi says, "I just downloaded a baseball app!" When they arrive in Yangzi Field, they see the Paradise PD dominating the corner lot. "WHAT THE HELL!" Duncan shouted. Yangzi shouted, "DUDE! COPS!"
"Did you hear something?" asked Dusty. "Yes I have! It sounded like a young'un!" Stanley said. Randall turns around to see Duncan, Mia, Wolf, Yangzi, and Bex. "WHAT DO YOU ASSHOLES WANT!" Randall shouted. "We wanna play baseball!" Duncan said. "THIS IS NO PLACE FOR YOUR DAMNED SPORTS! THIS IS POLICE HEADQUARTERS!" Randall yelled at them again. "Yeah, well we found it first! I even named this lot after myself. Yangzi Field!" Yangzi tells them.
"You know Dad, maybe we should let them play here." Kevin suggests. "NO!!" Randall yells. Bullet walks up to Duncan, "Look kids. If you want this lot back, and play baseball on it. You're going to play against us! The Paradise PD!"
"Did that dog just talk?" asks Duncan frightenedly. "I guess it did." said Mia who couldn't believe it either. Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi were also stunned by Bullet's gift of gab. "What? Never seen a talking dog before? And to think you all probably played Pokemon at one time in your lives." Bullet said. Gina tells Duncan and his friends, "It doesn't matter who was here first. You're walking on police property! It's going to get weird if you don't leave now...." Duncan said, "How weird will it get?" Gina gruffs in Duncan's face, "YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Yangzi asks, "So, heh heh, I'm up for suggestions..."
"These cops want to challenge us to a game. I say we go for it." said Wolf. Randall agrees to this, "That's a fine idea you have there Bullet. Winner keeps the lot. Loser finds someplace else!" "It's a deal." Duncan said. "I hope we can win against these guys, man." said Yangzi. "Oh we will! We're fighting for what is rightfully ours!" Bex said.
Dusty joins in, "We playing baseball?" "Yes we are! Against these stupid ass know it all teenagers!" said Stanley. "Hey, teenagers aren't know it alls!" said Duncan. "The only baseball I played was when Mama used to tan my hide with a bat whenever I was bad!" said Dusty. Gina purrs at Dusty, "Say that again, hot stuff!" Kevin tells Duncan, "This place is actually named after me. Kevin Field. So you got a week to train."
"You're on!" said Duncan. Mia tells Duncan, "Oh a risk taker!" "So it's settled. The big game is Friday night! As the wrestired
always say BE THERE!" said Bullet.
"Come on, guys. We haven't a moment to lose." said Yangzi. "What did I just agree to? What if those cops beat us?" said a worried Duncan. "They won't. Yangzi didn't you say you have a baseball app?" asks Bex. "Yes we can use this to train!" said Yangzi. Mia tells them, "I gotta go to the store and get some baseball stuff!" Duncan says, "YES!" "What's with the yes?" asked Wolf. "Oh nothing. Just feeling confident...." Duncan says.
Bex asks Randall, "Who gets the lot until then?" "WE DO! In fact we need this lot because our town got bombed with Operation DD! Now our town of Paradise is a giantic pizza!" Randall shouted. Duncan, Mia, Yanzgi, Wolf, and Bex all laugh at them. "Ha! Yeah that's it! Keep laughing!" Gina tells Duncan and his crew. "We'll see who laughs when we throw you all out of our corner lot you bastards!" Stanley shouted shaking his fist until his bone broke.
The Paradise PD were at a hotel room. "We're going to train and beat those son of a bitch teenagers!" Randall said. "You Dusty! You're going to be our pitch hitter!" said Kevin. "But...but...but...I don't know how to hit a bat!" said Dusty. "I can teach you! Let me be your mentor and by the end of the week you'll be a regular Mr. 3000!" said Bullet.
"Baseball hey? America's favorite pasttime! My favorite baseball past time was in World Series of 1933. I fucked all the New York Giants!" Stanley said.
Gina says, "Isn't it kind of pointless to play against a bunch of worthless teenagers?" "No way! They're the scum beneath our feet! Future law offenders if you ask me. If they want to challenge us for the corner lot! I say let them!" said Randall. "The thing of it is, we need that corner lot until the town of Paradise gets restored." said Kevin. "Exactly, Kevin." said Randall. "Where are we going to train, oh and can we use steeroids?" asked Bullet. "We'll train at the Oakdale Fairgrounds, until then we use the lot! Just like I told that fat bitch!" said Randall. "No steeroids!" warns Gina to Bullet. "Aww, you're no fun! I hate Oakdale so far!" Bullet bemoans.
*
Mia shows Duncan, Wolf, Bex, and Yangzi the parking lot to the pizza place where she works. "Since those entitled police kicked us out. We'll train to beat them here." states Mia.
"Entitled is correct!" said Duncan. Mia goes on a rant, All because a police officer is in a position of authority doesn't give them a right they need to take their sense of superiority over the top!"
"Good point, Mia! That's why so many blacks get shot by cops like them." Duncan said. "Agreed. Who do those policemen thing they are. I can tell they're not even from here." said Mia. "Those were the worst cops I've ever seen. They even got a fat dude and an old guy." said Wolf. "I saw that too. Who knows, with an fat and old guy on their team, maybe we do have the upper hand." said Bex referring to Dusty and Stanley.
Yangzi says, "Okay! The middle of the parking lot will be home plate! Let's take our places and begin!" Yangzi sets his iphone and turned on the baseball app. "WELCOME TO BASEBALL APP. HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU?" asks the iphone with the baseball app installed. Listening to the Baseball App, Duncan, Mia, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf all played to train for the big game.
At the Oakdale Fairgrounds, Bullet tries his best to train Dusty to hit a ball with a bat. "Aww! dammit! Let's face it! I'll never learn!" whines Dusty. Randall walks by, "Dusty! What the hell! You don't know how to hit a baseball with a bat? Allow me to use a phrase from a very famous game show. YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK! GOOD BYE!" "Never you worry, I'll teach him!" said Bullet. Stanley said, "I used to wax baseballs for Babe Ruth. Not only was he called the Great Bambino, he was also known as the Great Jizzbino!" "Whatever Stanley! I just want to beat those asshole teens." said Gina.
Bullet coaches Dusty, "You know that old phrase 'Keep Your Eye On The Ball?" "My mama used to say that before she hit me on the balls with a bat!" said Dusty. "Well, fuck that! If you want to learn how to hit a baseball with a bat. You need to focus on something or someone that really royally pisses you off!" Bullet advised Dusty.
"Can't really think of anything at the moment....." Dusty wonders. "All right. Is there somebody who makes you mad. Like from your past or who you've seen recently?" asks Bullet. Dusty then gets a flashback of somebody that terrorized him recently. "That's easy. Joe Biden!" answers Dusty. "There you go!" Bullet speaks as he throws the baseball to Dusty. "Now think of this baseball as Joe Biden!" demanded Bullet. Dusty focused on the baseball coming his way. Dusty then pictures Joe Biden's image in the baseball. "That's right, Joe Biden you sumbitch! Come and get it!"
"Oh....fuck....yeah..." said the image of Joe Biden.
By a grace of a miracle, Dusty hit the baseball with the bat out of the Fairgrounds. The image of Joe Biden screams, "NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!" Gina runs to him, "Woah! Dusty! That was awesome, I'm even more hot for you than ever!!" "You can be our new pitch hitter! You were like Adam Sandler in Waterboy!" Kevin said. "Wow! I feel like Steve Urkel! Did I do that?" Dusty said in both happiness and shock. "That's what I call a Double Header!" Stanley said. "You're worth something after all. Even though you do suck balls as police work!" said Randall. "Dusty can be our secret weapon against those high schooler losers!" said Bullet. "Let's stop praising Dusty before he gets a big headed ego! Get back to training now!" Randall shouted.
Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days plays as a montage is shown. The first montage is Duncan, Mia, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi training to play baseball in the pizza place parking lot. However they were listening to tips on Yangzi's baseball app.
Then another montage is shown with the Paradise PD playing to train to beat Duncan and his friends. Bullet was the pitcher. Randall the umpire, Gina was first base, Kevin second base, and Stanley was shortstop. Dusty kept hitting home run after home run.
T
he days of the week go by as scenes of each montage is shown with Duncan and his friends and the Paradise PD. Tuesday....Wednesday.....Thursday....... Friday came along. Duncan, Mia, Bex, Yangzi, and Wolf were anxious to for school to get out for the weekend.
"Come on! Come on! Will that clock strike three already!" Duncan said. Bex assured him, "We'll all nervous to face those corrupt cops who stole our lot." "We listened to all the tips on my baseball app dawg!" says Yangzi. Mia says, "Cops like them need to be put in their place. What right did they have to take that lot from under us?" Wolf chimes in, "If we win let's run them out of town." Mia gets her ipad and says, "Anyone heard the phrase Know Your Enemy?"
Duncan says, "Sounds like a song my Dad would listen to.". Mia said, " I researched this Paradise PD. It says they're the worst cops in all of America! ". "What exactly did they do?". Asks Bex . Mia shows them a list she found of all the things the Paradise PD have done. "Holy Shit! Glad you showed us that!". Yangzi said. Then Duncan goes into one of his fantasies when he imagines he's a giant.
Duncan as a giant walks through Oakdale. Then he comes to Yangzi Field and sees the Paradise PD. Randall in Duncan's fantasy says, "We're gonna kick their asses and never let them use those lot!" "Think again!" said giant Duncan. Randall screams as he sees giant Duncan and Gina, Kevin, Bullet, Stanley, and Dusty were also running away from giant Duncan in his daydream. "FE FI FO FUM! GET OUTTA OUR LOT YOU DIRTY COP SCUM!" The bell rang, Duncan was once again distracted from the bell. Bex snaps him out of his dream and tells him, "The bell rang. We can go now!" All of them went to their lockers to get their baseball gear.
Duncan was running in his usual floppy way trying to catch up to Mia, Bex, Wolf, and Yangzi. "YANGZI FIELD HERE WE COME!" Duncan yelled out.
When they got to 'Yangzi Field', they see Randall, Dusty, Stanley, Gina, Bullet, and Kevin were already there training. "Can't wait to see the look on those teens faces when they see Dusty hit a homer!" laughed Bullet. Although their tensions were rising high, they were hopeful but feasable to play against the Paradise PD.
"Let's get ready!" said Duncan. "Or let's get dangerous. Like Darkwing Duck used to say." said Wolf.
*
Randall and Duncan put their hands on the baseball to see who will go first. Duncan won. "All right, the loser teenagers are up first!" Randall said. Stanley said, "We'll show these guys some respect!" Gina called out, "This better be good! I just got done watching Tacoma FD!" "Lucky you, Gina! I missed a Golden Girls marathon." said Dusty.
Bullet said, "It'll all be worth it when we claim this lot!" Duncan tells Randall, "Just see what we can do! Then maybe you won't call us losers after all!" "Yeah, way to show 'em Duncan!" Yangzi said. Kevin said, "Prepare to be kicked out of Kevin Field!" "No it's Yangzi Field!" protested Yangzi. It turned into an arguement between Kevin and Yangzi.
"KEVIN FIELD!"
"YANGZI FIELD!"
"KEVIN FIELD"!
YANGZI FIELD"!
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! THERE YOU GO AGAIN KEVIN! I told you this lot is Police Headquarters! Now let's go play some ball!" Randall shouts. The game begins. Duncan is up at bat. Wolf is the pitcher who throws the baseball. Bex is the umpire. Mia is on first base, and Yangzi is on second base. "Duncan on the mound, and here's the pitch!" Duncan said. Paradise PD were in the outfield.
Being able to hit the ball, Duncan runs to first. However, Bullet catches the ball. Gina pushed Duncan out of the way, "YYYEEEERRRRR OOOOUUUUUTTT!"
Then Yangzi was up at bat. Wolf pitches the ball, then Yangzi was able to hit the ball though not very far. Mia gets the ball as Yangzi runs to first, then second. "SAFE!" Bex shouted.
Wolf was now up at bat, and Duncan was the pitcher. Wolf missed the ball. "Strike one! ASSHOLE!" shouted Bullet. Duncan threw the ball again, and Wolf missed it. "STRIKE TWO!" Bullet shouts. Duncan then tries to hit the ball once more but fails, "STRIKE THREE! YYYEEERRRRR OOOOUUUUTTT!"
Dusty laughs. Wolf said, "Guess I'm not cut out for this!" It was now Bex's turn, and Yangzi was now the pitcher. Bex was able to hit one of the lot. "It's a high flying ball!" Duncan and Yangzi try to catch it as did Kevin and Gina, but Wolf was able to catch the ball
in his mouth. "YES! HOME RUN! WE SCORED!" Bex yells proudly. "Enjoy your little victory for now. Because we got a secret weapon on our hands!" Randall said. Kevin said, "That's my dad. Always has the upper hand!"
Then it was the Paradise PD's turn at bat. Duncan's Team was 1-0. Duncan and his friends were in the outfield.
"We cannot lose to those little twat waffles! Here, let me at 'em!" Gina said. "It's your turn to bat, anyway." said Kevin who was the pitcher. This time, Randall was on first base, Bullet was on second base, and Stanley was shortstop. Dusty was on third. Duncan and his crew were in the outfield.
Kevin throws the ball to Gina, and held both ends of the bat with her fingers and was standing diagonally and managed to ping the ball far, and Gina put the bat down and ran for first. Bullet was chewing some Skoal while the game was being played. "Anyone want to cheap Skoal? Come on, you'll love this stuff!" Skoal was the only drug Bullet can get during his time in Oakdale.
Gina managed to run base to base, scoring one for Paradise PD as she sildes into home!" "YES! We're tied, 1-1" said Kevin, "Your turn Dad!" Randall then goes up to bat, Kevin pitches the ball, then Randall is able to hit it far. Stanley catches it with his teeth which has Wolf feeling very offended. "That's my signature move you plagurist!" Wolf said. "So what! You need to learn respect!" Stanley spat at Wolf.
Kevin still the pitcher as Duncan and his friends watched in the outfield with worry. "They just might win this one." said Mia. "Hope not. Guess it'll be back to the highway for us if they do win." said Duncan. "No! We won't let that happen!" said Bex. "The APP taught us everything we know!" said Yangzi.
It was Kevin's turn to bat and Bullet was the pitcher. Mia wanted to get a word in edgewise as Kevin was about to bat, "Just because you're power crazy cops, doesn't give you permission to take over anything you think you're entitled to! Take some future advice. Leave the blacks alone!" Bullet pitched the ball to Kevin, and he misses. "SHIT FUCK! What the hell, Kevin! You hit my balls with a gun and you can't hit a baseball?" Kevin tries to reason, "But, Dad, it's was my first try!" Randall continues to lay into Kevin, "You were distracted by the words that of social justice warrior bitch! You're outta here! Dusty! You're up!" Kevin goes to the sidelines shamefully as Dusty comes up to bat.
Randall watched in excitment, "YES! We got this one in the bag!" Bullet throws the ball to Dusty, "Remember, Dusty. Pretend the ball is Joe Biden!" "Roger and copy!" Dusty said as he was getting ready to bat. Bullet threw the ball, Dusty was about to bat, then he pictures the baseball as Joe Biden."
The image appears in Dusty's mind of Joe Biden. "Oh......fuck......yeah....."
"You're gonna become lobster scallops, Biden!" Dusty states as he hits the baseball with the bat and scores a home run! The Joe Biden image screams, "OH.....FUCK....NO! NOT....AGAIN!" Bex, Wolf, Duncan, Yangzi, and Mia try like hell to run to catch the ball. Dusty runs from base to base terribly out of breath. The ball Dusty hit fell into the middle of Oakdale. Paradise PD won the game against Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, Mia, and Wolf.
"WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!" The Paradise PD all cheered. Feeling defeated, Duncan said, "How about we use the baseball field in the school from now on?" "Can't believe we lost to those crazy assholes!" said Mia. "We did everything the baseball app told us, dawg!" said Yangzi. "You win some you loose some." said Wolf. "I hope this doesn't go to social media. I can just see the headline, 'High School Kids Lose to Asshole Cops!' My grandma will never let me hear the end of this." said Bex.
As Randall and Bullet were declaring their victory winning the lot, a car pulls up. Out comes Karen.
"RANDALL! HEY ASSFUCK! I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Karen shouted trying to get Randall's attention. "AAWWW SHIT! Karen! What they fuck are you doing here?" Randall asks.
Karen said, "You'd by surprised at what GPS could do. Come on back to Paradise!"
"But, why? It's still a pizza. Is it not?" said Kevin.
"While you guys were gone, the city is restored!" said Karen.
"Woah! Thank God! Now I can go back to the station and do so much cocaine!" Bullet cheers.
Karen asks, "What are you doing in this empty lot?"
"We came here to do police work on this lot until Paradise gets restored." explains Stanley.
"Yeah, it's not like we were challanging some teenagers with a game of baseball for it!" Kevin said off the cuff.
"You can go home now. No need to be here in Oakdale. Come along!" said Karen.
Randall hangs his head, "Yes, Karen."
Gina says, "Maybe when we go back, we can bust Fitz!"
"Hmm, should I go to Possum Pizza or Red Lobster when we go back to Paradise?" wondered Dusty.
The Paradise PD all went inside Karen's car and drove back home. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, Wolf, and Mia could not be more pleased.
"Looks like we got the lot after all!" Duncan said.
Mia said, "Yeah! Awesome! We're winners in a different way! Go home shady police officers!"
Bex gets a baseball and a bat. "Anyone up for a game?"
"I'm in!" said Wolf. "Cool, this time let's play for fun!" said Yangzi.
"I hereby declare this lot to officially be Yangzi Field"! Wolf says.
Duncan and his friends were feeling so much better now that they have the corner lot known as Yangzi Field to play baseball in. The Paradise PD went back to their town. It's an experience none of them will ever forget. They learned an important lesson to fight for what is yours and not anyone stand in your way. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, Mia, and Wolf were all playing baseball until the sun setted in the west.
When they were done for the day, Duncan dreamed of kissing Mia under the stars with fireworks all around.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
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