Categories > Theatre > Hamilton
"WHERE THE HELL AM I!?" Thomas Jefferson was heard yelling.
Similar shouts were heard from others.
"Quiet!" A girl who couldn't have been more than 12 yelled.
"Who is this kid? What's he going to do?" Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch, Gilbert du Montier, Marques de La Fayette, or commonly known in America as Lafayette, asked.
"'This kid' is unimportant," said the girl. "And you're all going to sit your asses on those sofas so I can explain why you're here. Any objections?"
There were lots of those.
"None, good. Sit."
The historical figures reluctantly sat on the sofas.
"'Kay. Roll call in no alphabetical order--" the girl was cut off by Alexander Hamilton.
"K? Are we saying letters? Q! D!"
"Shut your pie hole. Now, Angelica Schuyler?"
"Here?" The woman in pink said.
It went on like that through James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, Peggy Schuyler, Eliza Schuyler, King George III, George Washington, Maria Reynolds, Thomas Jefferson, Phillip Hamilton, Lafayette, Hercules Mulligan, John Laurens, and Aaron Burr.
"Now," the girl said. "What are your questions?"
"Where are we!?" The girl couldn't make out the voice. (Either that or the author was too lazy to list a name.)
"That's unimportant. When are we, is what you need the answer to. Welcome to 2019!"
There were at least 5 outraged yells.
"Be thankful I didn't take you to 2020! There's a huge plague-outbreak-thing there."
Upon further observations, the Hamilsquad found that the room was painted purple and had a black shiny thing on the wall. There was a door in the back.
"Why are we here?" Good old' Georgie Washing Machine asked.
"You're going to watch a musical. I'm going to assume you have No idea what that means because they weren't created until the 1920s."
After explaining musicals and technology, and how they got there (magic, by the way), she moved on.
"So, fun fact, slavery was abolished and black people have equal rights. Also, women do too."
Most everyone cheered.
"Who are you?! I demand to know!" King George said.
"I'm Eurydice." The girl (who's name is not Eurydice) said. She then mumbles something about melodies.
"Anyway. Musicals. You're watching a musical about Alexander Hamilton," The girl said.
Jefferson seemed wounded and Alex shouted in triumph.
"You're Eurydice?" Angelica asked.
"Huh?" The girl asked. "Well, no. But there's no way I'm telling any of you my name so you can call me that."
"Isn't Eurydice female?" James Madison asked.
"I . . ." Eurydice said. "I am a girl?" It came out as more of a question.
"You don't look like a girl though." Hercules Mulligan said. "Your wearing pants (which are awful)."
Eurydice crossed her arms. "Just because my pants are bright yellow doesn't mean they're awful. And girls have been wearing pants since the 1900s.
"So, the musical that's why you're here."
Eurydice was lying. Those pants were awful. Itchy, to be exact.
Similar shouts were heard from others.
"Quiet!" A girl who couldn't have been more than 12 yelled.
"Who is this kid? What's he going to do?" Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch, Gilbert du Montier, Marques de La Fayette, or commonly known in America as Lafayette, asked.
"'This kid' is unimportant," said the girl. "And you're all going to sit your asses on those sofas so I can explain why you're here. Any objections?"
There were lots of those.
"None, good. Sit."
The historical figures reluctantly sat on the sofas.
"'Kay. Roll call in no alphabetical order--" the girl was cut off by Alexander Hamilton.
"K? Are we saying letters? Q! D!"
"Shut your pie hole. Now, Angelica Schuyler?"
"Here?" The woman in pink said.
It went on like that through James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, Peggy Schuyler, Eliza Schuyler, King George III, George Washington, Maria Reynolds, Thomas Jefferson, Phillip Hamilton, Lafayette, Hercules Mulligan, John Laurens, and Aaron Burr.
"Now," the girl said. "What are your questions?"
"Where are we!?" The girl couldn't make out the voice. (Either that or the author was too lazy to list a name.)
"That's unimportant. When are we, is what you need the answer to. Welcome to 2019!"
There were at least 5 outraged yells.
"Be thankful I didn't take you to 2020! There's a huge plague-outbreak-thing there."
Upon further observations, the Hamilsquad found that the room was painted purple and had a black shiny thing on the wall. There was a door in the back.
"Why are we here?" Good old' Georgie Washing Machine asked.
"You're going to watch a musical. I'm going to assume you have No idea what that means because they weren't created until the 1920s."
After explaining musicals and technology, and how they got there (magic, by the way), she moved on.
"So, fun fact, slavery was abolished and black people have equal rights. Also, women do too."
Most everyone cheered.
"Who are you?! I demand to know!" King George said.
"I'm Eurydice." The girl (who's name is not Eurydice) said. She then mumbles something about melodies.
"Anyway. Musicals. You're watching a musical about Alexander Hamilton," The girl said.
Jefferson seemed wounded and Alex shouted in triumph.
"You're Eurydice?" Angelica asked.
"Huh?" The girl asked. "Well, no. But there's no way I'm telling any of you my name so you can call me that."
"Isn't Eurydice female?" James Madison asked.
"I . . ." Eurydice said. "I am a girl?" It came out as more of a question.
"You don't look like a girl though." Hercules Mulligan said. "Your wearing pants (which are awful)."
Eurydice crossed her arms. "Just because my pants are bright yellow doesn't mean they're awful. And girls have been wearing pants since the 1900s.
"So, the musical that's why you're here."
Eurydice was lying. Those pants were awful. Itchy, to be exact.
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