Categories > Original > Humor

Olympic Jamaican Trials

by narwhalpuppy 0 reviews

A fanfiction that's based on the 1980's Dukes of Hazzard cartoon!

Category: Humor - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2020-07-17 - 4098 words - Complete

A/N: Decided to take a break from the adult cartoons I usually write fanfictions for. To focus on this one from Saturday Mornings during the 1980s! Aptly titled The Dukes. Based on the live action Dukes of Hazzard series. Which I am a big fan of! My Dad has episodes of it on DVD. Watched some episodes of The Dukes on wcostream.

Could not help but get inspired. It's only fair to warn some that this fanfiction might be politically inncorrect. Just telling you all that from the get-go. The Dukes Cartoon came out in the 1980's and it was a different time. Wanted to throw that out there. So gather around with your friends and read and enjoy this fanfiction about The Dukes cartoon.

The Dukes Cartoon Presents:

A Narwhal Puppy Production:

Olympic Jamaican Trials

In Hazzard County, a wise old man who was the uncle to Bo and Luke. He owned a farm that was threatened to be taked away from him. Uncle Jesse was like a father figure to the Duke Boys. One night, Uncle Jesse was sitting on his porch with his pet raccoon Smokey delivered him his mail. "Thanks for bringing me my mail, Smokey!" Shuffling through the mail, Uncle Jesse finds a postcard that was from Daisy.

"A postcard! This one is from Daisy!" Uncle Jesse said as he read the letter. "It says here they're in Jamaica." Reading the letter, Uncle Jesse says, "We're still racing Boss Hogg and Roscoe P. Coltrane around the world. Bo, Luke, and I ended up here in a country called Jamaica. It's very beautiful here. Beaches, sand, and surf. Taking a break from our race around the world against Boss Hogg, we decided to take a swim at the beach." Uncle Jesse and Smokey look at the screen, "Shall we see where this is going to lead?" Smokey sat beside Uncle Jesse excited to hear about their adventure in Jamaica.

The scene changes. Bo, Luke, and Daisy were enjoying the waters on the beach in Jamaica. The narrator states, "Right about this time, those Dukes Boys look like they're taking a tropical sabbatical." Bo and Luke were surfing the waves, while Daisy was using a parasail. "Woo! Hoo!" "Yee-Ha!" Bo and Luke both whooped having fun in the water. "Sure is nice to take a break from racing against Boss Hogg!" said Bo. "You said it cousin! Too bad there's no beaches like this back in Hazzard County!" said Luke. Daisy passed them on her parasail. "I never want to go home!"

"Hey, Daisy. Why didn't you get a surfboard?" asked Bo. "Too dangerous. I prefer this instead." answers Daisy. "Okay. Whatever floats your boat!" laughs Luke. As they were having the time of their lives riding the waves on the Jamaican Beach. Boss Hogg, their bassett hound Flash, and Roscoe P. Coltrane were spying on them. They too were in the waters, but instead of surf boards. Boss Hogg and Roscoe were floating on inner tubes. Their dog Flash barks as they see Bo, Luke, and Daisy.

"Who knows maybe they'll surf forever and we'll win that prize money by default!" Boss Hogg laughed. The narrator says, "Not too far behind, some very familiar foes were spying on them." Roscoe sees a huge wave coming before them and tries to warn Boss Hogg, "Uhhhh, boss! Boss!"

Boss Hogg hits Roscoe with his hat. "Quiet! Can't you see I'm busy getting the dibs on them?" "But...but...Boss! There's a huge wave coming at us!" Roscoe screeches in panic. "Quit making up stories, Roscoe. Now leave me alone!" Even Flash was alarmed by the wave.

Bo, Luke, and Daisy's fun comes to end, as they too were getting scared of the oncoming wave that was fastly approaching.

"Uhhh, Bo. Think we got some trouble up ahead." said Luke. "You're right! Let's try to swim to the shore!" Bo shouted. Bo, Luke, and Daisy were all carried away by the wave that eventually swept up Boss Hogg, Flash, and Roscoe along with them. The wave had taken them to back to the beach. Bo, Luke, and Daisy got up. "That was fun while it lasted." said Daisy. "Yep, back to business." said Bo. "Beach party's over." said Luke.

Roscoe tells Boss Hogg, "Now do you believe me about the wave?" Boss Hogg whips Roscoe with the hat, "Why didn't you say anything!" "I did! But, you didn't look!" Roscoe tells him. "Whatever, come on, and get back the race." said Boss Hogg.

Bo, Luke, and Daisy try to go back to their General Lee. Roscoe, Boss Hogg, and Flash were coming back to their police car. Only to have both cars get taken away by a construction crane. Bo, Luke, and Daisy run to see where the crane was coming from. With Boss Hogg, Flash, and Roscoe right behind them. That was until Boss Hogg runs into a wall that none of them notice was there. Boss Hogg yelped, "What in the....." Bo looks in awe at the stadium. "We'll have to go inside to get our cars back." Bo said looking at the stadium.

As soon as the five of them were about to enter, they were all stopped by a Jamaican guard. "Are you the owners of those cars?" asked the guard in a thick heavy Jamaican accent. "Yes, we are." said Luke.

"You want them back?" the guard asked. "Yes. You see we're in a race around the world for prize money to save our family farm back home in Hazzard County." explains Daisy.

The guard tells them straight out, "If you want your cars back, you'll all have to compete against our top athletes in Olympic style track and field sports!"

"This is an outrage! Boss Hogg don't do no athletics!" Boss Hogg rants. "Well, we'll never know until we try." said Roscoe. "SHUT UP, ROSCOE! You're just as clueless as the rest of us here!" Boss Hogg told off his officer for not knowing what type of doom was going to be ahead for tham all.

"Follow me," the guard tells them. Bo, Luke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, Roscoe, and Flash were being lead into a locker room. The guard hands them all sweat suits. "Put these on and meet us all out into the stadium." said the guard.

"Welp, looks like we're going to have to do this." said Bo feeling a little uneasy. "I just hope we win!" said Luke. "Don't you get it! We're not going to win!" Boss Hogg tells them. "You're right, Boss! We don't stand a chance against them! They're Olympic Athletes!" Roscoe carried on. From far away, they all see some Jamaican Athletes play all sorts of track and field style sports like experts.

"We'll just put on these sweat suits and see what it is what want us to do." said Luke. Minutes later, the five of them were all in sweat suits and entered the stadium. They all find themselves being greeted by Jamaican Athletes that were six times bigger than them. There was one who was the tallest who happend to be their leader. His name was General Sugarcane.

"Greetings," General Sugarcane said in a Jamaican accent, "I am General Sugarcane. I called you all here to this stadium is because I was looking for anyone who will challenge my athletes."

Bo whisperes at Luke, "I don't like this looks of this." "Not too crazy about it myself!" said Luke.

General Sugarcane continues, "Be quiet! I'll do the talking here! The reason I took your cars is that I've been watching your race around the world. For that, I want to see how well you guys will do without your cars to go up against my athletes."

Introducing all the other athletes pumping themselves up. Once they were finished working out, they all lined up alongside General Sugarcane. The Athletes all worked for General Sugarcane he said introducing them, "This is Chaos. His name is Mayhem. This gentlemen's name is Destroyer. These two are called Wrecking Ball, and Battering Ram! Each of you will do a track and field event with one of my athletes individually."

Roscoe asks, "Does Flash have to join?" General Sugarcane said, "No, he can be in the audience." "What happens if we win?" asked Daisy. "You get your cars back and assume your race around the world." "What if we lose?" asked Roscoe in a worried tone. "We keep your cars so we can ground them into sugar canes! Now, you and you will go first." General Sugarcane points at Bo who will go up against Chaos. "You're on!" said Luke with detemination. "We accept your challenge!" dares Boss Hogg.

"Very well! The sports shall now begin!" General Sugarcane says blowing a whistle.

Bo tells them, "If this is what he have to do get our cars back, we'll go for it!"

Boss Hogg rolls his eyes, "Why did we have to be dragged into this, too?"

"Aww, I don't like having to work together with the Duke Boys, boss." Roscoe whines.


The narrator says, "What in the world did those Duke Boys get themselves into? Do they have what it takes to defeat General Sugarcane and his goons?"

With Flash watching in the audience waving sports flags. Bo and Chaos were chosen to do the hurdle run. "You can do it, Bo!" cheers Luke. "We're doing this to get our cars back so we can win and save Uncle Jesse's farm!" Daisy cheers too.

Bo and Chaos were taking their places on the track. "Prepare to loose!" Chaos tells Bo in an intimidating voice in a Jamaican accent. General Sugarcane does the countdown, "5...4....3...2......1" Shooting a gun, Bo and Chaos were running. "This shouldn't be too hard. Did this in high school!" said Bo and then added on, "It'll come back to me like a second wind!"

"Don't be so sure!" Chaos warns Bo. Running against each other side by side, Bo reaches the hurdles and actually jumps over some. Chaos does the same, however was starting to get ahead of Bo. Chaos was running ahead towards the finish line, as was Bo who was finally catching up to Chaos in a neck and neck race. Bo outruns Chaos only to have Chaos spray some slippery liquid from a can as soon as Bo crossed the finish line. When Bo crossed the line, he won, but he fell flat on his face.

"Oh no! Bo!" gasps Daisy. "That wasn't fair!" Luke protested. General Sugarcane says, "Nothing in life is fair! This proves my theory so far!" Boss Hogg shouted, "What theory?" General Sugarcan answers, "You guys are nothing without your automobiles The blond one is next." Luke is now going to face Mayhem in the long jump. Luke points to the air, "We'll show you guys we are just as good without our cars!"

Mayhem leads Luke to the long jump. Luke runs to the sand where the long jump is and leaps into the air, "First, the perfect approach!" he says jumping a little far and into the sand. "One small step for the Dukes, and a giant leap for......" Mayhem out jumps Luke which causes him to fall, "....Perfect Leap! Ha! More like perfect flop!" Chaos laughs for he wins the long jump against Luke. General Sugarcane points to Daisy who will go up against Destroyer.

"You two are next. You will both compete in the swimming competition!" General Sugarcane tells Daisy and Destroyer. Both jump into the pool. Daisy swims trying to outshine Destroyer.

"I've always been the best swimmer in all of Hazzard County!" Daisy said with confidence.

Destroyer swam way ahead of Daisy while splashing her in the face. "Maybe, but as far as I'm concerned, you're all washed up!"

General Sugarcane clapped and said, "The winner is Destroyer! Come on, men! Let's take a break and regroup. 10 minutes!" General Sugarcane turns to Roscoe and Boss Hogg, "You two are going to compete against my toughest warriors! Wrecking Ball and Battering Ram!" "What event are we going to play?" asked Roscoe. "The weightlifting competiton!" evilly laughed General Sugarcane. Boss Hogg and Roscoe both gulp. Daisy staggered out of the pool. "These people are way too fast for us."

Boss Hogg said, "Something tells me these Jamaicans have an even bigger scheme in mind." Roscoe said, "Whatever it is, I don't want to find out!"

"Maybe we must. There's got to be a reason behind all this!" said Bo. "One of us should go check it out." said Luke. "You Dukes Boys are actually right for a chance. The sooner we find out what's really going on, the better chance we have at getting out of here!" Roscoe said.

Daisy volunteers, "I'll go." "Okay, good luck, Daisy. Be careful!" said Bo. "Don't let them see you!" said Luke.

"If there's one thing I'm good at without getting caught, it's snooping!" said Daisy who runs off to try to find out if these Jamaican Atheletes had an even bigger game.

Daisy sees General Sugarcane go into a room with Chaos, Mayhem, Destroyer, Wrecking Ball and Battering Ram. While she was running to the room, Daisy slipped and landed in another room. Searching around, Daisy sees some blueprints all around. Observing the blueprints, Daisy sees that the Olympic Events are rigged so that General Sugarcane and his athletes can win. Blueprints were shown for all the events. Hurdles, Long Jump, Swimming, and Weightlifting. Making it look easy at first, then having it be difficult later.

Even the liquid spray can was in the blueprints. "Oh no!" she said with fear. She sees a door in the room, goes to open it. Inside were the General Lee and Boss Hogg's Police Car. There was a sign attached to the General Lee that said, "After we turn these cars into sugar canes. We will turn these racers into our slaves so they can work all day in our sugar cane fields." Daisy gasps and whimpers as she learns that this was General Sugarcane's plan all along.

"So that's why we were brought here. All because we can lose on purpose. So these athletes can make us our servants so we can be forced to work all day in the sugar cane fields! I got to go tell Bo, Luke, and the others!" Daisy says rushing out of the room and back into the stadium. When Daisy returned to the stadium General Sugarcane confronts her, "Where have you been?" he asked her. "Uhhh, little girl's room?" Daisy said. "Fine, go back and join the others!" General Sugarcane ordered her. Daisy ran back into the stadium and rejoin her cousins, as she sees Roscoe and Boss Hogg staring at the long weightlifting barbells. "How are we supposed to lift these, Boss?" asked Roscoe. "What're you asking me for? I don't know nothing about weightlifting! The only weight I lift is a bucket of fried chicken!" Boss Hogg answers.

Bo and Luke see a terrorized look on Daisy's face. "What did you find out, Daisy?" asked Bo. "Did you find out cars?" asked Luke. Daisy was about to spill the beans to her cousins about everything she learned. Then a whistle is blown. General Sugarcane comes back into the stadium with Chaos, Mayhem, Destroyer, Wrecking Ball, and Battering Ram. "Back to the games! MOVE!" General Sugarcane shouts. Roscoe and Boss Hogg scrambled to the Olympic Barbells. Wrecking Ball and Battering Ram were ready.


Onto the weightlifting competition. Much to their surprise, Boss Hogg and Roscoe both were able to pick up the barbells. "Oh look at this boss! Maybe this isn't so hard after all!" Roscoe said with hope. "You're right. What were we so worried about? Let's see these Jamaicans try to top this!" Boss Hogg laughs.

Before they knew it, Roscoe and Boss Hogg were both being lifted by Wrecking Ball and Battering Ram. "We don't think so!" Wrecking Ball tells them. "Presence of the mind will get you nowhere!" Battering Ram said as he and Wrecking Ball both dropped Roscoe and Boss Hogg on the ground.

"OOOOOHHH! DEM DUKES!" Boss Hogg yelled in frustration. "Why are you blaming the Dukes for?" asked Roscoe. "It's all their fault we ended up in these Olympic sports to begin with." Boss Hogg screams.

Bo and Luke walk up to Boss Hogg and laugh, "This time we're not the ones causing trouble for you here." says Bo. "Yeah, we are you mad at us for? Get mad at General Sugarcane and his athletes, not us!" Luke said.

"I dunno. Just so used to blaming you guys, I guess." Boss Hogg said hanging his head shamefully. Daisy was about to announce to Bo, Luke, Roscoe, and Boss Hogg about what she's learned. That was until General Sugarcane stomped over to them all.

"You're down to one last event. Dukes of Hazzard! Then it's all over." General Sugarcane informs them.

"What event will that be?" asked Luke.

"You will all run around the track. Try to see if you can beat us in the ten lap run!" General Sugarcane said.

"ULP! TEN LAPS!" Roscoe yelled. "I can barely do five!" Boss Hogg said.

"Too bad! Go take your places at the track! This time you'll know compared to us athletes, you are nothing without your wheels!" General Sugarcane orders. Bo, Luke, Daisy, Roscoe, and Boss Hogg all took some spots at the track. Behind them Chaos, Mayhem, Destroyer, Wrecking Ball, and Battering Ram soon took their places on the track right behind them.

The narrator says, "Oh boy! What's going to happen now? Will Daisy tell everyone what General Sugarcane is really up to? Or will the Dukes, Roscoe and Boss Hogg be stuck in Jamaica forever and be slaving away in the sugar cane fields?"

"I hate to say this, but we are nothing without our cars against these Jamaican Athletes!" said Bo. General Sugarcane shoots the gun that started the track race.

An hour into the track race. Chaos, Mayhem, Destroyer, Wrecking Ball, and Battering Ram were way ahead of the Bo, Luke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, and Roscoe. Bo, Luke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, and Roscoe struggled and were unable to keep up with the Jamaican Athletes. Everyone was out of breath. "Could've at least gave us some water." Roscoe coughs. The race was only on the third lap. Bo and Luke decide that they have had it and were now planning an escape.

"Don't know how much more of this I can take." said Bo.

"Daisy, what about we sneak away and you show us where you found our cars?" asks Luke. "I'll be happy to." Daisy said. All of them were out of breath. Daisy leads them to the room where she saw their cars were. Lucky for them, the Jamaican Athletes didn't notice they all snuck away.

Boss Hogg catches his breath, "Wooo! Never had to run that fast before. You and Enos usually do my running for me!" Roscoe added, "You're telling me." Boss Hogg looks out at the track, "Good thing they didn't notice us getting away. They're too distracted. Kind of like somebody I know!" Roscoe moaned, "You're talking about me, ain't ya?" Daisy points, "Look, Bo and Luke!" Then she goes over to where the blueprints were. "See? They're cheating so we can lose on purpose!" Daisy said.

Bo was shocked, "Oh my gosh! That explains the slippery liquid that was used on me!" "It gets worse." said Daisy who had Bo, Luke, Roscoe, and Boss Hogg follow her to where the General Lee and Boss Hogg's Police Car was being kept.

Roscoe gapsed, "They want to turn our cars into sugar canes!" Boss Hogg said, "They gonna make us slave in their sugar cane fields, too?" "Exactly," Daisy tells them all.

Luke said, "This is a good as time as ever to make our move!" "Yes, let's get our cars and get outta Jamaica once and for all!" said Bo. "And get back to our around the world race!" said Daisy.

Bo, Luke, and Daisy all got into their General Lee as did Boss Hogg and Roscoe in their police car. Soon both cars were driving out onto the track. Flash comes down from the audience to join Boss Hogg and Roscoe. "Good boy, Flash!" said Boss Hogg. "Now, let's show these Olympic Athletes who's boss!" said Bo.

General Sugarcane sees the General Lee and the Police Car speed around the tracks. "What in the world!?" Chaos, Mayhem, Destructor, Wrecking Ball, and Battering Ram were confused as ever when they see the Dukes and Boss Hogg ride around in circles on the track.

"YYYYEEEEEEE! HHHHHHHAAAAAA!" Bo and Luke cheered. "You ain't makin' no sugar cane worker's outta us!" Boss Hogg yelled out.

"What is the meaning of this!" General Sugarcane demanded. "They must've found out our plans for them!"

"How do you like us, now?" Luke laughs. "Eat out dust!" Bo said.

"Get back here! Get back here! How dare you defy us!" General Sugarcane shouted raising his fists.

Chaos, Mayhem, Destructor, Wrecking Ball, and Battering Ram found themselves dizzy and coughing the fumes from the General Lee and Police Car.

Bo suggests, "Shall we make our escape?" "Go for it!" Luke cheers.

The General Lee was running at high speeds, until it jumped out of the studium and the car horn that played the first few notes of Dixie blared. Boss Hogg's police car soon did the same. The Jamaican Athletes were shaking their fists in the air.

General Sugarcane swore revenge, "I'll get you for this, Dukes of Hazzard! Even if it takes me the rest of my life! You'll pay for ruining our plans!" Exiting the studium, they all left General Sugarcane and his Jamaican Atheletes behind. Afterwords, The General Lee and Police Car were driving along the beach and into a sugar cane field. "Want to grab some of these sugar canes?" asked Bo. "Sure, let's do it!" said Luke. "We'll send some to Uncle Jesse!" said Daisy. Grabbing as many sugar canes as they could. Bo drove the General Lee out of the sugar cane field and were making their way out of Jamaica.

Getting back on the roads and returning to the race, Boss Hogg was whapping Roscoe with his hat again, "Go faster! Go faster! Catch up to them!" "I'm trying!" Roscoe whines. Bo, Luke, and Daisy agree that it was good to have Boss Hogg and Roscoe be rivals again.

"Isn't this great?" asked Bo. "To have Boss Hogg and Roscoe be our enemies, again! You bet!" laughs Luke. Bo thanks Daisy, "Thank you for helping us all get away back there." "You're welcome. You would've done the same for me." said Daisy. "Now where to next?" asked Bo. "How about Bermuda Triangle?" joked Luke. "Think we had enough tropics for one day." Bo laughs. To get out of the path of Boss Hogg's Police Car, The General Lee soared into the air once again. Behind them was a sign that reads, "NOW LEAVING JAMAICA." Boss Hogg and Roscoe make their police car jump into the air then land in a mud trap.

"Sorry Boss! I tried to catch up to them. Honestly! I didn't know that mud was there...." Roscoe begged.

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!! DEM DUKES!" Boss Hogg screams at the sky. Flash tries to reassure them both.

The narrator concludes, "Those Dukes Boys are all correct about one thing. They're better off being enemies with Boss Hogg and Roscoe rather than have to work together with them!"

The scene changes back to Hazzard County at Uncle Jesse's house on his front porch reading Daisy's postcard. "...and that was how we managed to skadaddle our way out of a life of sugar cane servitude." Smokey claps when Uncle Jesse was finished reading the postcard. "Did you like that story, Smokey?" asked Uncle Jesse.

Smokey goes to play with some sugar canes that Bo, Luke, and Daisy mailed to Uncle Jesse. "Enjoying those sugar canes a little too much, hey, Smokey." Uncle Jesse laughs as he sits back and waits patiently for Bo, Luke, and Daisy to come back to Hazzard County from their Around the World Race to win prize money to save Uncle Jesse's family farm from being foreclosed on by the likes of Boss Hogg.

"Well that's the end of this story. Wonder where Bo, Luke, and Daisy will go to next?" Uncle Jesse says to the screen. Smokey waves goodbye until next time.

The End

The Proceeding Has Been a Narwhal Puppy Production!

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