Categories > Books > Chronicles of Narnia

Emperor of the Lone Islands, etc.

by peitho_x 0 reviews

[One-shot] Peter and Edmund are getting used to being kings; we find out where the extremely superfluous letter-writing comes from.

Category: Chronicles of Narnia - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Published: 2020-08-08 - 547 words - Complete

0Unrated
Peter frowned at the paper in front of him. It was blank except for the first line: ‘To the honourable rulers of Ettinsmoor,’

Apparently, there was a kingdom of giants to the north of Narnia. The members of the council had recommended he write them a letter informing them of the changes and offer possible allegiance.

He looked outside; the sun was shining and he knew Lucy and Susan were out riding. How he wished he could join them.

“C’mon Pete!” Edmund chastised from across the table. “This is important.”

“Yes, I know,” Peter sighed. “I just don’t know how to write an official letter like this.”

“You just need to think like a king.”

“Gee, thanks Ed,” Peter said sarcastically. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“You must start with your titles like Lord Odall’s said in his lessons,” said Edmund. “And make them sound as impressive as possible.”

“I don’t want to seem arrogant.”

“You’re the High King, you can afford to be arrogant.”

“Fine,” Peter leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. “‘High King Peter of Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands, to the-’”

“Wait,” Edmund interrupted. “You forgot some.”

Peter sat up. “How do you know so much about all this?”

Edmund shrugged. “I’ve been speaking with Lord Ridrasil and reading. Miraculously, many books in the library survived the Long Winter. Anyways,” he continued. “You’re also a knight of Aslan and the Lord of Cair Paravel.”

“Very well: ‘High King Peter-’”

“Maybe ‘Peter, king over all the kings in Narnia.’”

Peter glared at his brother.

“Sorry,” said Edmund. “Continue.”

Sighing, Peter continued. “‘Peter, king over all the kings of Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel and Knight of the Order of Aslan,” he looked at Edmund expectantly.

“Very good. ‘Order of Aslan,’ I like it.”

“‘To the honourable rulers of Ettinsmoor, greetings. I-”

“We.”

“We?”

“You’re a king, you use the royal ‘we.’”

He tried not to roll his eyes and continued. “‘We write to you to extend an offer of friendship between our respective lands. With the former usurper, Jadis — otherwise known as the White Witch — defeated, we wish to restore any alliances that may have…” He paused. “Dissolved?”

“Mmm, maybe ‘crumbled,’” Edmund suggested.

Peter nodded. “‘...that may have crumbled during her rule.”

“‘This letter is sent in the hands of our brother Edmund, king under us in Narnia,’” Edmund continued, ignoring Peter’s protestations. “‘We entrust him and his accompanying advisors to discuss any arrangements that may result from a relationship between us.’”

“You most certainly are not going to Ettinsmoor!”

“Why not? You cannot, and sending only a councillor would seem to be an insult.” He rolled his eyes. “Honestly, do you not pay any attention in Lord Odall’s lessons?”

“I do!” Peter protested. “I just find it difficult to remember everything.” He ignored Edmund’s exasperated noises and continued. “Very well, but you will get titles as well. What about: ‘Duke of Lantern Waste, Lord of the Big Oak Tree in the Village Square, and Earl of Fat-headed-ness.’”

Edmund threw a wad of paper at him and Peter ducked it, laughing. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I’ll only do the first one!"
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