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Detective Chester Lake stood frozen in shock as he watched the normally strong as steel Detective Olivia Benson fall apart right before his eyes after witnessing the suicide of FBI Agent Lauren Cooper. She let go of his hand and stumbled over to the far wall, just sobbing her heart out. Lake did the only thing he could think of. After calling CSU and the M.E. he placed one more call.
"Stabler," said the voice on the other end.
"Elliot, you need to get down here now. Your partner needs you," Lake insisted.
"What happened?" was Elliot's concerned reply.
"We just witnessed a suicide. Agent Cooper just blew her brains out right in front of us. It happened too fast to stop her. When it happened, Liv.... well she just... crumbled. I guess it was the shock but...." Lake began to explain.
"Where are you?" Elliot interrupted.
Lake sighed. "Cooper's appartment. Warner just got here and CSU is on the way....wait, scratch that. They just arrived."
"I'm on my way. Keep an eye on her until I get there," ordered Elliot
"Will do, Detective," was Lake's quick reply.
Elliot turned to Munch. "Tell Cragen I'm following up on a lead. Then I'm heading back home."
Munch didn't beleive him for a moment, but wisely decided not to push the issue.
When Elliot arrived at Cooper's appartment building, Warner was just coming out behind the gurney holding the body.
He rushed up to the ME. "Doc, where is she?"
Warner looked at the detective with a haunted expression on her face. "She's upstairs, just outside the appartment. Elliot, she's in major shock. She's just squating on the floor out there, in her own world. She's calmer than she was when I got here, but now she's just staring into space. I've never seen her like this, El. Honestly, it scared me. Go to her. Make sure she gets home. She shouldn't be alone like this."
Elliot's eyes widened and he ran into the building calling back, "Thanks, Doc!"
As he rushed up the stairs, he was terrified of the condition he might find his partner in.
When he reached Cooper's floor, he found Olivia just as Warner had described. Lake came out of the appartment and met him in the hall. "She's been sitting like that for awhile now. Once she stopped crying, she just sat out here in a trance. She's been like this ever since."
"Ok. Thanks for staying with her, Man. I'll take it from here. Get back to the presinct and let them know I'm taking Liv home. Just don't give anymore details than you absolutely need to," Elliot requested giving the other man a friendly clap on the shoulder. Lake nodded and, with one more concerned look at Olivia, he headed down the hall and out of the building.
Elliot knelt down in front of his best friend. "Liv?"
When he didn't receive a response, he put a gentle hand to her cheek and repeated, "Liv?"
This time she slowly looked up and blinked at him several times, as if just waking up and becoming aware of her surroundings.
Elliot gave her a sad smile. "Come on. Let's get you home."
Olivia allowed her best friend to help her up and lead her out of the building. He got her into his car and drove to her appartment.
Once Elliot got Olivia inside, He sat her down on her couch and softly told her, "I'm going to make you some tea. Again there was no response, so he got a mug and a bag of her favorite flavor of tea. After it was brewed, he carried it over to her and she gratefully accepted it.

After taking a sip, She spoke for the first time since he had found her. "You should go,El. You've got a wife and new baby at home. I'll be fine."
Elliot shook his head."Liv, you're still shaking. You're not fine. Kathy has Dickie and Lizzie to help her. I'm not going anywhere for awhile. I don't feel good about leaving you alone."
Olivia glared at her partner. "I told you I'll be fine. It's not like Cooper and I were close. I'm sad that she felt like suicide was the only way out, but I'll move on."
Elliot sat next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Liv, you witnessed someone you know blow their brains out right in front of you. That's not something you can just get over. Olivia, It's ok not to be ok. I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk. If you don't want to talk right now, that's fine, but I'm sticking around. I'm here, Liv. Whenever you're ready to let me in. For tonight, though, I'm staying here to help you feel safe and so you remember you're not alone."
Olivia listened to her friends words, and by the time he finished, she had tears in her eyes.
"I-I could have stopped it. I should have checked for her other gun. I shouldn't have assumed she had given me the only gun she had. I knew she wasn't thinking clearly. If I had just arrived a few minutes sooner, I could have acessed the situation better. I could have prevented what happened," she lamented
"Liv, you know that's not true. Lake was there with you. he told me what happened. She was fast. She wanted to die. There was no way you could have stopped her."
Olivia nodded slowly and then continued. "After it happened, I was in shock. I just had a complete meltdown right there in front of Lake. I couldn't even get myself under control by the time Melinda and CSU arrived. All I could do was stand there as tears ran down my face. I was a mess."
"You're human. It happens," Elliot assured his partner.
Olivia let out a snort of disgust and snapped, "I'm a cop,Elliot. I behaved unprofessionately today. I mean, you said yourself years ago, 'There's no crying in baseball.' Same goes for the job."
Elliot encouraged the woman to look at him before saying, "I was wrong about that,Liv. Your compassion and empathy for the victims and for people in general is what makes you one of the best at this job. I really admire that about you. I'm honored to be your partner and witness this part of you everyday."
"But I had a total breakdown. If Cragen finds out, he'll put me on leave and force me to see the burreau shrink," Olivia insisted.
Elliot rubbed her back soothingly and inquired, "Would that be such a bad thing? Maybe it would be good for you to talk to someone. Not at the presinct, nessisarily. You could go to Dr. Lindstrom. I'm here to support you in all of this, but seeing a professional doesn't make you week. It means you need to get rid of the baggage weighing you down so you can remain strong."
Olivia understood what he was telling her. She realized he must have dealt with issues,too. "When did you go to Dr. Lindstrom?" she asked gently.
Elliot shrugged. "A few years ago when I lost my temper after that case in 2005. I went back during that time you and I were separated. After that case when we lost that kid. It really did help."
"I'll think about it. Right now my mind is racing and I'm exausted at the same time. The guilt won't.... won't allow me to..." Olivia began only to break down in tears before she could complete the sentence. She sobbed into her hands as Elliot pulled her toward him.
She slowly wrapped her arms around her partner and burried her face in his chest. Elliot held her and let her just cry it all out until she had no tears left.
"It's ok,Liv. Let it out. I've got you. It's just you and me. No one else has to know. Let it out," Elliot soothed softly.
"I'm sorry," Olivia rasped out. Elliot held her tighter and kept rocking her back and forth.
"Shhh. It's ok. You'll get through this. You're strong. One of the strongest women I know. Everyone has their breaking point and you've finally reached yours. I'm not going anywhere. Just let it go." Upon hearing those words and feeling safe with her partner, Olivia sobbed harder. They stayed like that for at least twenty minutes until Elliot heard his friend's breathing even out. Elliot looked down at the woman in his arms and realized her eyes were closed. He continued to hold her thinking she had cried herself to sleep.
A moment later, however, Olivia sat up and reached for her box of kleenex on the coffee table. Elliot grabbed it for her and she took a tissue out and wiped her tears away.
"Feel better?"
Liv shrugged but nodded ever so slightly. "I'm a little hungry. It's gotta be about dinner-time."
Elliot gave a small smile. "I'll order us some take-out."
They made small talk as they waited for the delivery, but when it arrived, it was eaten in silence. Eventually, Olivia's eyes started to feel heavy and she felt a headache coming on.
Elliot put an arm around her shoulder again as he softly urged."Liv, you are exausted. Let's get you into your bed. I'm staying on the couch tonight. I called Kathy while the tea was brewing. I told her I needed to stay in Manhatten tonight. I didn't give her any details."
"El, I don't need a baby-sitter, Olivia grumbled.
"I'll just feel better if you have someone with you just for tonight. You shouldn't be alone," Elliot pressed.
His partner rolled her eyes but relented, secretly relieved that she wouldn't be alone with her guilt and nightmares. She got some pajama's from her dresser and went to take a shower and brush her teath. When she returned, Elliot helped her get into bed and pulled the covers over her.
"Get some sleep. I'll be right out there in the living room," he promised.
As he turned to leave the room, Olivia reached out and grabbed his hand. "El?"
He turned back towards her. "Yeah, Liv?"
She gave him a tired smile. "Thanks."
At his questioning look, she clarified, "Thanks for being so damn stubborn and staying tonight. I guess I can admit that I honestly didn't want to be alone with my thoughts and the images in my head tonight."
The man bent over and stroked his friend's hair before kissing her forehead. "Anytime, Partner. Anytime. G'night."
"G'night,El," Olivia murmured. With that, she was asleep before her best friend had even made it out of the room. Elliot exited to the living room and sat on the couch,turning on the television at a low volume. His mind was more on Olivia than the show,though. He knew she'd get past this,eventually. In the mean time, he would support her in the only way he knew. By reminding her and much as she needed that she wasn't alone. Tonight, he'd sat with her and let her release her emotions. He would stay with her for tonight and after that, he would be the best friend he could be by giving her the support she needed and helping her get any extra counciling she would need. That was what partners and best friends were for.

Hope you all enjoyed my first SVU story! Thanks for reading!