FicWad

Story: Family Grind Radio
by: Zoey Webber



A futuristic looking city appears. Then a caption reads: FAMILY GRIND RADIO. A voice is heard and it's that of DJ Professor Jerome.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: FAMILY GRIND RADIO! Another caption reads, "Press Start". A beeping sound is heard. A narrator was now talking explaining the story.

NARRATOR: It is the year 2180. Somewhere in New England. There is a city that cannot be found on any map called Quahog-og. But everyone just calls it Quahog. The two hottest things on the streets of Quahog-og are the punks wearing magnetically driven in-line skates powers by a newly developed 'netrium' batteries and Jet Set Radio. A pirate radio station manned by the DJ Professor Jerome.

That plays nothing but no stop hard core music. Those street punks have been called Freaking Sweets. This said gang is lead by a madman named Peter Griffin. They roam the streets and cover the city with their personal graffiti. Claiming that it is their way of expressing themselves to the world. However, ever since the authorities have been on Freaking Sweets tail. The police captain Stewie Griffin and his second in command Brian Griffin and their head deputy Chris Griffin are determined to capture them and put them all behind bars for good.

The streets of Quahog-og are ready to explode!

On a hidden alleyway. There were the Freaking Sweets. They were having a meeting about how they were going to plan out their day. Their day of vandalizing the streets of Quahog-og. Peter Griffin was in front of them all who were all in line waiting to hear what he has planned for the streets of Quahog-og.

In his gang were Lois, Bonnie, Joe, Quagmire, Donna, and Cleveland.

PETER: OKay. All right. Good morning fellow Freaking Sweets! Who's ready for some good old fashioned spraypaint vandalism?

LOIS: Hey you! I sure am!

JOE: Send me out there!

CLEVELAND: Now hold on. Peter's our leader. So it's up to him to see who's going out there.

PETER: You bet your black ass I'm your leader.

QUAGMIRE: Who are you going to pick? How about me?

PETER: Hmm. Let's see here. Today, Joe and Donna are going to do some vandalizing.

JOE: YES! ALL RIGHT!

DONNA: Oooh! Sweet mama here I come!

PETER: Now, I'm trusting you both with this. Go out there and spray paint without the cops being on your tail? Got it?

DONNA: Yeah, we get it.

JOE: Come on! LET'S DO IT!

BONNIE: Uhh, what if they get caught?

LOIS: We haven't been yet. Have you thought of a plan for that?

PETER: Ehhh, well. Go out and look for them I guess. Man I have not thought that one though.

LOIS: Ha! That's your only flaw with being our leader. Never think ahead.

Joe and Donna go out into the city. They use their roller blades to skate on the streets. Also do some moves on railings.

DONNA: WOO HOO HOO!

JOE: YEAH ALL RIGHT! YEAH!

Up ahead they see some spray paint cans.

DONNA: Oh look!

JOE: Exactly what we need.

DONNA: Peter Griffin sure is a great leader.

JOE: I know right. Because of him we haven't been arrested yet.

Doings flips in the air and jumping on cars. People were really upset and angry with them.

MORT: This is a street! Not a skate park!

HERBERT: God dammit! You ruined my trip to the playgrounds to sell candy to kids!

Both of them were having a hard time trying to find a place to spray paint.

JOE: Shit! Where are the walls?

DONNA: We should've seen one by now.

Little did they realize. Around the corner. A mile away, The Police Captain Stewie Griffin was watching them in their police car. Brian and Chris were in the back seat. Chris was eating donuts.

BRIAN: Captain Stewie? Do you see them?

STEWIE: Two of them. Got you both in my sights assholes!

CHRIS: Pretty soon our city of Quahog-og will be free of those cocksucking punks!

Putting the keys into the ignition, Stewie proceeds to chase Joe and Donna.

STEWIE: Time to put down the donut, Chris.

CHRIS: Aww. I don't want to bust punks on an empty stomach!

BRIAN: Just do what he says.

STEWIE: That's right. The reason why I'm in charge. No time for fucking around! We're going to get them this time!

Joe and Donna finally reached a place in the city where there were walls from buildings. These buildings had businesses that ran out of money a long time ago. Such as the Pawtucket Brewery and the Stop and Shop.

DONNA: Perfect!

JOE: Want to go first? Or should I?

Donna and Joe both spray painted at the same time. Joe spray paints the word CAPS on the wall of the former Pawtucket Brewery. While Donna spray painted FUNKY on the wall of the Stop N Shop. Police sirens were right behind them.

JOE: Holy fuck!

DONNA: It's the cops! But how?

After they were done spray painting. Joe and Donna now found themselves being chased by a cop car that was driven by Stewie Griffin. Despite their roller blades being hi tech. Joe and Donna found themselves being out of breath.

JOE: I can't go on.

DONNA: Come on! Gotta keep moving! We can't let down Peter Griffin!

JOE: I know! But I....can't help myself....

DONNA: Don't slow down now....

Joe collapses on the street.

DONNA: Oh no! Joe! Don't give out on us now!

Stewie Griffin then runs Joe's legs over with his police car.

JOE: OOUUCCHH! MY LEGS! MY LEGS!

DONNA: My gosh! You're a cripple now.

Stewie, Brian, and Chris exit their police car.

DONNA: It's the cops.

JOE: COPS! Convince them to take me to a hospital!

STEWIE: Are you guys part of the Freaking Sweets?

DONNA: We ain't ever heard of any Freaking Sweets!

BRIAN: Oh really? Thanks to modern 21 Century Technology. Our police computer has lots of information on your gang. You're Joe Swanson and Donna Brown.

JOE: Whatever you do. I need a hospital and a doctor. Not a jail cell.

CHRIS: Too bad!

BRIAN: It doesn't matter if you're injured after committing a crime.

STEWIE: Hands behind your backs! You're both under arrest.

Joe and Donna were detained by Stewie Griffin.

STEWIE: According to my police rule book, you get a jail cell even if you do get hurt while committing a crime.

JOE: But you ran me over! Thanks to you, I'll never be able to walk again. Let alone skate!

STEWIE: Anything to slow you down.

JOE: That's police brutality!

BRIAN: No one will sympathize with a low life gang member you son of a bitch!

DONNA: Oh man. I hate to know what's ahead for us.

Once Joe and Donna were in the police car. Stewie drives them to the Quahog Police Station. A few hours later. Peter Griffin was wondering what was taking Joe and Donna so long.

LOIS: Where could they be?

PETER: We should've heard from them by now.

CLEVELAND: I know!

QUAGMIRE: Would you know what happened to Joe and Donna?

CLEVELAND: Maybe you ought to tell DJ Professor Jerome where Joe and Donna are.

PETER: Great idea! He might know what to do!

LOIS: Good thing he has a secret underground lair!

Peter, Lois, Cleveland, Quagmire, and Bonnie all skated down a flight of stairs that leads to the underground lair of DJ Professor Jerome. Upon entering the lair. DJ Professor Jerome was doing some DJ moves on record players.

BONNIE: Uhhh, DJ Professor?

A record needle scratch is heard. DJ Professor Jerome turns to see the Freaking Sweets.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Hey. What's happening! It's my favorite faithful followers! The Freaking Sweets!

PETER: Hope we didn't come at a bad time.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: No way. Anytime is a good time. What can I do you for?

LOIS: We sent Joe and Donna to do some spray paint graffiti.

CLEVELAND: This time they didn't come back.

BONNIE: So we came to you for advice.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Probably they may have gotten lost. Quahog-og is big city.

PETER: Go on.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Or the cops must have them.

LOIS: Oh no. That would be so awful.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: What I am going to do is this.

PETER: Go on...

CLEVELAND: Tell us. We'll do anything!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: I shall send each and every one of you to different parts of the city.

LOIS: Okay that's cool.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Peter, you will take the residential areas.

PETER: Aww sweet! Maybe in between I can break into people houses and watch TV and drink beer!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: I love your sense of humor Peter. Cleveland. You'll go down to the ghetto.

CLEVELAND: Oh come on! Just because I'm black I gotta go to the ghetto?

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: I'm black too. What's the difference.

CLEVELAND: I'll do it.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Bonnie you will go to the metropolitan area. Lois, you will go where the shopping centers used to be.

BONNIE: Sure I can do that.

LOIS: So can I!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Quagmire. You will go down to the red light district!

QUAGMIRE: YEAH! All right! Giggity! Giggity! Giggity!

LOIS: Peh! Typical! Quagmire excited about a red light district!

BONNIE: You're telling me!

PETER: Ready Freaking Sweets! We'll take to the streets!

The Freaking Sweets lead by Peter Griffin all skated up the stairs and of the underground lair. The Freaking Sweets split up into their assigned places in Quahog-og.


In the residential neighborhood in Quahog-og called Spooner Street. Peter Griffin the Freaking Sweets leader was jumping from roof to roof on his rollerblades looking for somewhere to display his graffiti.

PETER: Man, I love being the leader of a vandal gang! Hmmmm. Now where's a good place to begin?

Jumping down from the house. Peter stops to try to find a place to display his graffiti. Still not forgetting about trying to look for Joe and Donna in the process.

PETER: Ahh, what the fuck! I'll spray paint all of them!

Going over to Joe's old house. Peter spray paints a picture of a bird on the side of Joe's old house. Under the bird picture, Peter writes "IS THE WORD" in hip hop style letters. Peter laughs at what he did.

PETER: Really wish DJ Professor Jerome would play Bird Is The Word on his pirate radio station.

Just for the hell of it, Peter even looks inside Joe's house to see if he had returned home.

PETER: Not a sign of him.

Proceeding to spray graffiti all over the house's on Spooner Street. Peter keeps spray painting the same graffiti. On all the houses. A picture of a Bird and underneath the words "IS THE WORD" in hip hop style letters. Peter soon accidentally spray paints his Bird is The Word graffiti on a teenage girl. Who was standing in front of the former Griffin house. Now covered in spray paint.

MEG: YOU BASTARD! Look what you did to me!! Now I'm all covered in spray paint! My gosh ! I'm hideous! I look like a monster!

PETER: SHUT UP MEG!

Farting in Meg's face after he speeds off. Peter was Roller blading in fast speeds leaving Meg in the dust. Peter calls Bonnie and Lois on his intergalactic phone.

PETER: What's the situation, Bonnie and Lois!

LOIS: We still haven't found Joe or Donna yet. Not here in the shopping district.

BONNIE: They're not here in the metropolitan area either.

PETER: Well keep looking!

LOIS: We will Peter!

Peter continued to look around the residential area. Lois was in the shopping district. She was spray painting pictures of flasks and flowers.

LOIS: Who says vandalism has to be violent?

Spray painting pictures on the walls of stores and malls. Lois jumps and flips all over the shopping area.

LOIS: Hey, Mom and Dad! I'm part of a roller blading vandal gang that's lead by Peter Griffin that guy you both hate so much! How do you like me now!

Flipping the middle finger in the air. A jaywalker who was Dr Hartman looks at her funny.

DR. HARTMAN: Uhh, who are you talking to?

LOIS: Yo mama!

Laughing like a maniac, Lois speeds away on her roller blades while sliding down stair rails. At the Quahog Police Station. Joe and Donna were sitting miserably in a holding cell. Joe was now in a wheelchair. Chris was gloating all over them.

CHRIS: This is your new home for the next 30 days.

DONNA: We do deserve a fair trial you know.

CHRIS: No you don't. Should've thought about that before you did anything illegal! You do the crime you do the time! Just hope the judge goes easy on you!

JOE: Bad enough I have to be in the this wheelchair. I NEED A HOSPITAL NOT A JAIL CELL!

DONNA: Guess we better hope that the Freaking Sweets will bail us out somehow.

JOE: Being in this wheelchair I'll never skate again and I'll be letting Peter and the Freaking Sweets down.

Bonnie who was at the metropolitan area was rolling blading on buses going down the traffic. Bonnie was looking for a place to spray paint. Lots of people riding their cars were very angry at her.

BONNIE: I wonder if I can spray some graffiti on a traffic light?

Jumping into the air and doing a flip while landing. Bonnie was spray painting the traffic light a rainbow of colors. Pissing off drivers!

DRIVERS: We need that traffic light! What do you think you're doing there, cunt!

Bonnie then taunted the drivers by doing an exotic dance while using the pole that holds the traffic lights up as a balance beam. The male drivers were soon enjoying what they are seeing.

MALE DRIVERS: All right! A strip tease! Take it off! Skate naked for us!

BONNIE: Guess my exotic dancer days have really paid off!

Meanwhile at the Red Light District. Quagmire was beating up pimps while spray painting sexually explicit graffiti on the walls. Was now doing a happy dance.

QUAGMIRE: This is my horny dance! Giggity Giggity Giggity! Yeah! heh heh! All right!

When his happy dance was done, Stewie was watching over the Freaking Sweets on his radar screen.

STEWIE: BLAST! What the deuce! They're still going strong.

BRIAN: I know! Even after we captured two of them!

Back in the Red Light District. Quagmire was doing some roller bladering moves then skates off to try to find more walls to vandalize!

QUAGMIRE: I seriously doubt Joe would be around here. But Bonnie might be. I know. I'll call Cleveland.

Going on his intergalactic phone. Quagmire phones Cleveland who was in the ghetto. While in the ghetto. Cleveland was jumping up on the stairs on his roller blades.

CLEVELAND: YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

Looking around, Cleveland sees no sign of Joe or Donna.

CLEVELAND: Damn! Where the hell could've Donna have gone? Joe I don't care for so much. But Donna!

His intergalatic phone rings and Cleveland answers it. Quagmire was on the other end.

QUAGMIRE: Hey, Cleveland.

CLEVELAND: Oh hey, Glenn.

QUAGMIRE: Did you finally find Joe and Donna yet?

CLEVELAND: Nope not a trace of them.

QUAGMIRE: Come on down to the red light district I think I might know where they have gone.

CLEVELAND: Okay I'll be there. Just want to mark my territory here first!

Agreeing to meet Quagmire in the red light district. Cleveland uses spray paint to vandalize the stairs. His graffiti was a picture of a black panther. Cleveland was now on his way to the red light district. Now arriving at the red light district, Cleveland sees Quagmire there.

QUAGMIRE: Good. I'm glad you came.

CLEVELAND: You say you might know where Joe and Donna are.

QUAGMIRE: Exactly. Remember when DJ Professor Jerome had a theory that they were arrested.

CLEVELAND: Yes.

QUAGMIRE: Maybe he's right. Why else couldn't we find them anywhere, correct.

CLEVELAND: I agree. Do you have some sort of plan?

Quagmire takes out some chlorform that was in a gas grenade.

CLEVELAND: Wow! Peter never would've thought about that.

QUAGMIRE: I know, right. We'll just use this chloroform bomb on the police station and spring out friends out of the joint! You won't believe all this stuff they have at the red light district to drug cheap hookers! OH!

CLEVELAND: Okay cool. We'll get everyone else to help us too.

Quagmire and Cleveland reached Peter on their intergalactic phone. Peter answers it.

PETER: You have reached the leader of The Freaking Sweets! Peter Griffin speaking.

QUAGMIRE: Hey, Peter.

PETER: Oh hey, Quagmire. Did you find Joe and Donna yet?

QUAGMIRE: No but I have a feeling they've gotten arrested.

CLEVELAND: Yeah, none of us have seen any sign of either of them.

PETER: Okay......

QUAGMIRE: So I got a chloroform bomb and we all can use it on the police station.

PETER: That idea is Holy Freaking Awesome! I'll get a hold of Lois and Bonnie!

To put their plan into action. Cleveland and Quagmire wait for Peter to come to the red light district. After a half an hour, Peter came with Lois and Bonnie. The three of them entered by doing flips and jumps.

LOIS: I don't feel right coming here.

BONNIE: Oh come on, Lois. It's not that bad. Hell, I put on a strip tease on top of a traffic light!

LOIS: So, what's this plan you have, Quagmire?

QUAGMIRE: We go to the police station and throw this chloroform bomb.

CLEVELAND: But first we need to see if Joe and Donna were are in there.

PETER: Listen up Freaking Sweets, off to the police station we go!

LOIS: Gosh I hate those cops. They think we're a bunch of degenerate criminals.

BONNIE: You're telling me. All we're doing is expressing ourselves freely.

QUAGMIRE: I like to express myself freely. In other ways....

CLEVELAND: Come on! Are we going to Police Station or what?

PETER: Yes we are! Follow me!

Lois, Bonnie, Quagmire, and Cleveland all followed Peter to the police station. On their way Peter, Lois, Bonnie, Cleveland, and Quagmire were skating down stairs, jumping onto trucks, flipping in the air, and even spray painted their signature graffiti anywhere they pleased.

Arriving at the police station. Peter sneaks around and peeps through the windows to see if Joe and Donna were being held. DJ Professor Jerome's instincts were right on.

PETER: Holy freaking crap! They did get arrested!

LOIS: How are we going to get inside?

CLEVELAND: Pretty obvious we all can't.

Inside the police station, Stewie, Brian and Chris all see the Freaking Sweets standing outside.

CHRIS: Captain Stewie. I think you ought to come see this!

STEWIE: What is it?

BRIAN: My god. It's the Freaking Sweets.

STEWIE: Perhaps they want to turn themselves in.

CHRIS: That's wishful thinking.

STEWIE: Well, well. If it isn't my formable enemies the Freaking Sweets! If you know what's good for all of you.

Quagmire gets ready to throw the chloroform bomb as Stewie shouts out to them.

BONNIE: And......NOW!

Throwing the chloroform bomb, it lands square on the police station. Brian, Chris and Stewie soon found themselves going into a deep sleep.

BONNIE: Yes! It worked!

PETER Let's go free out incarcerated friends!

Skating inside the police station, Peter tries to find a holding cell. After passing a few empty ones. Peter finally finds Joe and Donna.

JOE: PETER!

DONNA: SO glad to see you!

Peter uses his strength to bend the bars on the holding cell. Donna walks out carrying Joe.

JOE: One of those police cars ran me over. Now I'm a cripple. What good am I to you all now?

DONNA: You know. DJ Professor Jerome can help you. He has some prostetic legs just in case one of us gets crippled.

PETER: You're both free! But before we go. Let's give our police friends a little surprise when they get up.

Exiting the police station as Donna was carrying Joe. Peter calls out to the rest of the Freaking Sweets.

PETER: Joe and Donna are free!

LOIS: ALL RIGHT!

QUAGMIRE: GIGGITY! GIGGITY!

BONNIE: That's wonderful.

PETER: But Joe is a cripple now.

CLEVELAND: Ohhh. That's nasty.

JOE: Yeah. Fucking rub it in why don't you!

PETER: What do you all say we give these corrupt cops what they deserve!

BONNIE: What do you suggest we do?

PETER: What we always do! Vandalize!

LOIS: YEAH!

DONNA: LET'S GO FOR IT!

Clamouring around. Using lots of spray paint cans as they possibly could. Peter spray paints a picture of a bird and with hip hop style lettering "IS THE WORD". Peter does this 10 times over.

LOIS: Sheesh Peter! Save some wall for some of us!

PETER: Yeah, sure. Of course Lois!

Cleveland spray painted the black panther he did from before. Quagmire kept spray painting the words Giggity along with some sexually explicit graffiti. Lois did flowers with some swear words like "FUCK" "SHIT" "ASS". Bonnie spray painted a rainbow full of colors. Once they were all done. They were proud of the 'artwork' they had left behind.

QUAGMIRE: Captain Stewie is in for a major surprise when he wakes up!

Inside the police station. Brian, Stewie, and Chris were slowly waking up. A mysterious shadow walks in and stands over the three. Stewie looks at the shadow.

STEWIE: AVENGE US!

The Freaking Sweets with Peter in the lead all went back to the hideout where DJ Professor Jerome was residing. Inside DJ Professor Jerome was DJing and playing some hardcore music.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: OH WAY! OH WAY! OH WAY! OH WAY! OH!

PETER: DJ Professor Jerome. We need your help.

Outside, The Freaking Sweets did not know they were being watched. From far away. Headed slowly into the city of Quahog-og. A tank roams the streets. Out of the tank was Ernie the Chicken. Back in DJ Professor Jerome's hideout.

JOE: It's me. I'm the one who needs help. Before the cops arrested me. They RAN OVER MY FUCKING LEGS.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: No big deal. I got some robotic fake legs you can use. Has rollerblades attached to the feet.

JOE: Okay please! I'll take them. Anything to get back with the Freaking Sweets!

DJ Professor Jerome goes into a closet and takes out the robotic legs.

CLEVELAND: Wonder how he's going to attach those on Joe's legs?

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Simple really.

Peter, Lois, Cleveland, Quagmire, Bonnie, and Donna all watch as DJ Professor Jerome got a laser hacksaw and sawed off Joe's now crippled legs.

DONNA: Ehh. I've seen worse.

LOIS: Could've used some alcohol or something.

JOE: FUCK! SHIT! FUCK! SHIT! THIS HURTS LIKE UNHOLY FUCKING HELL!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Not going to hurt anymore.

Inserting the robotic legs onto Joe's torso. Joe now feels like a new man.

JOE: ALL RIGHT! Let's Do it!

PETER: Joe is back!

LOIS: So glad to have you back with us!

JOE: It's good to be back you guys. Now I won't be a deadweight!

BONNIE: You're a valuable member of the Freaking Sweets. Legs or no legs!

PETER: Hey, how did you have that theory that Joe and Donna were arrested?

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: There were no trace of them around. You see. I sometimes watch you guys on my video screens.

As the Freaking Sweets were about to leave the hideout. A huge booming explosion was heard.

LOIS: Oh no! What was that?

QUAGMIRE: I'll go out and look.

Skating up the steps. Quagmire sees a tank slowing riding down the streets of Quahog-og. Then Quagmire skates back inside.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Where did that noise.

QUAGMIRE: There's a fucking war tank outside!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: We'll all go and see what it wants.

The Freaking Sweets and DJ Professor Jerome scurry out of the hideout. Skating very fast they go to confront the tank. Opening the tank door once more. Ernie the Chicken reveals himself.

LOIS: It's a chicken! I can't believe this bullshit!

BONNIE: What could a chicken want with this city?

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: You are guys the Freaking Sweets?!

LOIS: Yes we are! There's nothing you can do about it!

BONNIE: What do you want from us?

JOE: Yeah! Why are you in our city.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: If you're after the Freaking Sweets. You better leave them alone or you'll have to contend to me!

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: HA! Think I'm afraid of a bunch of loser ass punks on roller blades who vandalize! Keep fucking dreaming! Anyway. Captain Stewie sent me.

QUAGMIRE: How is that possible?

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: He woke up then I put them all back to sleep so I can have the glory of capturing you all myself!

DONNA: We refuse to surrender to a stupid ass chicken!

JOE: Over my half dead body!

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: It's not all of you I want. I just want one of you!

CLEVELAND: You're not getting any of us you son of a bitch!

ERNiE THE CHICKEN: Which one of you is Peter Griffin!

PETER: That's me.

DJ Professor Jerome throws some headphones at Peter.

PETER: I see what's going on here. You think if you take down the leader. Me Peter Griffin. That all the rest of the Freaking Sweets will fall.

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: You seem to be a worth opponent for me. I Ernie the Chicken shall challage YOU! Peter Griffin to a fight!

Peter puts on the headphones as he gladly accepts Ernie The Chicken's challenge.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: I'll give you instructions on how to beat this poultry son of a bitch over these headphone.

PETER: Right on!

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: If I lose. I'll leave Quahog-og forever.

PETER: And if we lose?

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: You all go to prison. Captain Stewie will make me the head police chief if he knew I took down the Freaking Sweets!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: We'll all go into my hideout Freaking Sweets.

Lois, Bonnie, Cleveland, Joe, Donna, Quagmire all follow DJ Professor Jerome into his hideout. Peter was about to battle Ernie the Chicken.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Can you hear me through these headphone.

PETER: Affirmative.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Listen to everything I tell you do to!

PETER: Got it!

DJ PROESSOR JEROME: Now get ready....

Ernie the Chicken tries to shoot Peter with the gun barrel on the tank.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Behind you, jump.

The tank gun barrel emitted a blast. Peter was able to dodge it by doing a back flip in the air. Lois, Joe, Bonnie, Donne, Cleveland and Quagmire all watch the action. Joe was sort of confounded that he wasn't the one fighting Ernie the Chicken.

JOE: Should've picked me to fight with him out there. I want to use my new legs.

BONNIE: The chicken wanted Peter because he's our leader.

Back outside...

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: Nice move.....

In the tank, Ernie the Chicken uses the tank gun barrel to try to shoot Peter some more.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Do a dance.

PETER: Hey, Ernie. Bet you don't have sweet moves like these!

JOE: Kick his ass Peter!

Dancing around Ernie The Chicken's tank. Peter glides around in a circle on his roller blades. Lois watches with bated breath.

LOIS: Ohhh. I hope Peter makes it though this....

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Peter, listen good. Jump onto the tank barrel!

PETER: Yeah!

Jumping onto the tank barrel Peter proceeds to do a flip. The blades on his rollerblades cause to crush the tank barrel in half.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME! Good job, Peter! That was awesome.

PETER: Thanks, now what?

Ernie the Chicken began to charge at Peter despite the gun barrel being crushed.

PETER: Son of a bitch! This guy won't let up!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: What you need to do Peter is use the spray paint on the tank tracks.

Peter uses the spray paint on the tank tracks. This doesn't look good for Ernie the Chicken. The tank Ernie was using was now slipping and sliding along the road.

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: Ba-GOCK!

PETER: Ha! That'll teach you to fuck with the Freaking Sweets!

The tank crashes into an abandoned building. DJ Professor Jerome and the rest of the Freaking Sweet cheer.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: We got that mother fucker! We got him!

LOIS: All right Peter!

BONNIE: We kicked his ass!

QUAGMIRE: Gonna score me some cheap hookers to celebrate!

CLEVELAND: Freaking Sweets forever!

Bonnie and Lois spot something on DJ Professor Jerome's video screens coming out of the rubble that was made when the tank hit the building. Ernie The Chicken comes back from more.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: PETER! It's not over yet!

PETER: Why not?

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Ernie the Chicken is coming after you.

PETER: Well, I'll be ready if he is!

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: You got me mad! You got me really mad now!

PETER: Wanna fight? Bring it on you cock twat!

Ernie and Chicken and Peter soon engage in a physical fight. Lois was not amused

LOIS: Why is it everytime we spoof something. There always has to be a chicken fight?

BONNIE: I agree.

Peter and Ernie the Chicken soon find themselves beating up on each other. In a usual chicken fight sense, Peter and Ernie the Chicken leave a mass of damage everywhere they fought.

CLEVELAND: We gotta put an end to this!

DONNA: Hell yeah! I want to go out and vandalize again!

JOE: I have yet to try my new legs!

Peter uses a manhole cover to hit Ernie the Chicken in the face. Ernie the Chicken then uses a construction cone and shoves it down Peter's throat. Peter coughed up the construction cone and found a down telephone wire and wraps it around Ernie the Chicken's neck that made Ernie get electrocuted.

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: Ba-GOCK!

The fight continued with Peter and Ernie the Chicken kicking, punching, and using whatever object at each other.

DONNA: Geez, doesn't Peter know he has state of the art rollerblades?

CLEVELAND: You're right. It's like he completely forgot.

JOE: Should've been me that chicken picked.

BONNIE: Get over yourself Joe!

LOIS: Peter is about to get killed out there. Think of him!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: Remember! You have roller blades and spray paint and he doesn't!

Peter and Ernie the Chicken were both sitting on the streets. Almost exhausted from fighting with one another. Once Peter heard DJ Professor Jerome over his headphones. Peter soon remembered what advantage he had over Ernie the Chicken.

PETER: Holy freaking shit! How did I forget such a thing!

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: That's fine Peter. Lois told me you have a tendency to forget everything else whenever you're in a fight with Ernie.

PETER: Okay! I'll kick Ernie's ass yet! Hey, Ernie! You're about to go for a pretty fun ride!

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: What are you talking about asshole!

PETER: First, I'm going to make you pretty then you're going for a fun ride!

Ernie The Chicken soon found himself being spray painted all over his body by Peter Griffin. Ernie the Chicken noticed that Peter was now carrying him as he blading down a hill. Ernie the Chicken shrieked in horror.

PETER: Do you want to go faster!?

ERNIE THE CHICKEN: Ba-GOCK!

As incredible fast speeds, Peter does flips in the air, slides down stairs, and glides onto buildings. Then Peter throws Ernie the Chicken into oncoming traffic from down below. Peter has won. Watching in the video screens DJ Professor Jerome and The Freaking Sweets all cheer in victory.

LOIS: Peter has won!

QUAGMIRE: Good job, Peter!

JOE: YEAH! That's what I'm talking about!

Peter blades his way back to the hideout. Where he was greeted with cheers and applause.

LOIS: You were wonderful out there Peter.

PETER: That's why I'm the leader of the Freaking Sweets!

QUAGMIRE: Can we have a party at the Red Light District?

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: It would be better if we have a party here. But you can get some hookers to come over if you want!

JOE: Who else but Quagmire!

CLEVELAND: Hey, DJ Professor Jerome. Play us some awesome tunes!

BONNIE: Something hard core!

DONNA: With Captain Stewie and Ernie the Chicken out of the way we can vandalize all we want!

PETER: You bet! Anyway. Speaking of hard core jams. I got a song I want to play.

DJ PROFESSOR JEROME: You can use my turntable if you want!

PETER: Sweet!

Going over to the turn table. Peter plays Surfin' Bird.

PETER: Bird! Bird! Bird! Bird is the word! B-B-B-Bird! Bird! Bird! Bird is The Word!

LOIS: Oh lord! First chicken fights. Now Surfin' Bird.

JOE: This is the reason why I should've been the leader.

The party lasted all night. The next morning, Stewie, Brian, and Chris were all screaming at the graffiti that the Freaking Sweets left on the police station.

BRIAN: THOSE DICKS!

CHRIS: We got to get those Freaking Sweets and bring them to justice.

STEWIE: Oh indeed we will! It may not be today! It may not be tomorrow. But someday somehow! I will eliminate Peter Griffin and his fucking asshole punk gang The Freaking Sweets once and for ALL!

Soon afterward, Peter Griffin was gliding down the streets of Quahog-og. With Lois, Quagmire, Joe, Bonnie, Donna, and Cleveland.

JOE: YES! This new legs are AWESOME! I finally get to use them!

PETER: Gather along Freaking Sweets! Time to express our freedom and creativity!

LOIS: YEAH! Let's go!

BONNIE: Fuck authority!

CLEVELAND: To freedom!

QUAGMIRE: TO fucking!

PETER: Long live the Freaking Sweets!

DONNA: Freaking Sweets forever baby!

While DJ Professor Jerome was playing hard core music that was being played on the headphones that the Freaking Sweets had on their ears. Peter, Lois, Quagmire, Joe, Bonnie and Donna spent their day vandalizing, and gliding around the city of Quahog-og having the time of their lives.

PETER: Hey, let's spray paint Vermont next!

LOIS: PETER! This is our turf!

JOE: If we went anywhere else...

QUAGMIRE: We'd be in competition with other vandal gangs.

PETER: Okay, sorry! hee hee hee!