Categories > Original > Drama
Harris For Hire aka Homeland
0 reviews(Duncanville Fanfiction). Babysitting becomes a perilous journey for Duncan and Kimberly!
0Unrated
Been a while since I've written a Duncanville Fanfiction. Until this idea came to me! Not only that! This marks as my 90th fanfiction! YAY!
This fanfiction is based on one of my favorite American Dad episodes. In other words, it's going to be Adventures In Hayley-Sitting done Duncanville Style! Special thanks goes out to TimeLordMaster108 for giving me some ideas!
Duncanville Presents
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Harris For Hire aka Homeland
It was the end of the third marking period at Oakdale High. Mr. Mitch had just dismissed class. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf could not be more thrilled. A three day weekend was upon them. "So glad we got those exams out of the way!" Duncan exclaimed. "You're telling me. I felt like Matt Damon in School Ties." Wolf said. "It's always easy me to study. My Grandma always sleeps whenever I cram for exams." Bex said. "Did any of you hear about the Tech Con?" asked Yangzi.
"No I haven't." said Duncan. "What's Tech Con?" asked Wolf.
"It's like the Woodstock for techno geeks dawg!" says Yangzi. "There's going to be a funeral there for the Blackberry." Wolf adds.
"We were wondering if you'd like to come along, Duncan." Bex tells Duncan.
Duncan was soon distracted again when Mia walked by. "Hey, Duncan." she waves at him.
Feeling romantic bliss, Duncan heads to over to Mia. "Hello, Mia! Any plans for this three day weekend?" he asks Mia.
"I'm babysitting." Mia responds. "Babysitting? That sounds interesting. What is it like?" asked Duncan.
"Just watch over some kids while their parents are away." Mia says. "Cool good luck." said Duncan. "The family I'm babysitting for thinks I'm the best at what I do." Mia continues.
"The best you say," Duncan says looking into the air. Going into his fantasies, Duncan dreams that he and Mia are married and have a family.
"Hey, Duncan! Isn't this a wonderful life we have together?" asks Mia.
"Would not trade it for the world!" said Duncan.
Four kids who resemble Duncan and Mia. Two were boys two were girls.
"MOMMY! MOMMY!" "DADDY! DADDY!"
"What great kids we've raised." said Duncan. "Yes, I just put your name into Time Magazine for Father Of The Year!" Mia said. The fantasy faded back to reality. Yangzi was talking to Duncan. "So, you coming with us to Tech Con or what?" asked Yangzi.
"Yeah, there's even robots there from movies like Chappy and I Robot!" said Bex. "Answer the question." said Wolf.
"Actually, no." responded Duncan. "Why?" asked Bex. "Ohhhh, it won't be the same without you, dawg!" Yangzi exclaimed. "I know! I'll fill in for him! I'll be the new Duncan!" said Wolf. Bex scoffs, "That's impossible. That's fine. We respect your decision!"
"What are you doing this weekend instead?" asked Wolf.
"Babysitting! That's what!" said Duncan.
"Well, okay. We'll send you come pictures. Have fun." said Yangzi. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf have exited Oakdale high for the day.
Yangzi asks, "Since when is Duncan a babysitter?" "Yeah, isn't that a girl's job. Not to sound...." Wolf says as he was cut off by Bex. "We know what you're saying. I think Mia something to do with this."
Back at the Harris family home. Jack and Annie were in their bedroom.
"Oh boy, Annie! I can't wait for our Date Night!" said Jack.
"It'll be just like when we first met." sighs Annie.
"I know! Maybe we can role play while we're out!" said Jack.
"I'm up for that. Who should we be?" asked Annie.
"I'll be Ethan Hawke and you me Julie Delpy!" suggests Jack.
"Wow! I love that idea! It can be like our favorite romance movie Before Sunrise!" Annie says.
"You have the greatest concepts, Annie! One of the reasons why I fell for you in the first place!" said Jack.
The phone rings and Annie answers it. "Hello. Yes, this is Annie."
The call they get is grim news.
"What? You mean Jing's babysitter is....Oh no! That's terrible. You have my condolences. Well, thank you anyway. I'll be sending you a card. Bye."
Annie hangs up the phone. Jack was wondering what had happened.
"From the sound of that phone call, sounded like somebody died." Jack implied.
"Yes, afraid so." Annie hangs her head. "Who was it?" asked Jack. "Jing's babysitter Patricia." said Annie.
"How did that happen? She was so young! She was in her second year of college for God's sake." Jack says with shock.
"She was playing soccer on her college team. Then she broke her leg." Annie informs. "How does anyone die of a broken leg?" Jack asks.
"When she went into the hospital. She died of sepsis. Dead on arrival." Annie says.
"That's just so awful." Jack says. Annie and Jack embrace. Duncan, Kimberly, and Jing walk into their house coming home from school.
Jing observes her parents, "Oh my gosh. We know what this means."
"Yeah, I know." said Duncan. "They always get that way when someone dies." said Kimberly. "Maybe it was Grandpa. That nursing home probably finally did him in." Duncan theorized.
"Hey, kids." Annie greeted them. "I hate to say this but we have some bad news." said Jack. "Okay. This seems important." Kimberly says.
The Harris family all sit on their couch. Annie tells the kids, "It's about Patricia." "My babysitter? The one who watches over me with Bradley?" asked Jing.
"Yes, you see. She got badly hurt at a soccer game and broke her leg." Jack explains. "Patricia is dead. When she broke her leg, she got a infection." said Annie.
Jing begins to cry. Duncan, Kimberly, Jack and Annie all hug and honor Patricia's memory. "Not to sound selfish. Does this mean Date Night is cancelled?" asks Jack.
"For now, anyway." said Annie. "Very well. Until we can find a babysitter for Jing." Jack agreed. The Harris family retreats to their bedrooms. Duncan decides not to offer to babysit Jing as of yet.
"Nah, I better not. I'll wait." Duncan says to himself. "Wait for what?" asked Kimberly. "Oh, nothing! You know! High School Boy stuff. heh heh." Duncan told Kimberly.
*
The next day was when Jack and Annie's Date Night was going to take place. Annie calls around for another babysitter. However, every babysitter in Oakdale was busy. There was nobody available.
"Any luck finding a new babysitter for Jing?" asked Jack. "Afraid not." Annie said in sadness. "Guess this means we'll have to cancel our Date Night." Jack replies. "Oh I got it. I'll try that one girl Duncan likes, Mia!" Annie says.
Calling Mia on her cellphone, Annie learns that Mia was busy as well. Hearing all the commotion downstairs. Duncan decides to do something about it.
"Now is my chance! My chance to be an awesome babysitter! If Mia can do it! So can I!" Duncan says charging down the stairs. Then Duncan has another one of his fantasies that he has his own Reality Show where he is a babysitter for celebrities!
A TV Announcer voice talks along with a caption: " Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to another episode of Harris for Hire!"
It shows Duncan walking down a red carpet in Hollywood. "There he is! America's most famous babysitter. Duncan Harris!" An audience and some paprazzi were taking Duncan's picture for the tabloids. "Today Duncan Harris will be babysitting for...." Before the fantasy can go on any further. Duncan snaps out of it in time to tell Jack and Annie that wants to babysit for Jing.
"Look no further Mom and Dad! How about I babysit Jing!" Duncan offers. Jack and Annie are uncertain.
"Well, I don't know....." Annie said with hesitance.
"We know from past experience you're not so good by yourself..." Jack agrees.
"Oh come on! The past is the past! I've learned from that by now!" Duncan says. Kimberly scoffs, "Are you sure? How about all the times you've told my friends my real age when I'm trying to appear older?"
"Look Duncan, I know you mean well and everything. It's just...." Annie says. "You'll probably just throw another fire extinguisher in the oven again. Gosh, it was like Backdraft in our own house!" Jack recalls.
"I know better than that now." said Duncan. Jing comes in and offers a word of advice, "If I could get a word in edgewise here, Mom and Dad."
"What do you want to say, Jing?" asked Kimberly. "I think in all fairness. Duncan should babysit me. Especially if there is nobody else available." Jing impedes on her word.
Annie and Jack look at each other. Jing continues, "That way Mommy and Daddy can have their alone time..." "Jing! Where did you learn such a word!" Annie said.
"Uhh, Duncan I bet!" Kimberly giggles. "Why you little bitch! Always trying to get me in trouble!" Duncan said about to lunge at Kimberly. Annie stops them in time.
"What gives!" Kimberly asked. "Why do you always break up our fights, Mom!" Duncan asks. "Yeah, Dad never cares if we fight!" Kimberly says.
"OKay everybody stop!" Annie demands. "I've stopped." Jack froze in fear. "Not you, Jack! First up, Jack and I deserve some time for ourselves." Annie speaks out. "Agree with that much!" Jack joins in.
"Actually, babysitters cost money. So Duncan I'm going to let you babysit Jing for tonight!" Annie tells her son. Duncan jumps in the air, "YES!"
"Oh and Kimberly. We'd really appreciate it if you babysit Jing too!" Jack said. Kimberly stared blankly in a stunned trance. "WHAT! ME TOO?!"
Duncan puts his arm around Kimberly, "Yeah, why not! It will be a great way for us to get to know each other better!" The doorbell rings. Jing goes to answer it. Bradley was there.
"Hey, Jing! Too bad about Patricia, hey." Bradley said. "I know. However, my big brother and sister are going to babysit us!" Jing announced.
"That's great!" Bradley said. "Are you parents having Date Night, too?" asks Bradley. "No a business meeting." Bradley responds.
Jack and Annie were about to go out of their house to go on Date Night. Duncan says, "Cool! I get to babysit two kids!" "You're not doing this because of Mia are you?" asked Kimberly with suspicion.
"No! Course not!" Duncan spits back. "All rights kids. We're going now." Jack said going out the door. Annie was behind him and stops for a minute. "Oh and Duncan....."
"Yeah Mom?" Duncan says.
"If...You...Mess...This...Up...Or...Make...An...Ass...Of...Yourself...I...Will...Never...Trust...You...Again!" Annie warns Duncan who then stands up and salutes. "Ma'am yes ma'am! I won't let you down, ma'am!" Duncan said.
"Hope you won't." Annie said in a tone that sounded less than hopeful.
Annie left the house with Jack. Jing leads Bradley into the living room. Duncan was there. But Kimberly wasn't. "Where's Kimberly?" asked Jing.
"Kimberly. Just because Mom and Dad are gone the rules still apply!" Duncan calls his sister.
Coming downstairs, Kimberly now had a different hair color. Green.
Jing, Duncan, and Bradley all look at Kimberly's new hair with shock.
"What type of shit did you put in your hair!" Duncan asked. "First up, this green hair is a protest thing for having to be at home with you babysitting Jing, Duncan! I didn't ask for this!" Kimberly announced.
"Is there another reason?" asked Bradley. "Not that it's any of your business, Bradley. But there's a boy in school who's teasing me about my purple hair telling me I look like Leela from Futurama." Kimberly said.
"Futurama! I love that show! My Mommy and Daddy let me watch it!" said Bradley. "OKay. Listen up Jing and Bradley. I am in charge so here are some rules that I will lay down." Duncan said.
"Sure what are the rules?" asked Jing. "Number one, no leaving the house without me. Number two, no watching adult movies. Especially ones about gangsters and war." Duncan says.
"In other words, our Dad's DVD collection. Movies like The Untouchables and The Departed. Strictly prohibited!" Kimberly said now wanting in. "I thought you said you didn't want to do this." Duncan tells his sister.
"Well, I changed my mind, okay!" Kimberly says.
"Fine you can be my second in command, okay!" Duncan says. "Whatever works." Kimberly said.
"Thirdly, play safely and stay out of danger. Understood?" Duncan asks Jing and Bradley. "OKay, so it's settled." Bradley said. "We'll be extra good for you, big brother!" said Jing.
*
On the outskirts of Oakdale, Jack and Annie were taking a stagecoach ride. "What a peaceful night!" exclaims Annie. "Sure is. You know, maybe we can role play as Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster." Jack suggests. "Oh you mean like that Maverick movie?" asked Annie. "Exactly!" said Jack as he kisses Annie's hand.
"Ooooh! I'm liking this so far!" Annie cooes. Back at the Harris family house. Duncan and Kimberly were doing a good job so far at babysitting Jing and Bradley. However, things seem a little too quiet.
"I don't hear Jing and Bradley." says Kimberly.
"We should go check on them." said Duncan.
"Right." said Kimberly. "Silence is one of my triggers." Duncan told his sister.
Kimberly and Duncan run upstairs to Jing's bedroom. Only to see Jing and Bradley reading Macbeth and Hamlet.
"What the hell...." Duncan says.
Jing puts down the book after looking at it, "So this is what they call Old English, right?"
"That's correct, Jing!" Bradley chirps.
"Hey, those are very adult books you're reading!" Duncan tells Jing and Bradley. "Yeah, those books are so sophisticated even I don't understand them!" said Kimberly.
"Oh come on. It could be worse. At least we're not making noise!" said Jing. "Yeah, what's wrong with reading Shakespeare?" asks Bradley.
"You're too young, that's what!" said Duncan. "What did we say about doing adult things?" asked Kimberly.
"Oh we're sorry." Jing begins. "We thought that only applied to movies like you said." Bradley said.
"We forgot to add that applies to books, too." said Duncan.
Jing and Bradley decide to take a stand, "You know Duncan. For the past two hours or so it's been one rule after another!" said Bradley.
"I wasn't like that!" Duncan denies. "Yes you were, for the past two hours you've been going repeating the rules over and over." said Jing.
"Yeah, why else did we go into Jing's bedroom to read adult books! We wanted to defy you!" Bradley said. "And now we all continue to do so!" Jing says.
"Okay, fine. Maybe I did go overboard with that and...wait, what?! DEFY?" Duncan was shocked and awed as Jing and Bradley open Jing's bedroom window and climb out.
"NO! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! PLEASE! COME BACK! COME BACK!" Kimberly shouted.
After climbing out of bedroom window, Jing and Bradley run off into the night.
"Holy shit! I was afraid this was going to happen." Duncan panics. "I know! If Mom finds out she'll never trust you again. Well, maybe Dad will go easy on us...." Kimberly says.
"Come on! We need to get them back!" Duncan orders his sister.
Running outside their house, Duncan and Kimberly see Jing and Bradley run far into the city. "Okay we have them in our sights. Still good still good." Kimberly says.
Jing and Bradley run into a Mini Mart and go inside. Duncan and Kimberly were able to track them down.
"God bless Yangzi and these tracking apps." said Duncan. Kimberly runs inside the Mini Mart to look for Jing and Bradley. Once she spotted them, Jing and Bradley throw down a trash can to block Kimberly's path.
"Where did they learn how to do that!" said Kimberly.
Outside the Mini Mart, Duncan goes in however, Jing and Bradley run by him before he could stop them. Kimberly runs out. A Matthew McConaughey look a like sees the whole thing and says, "That's the thing I like about high school girls. They keep getting younger and I keep getting older!"
"This is like Dazed and Confused The Early Years." said Duncan. "Yeah, none of us have a getaway car." Kimberly retorted.
"Damn! Now what!" Duncan said. A voice from behind talks to Duncan. "You need help with anything?" Duncan and Kimberly turn around and see two men. "Hello, my name is Bob." "And this is Larry."
"Okay, Bob and Larry is it?" asked Duncan. "At your service." said Larry. "We need help. We are babysitting our little sister and her friend." said Kimberly.
"This is on me, Kimberly. Let me handle this." Duncan advises his sister. "So what do I have to do to get help from you to find my sister and bring her home?" asks Duncan.
"Uhhh, give us your address." said Bob. Duncan agrees to do so. Kimberly looks kind of grim.
Bob says, "Carry on, we'll help you when you need us." "Okay thank you!" Duncan says running off with Kimberly.
Larry begins to laugh, "Stupid kid!" "He actually thinks we're going to help him!" implied Bob. "Now thanks to him, we have a house to rob!" said Larry.
"When will we do it?" asked Bob eagerly. "Once they find their sister, we'll break into their house." said Larry. "Awesome plan, Larry!" said Bob. "We'll give them a night of babysitting they'll never forget!
Still on the run to get Jing and Bradley back. Duncan uses the Tracker App to track their whereabouts.
"Why did you tell those strangers where we live?" asks Kimberly. "It'll come in handy later. Now shut up I'm trying to track down Jing and Bradley." Duncan demanded.
Using the Tracker App, Duncan discovers that Jing and Bradley were headed towards the Tech Con. "A-ha! Tech Con!" Duncan said.
Running to the Tech Con, Duncan and Kimberly find themselves among a crowd of people trying hard not to push them away and be rude. Jing and Bradley look around the Tech Con.
"Wow! This place is like a wonderland!" Bradley exclaims. "No kidding! Duncan will never find us here!" Jing says. A shady looking man was stealing a Blackberry and puts it in his bag. However, the Blackberry hits he floor and Jing picks it up.
"Wonder what this pretty thing is!" Jing says holding the Blackberry. "Maybe it's something you can shoot people with like a gun!" said Bradley. Taking the Blackberry Bradley aims it in the air. "BANG BANG! Look! I'm Alec Baldwin!" Jing laughs. Their fun comes to an end or so it seemed when Duncan and Kimberly finally caught up with them.
"Ha! I found you! Now you both are coming home before Mom and Dad come back from their Date Night so I can prove to them that I'm responsible." Duncan says.
Jing and Bradley take off. "We don't think so!" "We are not going to sit and listen to your rules all the time!"
"Shit! Here we go again!" said Kimberly.
Chasing Jing and Bradley though the crowd of people at Tech Con. Duncan runs into Yangzi, Wolf. and Bex.
"Duncan dawg! You decided to come after all!" Yangzi says.
"You're just in time for the Blackberry funeral!" Wolf implied.
"I snuck out! My grandma has no idea I'm here!" Bex says. "Look, I'd love to hang around with you guys, but I gotta go!" Duncan says running away with Kimberly. "Bye, Wolf! Forever and always!" Kimberly calls out blowing a kiss. Kimberly was relived that nobody noticed her now green hair however a little disappointed that Wolf didn't notice.
"Dammit! Was hoping that..." Kimberly is about to say.
"Don't do that long face, Kimberly. We have something more important going on then Wolf noticing your new hairdo." Duncan tells his sister. "Right, of course!" Kimberly says.
Jing and Bradley made their way out of Tech Con. "So where do you want to go next just to push Duncan's buttons!?" asked Bradley.
Pointing to a house, Jing says, "THERE!"
At the stagecoach. Jack and Annie were enjoying their Date Night together. "Wish this didn't have to end." said Annie. "Hopefully, we'll come back and see that Duncan has done a good job with Jing." Jack said. At the Harris house, Bob and Larry were already there.
"So, when do you think this idiot kid is going to come home?" asked Larry. "Trust me, soon he will." said Bob. "Once he comes home then we rob?" asked Larry. "You catch on really quick there! Until then, we wait!" said Bob. "Like the way you think Bob, it's like shooting a bird right out of it's nest." said Larry.
*
When the Shady Man from Tech Con who bought the Blackberry come back to his trailer. He was unpacking his bag. Which had alcohol, cocaine and what he thinks is the Blackberry.
"Beer, check! Cocaine check, Blackberry...." searches the Shady Man who then goes haywire when he realizes his Blackberry is gone.
"WHERE IS MY BLACKBERRY! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BLACKBERRY! I WANT MY FUCKING BLACKBERRY!"
The phone on the wall on his trailer rings he goes to answer it. "You there?" the man on the other end said. The man who called the Shady Man was none other than Bob. "Yes Bob it's me." Shady Man says.
"We tried to reach you on your Blackberry! Where the fuck are you?" shouted Bob. "Some mother fucking kids stole my Blackberry!" shouted the Shady Man back into the phone.
"Well, forget that for now. Come on over to this address..." Bob tells the Shady Man Duncan's address. "What are we going to plan over there to get my Blackberry back?" asked the Shady Man. "No, something big! I'll tell you when you come over!" Bob tells the Shady Man as they both hang up the phone. The Shady Man takes a couple of hits of cocaine before he leaves.
"NNNOOWWW!! SOMEBODY IS GOING TO DIE! FOR TAKING MY FUCKING BLACKBERRY!" The Shady Man was now on his way to meet Bob and Larry at the Harris house.
Jing and Bradley walk into the house that they planned to go into. The house was having a party. The party was being thrown by kids from a Junior High from out of town.
"YAY! YAY! We're in the party!" Bradley said. "I hope Duncan never finds us here!" said Jing. the Junior High students who were having the party don't notice Jing and Bradley.
"TURN UP THAT MUSIC YEAH!" "PLAY BABY SHARK"!
Duncan and Kimberly used the Tracking App once more to try to find Jing and Bradley. Kimberly looks around, "OH NO! I can't be here!"
"Why? We need to be. Jing and Bradley are in danger!" Duncan says.
"This party is where those bad rowdy Junior High kids from out of town are." Kimberly implied. The Junior HIgh kids soon see Duncan and Kimberly and immediately throw stuff at them.
"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE OAKDALE! GO BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG! WE DON'T WANT YOU LOSER OAKDALE KIDS HERE!"
Duncan and Kimberly run away from the maddening crowd. Kimberly soon sees some drinks. "Cool! This must be beer!" she observes.
"NO! This is no time to..." Duncan says. Kimberly takes a drink anyway. "Stay out of our energy drink, green hair!" "Yeah! What's with the green hair, bitch! You from another planet or something!"
Ignoring the insults Kimberly drinks the energy drink. "I think this might be Red Bull!" Kimberly said.
Duncan says, "Red Bull!" Going into one of his fantasies again, Duncan drinks a Red Bull and gets wings like in those commercials. Duncan flies into the air and scoops up Jing and Bradley and puts them back in the house. then Duncan is about to fly over to to Mia's house then Duncan comes back to his senses when he spots Jing and Bradley. On the staircase.
Jing and Bradley run down the stairs. "The spotted us!"
Kimberly runs up the stairs and yells at Jing and Bradley. "Jing Harris! You come here this minute! You are in such big...." Kimberly says to her adopted sister then she vomits the energy drink she drank.
Some of the Junior High kids laugh at Kimberly after she puked up the Red Bull. "Ha Ha! Green haired alien girl can't hold a Red Bull!" "I'd like to see her hold some beer!"
Kimberly feeling a little sick from the Red Bull catches up with Duncan who now was blocking Jing's and Bradley's path.
"Red Bull gives you wings my ass! Red Bull makes you puke!" Kimberly said with a snide remark.
"OKay you caught us." Jing gives in. "Yeah, it was fun while it lasted." said Bradley.
"Do you guys have any idea what you have put me and Kimberly through! Now on my command we are going to go home and...."
Kimberly's cell phone rings. She answers it and it was Jack and Annie. "Hello, Kimberly!" Annie says. "Oh hey Mom!" said Kimberly.
"Just would like to let you know that we'll be home in the an hour." Jack said. Kimberly gulped. "Oh okay! Everything is fine and dandy here as you always say, Dad!"
"Okay see you all then, goodbye!" Jack says hanging up his cellphone.
Kimberly approaches Duncan, Jing, and Bradley. "Guys, we need to go home!"
"Damn straight we do!" Duncan inclined. "No seriously! Mom and Dad called! They're going to be home in an hour!" Kimberly explains.
"Oh my! Ahhh! Shit in a bucket! We gotta get out of here!" Duncan says.
Kimberly, Duncan, Jing, and Bradley all run out of the house where the Junior High party was taking place. "So glad to be out of there!" Kimberly said. "I know right. It was like a Junior High version of Superbad in there!" Duncan agrees. "I just hope there's no app videos of me puking that Red Bull." said Kimberly.
"We don't have time to worry about that. Now we need to try to find a fast way to get home!" Duncan says.
*
Done with their stagecoach ride, Jack and Annie are in the car returning home. "That was fun! Just the two of us." Jack says. "Yeah, for once we were at peace." said Annie. "All we needed to do was put our trust in Duncan and Kimberly." said Jack.
"Don't be so sure. They'll be a mess when we get back. I just know it!" said Annie. "Why did you say that?" asked Jack. "Mother's intuition that's what." Annie tells her husband.
The stagecoach was still moving. Duncan was trying to find a way to get home in an hour. "If Mom and Dad come home before us...." Duncan said nervously.
Tensions were riding high. Jing and Bradley soon regretted their act of rebellion. "I'm so sorry." said Bradley. "I bet you are!" Kimberly concedes.
"All the hell you put us though, you better pray Mom and Dad don't find out!" Duncan says to his youngest sister.
"Hey, Duncan. Do stagecoaches move my themselves." Kimberly asks. Pointing in a direction. Duncan sees the stagecoach. "That's it! Horses can go fast! I know from all those Western movies Dad always watches." Duncan says.
Jing, Bradley, Duncan, and Kimberly all go onto the stagecoach. Duncan takes the reigns.
"Giddyup!" Duncan orders the horses. With a gust of wind and some luck. The stagecoach was moving very fast.
"WEEE! FUN! Duncan rides a horsey!" Jing says. "Home here we come!" said Bradley. "Im making a promise." Jing says. "What is it?" asked Bradley.
"To never run away like that ever again!" said Jing. "Yeah, I realize now this wasn't a good thing to do." BRaadley agrees. "Too bad you didn't think about that, before." Kimberly says in a cynical sense.
Back at the Harris house, Bob, Larry, and The Shady Man were laying in wait. "Any minute now......" said Larry. "I'll get my Blackberry back!" said the Shady Man. "Fuck your Blackberry!" yelled Bob. "Once those teens come back, we'll have them right at the palm of our hands!" Larry said evilly.
In the stagecoach, Duncan asks Jing and Bradley why they ran away. "Why exactly did you do this to us?"
"Because we wanted to see what it was like to be a teenager." Jing answers. "Yeah, from what I saw of you, Duncan. Sneaking out. Let's face it. I have seen you sneak out of your house. You make being a teenager look like fun!" Bradley stated clearly.
"Yeah, well being a teenager isn't all peaches and sunshine you know!" Duncan said. Kimberly adds on, "It's not peaches and sunshine to be a preteen either!"
The stagecoach rides past the Tech Con, then Oakdale High, Oakdale Mall then in their neighborhood. "All right! Almost home everybody!" Duncan announced.
Then Kimberly reminded her brother of Bob and Larry. "What happened with those guys you gave our address to?"
"Son of a bitch! We got so caught up in chasing after Jing and Bradley. Guess I forgot." Duncan said. "Maybe they did too!" Kimberly says. "Anybody like this Blackberry!" Jing asks. "Those are long gone." Duncan says. "You're behind on the techno times." Kimberly says. "That's okay. I am too!" Bradley added.
Once they came home, neither of the four had any idea that there were intruders in their house. Bob, Larry, and the Shady Man hear Duncan, Kimberly, Jing, and Bradley all about to walk inside their home.
"It's magic time!" Bob snickers. "Places people, places!" Larry said.
Bob, Larry, and the Shady Man all hid away. Waiting for the exact moment, Jing, Duncan, Kimberly, and Bradley all walk into the house.
Duncan bursts through the door. "Home Sweet Home!" "It's all the same as we left it." exclaimed Kimberly. Jing looks at the clock, "Oh look. We beat Mommy and Daddy." "Maybe my parents are coming home too." Bradley says.
"Home Sweet Home?" "I don't think so!" "More like Death Sweet Death!"
Duncan, Kimberly, Bradley, and Jing were all spooked by the voices. Out of the darkness emerges Bob, Larry, and The Shady Guy.
"Oh, shit! I forgot about them!" Duncan says who remembered he gave his address to strangers.
"Great! They're going to kill us! You're going to be the death of me, Duncan!" Kimberly says.
"The green haired girl is right!" said Bob. "Now, tell us what we want to know." said Larry. "What do you want to know? I dread asking." Bradley says.
"Where do your parents keep your money!" Bob says. "Where's my fucking Blackberry!" screamed the Shady Man "You mean this?" asked Jing taking out the Blackberry. The Shady Man grabbed it away from Jing, and was very happy that his beloved Blackberry was found.
"OH FUCK YES! OH YES! OH YES! MY BLACKBERRY IS BACK! MY BLACKBERRY IS THE SHIT!" The Shady Man ran happily. Then out of the house.
"Hey, we needed him!" said Larry. "Oh, fuck him, anyway! Let's get some answers out of these kids." said Bob.
Charging in on Duncan and Bradley. Kimberly and Jing sneak away.
"Where do you keep your valuables?" asked Bob to Duncan. "Look I don't know...." Duncan stammers. "Tell us now! Or you'll get a bullet in your head!" Larry said.
"Oh, Kimberly is right. Why was I so stupid to trust you guys!" Duncan thinks to himself.
"We love to ask teens in trouble where they live so we can rob their houses!" said Bob. "Uhh, can you go now? My parents will be home in...." Duncan said.
"They're not going to listen to us!" Bradley implies. "We're going to call the cops if you don't..." Duncan shouted. Bob and Larry begin to teat apart the house until they find something valuable. Jing and Kimberly were in her room.
"This was rather selfish. Abandoning Duncan and Bradley." Kimberly implies. "I have a plan to get rid of these guys." said Jing.
"What is it?" asks Kimberly. "We both know Witch Craft, right?" asked Jing. "Of course! I taught you about it on last year's Witch Day!" recalls Kimberly.
"Let's get our Witch Kits and blow these robbers to Kingdom Come!" said Jing. "Awesome! It'll be like my all time favorite movie The Craft!" said Kimberly.
Going into her closet, Kimberly gets her Witch Kit. After Bob and Larry were done trashing the house. They hone in on Duncan and Bradley. "I won't let Duncan be the death of this family or me!" vows Kimberly.
"We're going to ask one more time. Where does your parents keep the money!" Bob said. "We told you we don't know!" Duncan shouts back. "You don't want to hurt us kids, do you? Don't you know what they do to child killers in prison?" asked Bradley.
Duncan's and Bradley's pleas were useless against Bob and Larry. "All I wanted was to be a babysitter. This is the price I pay!" Duncan bemoaned. Before Bob and Larry could do anything to Duncan. Kimberly and Jing confront Bob and Larry with Kimberly's Witch Kit.
"Stop evildoers!" "Leave my brother and friend alone!"
"What are you bitches going to do about it?" asked both Bob and Larry.
"THIS!" Kimberly shouted. Jing and Kimberly waves their wands at Bob and Larry. "We're witches! And you should always be afraid of witches!" Kimberly boasted.
Bob and Larry find themselves levitating in the air. Then Kimberly and Jing do some Witches Chant. "Round about the couldron go: In The poisons entrails throw!"
Duncan and Bradley were amazed at how Kimberly and Jing saved them. Bob and Larry soar high into the sky then land in a garbage dump. Never to be seen or heard from again. Kimberly and Jing save the day.
"Wow, Kimberly and Jing! Your witchcraft sure came in handy! You saved our asses!" Duncan says. "I don't condone swearing but, thank you." Bradley extends his gratitude. "You may be annoying and nerve wracking at times, but it was the least I could do!" said Kimberly.
"That was the reason I read Shakespeare. Bet you're glad I did!" said Jing. "I am this time. Sorry I got mad at you for reading a book that wasn't appropriate for your age level." said Duncan.
"That's okay." Jing said.
Kimberly sees the clock. "SHIT! 20 more minutes until Mom and Dad come home!" The house was still a mess after the ordeal with Bob and Larry.
"I know! Let's use some more Witchcraft!" Jing advised. "I'm with you on this!" said Kimberly.
Waving their wands once more, The house that was once a mess was now cleaned. Kimberly's hair turned back purple and she was saddened. "Oh great!" A car drove up in the driveway. It was Jack and Annie.
"Okay, they're home. Everyone get on the couch!" orders Duncan. "Pretend nothing happened!" Kimberly says. "Your secret is safe!" said Jing. "With me as well!" added on Bradley.
Annie and Jack walk in and see everything was in place and order. They had no idea the adventure Duncan, Kimberly, Jing, and Bradley had.
"Hey, Mom I did a good job!" said Duncan to Annie. "Why I guess you did! Everything is fine is good." said Annie. "Guess we can trust you to be by yourself." said Jack.
"Wow thank you!" said Duncan. "Yep we just had a nice time. Playing board games, listening to music, you know that sort of thing!" said Kimberly.
"Since this whole Date Night thing has worked out, maybe we can have Duncan babysit Jing next week!" Jack suggests.
"Would I!" Duncan says.
"Yes you can. Now let's just look forward to the weekend!" Annie says. Bradley's parents come to pick him up and he goes home. "Goodbye. Thanks for everything!" Bradley says as he exits the Harris house. Jack, Annie, Duncan, Jing, and Kimberly all went about their day.
The Shady Man ran into their house with his Blackberry and screamed, "HA HA HA HA HA! NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH! I got a Blackberry and you don't!" Annie heard him and hit the Shady Man on the head with a frying pan and kicked him out of the house.
"What the hell was that all about?" wondered Annie.
"Did something happen?" Jack rushed to his wife.
"Yeah but I took care of it." said Annie.
"Okay then. I'm ready for bed." said Jack.
*
Jack and Annie never found out what really happened with Duncan's babysitting escapade. It remained a secret forever. The following Monday. Duncan went to Mia's locker. "Hey, Mia! How did you babysitting gig go?" he asked his crush. "It was excellent." said Mia.
"Say, I was thinking this weekend, do you want to come over and help me babysit Jing?" asked Duncan. "Of course I would! I've always wanted to get to know your adopted sister." Mia says. "Awesome! See you Saturday!" said Duncan. "See you then!" Mia says.
The boy who teased Kimberly about her purple hair. His name was Frank greets Kimberly.
"If you want to make fun of my hair, just come out and say it." Kimberly says.
Frank says, "I just want to say that I like your purple hair."
"You do?" asked Kimberly in frozen shock.
"Yes! Of course. I never meant to be mean to you about it. Anyway I was thinking..." Frank begins.
"What is it?" asked Kimberly.
"This Saturday there's going to be a Sci Fi Con. Was wondering if you'd like to come!" Frank says.
"You mean like I date! I sure can! I have nothing going on this weekend." said Kimberly.
"Awesome! We can cosplay too! I'll be Fry and you and be Leela!" said Frank.
"Cool! It's settled!" said Kimberly.
For the upcoming weekend, both Kimberly and Duncan got lucky. Sci Fi Con for Kimberly and her new boyfriend Frank. Babysitting Jing with Mia for Duncan.
When Duncan came home from school. He goes on his computer and makes a website. It was called.
"HARRIS FOR HIRE: BABYSITTING BUSINESS!"
"Me and Mia will be the best babysitters in all of Oakdale in no time at all!" said Duncan.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
This fanfiction is based on one of my favorite American Dad episodes. In other words, it's going to be Adventures In Hayley-Sitting done Duncanville Style! Special thanks goes out to TimeLordMaster108 for giving me some ideas!
Duncanville Presents
A Narwhal Puppy Production
Harris For Hire aka Homeland
It was the end of the third marking period at Oakdale High. Mr. Mitch had just dismissed class. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf could not be more thrilled. A three day weekend was upon them. "So glad we got those exams out of the way!" Duncan exclaimed. "You're telling me. I felt like Matt Damon in School Ties." Wolf said. "It's always easy me to study. My Grandma always sleeps whenever I cram for exams." Bex said. "Did any of you hear about the Tech Con?" asked Yangzi.
"No I haven't." said Duncan. "What's Tech Con?" asked Wolf.
"It's like the Woodstock for techno geeks dawg!" says Yangzi. "There's going to be a funeral there for the Blackberry." Wolf adds.
"We were wondering if you'd like to come along, Duncan." Bex tells Duncan.
Duncan was soon distracted again when Mia walked by. "Hey, Duncan." she waves at him.
Feeling romantic bliss, Duncan heads to over to Mia. "Hello, Mia! Any plans for this three day weekend?" he asks Mia.
"I'm babysitting." Mia responds. "Babysitting? That sounds interesting. What is it like?" asked Duncan.
"Just watch over some kids while their parents are away." Mia says. "Cool good luck." said Duncan. "The family I'm babysitting for thinks I'm the best at what I do." Mia continues.
"The best you say," Duncan says looking into the air. Going into his fantasies, Duncan dreams that he and Mia are married and have a family.
"Hey, Duncan! Isn't this a wonderful life we have together?" asks Mia.
"Would not trade it for the world!" said Duncan.
Four kids who resemble Duncan and Mia. Two were boys two were girls.
"MOMMY! MOMMY!" "DADDY! DADDY!"
"What great kids we've raised." said Duncan. "Yes, I just put your name into Time Magazine for Father Of The Year!" Mia said. The fantasy faded back to reality. Yangzi was talking to Duncan. "So, you coming with us to Tech Con or what?" asked Yangzi.
"Yeah, there's even robots there from movies like Chappy and I Robot!" said Bex. "Answer the question." said Wolf.
"Actually, no." responded Duncan. "Why?" asked Bex. "Ohhhh, it won't be the same without you, dawg!" Yangzi exclaimed. "I know! I'll fill in for him! I'll be the new Duncan!" said Wolf. Bex scoffs, "That's impossible. That's fine. We respect your decision!"
"What are you doing this weekend instead?" asked Wolf.
"Babysitting! That's what!" said Duncan.
"Well, okay. We'll send you come pictures. Have fun." said Yangzi. Duncan, Yangzi, Bex, and Wolf have exited Oakdale high for the day.
Yangzi asks, "Since when is Duncan a babysitter?" "Yeah, isn't that a girl's job. Not to sound...." Wolf says as he was cut off by Bex. "We know what you're saying. I think Mia something to do with this."
Back at the Harris family home. Jack and Annie were in their bedroom.
"Oh boy, Annie! I can't wait for our Date Night!" said Jack.
"It'll be just like when we first met." sighs Annie.
"I know! Maybe we can role play while we're out!" said Jack.
"I'm up for that. Who should we be?" asked Annie.
"I'll be Ethan Hawke and you me Julie Delpy!" suggests Jack.
"Wow! I love that idea! It can be like our favorite romance movie Before Sunrise!" Annie says.
"You have the greatest concepts, Annie! One of the reasons why I fell for you in the first place!" said Jack.
The phone rings and Annie answers it. "Hello. Yes, this is Annie."
The call they get is grim news.
"What? You mean Jing's babysitter is....Oh no! That's terrible. You have my condolences. Well, thank you anyway. I'll be sending you a card. Bye."
Annie hangs up the phone. Jack was wondering what had happened.
"From the sound of that phone call, sounded like somebody died." Jack implied.
"Yes, afraid so." Annie hangs her head. "Who was it?" asked Jack. "Jing's babysitter Patricia." said Annie.
"How did that happen? She was so young! She was in her second year of college for God's sake." Jack says with shock.
"She was playing soccer on her college team. Then she broke her leg." Annie informs. "How does anyone die of a broken leg?" Jack asks.
"When she went into the hospital. She died of sepsis. Dead on arrival." Annie says.
"That's just so awful." Jack says. Annie and Jack embrace. Duncan, Kimberly, and Jing walk into their house coming home from school.
Jing observes her parents, "Oh my gosh. We know what this means."
"Yeah, I know." said Duncan. "They always get that way when someone dies." said Kimberly. "Maybe it was Grandpa. That nursing home probably finally did him in." Duncan theorized.
"Hey, kids." Annie greeted them. "I hate to say this but we have some bad news." said Jack. "Okay. This seems important." Kimberly says.
The Harris family all sit on their couch. Annie tells the kids, "It's about Patricia." "My babysitter? The one who watches over me with Bradley?" asked Jing.
"Yes, you see. She got badly hurt at a soccer game and broke her leg." Jack explains. "Patricia is dead. When she broke her leg, she got a infection." said Annie.
Jing begins to cry. Duncan, Kimberly, Jack and Annie all hug and honor Patricia's memory. "Not to sound selfish. Does this mean Date Night is cancelled?" asks Jack.
"For now, anyway." said Annie. "Very well. Until we can find a babysitter for Jing." Jack agreed. The Harris family retreats to their bedrooms. Duncan decides not to offer to babysit Jing as of yet.
"Nah, I better not. I'll wait." Duncan says to himself. "Wait for what?" asked Kimberly. "Oh, nothing! You know! High School Boy stuff. heh heh." Duncan told Kimberly.
*
The next day was when Jack and Annie's Date Night was going to take place. Annie calls around for another babysitter. However, every babysitter in Oakdale was busy. There was nobody available.
"Any luck finding a new babysitter for Jing?" asked Jack. "Afraid not." Annie said in sadness. "Guess this means we'll have to cancel our Date Night." Jack replies. "Oh I got it. I'll try that one girl Duncan likes, Mia!" Annie says.
Calling Mia on her cellphone, Annie learns that Mia was busy as well. Hearing all the commotion downstairs. Duncan decides to do something about it.
"Now is my chance! My chance to be an awesome babysitter! If Mia can do it! So can I!" Duncan says charging down the stairs. Then Duncan has another one of his fantasies that he has his own Reality Show where he is a babysitter for celebrities!
A TV Announcer voice talks along with a caption: " Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to another episode of Harris for Hire!"
It shows Duncan walking down a red carpet in Hollywood. "There he is! America's most famous babysitter. Duncan Harris!" An audience and some paprazzi were taking Duncan's picture for the tabloids. "Today Duncan Harris will be babysitting for...." Before the fantasy can go on any further. Duncan snaps out of it in time to tell Jack and Annie that wants to babysit for Jing.
"Look no further Mom and Dad! How about I babysit Jing!" Duncan offers. Jack and Annie are uncertain.
"Well, I don't know....." Annie said with hesitance.
"We know from past experience you're not so good by yourself..." Jack agrees.
"Oh come on! The past is the past! I've learned from that by now!" Duncan says. Kimberly scoffs, "Are you sure? How about all the times you've told my friends my real age when I'm trying to appear older?"
"Look Duncan, I know you mean well and everything. It's just...." Annie says. "You'll probably just throw another fire extinguisher in the oven again. Gosh, it was like Backdraft in our own house!" Jack recalls.
"I know better than that now." said Duncan. Jing comes in and offers a word of advice, "If I could get a word in edgewise here, Mom and Dad."
"What do you want to say, Jing?" asked Kimberly. "I think in all fairness. Duncan should babysit me. Especially if there is nobody else available." Jing impedes on her word.
Annie and Jack look at each other. Jing continues, "That way Mommy and Daddy can have their alone time..." "Jing! Where did you learn such a word!" Annie said.
"Uhh, Duncan I bet!" Kimberly giggles. "Why you little bitch! Always trying to get me in trouble!" Duncan said about to lunge at Kimberly. Annie stops them in time.
"What gives!" Kimberly asked. "Why do you always break up our fights, Mom!" Duncan asks. "Yeah, Dad never cares if we fight!" Kimberly says.
"OKay everybody stop!" Annie demands. "I've stopped." Jack froze in fear. "Not you, Jack! First up, Jack and I deserve some time for ourselves." Annie speaks out. "Agree with that much!" Jack joins in.
"Actually, babysitters cost money. So Duncan I'm going to let you babysit Jing for tonight!" Annie tells her son. Duncan jumps in the air, "YES!"
"Oh and Kimberly. We'd really appreciate it if you babysit Jing too!" Jack said. Kimberly stared blankly in a stunned trance. "WHAT! ME TOO?!"
Duncan puts his arm around Kimberly, "Yeah, why not! It will be a great way for us to get to know each other better!" The doorbell rings. Jing goes to answer it. Bradley was there.
"Hey, Jing! Too bad about Patricia, hey." Bradley said. "I know. However, my big brother and sister are going to babysit us!" Jing announced.
"That's great!" Bradley said. "Are you parents having Date Night, too?" asks Bradley. "No a business meeting." Bradley responds.
Jack and Annie were about to go out of their house to go on Date Night. Duncan says, "Cool! I get to babysit two kids!" "You're not doing this because of Mia are you?" asked Kimberly with suspicion.
"No! Course not!" Duncan spits back. "All rights kids. We're going now." Jack said going out the door. Annie was behind him and stops for a minute. "Oh and Duncan....."
"Yeah Mom?" Duncan says.
"If...You...Mess...This...Up...Or...Make...An...Ass...Of...Yourself...I...Will...Never...Trust...You...Again!" Annie warns Duncan who then stands up and salutes. "Ma'am yes ma'am! I won't let you down, ma'am!" Duncan said.
"Hope you won't." Annie said in a tone that sounded less than hopeful.
Annie left the house with Jack. Jing leads Bradley into the living room. Duncan was there. But Kimberly wasn't. "Where's Kimberly?" asked Jing.
"Kimberly. Just because Mom and Dad are gone the rules still apply!" Duncan calls his sister.
Coming downstairs, Kimberly now had a different hair color. Green.
Jing, Duncan, and Bradley all look at Kimberly's new hair with shock.
"What type of shit did you put in your hair!" Duncan asked. "First up, this green hair is a protest thing for having to be at home with you babysitting Jing, Duncan! I didn't ask for this!" Kimberly announced.
"Is there another reason?" asked Bradley. "Not that it's any of your business, Bradley. But there's a boy in school who's teasing me about my purple hair telling me I look like Leela from Futurama." Kimberly said.
"Futurama! I love that show! My Mommy and Daddy let me watch it!" said Bradley. "OKay. Listen up Jing and Bradley. I am in charge so here are some rules that I will lay down." Duncan said.
"Sure what are the rules?" asked Jing. "Number one, no leaving the house without me. Number two, no watching adult movies. Especially ones about gangsters and war." Duncan says.
"In other words, our Dad's DVD collection. Movies like The Untouchables and The Departed. Strictly prohibited!" Kimberly said now wanting in. "I thought you said you didn't want to do this." Duncan tells his sister.
"Well, I changed my mind, okay!" Kimberly says.
"Fine you can be my second in command, okay!" Duncan says. "Whatever works." Kimberly said.
"Thirdly, play safely and stay out of danger. Understood?" Duncan asks Jing and Bradley. "OKay, so it's settled." Bradley said. "We'll be extra good for you, big brother!" said Jing.
*
On the outskirts of Oakdale, Jack and Annie were taking a stagecoach ride. "What a peaceful night!" exclaims Annie. "Sure is. You know, maybe we can role play as Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster." Jack suggests. "Oh you mean like that Maverick movie?" asked Annie. "Exactly!" said Jack as he kisses Annie's hand.
"Ooooh! I'm liking this so far!" Annie cooes. Back at the Harris family house. Duncan and Kimberly were doing a good job so far at babysitting Jing and Bradley. However, things seem a little too quiet.
"I don't hear Jing and Bradley." says Kimberly.
"We should go check on them." said Duncan.
"Right." said Kimberly. "Silence is one of my triggers." Duncan told his sister.
Kimberly and Duncan run upstairs to Jing's bedroom. Only to see Jing and Bradley reading Macbeth and Hamlet.
"What the hell...." Duncan says.
Jing puts down the book after looking at it, "So this is what they call Old English, right?"
"That's correct, Jing!" Bradley chirps.
"Hey, those are very adult books you're reading!" Duncan tells Jing and Bradley. "Yeah, those books are so sophisticated even I don't understand them!" said Kimberly.
"Oh come on. It could be worse. At least we're not making noise!" said Jing. "Yeah, what's wrong with reading Shakespeare?" asks Bradley.
"You're too young, that's what!" said Duncan. "What did we say about doing adult things?" asked Kimberly.
"Oh we're sorry." Jing begins. "We thought that only applied to movies like you said." Bradley said.
"We forgot to add that applies to books, too." said Duncan.
Jing and Bradley decide to take a stand, "You know Duncan. For the past two hours or so it's been one rule after another!" said Bradley.
"I wasn't like that!" Duncan denies. "Yes you were, for the past two hours you've been going repeating the rules over and over." said Jing.
"Yeah, why else did we go into Jing's bedroom to read adult books! We wanted to defy you!" Bradley said. "And now we all continue to do so!" Jing says.
"Okay, fine. Maybe I did go overboard with that and...wait, what?! DEFY?" Duncan was shocked and awed as Jing and Bradley open Jing's bedroom window and climb out.
"NO! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! PLEASE! COME BACK! COME BACK!" Kimberly shouted.
After climbing out of bedroom window, Jing and Bradley run off into the night.
"Holy shit! I was afraid this was going to happen." Duncan panics. "I know! If Mom finds out she'll never trust you again. Well, maybe Dad will go easy on us...." Kimberly says.
"Come on! We need to get them back!" Duncan orders his sister.
Running outside their house, Duncan and Kimberly see Jing and Bradley run far into the city. "Okay we have them in our sights. Still good still good." Kimberly says.
Jing and Bradley run into a Mini Mart and go inside. Duncan and Kimberly were able to track them down.
"God bless Yangzi and these tracking apps." said Duncan. Kimberly runs inside the Mini Mart to look for Jing and Bradley. Once she spotted them, Jing and Bradley throw down a trash can to block Kimberly's path.
"Where did they learn how to do that!" said Kimberly.
Outside the Mini Mart, Duncan goes in however, Jing and Bradley run by him before he could stop them. Kimberly runs out. A Matthew McConaughey look a like sees the whole thing and says, "That's the thing I like about high school girls. They keep getting younger and I keep getting older!"
"This is like Dazed and Confused The Early Years." said Duncan. "Yeah, none of us have a getaway car." Kimberly retorted.
"Damn! Now what!" Duncan said. A voice from behind talks to Duncan. "You need help with anything?" Duncan and Kimberly turn around and see two men. "Hello, my name is Bob." "And this is Larry."
"Okay, Bob and Larry is it?" asked Duncan. "At your service." said Larry. "We need help. We are babysitting our little sister and her friend." said Kimberly.
"This is on me, Kimberly. Let me handle this." Duncan advises his sister. "So what do I have to do to get help from you to find my sister and bring her home?" asks Duncan.
"Uhhh, give us your address." said Bob. Duncan agrees to do so. Kimberly looks kind of grim.
Bob says, "Carry on, we'll help you when you need us." "Okay thank you!" Duncan says running off with Kimberly.
Larry begins to laugh, "Stupid kid!" "He actually thinks we're going to help him!" implied Bob. "Now thanks to him, we have a house to rob!" said Larry.
"When will we do it?" asked Bob eagerly. "Once they find their sister, we'll break into their house." said Larry. "Awesome plan, Larry!" said Bob. "We'll give them a night of babysitting they'll never forget!
Still on the run to get Jing and Bradley back. Duncan uses the Tracker App to track their whereabouts.
"Why did you tell those strangers where we live?" asks Kimberly. "It'll come in handy later. Now shut up I'm trying to track down Jing and Bradley." Duncan demanded.
Using the Tracker App, Duncan discovers that Jing and Bradley were headed towards the Tech Con. "A-ha! Tech Con!" Duncan said.
Running to the Tech Con, Duncan and Kimberly find themselves among a crowd of people trying hard not to push them away and be rude. Jing and Bradley look around the Tech Con.
"Wow! This place is like a wonderland!" Bradley exclaims. "No kidding! Duncan will never find us here!" Jing says. A shady looking man was stealing a Blackberry and puts it in his bag. However, the Blackberry hits he floor and Jing picks it up.
"Wonder what this pretty thing is!" Jing says holding the Blackberry. "Maybe it's something you can shoot people with like a gun!" said Bradley. Taking the Blackberry Bradley aims it in the air. "BANG BANG! Look! I'm Alec Baldwin!" Jing laughs. Their fun comes to an end or so it seemed when Duncan and Kimberly finally caught up with them.
"Ha! I found you! Now you both are coming home before Mom and Dad come back from their Date Night so I can prove to them that I'm responsible." Duncan says.
Jing and Bradley take off. "We don't think so!" "We are not going to sit and listen to your rules all the time!"
"Shit! Here we go again!" said Kimberly.
Chasing Jing and Bradley though the crowd of people at Tech Con. Duncan runs into Yangzi, Wolf. and Bex.
"Duncan dawg! You decided to come after all!" Yangzi says.
"You're just in time for the Blackberry funeral!" Wolf implied.
"I snuck out! My grandma has no idea I'm here!" Bex says. "Look, I'd love to hang around with you guys, but I gotta go!" Duncan says running away with Kimberly. "Bye, Wolf! Forever and always!" Kimberly calls out blowing a kiss. Kimberly was relived that nobody noticed her now green hair however a little disappointed that Wolf didn't notice.
"Dammit! Was hoping that..." Kimberly is about to say.
"Don't do that long face, Kimberly. We have something more important going on then Wolf noticing your new hairdo." Duncan tells his sister. "Right, of course!" Kimberly says.
Jing and Bradley made their way out of Tech Con. "So where do you want to go next just to push Duncan's buttons!?" asked Bradley.
Pointing to a house, Jing says, "THERE!"
At the stagecoach. Jack and Annie were enjoying their Date Night together. "Wish this didn't have to end." said Annie. "Hopefully, we'll come back and see that Duncan has done a good job with Jing." Jack said. At the Harris house, Bob and Larry were already there.
"So, when do you think this idiot kid is going to come home?" asked Larry. "Trust me, soon he will." said Bob. "Once he comes home then we rob?" asked Larry. "You catch on really quick there! Until then, we wait!" said Bob. "Like the way you think Bob, it's like shooting a bird right out of it's nest." said Larry.
*
When the Shady Man from Tech Con who bought the Blackberry come back to his trailer. He was unpacking his bag. Which had alcohol, cocaine and what he thinks is the Blackberry.
"Beer, check! Cocaine check, Blackberry...." searches the Shady Man who then goes haywire when he realizes his Blackberry is gone.
"WHERE IS MY BLACKBERRY! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BLACKBERRY! I WANT MY FUCKING BLACKBERRY!"
The phone on the wall on his trailer rings he goes to answer it. "You there?" the man on the other end said. The man who called the Shady Man was none other than Bob. "Yes Bob it's me." Shady Man says.
"We tried to reach you on your Blackberry! Where the fuck are you?" shouted Bob. "Some mother fucking kids stole my Blackberry!" shouted the Shady Man back into the phone.
"Well, forget that for now. Come on over to this address..." Bob tells the Shady Man Duncan's address. "What are we going to plan over there to get my Blackberry back?" asked the Shady Man. "No, something big! I'll tell you when you come over!" Bob tells the Shady Man as they both hang up the phone. The Shady Man takes a couple of hits of cocaine before he leaves.
"NNNOOWWW!! SOMEBODY IS GOING TO DIE! FOR TAKING MY FUCKING BLACKBERRY!" The Shady Man was now on his way to meet Bob and Larry at the Harris house.
Jing and Bradley walk into the house that they planned to go into. The house was having a party. The party was being thrown by kids from a Junior High from out of town.
"YAY! YAY! We're in the party!" Bradley said. "I hope Duncan never finds us here!" said Jing. the Junior High students who were having the party don't notice Jing and Bradley.
"TURN UP THAT MUSIC YEAH!" "PLAY BABY SHARK"!
Duncan and Kimberly used the Tracking App once more to try to find Jing and Bradley. Kimberly looks around, "OH NO! I can't be here!"
"Why? We need to be. Jing and Bradley are in danger!" Duncan says.
"This party is where those bad rowdy Junior High kids from out of town are." Kimberly implied. The Junior HIgh kids soon see Duncan and Kimberly and immediately throw stuff at them.
"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE OAKDALE! GO BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG! WE DON'T WANT YOU LOSER OAKDALE KIDS HERE!"
Duncan and Kimberly run away from the maddening crowd. Kimberly soon sees some drinks. "Cool! This must be beer!" she observes.
"NO! This is no time to..." Duncan says. Kimberly takes a drink anyway. "Stay out of our energy drink, green hair!" "Yeah! What's with the green hair, bitch! You from another planet or something!"
Ignoring the insults Kimberly drinks the energy drink. "I think this might be Red Bull!" Kimberly said.
Duncan says, "Red Bull!" Going into one of his fantasies again, Duncan drinks a Red Bull and gets wings like in those commercials. Duncan flies into the air and scoops up Jing and Bradley and puts them back in the house. then Duncan is about to fly over to to Mia's house then Duncan comes back to his senses when he spots Jing and Bradley. On the staircase.
Jing and Bradley run down the stairs. "The spotted us!"
Kimberly runs up the stairs and yells at Jing and Bradley. "Jing Harris! You come here this minute! You are in such big...." Kimberly says to her adopted sister then she vomits the energy drink she drank.
Some of the Junior High kids laugh at Kimberly after she puked up the Red Bull. "Ha Ha! Green haired alien girl can't hold a Red Bull!" "I'd like to see her hold some beer!"
Kimberly feeling a little sick from the Red Bull catches up with Duncan who now was blocking Jing's and Bradley's path.
"Red Bull gives you wings my ass! Red Bull makes you puke!" Kimberly said with a snide remark.
"OKay you caught us." Jing gives in. "Yeah, it was fun while it lasted." said Bradley.
"Do you guys have any idea what you have put me and Kimberly through! Now on my command we are going to go home and...."
Kimberly's cell phone rings. She answers it and it was Jack and Annie. "Hello, Kimberly!" Annie says. "Oh hey Mom!" said Kimberly.
"Just would like to let you know that we'll be home in the an hour." Jack said. Kimberly gulped. "Oh okay! Everything is fine and dandy here as you always say, Dad!"
"Okay see you all then, goodbye!" Jack says hanging up his cellphone.
Kimberly approaches Duncan, Jing, and Bradley. "Guys, we need to go home!"
"Damn straight we do!" Duncan inclined. "No seriously! Mom and Dad called! They're going to be home in an hour!" Kimberly explains.
"Oh my! Ahhh! Shit in a bucket! We gotta get out of here!" Duncan says.
Kimberly, Duncan, Jing, and Bradley all run out of the house where the Junior High party was taking place. "So glad to be out of there!" Kimberly said. "I know right. It was like a Junior High version of Superbad in there!" Duncan agrees. "I just hope there's no app videos of me puking that Red Bull." said Kimberly.
"We don't have time to worry about that. Now we need to try to find a fast way to get home!" Duncan says.
*
Done with their stagecoach ride, Jack and Annie are in the car returning home. "That was fun! Just the two of us." Jack says. "Yeah, for once we were at peace." said Annie. "All we needed to do was put our trust in Duncan and Kimberly." said Jack.
"Don't be so sure. They'll be a mess when we get back. I just know it!" said Annie. "Why did you say that?" asked Jack. "Mother's intuition that's what." Annie tells her husband.
The stagecoach was still moving. Duncan was trying to find a way to get home in an hour. "If Mom and Dad come home before us...." Duncan said nervously.
Tensions were riding high. Jing and Bradley soon regretted their act of rebellion. "I'm so sorry." said Bradley. "I bet you are!" Kimberly concedes.
"All the hell you put us though, you better pray Mom and Dad don't find out!" Duncan says to his youngest sister.
"Hey, Duncan. Do stagecoaches move my themselves." Kimberly asks. Pointing in a direction. Duncan sees the stagecoach. "That's it! Horses can go fast! I know from all those Western movies Dad always watches." Duncan says.
Jing, Bradley, Duncan, and Kimberly all go onto the stagecoach. Duncan takes the reigns.
"Giddyup!" Duncan orders the horses. With a gust of wind and some luck. The stagecoach was moving very fast.
"WEEE! FUN! Duncan rides a horsey!" Jing says. "Home here we come!" said Bradley. "Im making a promise." Jing says. "What is it?" asked Bradley.
"To never run away like that ever again!" said Jing. "Yeah, I realize now this wasn't a good thing to do." BRaadley agrees. "Too bad you didn't think about that, before." Kimberly says in a cynical sense.
Back at the Harris house, Bob, Larry, and The Shady Man were laying in wait. "Any minute now......" said Larry. "I'll get my Blackberry back!" said the Shady Man. "Fuck your Blackberry!" yelled Bob. "Once those teens come back, we'll have them right at the palm of our hands!" Larry said evilly.
In the stagecoach, Duncan asks Jing and Bradley why they ran away. "Why exactly did you do this to us?"
"Because we wanted to see what it was like to be a teenager." Jing answers. "Yeah, from what I saw of you, Duncan. Sneaking out. Let's face it. I have seen you sneak out of your house. You make being a teenager look like fun!" Bradley stated clearly.
"Yeah, well being a teenager isn't all peaches and sunshine you know!" Duncan said. Kimberly adds on, "It's not peaches and sunshine to be a preteen either!"
The stagecoach rides past the Tech Con, then Oakdale High, Oakdale Mall then in their neighborhood. "All right! Almost home everybody!" Duncan announced.
Then Kimberly reminded her brother of Bob and Larry. "What happened with those guys you gave our address to?"
"Son of a bitch! We got so caught up in chasing after Jing and Bradley. Guess I forgot." Duncan said. "Maybe they did too!" Kimberly says. "Anybody like this Blackberry!" Jing asks. "Those are long gone." Duncan says. "You're behind on the techno times." Kimberly says. "That's okay. I am too!" Bradley added.
Once they came home, neither of the four had any idea that there were intruders in their house. Bob, Larry, and the Shady Man hear Duncan, Kimberly, Jing, and Bradley all about to walk inside their home.
"It's magic time!" Bob snickers. "Places people, places!" Larry said.
Bob, Larry, and the Shady Man all hid away. Waiting for the exact moment, Jing, Duncan, Kimberly, and Bradley all walk into the house.
Duncan bursts through the door. "Home Sweet Home!" "It's all the same as we left it." exclaimed Kimberly. Jing looks at the clock, "Oh look. We beat Mommy and Daddy." "Maybe my parents are coming home too." Bradley says.
"Home Sweet Home?" "I don't think so!" "More like Death Sweet Death!"
Duncan, Kimberly, Bradley, and Jing were all spooked by the voices. Out of the darkness emerges Bob, Larry, and The Shady Guy.
"Oh, shit! I forgot about them!" Duncan says who remembered he gave his address to strangers.
"Great! They're going to kill us! You're going to be the death of me, Duncan!" Kimberly says.
"The green haired girl is right!" said Bob. "Now, tell us what we want to know." said Larry. "What do you want to know? I dread asking." Bradley says.
"Where do your parents keep your money!" Bob says. "Where's my fucking Blackberry!" screamed the Shady Man "You mean this?" asked Jing taking out the Blackberry. The Shady Man grabbed it away from Jing, and was very happy that his beloved Blackberry was found.
"OH FUCK YES! OH YES! OH YES! MY BLACKBERRY IS BACK! MY BLACKBERRY IS THE SHIT!" The Shady Man ran happily. Then out of the house.
"Hey, we needed him!" said Larry. "Oh, fuck him, anyway! Let's get some answers out of these kids." said Bob.
Charging in on Duncan and Bradley. Kimberly and Jing sneak away.
"Where do you keep your valuables?" asked Bob to Duncan. "Look I don't know...." Duncan stammers. "Tell us now! Or you'll get a bullet in your head!" Larry said.
"Oh, Kimberly is right. Why was I so stupid to trust you guys!" Duncan thinks to himself.
"We love to ask teens in trouble where they live so we can rob their houses!" said Bob. "Uhh, can you go now? My parents will be home in...." Duncan said.
"They're not going to listen to us!" Bradley implies. "We're going to call the cops if you don't..." Duncan shouted. Bob and Larry begin to teat apart the house until they find something valuable. Jing and Kimberly were in her room.
"This was rather selfish. Abandoning Duncan and Bradley." Kimberly implies. "I have a plan to get rid of these guys." said Jing.
"What is it?" asks Kimberly. "We both know Witch Craft, right?" asked Jing. "Of course! I taught you about it on last year's Witch Day!" recalls Kimberly.
"Let's get our Witch Kits and blow these robbers to Kingdom Come!" said Jing. "Awesome! It'll be like my all time favorite movie The Craft!" said Kimberly.
Going into her closet, Kimberly gets her Witch Kit. After Bob and Larry were done trashing the house. They hone in on Duncan and Bradley. "I won't let Duncan be the death of this family or me!" vows Kimberly.
"We're going to ask one more time. Where does your parents keep the money!" Bob said. "We told you we don't know!" Duncan shouts back. "You don't want to hurt us kids, do you? Don't you know what they do to child killers in prison?" asked Bradley.
Duncan's and Bradley's pleas were useless against Bob and Larry. "All I wanted was to be a babysitter. This is the price I pay!" Duncan bemoaned. Before Bob and Larry could do anything to Duncan. Kimberly and Jing confront Bob and Larry with Kimberly's Witch Kit.
"Stop evildoers!" "Leave my brother and friend alone!"
"What are you bitches going to do about it?" asked both Bob and Larry.
"THIS!" Kimberly shouted. Jing and Kimberly waves their wands at Bob and Larry. "We're witches! And you should always be afraid of witches!" Kimberly boasted.
Bob and Larry find themselves levitating in the air. Then Kimberly and Jing do some Witches Chant. "Round about the couldron go: In The poisons entrails throw!"
Duncan and Bradley were amazed at how Kimberly and Jing saved them. Bob and Larry soar high into the sky then land in a garbage dump. Never to be seen or heard from again. Kimberly and Jing save the day.
"Wow, Kimberly and Jing! Your witchcraft sure came in handy! You saved our asses!" Duncan says. "I don't condone swearing but, thank you." Bradley extends his gratitude. "You may be annoying and nerve wracking at times, but it was the least I could do!" said Kimberly.
"That was the reason I read Shakespeare. Bet you're glad I did!" said Jing. "I am this time. Sorry I got mad at you for reading a book that wasn't appropriate for your age level." said Duncan.
"That's okay." Jing said.
Kimberly sees the clock. "SHIT! 20 more minutes until Mom and Dad come home!" The house was still a mess after the ordeal with Bob and Larry.
"I know! Let's use some more Witchcraft!" Jing advised. "I'm with you on this!" said Kimberly.
Waving their wands once more, The house that was once a mess was now cleaned. Kimberly's hair turned back purple and she was saddened. "Oh great!" A car drove up in the driveway. It was Jack and Annie.
"Okay, they're home. Everyone get on the couch!" orders Duncan. "Pretend nothing happened!" Kimberly says. "Your secret is safe!" said Jing. "With me as well!" added on Bradley.
Annie and Jack walk in and see everything was in place and order. They had no idea the adventure Duncan, Kimberly, Jing, and Bradley had.
"Hey, Mom I did a good job!" said Duncan to Annie. "Why I guess you did! Everything is fine is good." said Annie. "Guess we can trust you to be by yourself." said Jack.
"Wow thank you!" said Duncan. "Yep we just had a nice time. Playing board games, listening to music, you know that sort of thing!" said Kimberly.
"Since this whole Date Night thing has worked out, maybe we can have Duncan babysit Jing next week!" Jack suggests.
"Would I!" Duncan says.
"Yes you can. Now let's just look forward to the weekend!" Annie says. Bradley's parents come to pick him up and he goes home. "Goodbye. Thanks for everything!" Bradley says as he exits the Harris house. Jack, Annie, Duncan, Jing, and Kimberly all went about their day.
The Shady Man ran into their house with his Blackberry and screamed, "HA HA HA HA HA! NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH! I got a Blackberry and you don't!" Annie heard him and hit the Shady Man on the head with a frying pan and kicked him out of the house.
"What the hell was that all about?" wondered Annie.
"Did something happen?" Jack rushed to his wife.
"Yeah but I took care of it." said Annie.
"Okay then. I'm ready for bed." said Jack.
*
Jack and Annie never found out what really happened with Duncan's babysitting escapade. It remained a secret forever. The following Monday. Duncan went to Mia's locker. "Hey, Mia! How did you babysitting gig go?" he asked his crush. "It was excellent." said Mia.
"Say, I was thinking this weekend, do you want to come over and help me babysit Jing?" asked Duncan. "Of course I would! I've always wanted to get to know your adopted sister." Mia says. "Awesome! See you Saturday!" said Duncan. "See you then!" Mia says.
The boy who teased Kimberly about her purple hair. His name was Frank greets Kimberly.
"If you want to make fun of my hair, just come out and say it." Kimberly says.
Frank says, "I just want to say that I like your purple hair."
"You do?" asked Kimberly in frozen shock.
"Yes! Of course. I never meant to be mean to you about it. Anyway I was thinking..." Frank begins.
"What is it?" asked Kimberly.
"This Saturday there's going to be a Sci Fi Con. Was wondering if you'd like to come!" Frank says.
"You mean like I date! I sure can! I have nothing going on this weekend." said Kimberly.
"Awesome! We can cosplay too! I'll be Fry and you and be Leela!" said Frank.
"Cool! It's settled!" said Kimberly.
For the upcoming weekend, both Kimberly and Duncan got lucky. Sci Fi Con for Kimberly and her new boyfriend Frank. Babysitting Jing with Mia for Duncan.
When Duncan came home from school. He goes on his computer and makes a website. It was called.
"HARRIS FOR HIRE: BABYSITTING BUSINESS!"
"Me and Mia will be the best babysitters in all of Oakdale in no time at all!" said Duncan.
The End
The Proceeding Has Been A Narwhal Puppy Production!
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