FicWad

You are about to enter the first ever story of the newest member of the Wacoverse! The new Netflix adult animated series....FARZAR!


Story: Planet Before Time

by: Zoey Webber


Somewhere in the Nether Region. There stood Bazarack's Kingdom in Bazarack's fortress he is plotting revenge against SHAT Squad. Namely Against King Renzo and Prince Fichael. He looks at his viewscreen.

BAZARACK: You know, CLITARIS, It's about time I got my revenge on King RENZO and SHAT Squad!

CLITARIS: Oh, get over it, BAZARACK!

BAZARACK: Ever since they made me lose my right to enter RENZO's kingdom with that Energy Dome!

CLITARIS: That was 12 years ago!

BAZARACK: Also, They made me lose my head......

CLITARIS: Don't remind me of puberty you went though!

BAZARACK: Well, I don't care what you think! I'm getting revenge and I know just how to do it!

CLITARIS: I want nothing to do with this! I'm out of here!

BAZARACK: FINE! GO AHEAD AND GO!

CLITARIS leaves and BAZARACK looks at his viewscreen and sees FICHAEL and BILLY at a concert.

BAZARACK: Yes, that's it! If I eliminate FICHAEL and RENZO, all the rest of SHAT Squad will Fall! Minion!

Back on Farzar in Dome City, FICHAEL and BILLY were at a Christina Perri's head concert and she's singing Jars of Hearts.

BILLY: How do you like the concert, FICHAEL?

FICHAEL: I'll admit she's hot, but I don't really like her music.

BILLY: I'm glad you came with me. We should hang out with BILLY more often

FICHAEL: Is this a Lilith Fair thing?

BILLY: No, of course not. BILLY always liked girl singers. I even like Miley Cyrus!

FICHAEL: Only came because you could use a friend. I've always kind of liked you, BILLY. You don't deserve the crap you get.

BILLY: Awww, thank you FICHAEL. Am I a better friend to you than RENZO?

FICHAEL: RENZO's my dad, but.....

BILLY gets up to go get a drink.

BILLY: Say no more! Can BILLY get you a beer?

FICHAEL: Sure.

VENDOR: Balloons! Balloons! Get your free balloons!

FICHAEL: Better yet, I want free balloons!

BILLY: FICHAEL! I don't trust that guy.....

FICHAEL ran to the balloon vendor who gave him a bundle of balloons, The vendor was really an Quarf in disguise. Once FICHAEL got the balloons, he started to float away.

FICHAEL: Weeeee! This is fun! Come join me BILLY!

BILLY: FICHAEL! You're floating away! Not without BILLY you're not!

BILLY runs after FICHAEL as he floats away.

FICHAEL continues to float away and BILLY chases after him screaming for him to come back. Then a spaceship takes FICHAEL in and floats off into space.

BILLY: FICHAEL!!!!!! Come back! Come back! Come back, Shane! Come back, Shane! Oops! Wrong person.

Meanwhile at Castle in Dome City. RENZO was alone watching a porno. Queen Flammy was visiting her family for the weekend.

RENZO: Nobody can ruin my fun, now! HA! HA! HA! HA!

BILLY breaks into his apartment.

RENZO: Ever heard of knocking? Were you raised in a barn? Wouldn't be surprised!

BILLY: You got to help me! BILLY has an emergency! An urgent emergency!

RENZO: Don't quote Foreigner to me! Fine. What is it?

BILLY: It's FICHAEL. BILLY was at a concert with your son and he got some balloons from a vendor and he floated away into a spaceship!

RENZO points the finger at BILLY.

RENZO: I'll never trust FICHAEL to go anywhere with you again! Do you happen to see who it was?

BILLY: No, it was that Quarf dude! I recognized their car.

RENZO: I've been looking for a reason to ban you from my kingdom....

BILLY: It's not BILLY's place to protect FICHAEL! Bazarack's goons made Fichael go away.

RENZO: You and I both know what a dumbass you can be. You probably thought this Vendor was going to be a fun friend for you! Besides, you were jealous of FICHAEL because he's a prince and you're a god knows fucking what!

BILLY: Billy tried to get him back! He got lost!

RENZO got really angry and started to beat up BILLY. Until a box fell out of BILLY's stomach.

BILLY: Look! BILLY got Evidence!

RENZO took out the box and opened it and out came a balloon that looked like Bazarack.

BALLOON: Follow the arrows when you get the Nether World!

The box exploded.

BILLY: See! BILLY told you so!

RENZO: Well, there's nobody at SHAT Squad today. So, I'm going on the flying scooter to save FICHAEL.

BILLY: Can I come, too? We can have a fun adventure out of this!

RENZO: No! I still blame you! Get outta my sight you Noah's Ark looking mother fucker!

BILLY: Awwwww.

RENZO runs into the empty castle and takes off with the ship and heads toNether World.

Once RENZO was in The Nether World, he follows the arrows that lead to Bazarack's fortress. Then he goes into a basement and it was cluttered.

RENZO: Aw, man! I never knew BAZARACK was a hoarder! He should be on that Hoarder's show!

RENZO went into the basement, he finds FICHAEL who's locked in a rocketship. He was bound and gagged.

FICHAEL: Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm!

RENZO opens the rocket ship and unties FICHAEL.

RENZO: Son! My son! Don't worry I'll get you out of here faster than you can say "Daylight Come and We Want to Go Home".

Then BAZARACK appeared on a viewscreen before them.

BAZARACK: Good evening!

RENZO: What the hell? Who the hell kidnapped us? Doctor Doom from the Fantastic Four?

BAZARACK: See you fell into our trap! Did you know that's a rocketship you're in?

RENZO: Where are you going with this?

BAZARACK pushes a button that activates the rocketship.

BAZARACK: This is all part of my revenge plot against you! With you two no longer with SHAT Squad or in Dome City, the Kingdom will fail!

RENZO: BAZARACK! You son of a bitch!

FICHAEL: What'll we do now, Dad!

RENZO: Don't worry, my boy! I'll think of something, I always do!

And with that BAZARACK laughes evilly as RENZO and FICHAEL shoot through space in the rocketship until it lands on a faraway planet. They both come out of the rocketship and they see mountains and palm trees all around.

FICHAEL: What is this place?

Then they see dinosaurs in the distance.

RENZO: Looks like the set of The Land That Time Forgot.

FICHAEL: It's like a real-life Jurassic Park!

RENZO and FICHAEL decided to explore the planet. Until they are attacked by a ptyordactal.

FICHAEL: Ahhhh! It wants to eat us.

RENZO: Maybe you, but not me.

FICHAEL stands back as he watches RENZO fight off the ptyordactal, then he finishes it off by by breaking it's neck and back.

RENZO: HA! Up your ass with a rubber Slag Slam...shit...I'm no good at rhymes!

FICHAEL: That was close. The dinosaurs here attack you. I better stay behind you.

RENZO: I know this planet. It's called Pangaea. This is where the dinosaurs went when they got banished from earth.

Back at the Nether World, BAZARACK was watching FICHAEL and RENZO from his viewscreen.

BAZARACK: Oh, well, that was just one dinosaur they kill. Hey, CLITARIS! Come take a look at this!

CLITARIS: I told you I want nothing to do with this. So, screw off!

BAZARACK: They're going to get killed and I will have my revenge! You're getting involved whether you fucking like it or not!

CLITARIS: Okay! All right! You win! If you end up liking it there so much, buy me and my wife a place there!


BAZARACK: You got yourself a deal. As long as Renzo and Fichael get sodomized and torn to pieces!


On Pangaea, FICHAEL and RENZO come face to face with a brontosaurs, stegasaurus and a T-Rex.

FICHAEL: What the actual FUCK! This is the scariest plaent I've ever been to!

RENZO: Not if I can help it.

Taking out a chainsaw, RENZO uses the chainsaw and a laser sword that shoots lasers and fights off the dinosaurs. And finishes them off by breaking every bone in their bodies.

FICHAEL: Wow, RENZO. You're like an action hero.

RENZO: We might as well be on that Predators planet! But why did BAZARACK send us here?

FICHAEL: He wanted to eliminate our asses, we've been at war with him for years.

Just then they were stopped by a bunch of cavemen.

RENZO: What the fuck is this, Primal?

BIG CAVEMAN: We resent that!

MIDDLE CAVEMAN: You're both under arrest!

FICHAEL: For what?

SMALL CAVEMAN: For killing those dinosaurs! We worshipped them.

And with that, FICHAEL and RENZO were put on a quicky trial and were both found guilty.

RENZO: Should've hired President Banana!

FICHAEL: We have even have lawyers on Farzar?

CAVEMAN JUDGE: You are both sentenced to death! Death by Chee-Chee! Take them away!

FICHAEL and RENZO were both taken away in wrist and leg irons.

RENZO: What exactly is Chee-Chee? Is it fun? Is it like a S&M thing?

FICHAEL was crying his eyes out as he was being lead away.

FICHAEL: It's the end! The end! The Cavemen lead FICHAEL and RENZO to a tree with a tire swing tied to it.

MIDDLE CAVEMAN: This is your death sentence! Chee-Chee!

RENZO: You're going to kill us with a tree swing? You're fucking pathetic!

FICHAEL: This is the price I pay for going to concerts with BILLY!

RENZO: You can say that again!

FICHAEL: These chains are too tight, can you loosen them?

BIG CAVEMAN: No, you'll be in them until you rot!

MIDDLE CAVEMAN: Who should we kill first?

SMALL CAVEMAN: The robot! Come forward!

Another Caveman escorts RENZO to the tree swing and straps him into it.

RENZO: No swing can kill me! You don't know who you're dealing with! Let me go you Alley-Oop mother fuckers!

All four caveman twirled the tire swing around until the rope was twisted. Then it was released and RENZO got sent into a spinning frenzy.

RENZO: BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLB!!!!!!

FICHAEL: RENZO! Noooooo!

RENZO pretended to be dead when the tired stopped spinning. He was thrown into a pile of skeletons. FICHAEL started to cry.

FICHAEL: Oh, my god! You killed RENZO! You sick ass bastards!

MIDDLE CAVEMAN: If it's any concellation, you'll soon be joining him!

The Caveman then put FICHAEL into the tire swing and strapped him in. Then they spun the tire until the rope was twisted and then was released. Then FICHAEL started spinning around.

FICHAEL: Please! Make it stop! Someone help me!

Once the tire stopped spinning, FICHAEL fainted from the dizziness and fell to sleep.

BIG CAVEMAN: Yes! We did it!

MIDDLE CAVEMAN: Justice was served!

The Small Caveman takes FICHAEL out of the tire.

SMALL CAVEMAN: Let's play with our other dinosaur friends.

FICHAEL was thrown next to RENZO who started to wake up.

RENZO: Pretending to be dead. Works every time!

Breaking free from his chains Renzo started to wake up FICHAEL.

FICHAEL: Blahhhhh.......

RENZO: Hold on sweet prince! I'll get some smelling salt!

Then RENZO got some smelling salt out of his boots and puts it in FICHAEL's nose. FICHAEL woke up instantly and started vominting.

FICHAEL: BLAHHHHHH! There! I'm done. BLAHHHHHHHHH! There! I'm done!

From a distance, they see BAZARACK and CLITARIS walking around.

RENZO: Look, FICHAEL. It's BAZARACK and CLITARIS. I got a plan.

FICHAEL: Let's go confront them.

RENZO: We will, but first I'll get you out of these.

RENZO got FICHAEL out of his wrist and leg irons and they were walking towards BAZARACK and CLITARIS.

CLITARIS: You said there were good property values here!

BAZARACK: If I said there wasn't any, you wouldn't have came. So, I lied.

Then BAZARACK and CLITARIS started fighting and RENZO screamed.

RENZO: SILENCE!!!!!!

They look at him shocked.

FICHAEL: Why did you send us to this planet?

RENZO: You thought you can kill us, didn't you?

Then the Cavemen came to the scene.

BAZARACK: I had you banished here so I can have my revenge!

CLITARIS: He's still not over that Single Female Lawyer thing!

BIG CAVEMAN: What's going on?

MIDDLE CAVEMAN: What are you clowns still doing here?

RENZO: I'm afraid you misunderstood!

FICHAEL: These guys kidnapped us out of revenge!

They point to BAZARACK and CLITARIS.

RENZO: We're not the instigators! They are! That's the rocketship they put us in!

SMALL CAVEMAN: Is that so?

FICHAEL and RENZO point to the rocketship.

FICHAEL: Damn straight, dude. BAZARACK tied me up in it and RENZO came to save me.....

RENZO: Then they locked us in and sent us here.

BIG CAVEMAN: Okay, you two are off the hook, no hard feelings.

MIDDLE CAVEMAN: But as for you two.....

FICHAEL and RENZO sneak away to the rocketship and RENZO fixes it up.

SMALL CAVEMAN: Dinosaurs, attack!

The Cavemen blew a horn and a bunch of dinosaurs came and chased BAZARACK and CLITARIS around the planet.

CLITARIS: Well, now you know why I never liked working for you!

BAZARACK: When we get back to the Nether World, I'm kidnapping and raping Silah and making you watch

RENZO and FICHAEL took off in the rocketship and go back to Nether World and then Earth.

FICHAEL: Should we tell the others what happened to us?

RENZO: Nah, we'll just say we took a trip!

FICHAEL: Okay.

Back at Dome City with the SHAT Squad, FICHAEL and RENZO arrive back safely. Val and Mal were teaching in the preschool.

SCOOTIE: Where have you been?

ZOBO: We've been worried sick! I almost created chaos!

BARRY BARRIS: You owe us an explaination!

RENZO: We went to uh...uh.... Shady Acreon 4! Yep!

FICHAEL: Yes, that's it.

SCOOTIE: Okay, we believe you! Now that I know you guys are cool, I'm going to get high on some good old weed!

BARRY BARRIS: Don't sneak off like that again! We need you to rule this planet!

ZOBO: We thought you were kidnapped!

RENZO: Kidnapped? Big tough guy like me? HA!

SCOOTIE: How about I take you both for some hemp flavored frozen yogurt and beer?

FICHAEL: You mean like a guy's night out?

SCOOTIE: Yes, sort of.

RENZO: It's a deal!

SCOOTIE: And you call tell us about your trip.

FICHAEL & RENZO: Sure, we will.