FicWad

The next week passed fairly uneventfully mostly Jenna, Frankie, Max and Mike working on the stables Jenna's horses had some time off after the nationals which gave her more time to chill out and to help frankie with some of her horses too. They'd just finished up on yards one night as Jenna was walking back to the house she noticed a car pull up and Billy get out of it. Jenna hadn't seen or spoke to any of the good chsrlotte guys since seraya's party. She smiled as she walked over to greet him.
"Billy, hey. What brings you here?" Jenna asked.
"Hey good to see you. How are you?" Billy asked.
"I'm good thank you. Keeping busy. You?" Jenna smiled still unsure of why he was there but happy to see him anyway.
" good thank you. I just came by to say it's my birthday at the weekend and we're going out for some food and drinks. Nothing too wild but I'd really like it if you could come be nice to spend some time together and catch up. Max, frankie and Mike are more than welcome too." Billy smiled. Jenna looled at him before giving her answer. She would love to spend some time with the good charlotte guys again and catch up with them even if she was a bit apprehensive about the fact Benji would be there and how it would be with everyone too. Billy gave her a pleading look.
"I'd love too." Jenna smiled making the smile grow on his face too. "And I'm sure those guys would love to come too." Jenna smiled nodding her head towards the house where Max, frankie and Mike was.
"Aw thays great news, I'll look forward to it." Billy smiled.
"Do you want to come in for a drink?" Jenna asked.
"No its OK thank you, I have to get on. I've got some errands to run. I just wanted to take the time to invite you personally as it really does mean alot that you'll come." Billy said.
"Aw come here." Jenna smiled giving him a hug she had missed the guys since the festival ended. she didn't realise how much she had got used to them being there again after all that time.
The two days past to it being the night of Billy's birthday meal. Mike and Max where ready and waiting for the girls to be ready to go.
"Jenna, frankie come on we're going to be late." Max called from the bottom of the stairs.
"Quit your moaning we're ready." Frankie grumbled at him. Max raised his eyebrows at her.
"Ready? Well where's JENNA!" Max said eye balling her.
"MAX! SHOUT MY NAME ONE MORE TIME." Jenna's voice of warning came from up the stairs as she could be heard hopping around sorting her shoes. Then appearing moments later coming down the stair fixing herself.
"Are we ready now?" Mike dared to ask looking over to the girls cautiously.
"I just need to get my purse from the car." Jenna said fiddling for her keys.
"Oh Jen hurry up." Max whined.
"I'd have been ready ages ago if it wasn't for frankie taking forever doing her hair." Jenna shot back. Frankie just held her hands up in defence as Max frowned at her. Jenna ran the best she could in her heels and dress to the car as the others waited for her by Mike's car as he would be driving them.
"Right are we good now?" Max asked impatiently.
"We good." Jenna said with a nod.
When they got to the restaurant everyone was already there the good cahrlotte guys, the circus team and a few other guys that she didn't know but some felt like they was familiar.
"Hey birthday boy." Jenna smiled walking over to billy directly giving him a hig and a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey was worried you wasn't going to make it." He smiled. She noticed a look of relief on Benji's face but tried to ignore it.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Here I have something for you." She looked in her bag for a card and gift voucher for her favourite store.
"Oh Jenna you didn't need to." Billy smiled as he opened it."Oh wow thanks."
"Still your favourite?" Jenna asked with a smile.
"Of course." Billy smiled giving her a quick hug again. The waitresses came over to take food and drink orders so Billy went back to his seat and Jenna looked round for where there was to sit. There was an empty seat next to Max that just so happened to be directly opiate Benji. Jenna sighs and rolled her eyes to herself 'typical'. She didn't realised Benji had noticed her reaction and had a little laugh to himself at how expressive she was without even meaning to be, one of the things he loved about her.
"Before you say anything this wasn't planned." Max said in defence as she sat down. She just looked at him and smiled shaking her head
They ordered food and all chatted between themselves. Jenna was mostly chatting with Paul beside her, seraya and Erin.
"Can you believe Jackie and Dean have managed to keep it quite for so long." Erin said.
"What? Keep what quiet?" Jenna asked confused.
"Oh my god did you not know?" Seraya asked shocked.
"Know what?" Jenna said still confused looking over in the direction ofwhere Jackie and Dean sat.
"They're together." Erin said.
"What!" Jenna said a little louder than she meant too. Causing the table to look at her and Erin, seraya and Paul to laugh. Jenna mouthed a sorry to everyone to get them to go back to what they was doing then turned back to seraya, Erin and Paul.
"What the hell." She laughed. "I did think it was slightly odd when I seen him sat over there with her but bloody hell, how longs that been going on and how do I not know?" Jenna asked them quietly.
"I think it's been since near the end of the festival." Erin said looking to Paula and seraya to see if they knew more.
"Yeh about that." Paul confirmed.
"they ended up telling everyone because Brad seen them out on a date one night when you was away at nationals." Seraya explained.
"Well I am shocked, happy for them but surprised." Jenna laughed. "I feel all out of the loop now. What else have I missed?" Jenna asked.
"Erm nothing much really just finalising wedding plans." Erin said getting that hint in there.
"Oh bloody hell not long now is it?" Jenna said realising so much time had past in the nationals prep.
"Less than a month." Erin grinned.
"Ooo exciting." Jenna smiled at how happy her friend was.
"Even more exciting if we can fit your final dress fitting in." Erin said as they'd put it on hold with the nationals.
"Name the date and I'll be there I'm all yours now." Jenna smiled.
"Oh now then whats exactly going on here with my wife to be?" AJ said catching the end of that conversation as he was walking past to his seat.
"Wouldn't you like to know." Erin winked. AJ raised his eyebrows.
"Ay I am not getting caught up in what ever this domestic seems to be here." Jenna laughed. Food then arrived and everyone made small talk as they ate. Jenna's eye had caught Benji's on her a few times as she either looked up or around the table in conversation. After the main course a few people got up to go to the bathroom or the bar etc. Jenna got up for a cigarette.
"Going to kill off your lungs a little.more." Max said in jest but deep down meant it that he wanted her to quit.
"They're my lungs max-i if I want to kill them off I will." She called back to him as she walked away lifting her hand to flip him off knowing he would have had some sort of come back to her.
As Jenna stepped out the door of the resultant she lit up a cigarette as she looked up Benji was just a bit further up sat on the wall phone in hand. She walked slowly over and sat a little further down from him close enough to be with him but far enough as she was smoking. As she sat Benji looked at her unsure of what to do or say if anything.
"Hey." She said slowly turning to look at him.
"Hi." He smiled a little. He looked genuinely happy to see her but nervous too.
"How are you?" Benji asked sheepishly.
"I'm good, thanks. You?" Jenna replied relaxed.
"Yeh I'm alright thanks." Benji smiled still a little shocked to the conversation but still happy. Jenna nodded and smiled.
"I never got chance to congratulate you on the nationals, so well done." He smiled
"Thank you." Jenna looked towards him and smiled. "So if your not choosing to 'kill off your lungs' what are you doing out here?" Jenna asked.
"Oh I just got off the phone with my mom.." Benji trailed off.
"Aw how is she? Is everything OK?" Jenna asked genuinely concerned.
"Yeh, yeh everything's fine, she's good. She's coming over to visit next week." Benji smiled.
"Aw that'll be nice for you all." Jenna smiled she always did like Benji and Joel's mom. Benji smiled and nodded they was quiet for a minute.
"She asked about you. Last time we spoke was when we was a the festival and she was really happy we'd met back up and was excited to hopefully see you again." Benji said careful how to choose his words as the last time he had spoke to his mom about Jenna was when Jenna and himself was on much better terms.
"Aw if I'm free I'd love to come say hi." Jenna smiled her sweet genuine nice personality that filled Benji's heart with love for her.
"Really?" Benji asked happily as he knew how happy it would make his mom.
"Yeh sure let me know when she arrives and I'll juggle some things around." Jenna smiled. The conversation was flowing freely now almost as if none of the bad bits had happened between them.
"Jenna where the are you?!" Franiies voice called from the door of the restaurant. Jenna looked round.
"Here, what's up?" Jenna got up walking towards the restaurant and frankie.
"Deserts ready... oh." Frankie said then looked confused but smirked to see she had been with Benji. Jenna gave her a warning look as she walked in the restaurant and frankie and Benji followed.
They all sat and ate desert and chatted as they had done before. After desert they all stayed having a drink.
Jenna went and knelt down between Jackie and Dean.
"So erm is there something either of you two want to tell me?" Jenna said coyly.
"That's strong coming from the I don't want to talk about it lady." Jackie shot back the then gave an apologetic look. Jenna smirked and held her hands up in defence.
"Fair enough I deserved that." Jenna laughed.
"It wasn't reslly a secret it just never really felt like the right time to tell anyone." Dean added.
"It's ok, I'm happy for you both." Jenna smiled putting an arm around each of them in a half hug as she stood up and went back to her seat.
"Been speaking with Benji?" Max asked her hiding a smirked.
"A little." Jenna replied coyly.
"A little is a lot more than previously." Max smirked.
"It's no big deal." Jenna smiled rolling her eyes at him part serious part in jest.
"In other words drop it Max." Max nodded continuing part serious and part in jest.
"Got it in one." She winked at him and they laughed.
A little while later everyone started to get up to start saying good byes and leaving.
Jenna felt a hand on her arm and someone pull her to one side. As she looked round she definatly recognised him as Josh Benji and Joel's brother. She looked at him confused removing her arm from his grasp.
"Jenna right." Josh said.
"Yes." Jenna frownd at him.
"I just wanted a quick word you see um speaking with the guys since the festival and stuff. Well I just think you need to stop messing Benj around." Josh said.
"Excuse me?" Jenna asked a bit confused and a little shocked to where this came from and where it was going.
"Yeh well you know he's always had a bit of a soft spot for you but you know you've messed him around alot. Now I didn't say anything years ago you know we where all just kids back then but now it's still going on and I think you need to just stop fucking around with him and stringing him along if your not interested." Josh continued Jenna didn't like his tone.
"Look I think you've misunderstood..." Jenna started.
"No I get it so just stop leading him on and leave him alone." Josh said bluntly and walked off.
Jenna walked slowly back over to the others trying to get her head round what Josh had just said. Clearly he must have Rachel's version of things in his head.
"What was a that about?" Max asked quietly eyeing her as she walked back over.
"Um nothing." Jenna said clearly distracted but she didnt want to get into it there.
"Really, are you ok?" Max asked knowing it was something.
"Yeh, lets just get out of here." Jenna said as they tried to hurry through the bunch of people all chatting in saying their good byes.
"Billy happy birthday, thanks for inviting us hope you've had a lovely day." Jenna smiled giving Billy a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before they left.
"Aw it's been great, thank you for coming." Billy smiled. Max gave him a guy hug and followed Jenna out the restaurant with frankie in tow having shouted her good byes.
"Ay what was all thay about with thay guy?" Max asked Jenna once was they got to the quiet of the car park.
"Jenna." Benji called before Jenna could reply to Max.
"I've got to go Benji." Jenn said a bit flustered.
"No I need to talk to you, what ever Josh said he was probably out of line and I'm sorry for that." Benji said quickly desperate not to let her go.
"Benji apologies don't mean anything when the pattern stays the same!" Jenna expressed.
"Wait what have I missed?" Frankie turned to Max. Max just shook his head at her.
"Out of line? Just a little." Jenna said her bit of anger thay she felt coming through.
"Jenna please don't be mad." Benji pleaded. They had got on so well in their brief conversation earlier he really didn't want to have any set backs.
"Mad? Benji I'm not mad anymore, I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of all these merry go rounds and everyone jumping on as they please." Jenna expressed her frustration as everyone having a say or an opinion getting involed inbetween them.
"Jenna please just forget it all don't listen to them he had no right.." Benji started.
"No, no he didn't and neither did Rachel, Joel or well anyone else that you want to list off. I just I really don't know how this, how us can ever work if everyones constantly getting involed." Jenna said emotionally now.
"Max do something." Frankie said holding her heart in sympathy.
"Like what?" Max shrugged equally as concerned. Everyone from inside the restaurant has started making their way out and stopped looking on.
"Jenna please, I thought we was getting along so well before." Benji said clearly emotional.
"We was but that's it isn't it. We do get along well, we always have." Jenna spoke fondly. "But maybe that's why it worked so well last time because no one knew, no one got involed." Jenna said quietly emotion filled her voice.
"We still can." Benji said reaching forwards taking her hands in effort to make her see. She looked him over for a minute. Then closed her eyes before tears fell.
"Good night Benji." Jenna said opening her eyes turning quickly and walking away as Benji had no option to let her go. Max and frankie followed her to the car and left.

The next day Jenna was very quiet Max and frankie left her to it. After lunch when they was on their way back out to the yard a car pulled up. Out got Benji, Jenna pretend she didn't see and carried on walking. Max grabbed her hand gently to stop her.
"Jenna can we talk?" Benji asked.
"I'm busy." Jenna said plainly and tried to walk off. Max stopped her again holding her shoulders and turning her back to face Benji.
"Shes not busy." Max said trying to give Benji a helping hand to get Jenna to speak to him Jenna glarred at Max who just smiled at her as in please don't be mad. "I can sort the yard, go inside." Max said. Jenna gave Max a final glare then walked into the house without even looking at Benji. Benji just followed her sheepishly. He followed her into the kitchen where she flipped on the kettle.
"Drink?" Jenna asked.
"Coffee please." Benji almost asked.
Jenna got the cups ready and made the drinks both of them in silence Benji just watched her. Once the drinks was ready she placed them both on the table and sat down with Benji's cup opposite hers. Benji took the hint and sat down. He didn't speak at first they was both sat in silence for a while.
"Benji if your not going to talk then I might as well go do the yard." Jenna sighed.
"I'm sorry I just I don't know where to start. Let me start with appolgising for Josh he was totally out of line. He shouldn't have said what he did and its definatly never came from me. I really enjoyed speaking with you earlier on in the night just like how things used to be. Please don't let Josh's actions set us back again. I love you so much and I know I've made some mistakes, mistakes that have hurt you but I just.. its killing me us being like this." Benji paused.
"I don't like all this any more than you do but it just seems like everything, everyone one is against us. Which is probably why when we was younger it worked so well as no one knew about us. Not that I have any idea why what either of us do should concern anyone else nor our relationship but for some reason it's does. It complicates things massively and I just don't think I can do it. A relationship shouldn't be that hard." Jenna said.
"Jenna.." Benji pleaded
"I best be getting back too the yard. Let me know when your mums here and we'll meet up.. for you mom." Jenna said standing to leave.
As Benji walked other his car Max caught up with him.
"How'd it go?" Max asked being careful not to be seen.
"Shes still quite cold towards me." Benji said sadly
"I know but you've got to understand she's built up those walls massively. Shes been through so much since Karl. he's left some major scars for her to deal with even more so now that she started to let them down for you and then she felt she couldn't trust you. You've just got to keep working on it. You've got to prove to her you love her and that your there for her. Let her know she's safe with you and that she can trust you. You have to give her time and be there for her. She doesn't want to rush to let you in again untill she's sure she can trust you not to hurt her again. She puts on this tough cold act to keep youbat arms length to stop herself from falling. She has to feel safe thats the most important thing for her" Max said knowingly Benji nodded he knew and understood all what Max said but it didn't make it any easier. Max gave him a reassuring pat on the back then jogged back over to the yard as Benji left.

That evening Max and Frankie was up late having a drink. Jenna and Mike had already gone to bed.
"Max.." frankie started.
"Frankie." Max replied.
"How is Jenna really, is she coping ok? I don't feel I get her as much at the moment but I know you have a good understanding with her. You literally seem to know what she's thinking when and everything." Frankie asked genuinely concerned about her friend.
"Yeh I think so. She's obviously got her struggles. She always will mentally, Karl has scarred her for life but I do think she can work through it. She's just got her toughened defense and coping mechanisms thourghly in place." Max said in thought about Jenna.
"You get her so well and I can tell how much she trusts you and you help her so much. I'm so glad she has you and all you do for her." Frankie smiled.
"Aw now thats a bit sentimental sis." Max laughed.
"No its true your such a great friend to her I worry where she would be now without you. Thats why when there was a possibility there was more between you both I actually really liked the idea." Frankie said eyeing him closely.
"Well there's not we work far better as we are than we would in a relationship." Max said.
"Do you really fully belive that?" Frankie asked causing Max to pause. "Tell me I'm crossing a line if you want I don't want you to feel I'm pushing you into thinking or feeling things you don't but is there really nothing between you not in the past or the future."
"Defintly nothing more in the past than what you already know." Max said.
"But..." frankie looked curiously.
"But nothing. We're close friends and thats it. We are far better as we are than risking loosing any of that in a relationship." Max said.
"Funny though you haven't once said you wouldn't want or consider a relationship. It's not like you Max to air on the side of caution." Frankie said keen to dig a bit deeper.
"OK well I'm not saying never but..." Max started frankie looked like she had won the lottery.
"But and it's a big but its just not the right time now. She needs to figure out where she's at with Benji. Her heads all over the place as he's opened up emiontsinal wounds Karl had caused it wouldn't be fair to either of us to thinking like that and I am truly happy and comfortable as we are and as we always have been but you never know what the future might hold. Now is certainly not the right time" Max said. He knew just as much as everyone else and probably Jenna that their relationship has blurred lines anyway. Frankie nodded.
"I get you, you know what's best but what about Lexi?"Frankie asked.
"Me and lexi splitting up had absolutely nothing to do with Jenna. We had both just grew apart." Max answered truthfully.
"Personally looking at things black and white I think there would be no one better for Jenna than you. You understand her, she trusts you. Your both virtually in a better relationship than most marriages just being the friends you are." Frankie said.
"Well you know not everything's black and white all the time is it." Max said. "Now can we lay this subject to rest now"
"OK but just one last thing I really dont want you to be putting yourself and your feelings to one side you have the right to pursue your happiness too." Frankie said she couldn't stand the thought if Max was actually holding back on his happiness just to see if Benji was the one or not.
"I can assure you my darling sister you do not need to worry about me and my happiness. Nothing makes me happier than shoveling your horses shit and putting up with your shit all day long." Max laughed.