FicWad

Lulu didn't know if she'd be welcomed or turned away when she followed Cid when he left the bridge after Yuna's silent thanks. She could see that he was upset, even if everyone else was more focused on Yuna, or Sin, or Tidus and his father, and if there was anything she could do to help she was willing to try.

And, she could admit, more than that she wanted to be able to greet him, something she hadn't been able to do with the others surrounding them and Sin so close by that they could have practically leapt onto it (him, she reminded herself, Sir Jecht) from the ship if they'd wanted to. There would have been too many questions to answer if she'd run straight to him, and there were much more important things that they needed to concentrate on.

She didn't hesitate this time as she walked through the corridors of the ship until she reached the top of the stairs and saw Yuna, Tidus, and Kimahri speaking, but she only stopped for a moment before quickly climbing the last few steps, sliding the card Cid had given her the first time they'd met through the lock on the side of the door, and slipping in. She thought that Kimahri might have spotted her, but she knew that he wouldn't mention it to anyone else.

She knocked out the door and called out "Cid?" feeling a little strange as she did so. They'd started so many conversations that way, but this time it wouldn't just be a faceless voice she was talking to. This time, as soon as his door opened, they would be face to face.

"Come on in," he said as the door swung open. She found herself feeling oddly shy as she stepped through and took the same spot on his couch that she'd sat on the first time she'd been there. It had been so easy to talk to him when he was just a voice, but when she looked at him she saw a person she barely knew instead of the man she'd come to consider her friend. But she felt a little easier when she looked up at him and could tell from his body language that he was feeling the same awkwardness.

"...We should be celebrating," she said before the silence could press on them too much.

"You're right about that," he said, grabbing the bottle and glasses from the bar and filling one for each of them just like before. This time Lulu didn't stop to think about it before clicking her glass against his in a wordless toast and taking a sip. "Nobody ever told me she looked so much like her ma," he said after swallowing, studying the liquor in his glass.

"Does she? I would have, if I'd known, but I've only ever seen Yuna's mother in the farplane, and I was... distracted at the time." She remembered the first time she'd seen Tidus, the dearly loved face under the different coloring and hairstyle, and sighed. "I know how much it hurts when you see someone who looks like someone you've lost."

"Hm, do ya now?" he asked, taking another swig from his glass.

"Very much so. In fact, I experience it every day now."

He set back, and she thought that he might be glad to be able to latch onto this other topic of conversation instead of his own personal pain. "Which've them is it?"

"Tidus. Wakka, sometimes, when the light is dim. But don't tell him that, please. I know he wouldn't want to think he was making me upset."

He gave her a look like she'd said something strange. "Ya know those two don't look a thing alike, don'tcha?"

"I'm not blind, Cid. But, put together, they look like the man I was going to marry."

His eyes suddenly went guarded, though she couldn't say why. "You were engaged?"

"We would have been, if he had returned from fighting with the Crusaders." Not that long before speaking like this would have made her feel like a Sinspawn had torn through her torso, spilling her innards for all to see, but she was surprised now to find that it had abated to a dull pain in her chest, one much easier to speak around. Had it really been that long since his death?

As if he could hear her thoughts, Cid said, "Couldn't have been that long ago, huh? I mean, you're still young. That long ago an' ya wouldn't've been plannin' on marryin' him."

"It was a year before we started Yuna's pilgrimage. Closer to two now. Long enough for it to be easier, now. And... I knew almost all of my life that I would marry him one day." She smiled sadly, thinking back on those lost days.

"Well... sorry to hear that," he said.

"Thank you. But it's all right. I'm hardly the first person to lose someone to Sin, and, no matter how quickly we find a way to finish all of this, I'm sure that I won't be the last." The silence really was uncomfortable after that. Wonderful job of celebrating, Lulu she thought, and suddenly found herself laughing, the sound strange to her own ears. "This is ridiculous," she said.

"What is?" he asked, looking at her like he suspected she might've cracked right before his eyes.

"I know you, Cid," she said, leaning forward to catch his eyes with her own serious ones. Ones of her braids slipped from her shoulder as she moved, swinging out and brushing across his leg then settling there when it swung back again, but neither of them moved to brush it away. "Not as well as I know Yuna or Wakka, of course, but I do know you. And you know me. And yet, just because we're unused to speaking with one and other in person, we're being almost as awkward as if we were strangers. That is ridiculous."

Now he laughed to, and rubbed one of his knees. "I reckon you're right. It is pretty dumb. But we've got plenty of time to get past that, huh?"

She smiled slightly, and bent her head. "All that we need, once Sin is gone. Speaking of which, we should return to the bridge before Tidus and Yuna finish speaking with each other. I'm sure that they'll be wanting to make plans soon."

He pushed himself to his feet and gestured to the door. "All righty then, after you."