Categories > Original > Drama

Irregular Show

by christmastrees 0 reviews

Irregular Show, based on J. G. Quintel's Regular Show. With the introduction of a new main character to the cast, Eve, the world is more grounded.

Category: Drama - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Horror,Humor,Romance - Warnings: [!!!] [V] [?] - Published: 2023-10-15 - Updated: 2023-10-23 - 3716 words





"alright, beef burrito. i'm gonna give you one more chance to take back what you said about my mom!"

rigby called out these words as he stood atop the filing cabinet in their room and pointed threateningly at a beef burrito doll laid out on the floor. "i'll kill you!" he snarled back in response to words that weren't actually said, before patting at his elbow to make sure an imaginary elbow pad was secure and then throwing himself down onto his trampoline.

he body-slammed the doll as he landed, elbowed it a couple of times, and then body-slammed it twice more! he lifted the doll up alongside himself, tightly holding it by the neck, before moving it to make him punch at him in the snout as though it were trying to escape. one punch, and then another! rigby groaned, pretending to be dazed by the "attack".

behind him, crouched on the bed, rigby could hear mordecai shout "tag up! tag up!" and looked back to see mordecai holding a hand out for him. pretending to be weakened, rigby wobbled over to him and high-fived him, officially tagging mordecai into the death match against beef burrito.

mordecai hopped up from his spot and immediately got into the action, dragging beef burrito into position as rigby chugged a soda. after finishing the soda (and managing to get it all over himself and the floor in the process), rigby let out a ferocious cry as he flexed his muscles.

the two of them moved over to the filing cabinet with the trampoline leaned up against it, mordecai climbing up on top of the filing cabinet. still on the ground, rigby stared down the doll. "what!?" rigby cried out, once again pretending it said something. the doll didn't respond, like always, but rigby continued regardless. "ooh, you want us to put the hurt on you?" he shot back.

mordecai easily lifted rigby up and stood up on the filing cabinet as rigby curled his body into a ball.

"i think he wants me to put the hurt on him." rigby insisted, looking up at mordecai.

"i think he wants you to put the hurt on him." mordecai agreed, his eyebrows furrowed.

"you think he wants me to put the hurt on him?!" rigby cried out.

"yes, i do!" mordecai answered, his expression only growing more and more intense - and with that, both of them let out some mighty screams and mordecai threw rigby down onto the trampoline as hard as he could, resulting in the raccoon being launched through the air in beef burrito's direction!

...though, apparently the trampoline wasn't aligned well enough with the doll, because rigby not only missed beef burrito, but instead was flung directly into the wall.

his back smashed into the wall, he could hear and even feel the way the drywall cracked in the brief moment before he fell head-first into the trash can underneath. he was pretty disorientated, so for another moment he laid there groaning inside the trash can, which had fallen over onto its side with some empty soda cans spilling out.

still groaning out in pain, rigby stood up, shucking the trash can off. more cans spilled out onto the floor, but it's not like he really cared. "yeah-yuh!! did you see how awesome it was when i hit the trampoline?" rigby asked excitedly as he walked up to his best friend.

mordecai approached rigby himself, laughing as he did. throwing his arm up in the air, mordecai replied in a silly voice. "yeeeah, i did!" he said, before returning to his usual speaking voice to continue. "but it wasn't as awesome as when you punched that hole in the wall."

the two of them both started laughing about it, before it hit them… and they both looked at it in silence. the hole was massive, and just as they turned to look, another chunk of the wall collapsed and fell onto the floor, where there was already quite the pile. so, as expected, the two of them instantly screamed in horror.

rigby, without even thinking about it, instantly dashed to the door and cracked it open, looking out in the hallway to see if anyone was out there. and there was someone out there, already on his way towards mordecai and rigby's room - eve.

rigby sighed with relief. "oh thank god, it's just you." rigby muttered, to himself more than to eve. out of all the people it could've been, eve was probably the best option. but regardless, rigby began to shut the door, before eve quickly dashed over and held the door open. "h-hey, wait a minute, c'mon, you can't just close the door on me after that! i promise that, no matter what happened, i won't get mad.​ you can trust me." eve pleaded, concern clear on his face.

rigby hesitated. he knew eve wasn't lying - he never seemed to really get mad at the two of them, and well, he was probably only worried about them, right? so rigby choose to relent, letting go of the door knob. he ushered eve in with an overplayed sigh, and needlessly grouchily walked back into he and mordecai's bedroom. eve slipped in quickly, closing and locking the door behind himself.

"o-oh! uh, hey there, eve." mordecai greeted him, awkwardly. maybe it was the fact they had put a hole in the wall a minute before now, or mordecai's annoying crush on the annoyingly attractive and younger coworker, or even a mix of both that bugged rigby. it didn't really matter right now either way, but thinking about it still irritated rigby even if it wasn't exactly eve's fault and he knew it. rigby totally wasn't jealous at all, no.

"hi, i, um..." eve answered back, his eyes glued to the hole in the wall. eve sighed, the corners of his mouth twitching like he was about to really frown, but he didn't. he closed his eyes, took a deep breath with his hands balled into tight fists, and then opened his eyes again while unfurling his fists and took a serious look at mordecai and rigby.

without uttering a single word, the disappointment was evident just from the way he looked at them. his pupils were still dilated like they always seemed to be when he was in a better mood, but he nervously fiddled with his hands and was frowning as he looked up at them with his head down.

it actually felt worse than being yelled at by benson would’ve, somehow.

mordecai was the first one out of the two of them to speak up after the look. "i can't believe i listened to rigby... i knew i should've gone out to do some work, but no, let's wrestle this stupid doll, it'll be fun!" he complained, looking back and forth between rigby, eve, and the hole in the wall as he gestured wildly.

rigby, meanwhile, looked only at mordecai as he whined out a response. "but it was fun." he said, trying to not sound too defensive even when he was fairly sure mordecai was shifting blame onto him.

mordecai glanced at rigby. "well, yeah, but now there's a big hole in the wall! dude, we're 23 years old, we shouldn't be busting holes in walls, especially not when we had our coworker waiting on us to stop messing around!" mordecai shouted back at rigby, pointing in the direction of eve. "our younger coworker, at that, and- and we're gonna get fired for this!" mordecai continued, letting out a loud groan as he finished his sentence.

rigby growled a little, fighting back the urge to say something about mordecai's strange fixation on eve here (while also ignoring his very own fixation on that), instead choosing to push back against mordecai's words. "you mean you're gonna get fired for this." he said, pointing a finger at mordecai.

"what?" mordecai questioned, eyes widening, and right before rigby was about to totally explain how this was all actually mordecai's fault, eve stepped both into the conversation and literally in between them.

"stop! like mordecai just said, you're both 23. way too old to be acting like this, and really, you're both to blame for this hole being in the wall. the most we can do now is try to fix this because it's not gonna fix itself." eve said, speaking level-headedly. he sounded far more mature than mordecai and rigby did in that moment, though that was pretty typical at this point.

mordecai and rigby stood there, briefly stunned by eve's blunt response to their antics. rigby snapped out of it first, immediately growing defensive. "okay, oka-a-ay! let's not blame anyone! now, how in the "h" are we gonna fix this "s"?" he replied to eve in a sheepish voice, once again pushing back on the idea that he was in any way at fault... even if it meant saying mordecai totally didn't have any part in it too, which he absolutely did.

mordecai's eyes shifted back to rigby. "i don't know, man," he began, shaking his head and capping off his sentence with a scoff. "i don't think any of us know how to fix it, and we definitely can't pay someone else to, 'cause we don't have any money!" mordecai explained, looking at the other two in the room as he gestured towards the hole. "... unless one of you has some money?" mordecai asked, holding his hand out towards rigby and eve.

rigby answered first. "... no. besides, i don't even know how much it would cost to fix a hole like this." he answered, his eyes flickering away, looking at nothing in particular.

eve allowed himself to sigh before he spoke up. "nope, i don't either. i'm trying to save up some money right now, and i'm pretty sure what i've got right now wouldn't be enough for repairs anyway." eve answers anxiously, tilting his head down and nervously looking at mordecai. rigby had turned his head to look at eve as he spoke, and he couldn't help but flick his tail a little at the sight. it felt like eve was trying to appeal to mordecai on purpose, which totally didn't make rigby feel antsy at all.

mordecai seemed to already have a solution in mind. "exactly. this leaves us with only one possible solution: we convince benson to give us raises so we can afford to pay someone else to fix it." he said suddenly, even giving his voice a funny little tone to it, like he had come up with the most brilliant idea ever.

and well, rigby at least was impressed! he kicked his leg at the floor and placed his hands on his hips, a satisfied grin on his face. "dude!... you are a genius! of course raises!" he replied excitedly to mordecai. it was pleasing, 'cause rigby probably wouldn't have come up with that idea by himself.

"wait, wait, i'm not sure if that'll work." eve butted in, causing rigby to frown and mordecai to make more of a confused expression.

"why do you say that, uh... dude?" mordecai answered as he cracked a nervous grin, rubbing the back of his head with one hand and shrugging with the other. rigby cringed, mordecai's failed attempt to seem casual with his oh-so obvious crush always managed to get under his skin, but more importantly, he had no idea why eve was opposed to the awesome idea mordecai had suggested.

"i mean, um..." eve nervously glanced at the floor. "... i don't think benson would give us raises." he admitted after a bit of hesitation, looking up at mordecai as he says it, as though he's looking for approval. rigby instantly wanted to argue with him on that, but mordecai noticed and stepped in first.

"what do you mean? i'm sure if we just asked nicely he would. i know we're not the best of workers, but c'mon, we're definitely not as bad as we could be!" mordecai explained, putting into words what rigby wanted to say far better than he could've himself.

of course, he still felt the need to add something. he shot his arms up into the air and scowled. "yeah! what he said!" he exclaimed, and mordecai awkwardly kind of patted at him, assuring him that was fine. it was appreciated silently.

eve paused for a moment to consider it. "yeah, that's probably true." he acquiesced, much to rigby and mordecai's relief.

mordecai placed himself properly in front of the two of them, and gestured with his arms. "okay, here's the plan-"

only to be cut off by rigby, who had to insert himself in once more. "let me stop you there, because i already know what you're going to say... HAAAAMBONING."

mordecai and eve simultaneously replied with a confused "what?", though with wildly different tones to their voices. not like it mattered much, clearly rigby had some convincing to do. "yeah, dude, hamboning! we just go up to benson and we'll be all like we all want raises!" he said as he began the act: tapping all over his body rhythmically to produce sound. as he did this, he approached mordecai, and even began to hambone on him, too.

mordecai pushed rigby away with a "no, man! stop it!" to which eve flashed rigby a quick apologetic look. "we just need to ask him for a raise and just explain all the-" but before mordecai can finish his sentence, rigby once again butts in with his own genius ideas about what they should do.

"no, no, NO, that's not gonna work! what are you, 65?" rigby placed his hand on his back and quivered to imitate an old man to drive his point home as he even began to do a mocking voice. "excuse me, sir, can I have a raise? C'MON! i'm telling you, dude. HAAAMBONIIIING." he even makes sure to wildly gesture and everything, gotta pull out all the works to ensure the point is understood loud and clear!

still, neither of them quite seemed to get it, based on their reactions. eve sheepishly giggled while mordecai crossed his arms and gave a slightly drawn-out response of "nooooo." to show his disapproval.

"yeah, i have to agree with mordecai here, i'm not exactly sure that would be the best approach." eve states his disagreement in a more mild-mannered fashion than mordecai did as he smiled a little sadly, since he had found rigby’s idea entertaining regardless.

rigby pouted and his mood instantly deflated a little. "fine." he answered in return, more because he couldn't really win an argument against two people. he cheered up quickly though, as rigby managed to recall something pretty helpful right then and there! he gasped and instantly shot back up mood-wise. "i know what to do!" he declared as he went to rummage around in the pile of dirty clothes he had lying in the corner, pulling out a red keyboard.

"are you ready for rai-ses? boop-bweeep-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boooo!"

eve immediately squealed like a teenage girl and ran up to rigby, crouching down to get a better look. "woooah! i never thought i'd see one of these in person! where did you.. find this?" he asked all excitedly, though a small bit of suspicion bleeds into his question.

"i have my methods." rigby declared smugly, as he recalled the moment he had stolen this keyboard from some wizard guy taking a leak and chuckled to himself.

once he was back in the present moment, he found eve and mordecai were simply staring at the keyboard, still in awe. rigby's declaration had been more than enough to convince them he had gotten it fair and square, and well, in his book, he definitely had. if this wizard had truly cherished this keyboard, he should've done a better job guardin' it.

mordecai did have one important question though. "i don't know, dude... how's that gonna get us raises?"

eve clasped his hands together. "this may look like a normal keyboard, but it's actually a magic one!" he answered quickly, gently taking the keyboard and setting it down on the floor carefully. he ​played a couple of notes, it making a bunch of cool noises definitely not typical of a normal keyboard. "it can actually warp reality if you use it right, so we've gotta be careful with it." he advised when he looked at mordecai and rigby, who had gotten down beside him to watch him use it.

"huh... i thought it was a normal keyboard, to be real. had no idea it was actually magical." rigby said with a shrug of his shoulders. "woaaaaah-ho-ho-ho-ho! this is the answer to all our problems." mordecai said as he gestured his hand over the keyboard like it was the holy grail. then, something seemed to click in mordecai's mind, and he looked at eve. "... how exactly did you know all that just by looking at it, dude?" he asks, quirking a brow.

"wikipedia!" eve answered with a pleased expression, smiling at mordecai and then at the keyboard. it was kind of insane the extent of information wikipedia seemed to have.

mordecai awkwardly kind of laughed. "man, what, do you just spend hours reading random wikipedia articles all the time or something?" he posed, more as a joke then as a serious question. to their surprise, eve just nodded nonchalantly, but he seemed preoccupied with an idea rather than the conversation at hand.

eve pressed a button on the keyboard, making it play out of the default beats. "c'mon now, fix this hole in the wall~ none of us have the money to fix iiit~ please, fix the hole in the wall~!" he sang along, and with the power of magic, the pieces of the wall rose up and went back into place and the cracks sealed, making the wall return to normal!

mordecai and rigby gawked in response, knowing full well eve meant it when he said the keyboard could "warp reality" because he isn't one to lie about something like this, but actually seeing it in action was to-tatlly different and kind of insane, actually.

rigby shook out of it first, and instantly he placed his grubby little hands onto the keyboard, excited to test it out himself. "oooh yeah, baby, let's see what this can do!" he exclaimed, and mordecai fist-pumped alongside him. "yeah-yuh!" he said in that silly little voice he always did. the fun didn't last long though, as eve snatched it up from him. "guys, this thing is dangerous! i only used it to fix the hole in the wall because it was pretty much the only option, but something like this... should definitely be in responsible hands. like skips's." he explained, pouting a little at just how willing his friends were to use something they barely understood.

rigby groaned. "hey, we're responsible enough to use it! tell 'im, mordecai!" rigby said, nudging his best friend with his arm, but mordecai didn't give him the reaction he wanted. "i think he's right, dude. what if we misuse it and something really bad happens? then we'd have to deal with that and i think the hole in the wall is the only thing i wanna deal with today, dude." mordecai said with a sigh, looking disappointed even if he did ultimately agree with eve on things.

once again, rigby found himself in a two against one situation, and it really bugged him of course, but he relented again. "fine. fine, dude. if you just wanna give up the totally awesome magic keyboard, then fine. let's go give it to skips." he groaned obnoxiously at the end of his sentence and already began to head for the room's door to leave.

he did give the fixed hole a quick once-over though, he couldn't just ignore the keyboard's awesome work even if he was feeling a bit peeved in the moment.

mordecai and eve followed behind him, eve tucking the keyboard underneath his arm like you would a book. eve smiled. "thanks guys, i think this will be for the best." he said, and rigby's ear twitched as he heard eve's genuine relief, and suddenly he did feel a little bad for how bitchy he'd been about it.

"no problem, man. i mean, you're the one with the smart ideas usually anyway. you keep us from doing stupid stuff all the time." mordecai replied as the three of them walked, heading to skips's garage together.

"i don't want benson to get mad at us is all." eve says with a chuckle, but an apologetic look falls onto his features. "i hope i don't ruin the mood too much."

rigby scoffed a little. "of course you don't, dude, don't worry about it. i know i can act like a dick about it from time to time, hell, even just now, but well, i get you're just trying to look out for us." he said, trying to reassure him suddenly to get rid of the feelings of guilt he felt in the moment, and for all the other moments.

"yeah, exactly! if you were ruining the mood, you'd like, definitely know anyway! rigby's way too transparent about that kind of thing and you'd be able to tell based on how i was acting too, so i promise you haven't ruined the mood at all." mordecai reassured eve himself as the three of them finally managed to step outside.

eve happily trotted down the stairs, turning back to look at mordecai and rigby who were still at the top approaching the stairs. "thanks so much, guys!" he said with a giggle, shooting the two of them a peace sign. it was so cutesy it made rigby want to barf.

eve waited for the two of them to get down the stairs before continuing, and the two of them followed along like before and returned to his sides. "after we get this done, we can finally get back to work." he said cheerfully, as he looked up at the sky above them.

it was a bright, sunny day today. the perfect kind of weather to work in, in eve's opinion anyway.
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