FicWad

-Guy from Water Source-

The voice of the first Tok'ra could be heard throughout the prison. The Tok'ra certainly have powerful voices. I assume Pary must be the host of the second Tok'ra.

Lantash. That's what people say the first Tok'ra introduced himself as to the second Tok'ra. The name is familiar. He and I have been here the longest, but I've never actually spoken to him.

People are usually killed or taken by the guards, never to be seen again, after a couple months. So, most of the people here have never seen anyone other than Lantash in control, which does give a bit of a Goa'uld-like impression. Add his temper, strength (a few people learned he's stronger than he looks), the knowledge that he's centuries old, and the rumors that he randomly kills people for no apparent reason, and it's not a wonder that they fear him.

But I know the truth.

I was there when he first came, when Elliot had even more control than the symbiote. We spoke once. Nice young man.

I watched as they were taken by the guards nearly every morning, and returned at night after going through some sort of torture.

I'm glad I never had to go through that.

As months became years, Elliot was less and less himself. I don't mean that Lantash was in control more, I mean, the poor man was losing his mind. At first he'd briefly see things that weren't there. As that became worse and lasted longer, he'd cower in a corner, screaming at nonexistent images.

From what I saw, it seemed Lantash being in control made it worse on the host, probably because it was one more thing he lost control of. Hardly ever saw Lantash that year. I can't imagine what it must be like to share a mind with someone who's going insane, and desperately trying to help him.

It got to the point where Elliot became violent, and Lantash had to take control. It's been about a year since the host had any control. The last few times he was, he grabbed a knife and started charging at the nearest prisoner.

So the prisoners comment about how he's Tok'ra and should let the host have some control, having no idea that this Tok'ra's actions are protecting them from his own host.

Speaking to the host of another Tok'ra must be a huge reminder of what he's lost.

I hear footsteps and look up to see the second Tok'ra. "Pary or...?"

"Pary, yes."

I nod. "Couldn't help hearing your conversation...well, Lantash's part of it."

Pary looks rather hurt, and I wonder if he and Lantash were friends before this. "I hear the other prisoners whisper that the Tok'ra are no different than the Goa'uld, and that Lantash is proof of that."

Not sure how to respond to that. No Tok'ra should think that of another Tok'ra, especially when it's not true. On the other path, it's not for me to be telling him the reason. "They haven't been around long enough to know the truth, and it's not my place to be telling you. I would advice not mentioning Elliot."

Pary nods, and then leaves. Don't care much where to. Another moment passes, and I am surprised to look up and see Lantash staring at me in a way that it would seem I wouldn't come out of this healthy. He does that a lot with everyone. I stand up and faced him. In another host, that look would probably be terrifying. It was rather intimidating as it was in this was, especially when the eyes glow.

After a moment he brakes off the stare and looked confused, as if he wondered why he was staring at me in the first place. Usually the end result of his stare down, which makes me wonder how much of him was the same since when he first arrived here. I can't imagine what being blended with someone insane would do to the mind.

He shakes his head, and heads back to his room.

It is turning to night, or rather, what we think of as night. There is no night or day in this place, so we made one up.

-Lantash-

Pary/Hovar returns and I see that Hovar is the one in control. He looks uncomfortable as he steps through. "People are returning to their rooms. I believe it is night."

"You assume correctly." I am sitting on the rags that I intend sleep on. "Tomorrow we will search for something you can sleep on."

He nods, sitting down, watching me, and I know he is thinking of what people are saying about me. I ignore his stare, and lay down on my "bed," waiting for sleep to grab me.

Sleep comes, and I am back under the pile of dead Jaffa. The smell is horrid, and Samantha passes by through the Chaapa'ai over and over again. I try to get her attention, and then suddenly I awake to the sound of screaming.

I don't particularly mind being woken up when I'm having that nightmare. It takes a moment to realize the screaming is coming from my own head...my host. He still has Elliot's "voice," but it's not Elliot.

I suppose technically it is Elliot, but that makes the whole situation that much more depressing, so I tell myself that Elliot died along time ago. It was actually he who wanted me to believe that when he realized what was happening to his mind. He also asked that I make sure he never hurts anyone, and I promised him I would.

Soon after that, my host was never Elliot again. I took complete control, and started blocking him out. It took a few months of practice, and sometimes he still gets through, like tonight.

I've considered just letting him have control, as that is what he wants, but I know what would happen. He'd attack the nearest prisoners, and keep attacking until he was mortally wounded. He would die, I would die, and I will have broken my last promise to Elliot.

I block him again, and look over at Pary/Hovar, who are asleep. Talking to Pary hurts. Hovar still has his host. I lost Martouf. Hovar's host is sane. Elliot is not. However, there is another reason I don't talk to Pary. If Zar decides to torture them, Pary's path may follow Elliot's. I don't want to make friends with someone I will probably just lose again. I've lost too much already.

I sigh, realizing that they should be warned of this. Morning. I'll tell them about Elliot in the morning. I nod slightly, and then return to sleep.

I return under that pile of Jaffa.

-Guy from Water Source-

It's been a few weeks since the second Tok'ra came. I was gathering water when Lantash approached. I expect him to be giving that stare again, but as I look up he has a rather blank expression.

"Lantash."

"Zar is planning something."

I get to my feet. "How do you know?"

"Pary and Hovar were the last to arrive. That is unusual in itself, but also since then, no one has been taken by the Jaffa."

I think over the last few weeks, and realize he is right.

"This may bring a chance to escape," Lantash continues. "Keep watch for such opportunity." He leaves.

I think over the words, and wonder if escape is possible. I've never been a fighter, and it seems escape would entail just that. I wouldn't have a place to go. My world was destroyed by the Goa'uld, and it's my fault.

The idea never leaves me that day, constantly thinking of ways to escape, where to go, and someone to go to. I go to sleep thinking about it.

I dream of escaping this place, going to my world, and finding it was as if never attacked. I return, and they treat me like a hero. The moment is spoiled because in a rarity, I actually know I'm dreaming. However, I decide to enjoy it while I can.

Suddenly I am interrupted by a sharp yell of pain. I shake off the fuzziness of sleep, and wonder the reason. It's not uncommon to hear screaming around here, but this one got to me, and I realize it was because it was the voice of Lantash.

To be continued...