FicWad

Kaylee giggled helplessly, and Jayne laughed as only the uproariously drunk can as the ceramic mug rolled off the table, spilling ale as it went, and crashed to the dirt floor. The ceramic was apparently made out of sturdy stuff, or the dirt was very soft, for it didn't break into the anticipated million pieces. The ale, however, soaked into her shirt as she lost her balance and leaned too heavily on the table.

"Oh, no!" she cried as she sat up, looking at the dark stain that covered her chest and splotched her sleeves.

"That ain't no way to treat good beer, girly," Jayne rebuked with comical seriousness. "Wastin' it like that..."

"How do you plan on fixin' it, then?" Kaylee giggled, leaning back so that her chest stuck out. Jayne leered, his eyes going a little wide, and then without a word he ducked his head and enveloped the tip of one of her ale-soaked breasts into his mouth, sucking hard.

Kaylee moaned and arched forcefully, encouraging the touch, her hands going to Jayne's head, clutching in his hair.

"Hey!" Wash shouted from the other end of the table. "Get a room!"

"You have a bunk for a /reason/, Jayne," Mal growled, then turned a slightly less-stern eye on his mechanic. "You too, Kaylee, an' either one of 'em work just fine."

Kaylee somehow managed to blush without looking either repentant or embarrassed and pulled Jayne up, though they were both reluctant to lose contact. "C'mon," she said breathlessly, standing and pulling him with her. They both stumbled toward the door, presumably headed for either the ship or the closest hotel. Mal just hoped they made it there without getting arrested for public indecency.

"Alchohol," Wash quipped, raising his mug. "The great match-maker of all time." He looked hopefully at Zoe and waggled his eyebrows, but the ship's first mate only crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm not that drunk, mister," she said shortly as she rose from the table. "Sir, I'm going to make sure those two make it somewhere indoors safely."

After she left, Wash and Mal were left with only each other and their beer. Before the pilot could say anything, Mal ground out, "And I sure as hell ain't that drunk."

Wash look startled, but recovered and flashed a winning smile. "Maybe next time," he shrugged.