Categories > Games > Pokemon > The Spirit of Alola - Book One - A Malignant Mind
Sashi.
The single word pressed into every crevice of his consciousness. It was both a heavy weighted and a light-as-a-feather word. It made him feel happiness and sadness. He didn't understand it, but this single word was keeping the rest of his existence from slipping away into the ever-present void in front of him.
Sashi.
It pressed again, harder, stronger, and with increasing certainty.
A flicker of thought flashed across his mind. Something pulled at him, drawing him away from the gaping abyss before him. He clung onto it desperately, deciding the existence of "nothing" was not as simple as it seemed, and the power the word presented to him would provide him more than the waiting emptiness.
He moved towards the tugging on his mind, pulling him in, like the ocean sucking on the sands of a beach, and felt himself as a whole begin to draw forward too. His legs felt the rush of wind. His face felt the touch of the sun. His nose smelled the ripening sweetness of fruits and the musty odor of dirt.
He was sitting outside on a patch of earth in a forest. His bare feet tucked underneath him, the grass tickling against his ankles where the hem of his pants ended. A small, warm, wet drop of water splashed gently onto his arm, then a second and a third. He felt another tear form on the corner of his eye, slip out, and trace yet another wet path across his face, landing on his pants.
"Kabir," the muffled voice of a young girl called. "Kabir, where are you?"
Though the girl sounded worried, he remained silent. He didn't want to be seen or found. He wanted to keep hiding in this singular warm patch on the grass, surrounded by only the noise of rustling trees.
The wind blew hard enough to mask all other sounds, keeping the calls of the other voices at bay, effectively hiding Kabir from the rest of the world. The noisy patter of searching footsteps was unheard to the blind child. He even worked on closing his powers off from the ever-present orbs that swam across his mind. He had hidden away in a world of sound and darkness.
Unfortunately, though, the child calling his name didn't solely rely on noise to make her way around in the world, and it wasn't long before he felt the small girl sit next to him. She had seated herself so close to his own that he could feel her natural body heat radiating off of her, warming his side.
He felt a pang of irritation at his quick discovery and refused to acknowledge her presence either physically or vocally. She didn't say a word, either, and for a moment, Kabir could imagine her company wasn't there, and he was still alone.
"Why are you hiding?" She whispered after a while, but he didn't respond. "Everyone is worried about you." She tried again.
"Really?" He said incredulously, rounding on her and hissing his anger. "Everyone? Worried about me? Why would anyone ever have any concern for me?" He spat the words at the girl. He felt her flinch at the venom in his voice, but instead of the usual recoil he would feel at upsetting someone, he felt a strange, almost excited desire to see just how far he could take his fury. The constant pain in his head was worsened by his tears and fueled his rage. He continued;
"What reason would anyone have to be worried about some blind loser? Who would ever even care about some freak like me?" He raged as the words of those who teased him fell from his mouth. "I'm just the stupid, useless kid who sits in the back of the class and acts like a weirdo. Who would be so dumb as to feel any worry for me? Tell me. Who?" He finished in a harsh whisper. The flash of emotion nearly choked out his last question. His fury swelled, and he knew there was more words he could say, but he wanted to see where his anger had put the conversation.
The warm body next to him shivered with suppressed tears of her own now. She sniffled nearby for a few moments before uttering words he never expected. "So I'm dumb?" She choked out so quietly he nearly missed it over the sound of the trees.
His mind halted. His anger stopped in its tracks. Even the cruel, imagined voice that egged him on went silent at the question. He was shocked to hear those three words slip out of the kind young girl's lips. "Wait…No— I…" He tried saying, but his voice, so strong a moment ago, now failed him.
"Is that what I am to you? A person who's dumb enough to care?" Her whisper grew stronger as she spoke until she could be heard clearly over the sound of the wind. "What about your father? Is he dumb too? Or my parents? And Anya or your sister, Athini? How about Doctor Gomez? Would you also like to call her dumb as well? Because that's who's looking for you. That's who's dumb enough to care about you to come out in this wind to hunt your sorry self down." She spat.
He could feel her struggling with her tears. Not the fake ones she used when she's tricking the bullies into leaving him alone. No, these tears were real. Her gasps of sadness and sniffles were genuine.
"I—I'm sorry," he stammered, all of his anger deflating like a balloon. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean what I said. I-I'm just upset." He said, trying to convince himself as well.
"Kabir, you can't say such mean things like that and expect an apology to make the words go away." She answered, returning to a whisper. "How do I even know that your sorry is real?" She questioned. They sat in silence while he thought of a response, but it was several long minutes before he could think of anything, and even then, the words felt empty and useless.
"I don't know." He finally managed with a sigh. "I'm just…." He paused, trying to find the right words this time, "I'm just sad, and tired, and scared, and angry, and…and confused. I don't know what to do." Finally, his thoughts started flowing again. "It's all my fault. I'm the one that the kids pick on because I'm so different. I'm the one the teachers struggle with the most because it's hard for me to keep up when I can't see what's going on. I—" He stumbled on the words, "I'm the one who scared mother away because of this stupid blindness. I've never even met my baby sister because mother took her when she left." He finished with only a slight flash of anger.
"The kids pick on you because they are frightened of your differences. That doesn't make you weird; that makes them Scaredy-Skitty's. That's not your fault." She stated with certainty. "The teachers are moving too fast for most of the kids in class. I know you can't see the grade board, but the ones who pick on you the most have lower test scores than you. As for your mother," She paused to give a snort of disgust, "Well, I think your mother is the real dumb person here. She's too self-centered to see just how great of a kid you are. She doesn't know how kind, nice, and smart you are. I think if anyone is blind, it's her." She declared with a triumphant chuckle.
"And your sister, Ila? Kabir, you know we'll never stop looking for her, right?" She said, placing her hand on his knee.
"What if we find her and she hates me too, though?" He whispered.
"Then she was never worth having in your life," The girl answered softly. "Besides, who could ever dislike a guy as cool as you," She said with a laugh, prodding him with her elbow in his side. "You'd be the best big brother a kid could ever ask for."
Kabir felt his heart rising from her warm words and laughed with her. It still hurt him, the thoughts that swirled in his head, but he also knew that she was right. People don't like it when others are different or even smarter than them.
He felt himself cheering up as she laughed beside him. Though she didn't have the same powerful words as her twin, she was caring and kind, always trying to help, even when her tongue failed. More often than not, her choice to remain silent would give his mind enough time to ponder, cry, or even laugh.
Her emotions were her strongest aspect. She was the type of person who could change the mood of an entire room simply by existing in it. You could be sitting in silence, crying, or angry about something, anything, and the minute she entered, happy and unaware of your circumstances yet, even if you didn't know she was there, your emotions would begin to flip to match her cheerfulness.
The girl next to him put her arm over his shoulder and gave him a squeeze, "Come on tough guy," she said teasingly, "Everyone really is worried about you, and we should get back to them before they call Officer Jenny to send out a search party." She joked, giving his arm a soft punch.
He felt the girl shift next to him and rise. A small hand reached out and grabbed his own carefully, helping to pull him to his feet. She gave a giggle as she marched him off towards the place he had run away from earlier, back to his father and his friends.
Released from the memory, Kabir's mind pondered and pulled at the word, chewing on its meaning and considering its purpose.
Sashi, the word tugged again. My wife. My best friend.
The single word pressed into every crevice of his consciousness. It was both a heavy weighted and a light-as-a-feather word. It made him feel happiness and sadness. He didn't understand it, but this single word was keeping the rest of his existence from slipping away into the ever-present void in front of him.
Sashi.
It pressed again, harder, stronger, and with increasing certainty.
A flicker of thought flashed across his mind. Something pulled at him, drawing him away from the gaping abyss before him. He clung onto it desperately, deciding the existence of "nothing" was not as simple as it seemed, and the power the word presented to him would provide him more than the waiting emptiness.
He moved towards the tugging on his mind, pulling him in, like the ocean sucking on the sands of a beach, and felt himself as a whole begin to draw forward too. His legs felt the rush of wind. His face felt the touch of the sun. His nose smelled the ripening sweetness of fruits and the musty odor of dirt.
He was sitting outside on a patch of earth in a forest. His bare feet tucked underneath him, the grass tickling against his ankles where the hem of his pants ended. A small, warm, wet drop of water splashed gently onto his arm, then a second and a third. He felt another tear form on the corner of his eye, slip out, and trace yet another wet path across his face, landing on his pants.
"Kabir," the muffled voice of a young girl called. "Kabir, where are you?"
Though the girl sounded worried, he remained silent. He didn't want to be seen or found. He wanted to keep hiding in this singular warm patch on the grass, surrounded by only the noise of rustling trees.
The wind blew hard enough to mask all other sounds, keeping the calls of the other voices at bay, effectively hiding Kabir from the rest of the world. The noisy patter of searching footsteps was unheard to the blind child. He even worked on closing his powers off from the ever-present orbs that swam across his mind. He had hidden away in a world of sound and darkness.
Unfortunately, though, the child calling his name didn't solely rely on noise to make her way around in the world, and it wasn't long before he felt the small girl sit next to him. She had seated herself so close to his own that he could feel her natural body heat radiating off of her, warming his side.
He felt a pang of irritation at his quick discovery and refused to acknowledge her presence either physically or vocally. She didn't say a word, either, and for a moment, Kabir could imagine her company wasn't there, and he was still alone.
"Why are you hiding?" She whispered after a while, but he didn't respond. "Everyone is worried about you." She tried again.
"Really?" He said incredulously, rounding on her and hissing his anger. "Everyone? Worried about me? Why would anyone ever have any concern for me?" He spat the words at the girl. He felt her flinch at the venom in his voice, but instead of the usual recoil he would feel at upsetting someone, he felt a strange, almost excited desire to see just how far he could take his fury. The constant pain in his head was worsened by his tears and fueled his rage. He continued;
"What reason would anyone have to be worried about some blind loser? Who would ever even care about some freak like me?" He raged as the words of those who teased him fell from his mouth. "I'm just the stupid, useless kid who sits in the back of the class and acts like a weirdo. Who would be so dumb as to feel any worry for me? Tell me. Who?" He finished in a harsh whisper. The flash of emotion nearly choked out his last question. His fury swelled, and he knew there was more words he could say, but he wanted to see where his anger had put the conversation.
The warm body next to him shivered with suppressed tears of her own now. She sniffled nearby for a few moments before uttering words he never expected. "So I'm dumb?" She choked out so quietly he nearly missed it over the sound of the trees.
His mind halted. His anger stopped in its tracks. Even the cruel, imagined voice that egged him on went silent at the question. He was shocked to hear those three words slip out of the kind young girl's lips. "Wait…No— I…" He tried saying, but his voice, so strong a moment ago, now failed him.
"Is that what I am to you? A person who's dumb enough to care?" Her whisper grew stronger as she spoke until she could be heard clearly over the sound of the wind. "What about your father? Is he dumb too? Or my parents? And Anya or your sister, Athini? How about Doctor Gomez? Would you also like to call her dumb as well? Because that's who's looking for you. That's who's dumb enough to care about you to come out in this wind to hunt your sorry self down." She spat.
He could feel her struggling with her tears. Not the fake ones she used when she's tricking the bullies into leaving him alone. No, these tears were real. Her gasps of sadness and sniffles were genuine.
"I—I'm sorry," he stammered, all of his anger deflating like a balloon. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean what I said. I-I'm just upset." He said, trying to convince himself as well.
"Kabir, you can't say such mean things like that and expect an apology to make the words go away." She answered, returning to a whisper. "How do I even know that your sorry is real?" She questioned. They sat in silence while he thought of a response, but it was several long minutes before he could think of anything, and even then, the words felt empty and useless.
"I don't know." He finally managed with a sigh. "I'm just…." He paused, trying to find the right words this time, "I'm just sad, and tired, and scared, and angry, and…and confused. I don't know what to do." Finally, his thoughts started flowing again. "It's all my fault. I'm the one that the kids pick on because I'm so different. I'm the one the teachers struggle with the most because it's hard for me to keep up when I can't see what's going on. I—" He stumbled on the words, "I'm the one who scared mother away because of this stupid blindness. I've never even met my baby sister because mother took her when she left." He finished with only a slight flash of anger.
"The kids pick on you because they are frightened of your differences. That doesn't make you weird; that makes them Scaredy-Skitty's. That's not your fault." She stated with certainty. "The teachers are moving too fast for most of the kids in class. I know you can't see the grade board, but the ones who pick on you the most have lower test scores than you. As for your mother," She paused to give a snort of disgust, "Well, I think your mother is the real dumb person here. She's too self-centered to see just how great of a kid you are. She doesn't know how kind, nice, and smart you are. I think if anyone is blind, it's her." She declared with a triumphant chuckle.
"And your sister, Ila? Kabir, you know we'll never stop looking for her, right?" She said, placing her hand on his knee.
"What if we find her and she hates me too, though?" He whispered.
"Then she was never worth having in your life," The girl answered softly. "Besides, who could ever dislike a guy as cool as you," She said with a laugh, prodding him with her elbow in his side. "You'd be the best big brother a kid could ever ask for."
Kabir felt his heart rising from her warm words and laughed with her. It still hurt him, the thoughts that swirled in his head, but he also knew that she was right. People don't like it when others are different or even smarter than them.
He felt himself cheering up as she laughed beside him. Though she didn't have the same powerful words as her twin, she was caring and kind, always trying to help, even when her tongue failed. More often than not, her choice to remain silent would give his mind enough time to ponder, cry, or even laugh.
Her emotions were her strongest aspect. She was the type of person who could change the mood of an entire room simply by existing in it. You could be sitting in silence, crying, or angry about something, anything, and the minute she entered, happy and unaware of your circumstances yet, even if you didn't know she was there, your emotions would begin to flip to match her cheerfulness.
The girl next to him put her arm over his shoulder and gave him a squeeze, "Come on tough guy," she said teasingly, "Everyone really is worried about you, and we should get back to them before they call Officer Jenny to send out a search party." She joked, giving his arm a soft punch.
He felt the girl shift next to him and rise. A small hand reached out and grabbed his own carefully, helping to pull him to his feet. She gave a giggle as she marched him off towards the place he had run away from earlier, back to his father and his friends.
Released from the memory, Kabir's mind pondered and pulled at the word, chewing on its meaning and considering its purpose.
Sashi, the word tugged again. My wife. My best friend.
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