FicWad

Luffy is thrown through the doors of iron-hard wax, a scaly mass covered in tentacles pursuing him every step of the way.

He slides to a stop, uninjured by the impact. Stretching his arms back, he shouts an attack. 'GOMU NO... BAZOOKA!!'

His fists snap forward, sending the broken tentacle thing back into the darkness.

'Gotta be careful.' Luffy reminds himself. 'If those guys hit me, it'll be bad.'

The remains of the shattered wax doors are blown off their hinges as Mr 3's powered suit emerges flanked by scores of infected dinosaurs. The creatures attempt to bite into its iron-hard armor to no avail, their hunger driving them to attack anything in sight. 'Oh oh oh ho ho oh!! Splendid! It seems we can still get one day of testing out of our deceitful employees and their arrogant collaborators!'

A swarm of mutant dinosaurs moves towards his booming voice. Their plague-addled bestial minds are moving towards what they believe is a source of food. 'Namely, we'll get to test how effective our monsters are in combat!

Mr 3 points to his hated foe. 'Now you ugly masses of meat! There's a delicious morsel! Kill and eat!'

The creatures, tired of trying to claw through the armor, turn to see Luffy standing there. Their mouths water from starvation, and as one, they charge towards the nearest source of food.

........

Gripping her sister's arm for dear life, Nami dashes through the fray. A particularly lucky raptor manages to get close enough that she can smell its rancid breath.

'Uuuuuu!'

Bang

A bullet from her gun finds its deformed head, killing it instantly. 'Nojiko! Run!

Stop... ug! Fighting me!'

'Uuuuuuugh!!' Nojiko reaches out for a nearby duckbilled dinosaur, its mouth full of hundreds of razor-sharp spines.

Nami raises her gun at the advancing creature.

click

'Cluck!' The navigator holsters her gun and drags her sister away with more force. 'Come on, Nojiko, move!'

She runs down the road thinking about how perfect this day has become. They landed on an island with plenty of food. Now they were the food! They found and effortlessly snuck into an enemy base.

Now they were discovered and pursued. There were no animals attacking them when they arrived. Now they were being pursued by abominations mutated due to the plague. Abyss, they had found multiple doctors only to lose them in the struggle.

RRRaaarrreeeeeEEE

A charging dinosaur with a massive bony head knocks her and her charge to the ground. The creature's uncontrolled charge smashes through a wall, burying its head in iron-hard wax.

Nami struggles to her feet, only to get tackled by something with too many claws and limbs.

REeaRereaRgHGh

It babbles out of its two adjacent mouths as it moves its head closer for a bite. Nami screams incoherently. She presses her arms against its snapping jaws. Thick spittle splashes against her, and the creature's limbs bash into her body. And as its jaws open around her head, her last thought is how much she hates Luffy for losing her staff.

rRARrrAE-

A sharpened metal pipe impales the creature through its skull, coming out the other side. The once magnificent creature’s body collapses, dead and powerless, on top of her.

The improvised spear is ripped from the wound, its gore spilling out of its head.

'Uuuuuuu?' Nojiko looks out of her fishbowl helmet at her pinned sister.

'N-Nojiko?'

'Uuuuuh ugh!' She points to her spear, then the monster on top of Nami.

'Nojiko...' Nami whispers in pure relief. She struggles to move the creature's body off her.

'Uuuuh uuuuh.' Flipping around the staff, the suited girl places the blunt end between Nami and what should have been a dinosaur. 'UUUUUUUH!' She then presses down on the lever, and with Nami's continued squirming, the navigator is able to crawl out from under the corpse.

'Nojiko I...' Nami stands. 'Thank you...I...'

Her task done, Nojiko drops the weapon and turns to look at the flaming research building off in the distance.

'Nojiko can... can you understand me?' Nami walks towards her sister. 'You... you saved me. I wanted to thank you.'

'Uuuuuhhhh.' The girl's head drifts off to the side.

'Nojiko, you...' Nami stutters, forgetting she is in the middle of a battle. 'You know I love you, right?'

'...' Nojiko is silent, staring off into space.

'Nojiko I love-'

'UUUUUUGH!' the girl points and moans loudly.

Nami looks up to see another horde of reptilian monsters, tearing into a group of armed individuals. The guards apparently were not informed of their boss's actions and fled in a pitiful manner from the mass of hungry flesh. The navigator watches just in time to see a long-necked brontosaurus swing its pustule-covered neck like a mace, outright smashing a group of guards to paste. Their organs and shattered limbs fall like rain, a severed head lands not far from the two and rolls to Nami's feet.

She grabs her sister. 'Heartfelt moments later! Run! Now!'

RWwwaAAARRRRR!

Nami turns to see something like a melted ball of Raptors blocking the other side of the street. Its multiple gnashing jaws and clawed limbs thrash about as it slowly advances on them.

Nami instinctively retreats only to find that they are boxed in. On one side, a horde of rampaging carnivores mutated by the plague. On the other hand, a living garbage disposal with claws. Maybe if she runs fast enough, they can get past it-

As Nami turns, a small carpet of green and puke yellow emerges behind the corner of the building, following a group of three terrified guards. A literal swarm of chicken-sized lizards falls upon the panicking people like a swarm of piranhas. In seconds, hundreds of tiny bites tear the screaming guards to pieces. Nami finds her sole path of retreat blocked off.

Okay, no going this way. Maybe-

Nami looks the other way to see the horde trample the few guards who were stupid enough to hold their ground. Now they're charging her direction.

'Gods damn it!' Nami looks around for something, anything they can use to escape. A pipe they can climb. A hole in the ground.

A door held open by Mr 3's partner?

Nami catches the eyes of Miss Golden Week, who is opening a small inward hatch in the side of a building.

'Hurry!' She waves to them. 'This way.'

Nami looks between the horde of advancing monsters and their potential savior.

She makes the only choice she has.

Nami drags Nojiko along as she dashes for the door. Miss Golden Week's flimsy arms slowly pull the bulkhead closed. The ground shakes beneath them as the freakish abominations pursue the two tasty morsels.

'Move!' Nami shouts mid dash.

Miss Golden Week obliges, leaving a small crack in the door.

Nami squeezes through it. She pulls Nojiko inside. And all three of them throw their body weight into the door to close it.

The door shuts with a clang. Miss Golden Week flips a foot-thick metal latch downwards to lock the door in place. The frame rattles as the creatures throw themselves against the other side.

Nami breathes in a sigh of relief and instinctively looks around (for something to steal). Unlike the dark laboratory she expected, she finds an open-air building filled with boxes upon boxes labeled "Sedatives:Watch Dosage". A massive crane made of wax and metal components stands in the center of the room. In its vice-like grip, it holds one of the boxes stories above the ground.

Lots of cargo, but no enemies (save possibly the red-haired girl by her side).

Nami takes a deep breath in.

She's safe.

They're safe-

The doorframe cracks as fleshy masses pound at it from the other side. The cracks widen as a horde slam their freakishly mutated bodies against the barrier again and again.

The red-haired girl points towards a large metal ladder leading up the side of the crane. 'Up there! Hurry!'

Nami doesn't even think. She moves. She drags Nojiko behind her and runs.

Dashing past the crates, they make it to the ladder just as the door breaks down behind them. The metal door falls to the ground, and the hole is forced wider by swarms of mutant lizards shoving their way through the small opening.

'Nojiko! Climb!' Nami shoves her sister towards the ladder.

'Uuuuuu?'

The navigator hears a crashing sound right behind them. The sound of wooden boxes shattering fills her senses.

'Hurry! Nojiko!' She keeps pushing as their red-haired savior climbs, leaving them behind. 'Hurry!'

She hears a loud thump behind her and turns to face her fate.

She finds the living garbage disposal passed out at her feet. Sleeping like a baby. Shuddering breaths that could be snores come out of its multi-fanged maws.

And it isn't alone.

RRRRAeeerr...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A duckbilled monster stamps across a shattered crate, takes in a lungful of blue powder kicked up in the air, and faints dead away.

A crate next to it explodes. A Tyrannosaurus smashes the blue substance high into the sky as it roars to the heavens.

RRRRRROOOOOAAAA......YYYYAAAWWWN

The killing machine with more sharp teeth than a school of sharks yawns and lies down for a nap.

Everywhere the creatures try to push through the clouds of blue smoke, they fall over dead asleep.

'Don't breathe that.' Miss Golden Week says from high above them. 'It's designed for colossal creatures. One whiff and you'll be dead or in a coma for the next month!' Reaching the top of the crane, she waves to them. 'Now hurry up before they find another way through.'

Nami's hands shake from the adrenaline crash as she slips her breathing mask over her face and nose and gets behind her sister. 'Nojiko climb. I'm behind you.'

'Uuuuuhh.'

The two climb the rickety ladder, high above the sleeping monsters, and high above the clouds of blue powder, promising an eternal slumber. The two climb until finally they reach the top. Thief takes in a deep breath, looking around at the impressive view of the harbor in front of them.

Nami removes her mask and sighs in relief. Exhaustion and fatigue fill her body. 'Thank you... whatever your name is.' She smiles. 'I owe you one.'

'Uuuuuu!' Nojiko lies on her back, exhausted.

'We owe you one.'

Miss Golden Week offers a tiny smile. 'You're welcome. Betrayal Black.'

With a flick of her wrist, the red-haired girl covers Nami's left cheek with a mark of black paint.

Nami, the navigator of the Strawhat Pirates, doesn't even have time to respond as her mind is overwritten by a malign influence. Her body shudders for a single moment of resistance before she succumbs completely.

'Uuuuuh!?' Nojiko slowly rises. 'Uuuuuhj?'

Nami punches Nojiko in the stomach, causing the sick girl to fall to the ground.

'U...uuuuu?'

The navigator stomps on her sister's back. 'Shut up, you braindead waste of space.' She stomps on her again. 'Lay down and shut it with your pathetic moaning!'

'Uu...uuuuugh?'

'I said SHUT UP!' Nami kicks Nojiko in the head, her helmet cracks. 'Gods, you're so annoying! You make me sick just listening to you!'

She kicks her sister again, a twisted smile on her face.

'Okay. That's enough.' Miss Golden Week says without a trace of emotion. 'Before we go any further, I need to ask, are you a navigator?'

'Wow, genius. What gave it away?' Nami smirks, holding up a glass compass on her wrist. 'The fact I'm wearing a Log Pose?'

'Actually, yes.'

Nami claps slowly. 'Well, bravo for you. Really observant. Great job.'

'Well, unfortunately, navigators are in short supply here on Little Garden. Most ships only go to Alabasta or bring back supplies from there.' The red-haired artist states. 'So I needed someone who could navigate to a new Island where I wouldn't be discovered.'

'...so that was you.' Nami crosses her arms. 'The mysterious shape I saw in the forest. The person who opened the gate. You led me here.'

Miss Golden Week nods. 'It seems Betrayal Black hasn't dulled your intelligence. That's good.'

'Yeah, what is this stuff anyway?' Nami points to the mark she feels on her cheek, specifically the painted black circle. 'That worthless idiot Luffy touched it, and he couldn't stop laughing. Is this some kind of devil fruit?'

The red-haired girl shakes her head. 'No. It's a drug compound that soaks into the skin to modify mood and disposition. Your particular cocktail is a combination of all my colors. Exposure results in a combination of so many different feelings that it effectively reverses your normal emotional responses.'

Nami smiles. 'Well, whatever it is, I like it.' She kicks Nojiko again. 'You don't know how long I've waited to do that. She's annoying as the pit.'

Kicking Nojiko again, she looks at her "liberator" with an inquisitive look. 'And your goal? What use do you have for the best Navigator from the East Blue?'

Miss Golden Week looks at Nami with a sad, pitiful look. 'You saw Mr 3. What do you think I want?'

'Hummmm, let me think.' The navigator rubs her chin. 'To bash his brains in?'

The girl shudders, nearly dropping her brush and easel. 'I tried that once. It... did not go well... at all.'

A loud crash is heard over the island.

'Plus, given how strong your friends are, I don't think Mr 3 will be breathing for very long.'

'Friends? More like tormentors! As for my second guess...' She snaps. 'You want to get the heck out of here.'

Miss Golden Week nods. 'That's right. All I want now is to find somewhere to hone my skills, craft new paints, and create masterpieces to my heart's content.'

Nami thinks for a moment. 'Quick question.' She points to the paint on her face. 'What happens if this paint comes off?'

'Then you return to normal.' The girl says earnestly.

'And is there a time limit?'

Miss Golden Week thinks. 'It generally depends on size. For someone of your size and weight, it should last around six hours.'

Nami claps. 'Great. We'll grab my ship and stop off on some inhabited island.' The navigator smiles. 'In exchange, you use your paints to keep me like this. Deal?'

The former officer of Baroque Works smiles and shakes the brainwashed navigator's hand. 'Deal. Though I'm surprised you're so receptive to Betrayal Black.'

Nami groans. 'Please! Every day with those Idiots is an unending nightmare! It's a massive headache dealing with them and their stupidity. I'm not their clucking babysitter!' She gestures to the mark on her face with a grin. 'Not caring about those plague sticks is the best thing that ever happened to me!'

'I'm glad you feel that way. It will make it easier to administer future doses of the paint.' The girl smiles. 'In fact, I had a wonderful idea I wanted to try by using my paints in a tattoo...'

A hand grabs Miss Golden Week's ankle.

'EEEEEEE!' She jumps out of Nojiko's feeble grasp.

'Uuu...uuuummm...'

'Which!' Nami kicks her sister into the railing. 'I thought I told you to stay down.' She turns to the artist. 'You okay... whoever you are?'

Miss Golden Week takes in a deep breath and straightens out her pink hat. 'Call me Marianne. And what is wrong with her? She keeps moaning at me.'

'Uuu...uuuuu...'

Nami spits on her. 'She has the plague, that's what. She's a useless waste of space that should have died weeks ago.' She turns away, wiping a stream of tears from her right eye. 'Now come on. We'll grab a boat, brainwash a crew there, and pilot it to my ship.'

Marianette smiles. 'And from there, freedom and art.'

'Freedom and money are more like it!' The brainwashed navigator grins, walking off. 'Come on, I've one hundred eighty million Belli to burn and a desire to make out with a hot chick. Neither of which we can do here!'

Marianne follows a slight rosy tint on her cheeks. 'I have a feeling we're going to be good friends, Miss Navigator. Tell me, how would you like to try out my Passion Pink when we have some time to ourselves?'

'I said "a hot chick," not a prepubescent girl!'

'With respect, Miss Navigator, I'm sixteen.'

'Still no! I don't want people thinking I'm some deviant! Why do you look so young anyway?'

'...I'd rather not talk about it.'

'Parents?'

Marianne stops next to the ladder leading down to the floor. 'Mr 3. I was his partner for three and a half years.' She starts climbing down.

'...And you're sure you don't want me to shoot him?' Nami follows behind her “friend”.

'Positive. Let's leave this Abyss hole.'

The two walk down a ladder, leaving the moaning Nojiko behind, writhing in pain.

......

'GOMU NO... GATTLING GUN!!'

A barrage of fists pounds into waves of mutated flesh. Bones snap, jaws break, legs buckle, but the dinosaurs trudge forward. Their blighted bodies sag but continue to advance towards the Strawhats' captain. Any injuries to their infected tissue reknit before the damage can be registered by their foggy minds. The only thoughts inside their infested minds are their hunger and the urge to destroy the creature harming them.

RRRRRAAaaaarRrraeRRREEE

A bulky, long-necked creature with several heads bellows out like a siren.

Luffy brings his leg up, stretching it far above the pained creature.

'Gomu no Axe!!'

He brings his foot down on its head, splattering its brains into the ground.

The beast falls over, crushing everything unfortunate enough to be under its body.

More abominations crawl over the corpse.

'Man, these guys keep coming!' Luffy pulls off a backflip that flips over a charging Triceratops. He grabs the tail of the attacking creature.

'Gomu no Flail!' With massive reserves of strength, he swings it into the crowd, smashing and breaking their bodies.

More fill the gaps roaring, moaning, advancing without ceasing, without any comprehension of pain.

'Seriously!? These guys…' Luffy sidesteps another charging creature with more teeth than scales. 'Won't quit!'

RRRRRaaaaaarrrrr....

'And they're in pain too...' Luffy jumps and stomps on another dinosaur's back, cracking it on two. 'If only there was a way to hit them all at once. And hard enough they won't get up again.'

EEEEEERRRRRRaaarRrrr

Luffy grabs the swollen raptor's head with his feet and spins, snapping its neck.

'Hummm?' Luffy lands on his feet as his eye catches something.

Something BIG.

'Oh yeah! That'll work!'

Luffy dodges a few more charges and walks over to the object he spied.

He looks up. He looks to the left. Then he looks to the right.

'Yep! This is big enough, all right.'

The captain of the Strawhats plants his feet and spits on his hands before he grabs the object with a firm grip. His muscles tense, he grunts, face turning red. The ground beneath him cracks from the strain.

The horde of monsters behind him, driven by base thoughts, watch in fear as a massive, long object slowly passes above them. Their primal brains equate the huge white object above them with a massive creature.

'AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!' Luffy roars, his muscles straining as he raises the weight above his head. He turns his body. 'GOMU NOOOOOO...'

The monsters from the depths of mankind's nightmares turn to run.

'...WOOOOODDDDCHIIIIPPPER!!'

WWWWWWHHHHHAAAAMMMM!!!

Luffy swings a pillar of iron-hard wax the size of a tower down on the mass of Dinosaurs. The blow lands with the force of a meteor, and the ground shakes like an earthquake. Half the horde is instantly squashed into paste. The lucky survivors are thrown against the adjacent walls of the warehouses with every bone in their bodies broken.

The buildings crack from the force of the blow, and a literal ton of dirt is thrown into the air as a massive cloud of dust.

Luffy looks at the massive foundation pillar and wipes a bead of sweat from his face. 'Pheew! That was heavy. I still need a better name, though. Woodchipper sounds more like a lot of smaller attacks, not one big one.'

Luffy looks around as he thinks. 'Now what to call it...huh?'

Out of the corner of his eye, he notices another horde of mutated Dinosaurs coming at him from the other side. They stare blank-eyed at the freak who is capable of swinging an object a hundred times his size like a flyswatter.

'Oh! More guys to test my move on!' He grabs the pillar. 'Hold on! Uuuugh! I'll be right there!!'

The giant blood-stained piece of wax rises slowly into the air.

The immortal beasts turn to run.

'GOMU NO... BIG AXEEE!!!'

WWWWWWHHHHHAAAAMMMM!!!

'... darn! That didn't sound right either! Plus, I already have a Gomu no Axe! Hold on a second...'

The bloody pillar rises again over the horde of terrified monsters as they turn to flee.

'GOMU NO... BATTERRRR!!!'

WWWWWWHHHHHAAAAMMMM!!!

'No... that was closer but doesn't have a cool ring to it.'

The blood-soaked pillar rises again above a terrified horde of monsters.

'How about GOMU NO... MASSIVE MALLET!!'

WWWWWWHHHHHAAAAMMMM!!!

'Yeah! That's it! That attack name is awesome! I'd like to see Ace come up with better.'

The captain looks around at the sea of carnage. The hundreds of monsters threatening his friends were effectively routed.

Luffy pants for a moment and wipes off a handful of sweat. 'Man, I'm starting to get hungry. Hope Sanji's working on that big feast!'

The captain of the Strawhats notices another horde of rampaging dinosaurs, oblivious to his presence.

'Something tells me UUUUGHHH!!' Luffy again raises his weapon of choice. 'I'm gonna be hungry after this!'

........

'I can't believe you left Vargas behind!' The female doctor screams.

'It was him or us, Penelope!' A scruffy-looking man shouts back, running down the road. 'While the beasts feed on him, we can make it to the boats!'

'And...go where... Anderson!?' The oldest of the doctors asks, out of breath. He leans on a nearby building. 'We're not... sailors... and we have no way... to navigate to a new island.'

The scruffy man in the front turns back, stopping mid-sprint. 'We're doctors in the middle of an epidemic, Tsuriui!' The man turns. 'With our skills, we can name our price! The guards would take us wherever we wanted just for treating them! Heck, they'd probably sell us their children if we asked for them!'

The three doctors are soon joined by five more, each one panting and out of breath.

'You really are...' One of the short doctors breathes heavily, tearing off his medical mask. 'A piece of work...Fernando.'

'Hey, at least I'm coming up with a plan here!' He reaches into his pocket. 'Besides, I already have our exit strategy.'

Out of a small pocket in the back of his pink scrubs, he pulls out a small wooden object. The crew gathers around it, able to see the small compass on the inside and the plaque labeled "Drum Kingdom" on the side.

'Go back to Drum!?!' A short man shouts. 'That's your plan, go back to Wapol? The man who sold us for food!?!'

'Of course not!!' The scruffy doctor looks behind them, looking for any trace of pursuing monsters. Finding none, he leans in. 'But the country is in open revolt against him! And several doctors will be in huge demand by any would-be rebels!'

'You want to join the Rebel Army!?! That's even worse!' The woman shouts. 'Wapol would just enslave us, the RA make us into piles of corpses and light us on fire for fun!'

'You actually believe that World Government propaganda?!' The old man shouts back. 'I know for a fact they don't make "mountains" of corpses, they eat them in their tribal rites!'

'We're wasting time!' He points to the harbor. 'All the ships have Eternal Poses to Alabasta! Once we get on board...'

'Now you want to go to Alabasta!?' The scruffy man shouts. 'Baroque Works is swarming there! We'll be caught for sure!'

'Better than returning to Drum and praying Wapol doesn't find us!' The short man snaps back. 'Besides, everything you said would apply to Alabasta! If we help them treat the Plague with our knowledge...'

'I've had enough of the Plague and enough of Baroque Works!' The woman shouts louder. 'My vote is for Drum! At least there-'

A Tyrannosaurus with massive biceps made of tumors crashes through the building behind them, no doubt lured by their loud shouting.

'AaaaaaaHhhg!'

'I hate you, Fernando!'

RRRRAAAAAWWWWRRRR

The tumor-riddled beast prepares to consume them all in one bite.

'BULL NEEDLE CHARGE!!'

Only to fall to the ground as its legs are cut to ribbons beneath it. Three swords carve its lower limbs to ribbons with superhuman strength.

RRRAAaaarrrwWWWW

The Tyrannosaurus thrashes on the ground, bleeding black, grey blood from its shredded stumps. It cries out in pain. Reaching out with its misshapen arms, seemingly made of human flesh, it attempts to grab the doctors.

A flash of yellow shoots towards it.

'Supersonic Slash!'

Karoo shoots under the creature's head. Vivi's sword swings are propelled by mechanical muscles stronger than someone thrice her size. The scimitar bites into the beast's neck, and quicker than an eyeblink, the mount and her rider are skidding to a stop on the other side of the beast.

The princess swings a trickle of blood off the blade and sheathes it. A moment later, the Tyrannosaurus' neck opens like a fountain pouring out its tainted blood over the ground.

Zoro whistles in admiration. 'Clean cut there, princess.'

Vivi smiles. 'I apologize, Mr Swordsman. You were about to finish it off, and I interrupted.'

'Wert wwwert!'

'And Karoo apologizes as well.'

Zoro chuckles. 'Don't worry about it, you can treat me to your alcohol ration for the next week, and we'll call it even.'

'Three days, Mr Swordsman. I have to split my rations with Karoo.'

'Fine!' The swordsman says with a good-natured grin. 'But for now, maybe we should be paying attention to our guests.'

Vivi looks at the group with an icy, cold glare. 'Yes. Let us greet these fine individuals.' Using the reins, she moves Karoo forward.

One of the doctors attempts to address their saviors. 'T-Thank you, miss-'

'Frontier agent Miss Wednesday.' The princess addresses herself. The group instinctively flinches. Before they can reply, she gestures to the man next to her. 'And this is the new Mr Nine.'

Zoro grunts at this.

'We arrived here to confirm Project Utopia is on schedule when we discovered this mess.' She says coldly. 'Now report on what is happening. Unless of course...' she thumbs the blade by her side. 'I need to remind you of what happens to traitors in Baroque Works.'

Zoro watches, impressed as the group begins to tremble in fear. Each and every one in the group was obviously terrified after being discovered in the midst of their "betrayal".

'Well? Why are you plague doctors out and about?' She points to the oldest of the group, a tall, prestigious-looking man. 'You there. Start talking. Now.'

'We... we...'

'We what?' Vivi demands an answer.

'Pirate attack!'

The group of doctors looks to the sole female of the group. She takes in a deep breath as she begins her rambling tale. 'We were minding our own business doing our research when these pirates attacked us!' She rambles. 'A viscous orange hair, a woman in a gimp suit, and some man with stretchy arms!'

The two Strawhats look at each other.

'And they attacked you?' Zoro asks.

'Absolutely!' The scruffy doctor continues the story, understanding the intent behind it. 'And when Mr 3 tried to defend us, they attacked him too! We tried to help but were no match for their base savagery!'

'And in desperation...' the woman says. 'Mr 3 unleashed all the living weapons we prepared to unleash on Alabasta! We had hundreds of hungry dinosaurs that we planned to use for Project Utopia.'

'Living weapons, huh?' Zoro says, glancing at the twitching corpse of the creature they felled. 'They look... dangerous.'

The short doctor nods. 'They were Mr 9! We mutated them to craft them into exemplary shock troops, and Mr 3 let them out! We barely escaped from them with our lives! We even lost the samples we made of formula EG-90!'

'EG-90?' Vivi asks.

'It's a formula designed to accelerate the growth of plague tumors.' The older doctor says helpfully. 'The earlier compounds we released in Alabasta are greatly inferior compared to this one! If you applied this new substance to a group of lowly peasants, you would have an army of powerful mutants overnight!

'That's right!' One of the blonde doctors contributes. 'With our invention, you could greatly speed up the progression of the Plague in Alabasta!'

'You... released chemicals like this... before?' Vivi asks, obviously horrified.

'Not directly, of course, Miss Wednesday!' The short doctor says, completely missing their savior’s area of concern. 'We were too enraptured in our wonderful research. We simply gave the infected volunteers the substances and instructions on how to best spread it to the worthless chattel of Alabasta along with their Plague.'

'...is that so?'

'But we can make more!' The female doctor claims. 'We would love to be of help to Baroque Works and their attempts to create a Utopia! We're still completely loyal to the organization!'

'...'

'Miss Wednesday? Are you... okay?' The elder doctor asks

'...and do any of you... regret what you've done?'

'Huh?'

Vivi looks at the group, her eyes are dead serious. 'Do you regret spreading the Plague in Alabasta? Of hurting and destroying the lives of the people there?' Her gaze is cold and hard, letting them know this single answer will decide their fate. 'I... I would not blame you if you had reservations about what you have been doing.'

'O-Of course not!' The scruffy doctor says with absolute certainty. 'We are happy to help you create a Utopia! We fully believe in the cause of Baroque Works!'

'Indeed! While it is regrettable, their sacrifices are all in the name of science.' The old doctor claims.

'Those worthless camel kissers are much better off as test subjects!' The short doctor claims. 'What else would those barbarians do with their meaningless lives?'

'We support the goals of Baroque Works!' The female doctor claims. 'Now and forever!'

'We'll fight with you to the very end!' A blonde doctor claims. 'And death to anyone who gets in our way!'

'It's a new line of research that will benefit all mankind! There's no need to regret anything!'

'Those who stand against the progress we bring are enemies of science! They deserve no pity!'

'We are honored to work alongside such a benevolent and kind Organization like Baroque Works!'

'...'

'...'

'...'

A dead, increasingly uncomfortable silence covers the group and their surroundings. Even the sounds of carnage and rampaging monsters seem far off and distant compared to the almost palpable quiet between the doctors and the disguised pirates.

'…So, um, Miss Wednesday? Could you help escort us to Alabasta?' The older doctor asks kindly. 'I’m certain Crocodile would be most appreciative. Then once we are safe on a ship, you can return to help Mr 3!'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'... Um, Miss Wednesday? Mr Nine?’

'...' Zoro readies his blades.

'Mr 9.' Vivi's voice cuts off the swordsman. 'Please go and help Mr 3.'

Zoro glances back at her. 'Are you sure?'

Vivi nods. 'Positive. I think he will need your... assistance.'

He looks back at the doctors who suddenly have a sinking feeling that they said something wrong. 'And what about these... compassionate doctors?'

'...I will take care of these traitors.'

Zoro gives her one more glance, a look that is calm and non-judgemental, before nodding and running off.

'Other way, Zoro. Try going towards the loud noises.'

Zoro grunts and runs in the opposite direction.

Vivi watches her crewmate run off for half a minute before turning back to the doctors.

Then, each and every one of them realizes they have somehow made a horrible mistake as the cold, cruel eyes of Miss Wednesday fall on them.

'Miss Wednesday, please! We are loyal to Baroque Works!' The old doctor pleads. 'We would be happy to help you! W-We'll do whatever you say!'

'...you are happy to destroy Alabasta?'

'Yes! A thousand times yes!' The scruffy doctor shouts. The other doctors behind him nod frantically.

'Even if I were not Miss Wednesday, agent of Baroque Works?' Vivi asks. 'Even if, say, you were speaking to Princess Vivi Nefertari of the Kingdom of Alabasta?'

The doctors' faces pale in horror. The sounds of explosions and battle echo between the buildings.

'Would you still be happy to kill all of my people if you knew you were speaking to their princess?'

'N-NO!!' The short man shouts, falling on his face. 'Please forgive us, princess! Have mercy!'

'W-We only said those things because we thought you were a member of Baroque Works!' The woman claims. 'Y-You know we didn't mean it!'

'Right!' The old man says with a crooked smile. 'In fact, we would be HONORED to treat the people of your homeland! We would be HONORED if you let us make amends!'

'...just like how, five minutes ago, you were honored to murder my people?' Vivi spits out. 'Just like how you were honored to betray your oaths as doctors, create biological weapons, and instruct madmen in their use?'

'O-Our research can help you! Help your people!' The scraggly man says. 'You need our skills to have any hope of curing your people! Y-You can't kill us!'

Vivi steps off her mount, her cold eyes never leaving the group. 'And how many millions did this research kill?' She asks them coolly. 'How many men, women, and children died to your skills so that you could keep your worthless lives?'

'P-Please!' The foremost doctor literally falls on his knees. 'We were forced! We didn't want to help them!'

Vivi glares down at them and slowly draws her scimitar. Its keen edge glimmers in the sunlight.

'Y-You won't kill us! We're doctors!' Another claims.

'We can treat you!' The woman states. 'We have medical expertise!!'

Vivi stands there in front of them, sword and pistol drawn. The blade clenched in her metal arm nearly vibrates from her constrained rage.

'Please!!'

The princesses of the kingdom of Alabasta look upon the quivering masses of humanity. 'You can bribe men with money and power.'

She slowly walks towards them, Karoo watching on with a sorrowful look. 'You can bribe an animal with food and shelter.'

She raises the blade in her metal arm, sunlight shining off the keen edge. 'But you cannot bribe justice itself.'

She cocks the hammer of her gun. 'You cannot silence the screams of the dying and those you have killed.'

Vivi states with a tone of cool finality. 'And most of all, you cannot run from the vengeance of Alabasta.'

'Please weAAAAUUUII...!'

Vivi's sword cleaves the scruffy doctor in two, from collarbone to pelvis.

Bang

A bullet finds another doctor.

The guilty professionals scream and attempt to run.

The vengeful desert princess falls upon them like a storm.

......

'Interesting.' Mr 3 talks to himself, his colorful suit contrasting with the white building he is standing on. 'Fascinating.' He says to no one in particular.

He watches as Luffy slams down a pillar far too heavy for a normal man, crushing his foes with ease.

'Impressive to say the least.' The man licks his lips. 'I simply must add him to my collection. He would make a marvelous statue were he stuck screaming for eternity.'

He jumps off his perch, crashing into the ground like a boulder before rising again. 'Now that he's tired and distracted, it would be a simple matter to take him off guard.'

'So. I take it from your stupid hair that you're Mr 3?'

The boss of the Rainbow City cringes at the inelegant comparison. He turns his massive suit, coming face to face with the arrogant voice.

He finds an ugly, green-haired man, wrapping a dirty black bandana around his head.

'So I have stupid hair!?' Mr 3 scoffs. 'Says the stupid green-haired fool!"

The man draws several swords. 'So I take it that's a yes.' He places the white blade in his mouth.

'Yes, I have stupid hair!?! You... you...' The agent growls. 'I'll have you know you ingrate that I am the third highest ranked individual in Baroque Works!! I created this city and developed the infrastructure needed to improve the plague by leaps and bounds!! I captured monsters lost to time and bent them to my will as my slaves!! I...'

'BULL DEMON!!' Zoro takes his stance. 'COURAGEOUS TALONS!!'

All three blades hit Mr 3's armor dead center at the same time, throwing the massive body back. The blow cleaves into the iron-hard armor and surprisingly draws the arrogant operative's blood.

'Aaaaaa!! You bastard!' The agent places his wax arm over the center wound, patching the rend with more wax. 'You cut me! And you ruined my paint job! You are...'

'DEMON HUNT!!' Zoro's blades strike again, cutting into the wax like a hot knife through butter.

'Stop interrupting me!!' Mr 3 screams. 'Just let me...'

'CRAB CUT!!' Using the three swords like a vice, Zoro disarms the weakened left

arm sending it flying.

'Agh!! Die! Multi candle spears!' Mr 3 holds out his other wax arm, which fires off a forest of sharp white projectiles.

'STREAMING WOLF BLADES!!' With uncharacteristic, flexible movements, Zoro weaves between the spears, dodging certain death with ease.

'S-Stay back!! Candle wall!' A wall of iron-hard wax forms between them.

Zoro leaps over it with ease, his body spins like a tornado of death.

Mr 3 doesn't even have time to scream as the swordsman's blades fall.

'DRAGON TWISTER!!' The spinning three blades rip the weakened armor in half. Zoro's overwhelming force slices it down. The swordsman lands behind the collapsed suit, breathing heavily.

With a steady breath, he removes the bandana, sheathes the Wano, and looks back at the so-called "number 3" in the entire organization. Only to find the white suit empty.

'Candle Lock!'

A white stream of wax covers his right arm, forcing him to drop Oni as his hand is covered in a sticky white substance.

'Oh ho oh oh oh!!' A nasally voice laughs from on top of a nearby building. 'You let your guard down, you brainless fool! While it was a loss to discard my brilliantly painted suit, I am a master escape artist! I freed myself from your pitiful attack by...'

'Wait, that was paint?' Zoro laughs. 'I thought you just threw up over your outfit?'

'Candle spears!!' Mr 3 fires off a series of sharp wax blades at Zoro, who conveniently blocks them with the white pillar around his arm. 'Die die die die!!'

Laughing at getting an actual challenger, Zoro runs up the building using Tiger as a climbing pick. 'One and a half sword style!' He roars as he reaches the top of the warehouse. 'Punch to the face!'

'That's not a sword-'

Zoro's wax-encased arm pounds the smug man in the face, sending him flying. His glasses shatter on the roof as his face skids against it.

'AAwwwaaa! Ou astard! Ahi ace!! Ow unined-'

'RHINO RAMPAG-'

'ANDLE AMPION!!' Mr 3 conjures an armor equivalent to his first before Zoro's blade can strike him. Though his armored body is pushed back, the wax holds.

Panting, Mr 3 brings his hand up to his face, snapping his broken nose back into place with a wax arm. 'You... you... YOU!!' Mr 3 screams.

The tip of his hair catches fire and burns like a candle wick. His pink pustules seem to boil red with rage. 'You worthless, ignorant, pathetic-'

'Super strong?'

'Super strong, evil ... STOP INTERRUPTING ME YOU...' The boss of the island looks behind him to find the first of the unwelcome guests, the worthless straw hat-wearing one.

'Hey Zoro!' Luffy says with cheer. 'About time you showed up! And I can see you found three hairs! You need help?'

He is standing behind him. Smiling. Like the cheeky bastard he was. Without a care in the world.

'Thanks, captain.' Zoro places his one blade back in its sheath. 'But I've got it. I have a new move I've been dying to test out.'

Mr 3 wonders to himself what hurt more. Getting punched in the face or listening to this drivel.

'You too? Wow, we're coming up with all sorts of cool moves today. ' Luffy sits down. 'Okay, I'll wait right here till you're done.'

Yes. He can definitely see where his crew gets their obnoxious behavior from. This is definitely worse than being punched in the face.

Zoro breathes in. 'The sword is one with me. I am one with the sword, one with the universe. One wi-'

'WAX FLOOOOOODD!!' Torrents of wet white waves pour from every square inch of Mr 3's body. The armor disolves instantly as a river of molten wax spills out over the building and its surroundings.

'Zoro!' Reaching out, Luffy jumps out of the path of the wave.

But his first mate isn't so lucky. His legs quickly become encased in iron-hard wax.

'Zoro!' Luffy hangs from a metal lightning rod sticking out from the top of the building. Watching as an exhausted Mr 3 lands on top of a pile of melted wax, the captain’s face morphs into one of anger 'Let him go three hairs!! GOMU NO...'

Flipping his body, Luffy stretches in the opposite direction to shoot himself at his tired foe. 'ROCKET!'

'C-Candle wall!' Mustering his dregs of strength, the agent conjures a thick wall between them.

A wall Luffy cartoonishly smashes into, complete with a Luffy-sized indent on the other side.

'You...' Mr 3 manages to rise. 'You and your worthless friends have insulted, belittled, and aggravated me for the last time!!'

Mr 3 shouts defiantly, pointing to the two trapped pirates. 'You may have vanquished those worthless scientists' pet lizards! Oh ho ho ho oh oh!!' He laughs maniacally. 'But you and this wretched DUMP of an island I've been trapped on are nothing compared to my greatest creation! My island destroying...'

'PISTOL!!'

A fist once again hits Mr 3 in the face. Luffy, having pulled himself free of the impact indent.

'Release your wax three hairs!' Luffy smashes his fists together. 'Now!'

'Eeeee!' Pointing his fingers beneath him, Mr 3 flies into the air, propelled by a stream of wax.

'Hey!!' Luffy runs after him. 'Get back here! I'm not done beating you up!!'

And so Luffy runs off to engage in pitched combat.

Leaving Zoro trapped in wax up to his waist, his only drawn sword swept out of his free arm.

'... Luffy... you Idiot!!' Zoro thrashes against his restraints. 'What about me!?'

He punches the wax, barely chipping it. He sighs, seeing no other way, he punches again and again, forcing his way out with brute power. 'Luffy, when I get out of here, you're so going to get it!'

..........

'Now that you've been painted, are you ready to obey me?' Marinette asks her new "friends".

As one of the group of twenty or so sailors, dressed in body-length tan jumpsuits, salute as one. 'We are! We are best friends, Miss Golden Week!' The lead sailor shouts, wearing a massive, unnatural smile. 'I won't even question why we're leaving without cargo because you're my best friend!'

The ship that the rogue agent and navigator find themselves on is an overgrown cargo hauler. Its bulky mass, once filled with crates, is now empty and high in the water. The open top design and high sides make it look more like a Viking longboat than a ship of the line.

The brainwashed Nami stands next to him, appraising the green-yellow mark on their bodies. She whistles. 'So this is your Friendship Green-Yellow, huh? Wonder why you didn't use it on me.'

Marianne sighs. 'Whatever your name is?' The lead sailor nods as his best friend addresses him. 'Please tell me what is the best way to tie a hitch knot?'

The sailor blinks. 'Whatever way you say it is my most wonderful friend! You're so smart and great.'

'Aaaah.' Black-painted Nami nods. 'So they're stupid.'

'Like a sack of hammers.' The red-haired girl turns to the group. 'Now raise anchor and set sail. Miss Nami here...' she gestures to the beaming orange-haired woman. 'Will guide us to her ship. Listen to her instructions, okay?'

The sailors all salute. 'Aye aye, super best friend! Men! To your posts!' The crew all run about the deck in a single-minded urge to impress their "new best friend". Ropes are untied, and anchors are raised as the ship drifts away from the white wax dock.

Nami, ex-navigator of the Strawhats, stretches her back, popping it with a pleasant moan. 'Finally. Goodbye, idiot Strawhats. Hello freedom!' The navigator's distorted personality shines through her actions. 'So any recommendations for an Island? I don't know too many here in the Grand Line.'

Marianette stands on deck staring at the rainbow city as it drifts away.

Black Nami sighs, walks up, and snaps her fingers in Marianne's face. 'Earth to Miss Artsy? You there?'

'Oh!' The artist is roused from her daydreams. 'It's just... I can't believe we're leaving. I dreamed of this for so long I can hardly believe it's happening.'

'Well, we're not out of the woods yet. Navigating to a new island will be the hard part.' Nami looks at the compass on her wrist. 'We'll essentially be sailing blind since our log pose hasn't locked onto the new Island.'

'That makes sense. It takes a year to lock onto a new island here in little garden.'

'A YEAR?' Nami shouts in disbelief.

'Yes. It is another reason, along with Mr 3's hobbies, why few guests make it off Little Garden alive.' Marianne watches as a horde of monsters in the distance spills into a new building. 'And soon he'll be dead, and this awful city will be all be gone.'

Nami rolls her eyes 'If you hated him so much, why didn't you use your freaky paints on that 3 guy?' The navigator asks. 'You could have used them to make him treat you nicer, so why didn't you?'

Marianne's fingers quiver. 'Because as bad as Mr 3's abuse was...'

......

'Look at how pretty you look now, Miss Golden Week! Thanks to yours truly and my marvelous employees, you are now the picture of petite beauty! And all it took was replacing your bones with smaller ones made with my perfect wax, then removing a few fatty lumps on your chest! And once they finish up reconstructing your face, you'll be cute and small forever! Aren't I a good friend? Oh, you don't need to say anything through your gag! I know you love it! I'm such a great artist, how could you not love my work? Look, you're even crying in joy!'

......

'...being his "friend" was infinitely worse.' She grips her hands just thinking of her partner.

'...You're looking for empathy in the wrong place, girl.' She points at the black mark with her thumb. 'In case you didn't notice, I'm evil Nami now.'

'Just because your personality has been inverted doesn't mean you're incapable of empathy.' Marianne clarifies.

Nami dusts off her hands and watches a dinosaur devour a guard on shore. 'Well, I'm done with it.'

'Really?' The artist joins her companion, looking out at the shore.

'Really.' She smiles on hearing their screams. 'Empathy, kindness, friends? They're a waste of time. I don't care about any of my so-called "friends" anymore. Just me, myself, and the almighty Belli.'

'Really?' Marianne points. 'What about her?'

Nami scoffs. 'What part of "I don't care" do you... Nojiko!?'

Far off on the opposite shore, the battered girl in the suit follows them. She waves her arms frantically as she runs alongside the ship.

'UUUUUUUUUUUUU!!' She screams while running.

'...she's awfully persistent, isn't she?' Marianne comments.

'One of her worst attributes.' Nami scoffs dismissively. 'Things would have been better if she had just lain down and died. Brainless and refuses to quit. No wonder Luffy didn't let me kill her, they're both morons!'

'UuuuUUUUUUUUH!!' Nojiko cries louder. She runs as fast as her tired legs can carry her, following the boat. Following Nami.

'Hey, brainless moron!' Nami cups her hands and shouts. 'Run faster! Who knows, you might catch us and save me!'

The navigator turns to the artist. 'She can't catch us. Te he he!'

'UuuuuuuUUUUUU!!'

'Uhgh! Brainless idiot!' Nami shouts over the railing. 'Why don't you just give up! I HATE you! I never want to see you again!' The navigator says with teary eyes. 'Just hurry up and die like our worthless mom!'

'UuuuuuUUU!!' Nojiko stumbles, but picks herself up, running alongside the boat. 'UUUUuuuuuUuuu!'

'Why...? Why...?' Nami asks herself. 'Why am I crying?'

Marianne sighs, watching a river of tears flow down her navigator's chin. 'It's probably a subconscious emotional reaction to seeing someone in danger. It will no doubt fade when she expires.'

'UuuuuuUUU-' Far off on shore, Nojiko is knocked to the ground by a hungry dino.

'NOJIKO!!' Nami screams, tears stream down her face and neck.

She watches with a conflicted look as the woman fights against a creature with too many claws. Sadness and happiness wage a war. Her face switches between grins and sobs as several smaller dinos circle around, hungry for any meat they can scavenge.

'Fascinating.' Marianne observes Nami's twitching body with cruel passivity. 'Even with your personality reversed to hate the people you cared about, you're still torn up watching-'

Nami punches Marianne to the ground.

'What?' The artist clutches her face. 'How did you break out of...'

She looks at Nami's angry, tear-stained face. The location where her mark was is a dripping mess. The circular mark of black is a faded smear flowing down her outfit from the tears dripping off her face. The paint of Betrayal Black drips off of her body, causing the look of cruelty on her face to be replaced by one of incandescent rage.

'M-Miss navigator.' Marianne raises her hands. 'Let's... talk about this.'

'Sailor guys!' Nami shouts to the crew. 'Miss Golden Week wants you to crash the ship there!' She points to the pier where Nojiko is fighting for her life against the lizards. 'And save that girl in black!'

'She does?'

'She wants us to crash the boat?'

'We'd love to!' The leader smiles and draws a cutlass. 'You all heard Co-Friend Navigator! Ramming speed!'

'Aye Aye, captain!' The helmsman spins the wheel to the right. 'Ramming speed!'

The boat turns towards the other side of the pier.

'N-No!' Marianne tries to get up. 'Don't-'

Nami draws her gun on the artist.

Marianne freezes, looking down the barrel.

'Give me a reason.' Nami says with utter hate and disgust. She cocks the hammer of her gun. 'Any reason.'

The two stare at each other. Nami glares at her, debating whether it would be more efficient to waste the bullet or the brainwashing witch. Marianne debates whether there is anything she could say to get control of the situation. That, or give her the second she needs to use Betrayal Black again. But neither gets the chance to act.

The boat rams into the pier. Its wooden frame cracks against the iron-hard substance and throws them both to the ground.

'All right, men!' The smiling boat captain lets go of the rope he was holding onto. 'You heard the Co-Friend! Charge! Save the strange girl! For friendship!'

'For Friendship!' The sailors cheer as they charge overboard into a horde of hungry lizards.

The creatures taken off guard by the sudden, fearless assault fall to the blade and gun. A man falls blade-first from the mast on top of a two-tailed duckbill. Another unloads his pistols into a Triceratops with a swollen tumor for a head. Another swings a boarding axe through a raptor's neck before cutting open the throat of another with his knife. The men fight with absolute conviction and faith in their friends, fearless even in the face of mind-shattering abominations.

Reeling to her feet, Nami takes in her surroundings. She looks between Marianne, horrible, disgusting Marianne, who warped her mind for her own purposes, and the crowd cutting her way.

to her sister.

She aims her gun.

'Please! Don-'

Nami shoots the prone Marianne.

'AAAAi!' The artist clutches the bullet hole in her leg, screaming in pain.

'...If I see you again, I won't miss.' And the navigator enters the fray against the hungry creatures.