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Sausages, It was a Tuesday


By Lord Raa


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Chapter 5


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Disclaim-me-do: I bet your lymph nodes are as big as cats


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Ritsuko sat with her eyes glued to the monitor. She was dealing with the massive bombshell that Gendo wasn't lying when he said he'd been having a relationship with her mother.

When she learned more of the details and of how history seemed to be repeating itself, she began to feel sick.

"That bastard!" Ritsuko cursed. The blonde read further on, seeing that there had been signs that Gendo had decided that Naoko was no longer needed for his plan. "That bastard never cared for her, either."

The next part of the diary was the most disturbing thing so far.

'I have noticed that Ritsuko-chan has caught that bearded bastard's eye,' Ritsuko read. 'I don't know what sort of person my daughter is attracted to, but I sure hope that she doesn't make the same mistake I did. I must warn her, hopefully I'll be able to see her tonight.'

"I must do something to avenge Mother," Ritsuko decided as she lit up a cigarette and smoked it tip to butt in a minute flat. "And I need to make him suffer after what he said to me."

The blonde saw that even though her mother, an intelligent woman in everybody's opinion, knew that something was major was about to occur in her relationship and was unable to prevent it from happening. If she didn't want to end up as a "suicide", she needed an insurance policy, and soon.

Time was running out fast, with Gendo's paranoia generating the order for Maya to start learning the procedures for the maintenance and upgrades for the MAGI.

Ritsuko's eyes flicked down to the bottom of the screen and read her mother's last entry.

'I think that I have a way to ensure that I won't be disposed of. If I can add a bug to the MAGI's OS that will require me to fix it, Gendo will need to keep me around. He may not be the best I've had, but does it get lonely around here. If I'm wrong about having the time to sort this, I hope that whoever reads this will see that Gendo pays for his arrogance and treatment of women.'

Ritsuko nodded in agreement at that point. "The MAGI would be a logical place to start, but how can I start that with Maya being in close proximity at the moment?"

Scrolling down again, she saw that there was hope for her plan.

'I thought that I might need to work on the MAGI at home, but Gendo and Fuyutsuki would never allow me remote access. A security risk, they called it.'

"That's true," Ritsuko agreed with the old men's appraisal. "That's why there's no remote access to the MAGI."

'Well, I've got a nice surprise for them. I added a remote access feature in case I ever needed to migrate any data. You can use this feature to change some of the core OS on the fly if you know what you're doing.'

"Mother, you're a genius," Ritsuko smiled when she saw that her plan had a good chance of working. When she saw the password for the remote access, she frowned. "Mother, you may be a genius, but your sense of humour is shocking."


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At school, Rei was keeping her fellow pilots under observation. She knew that Captain Katsuragi had been ordered to investigate the situation at Dr. Akagi's apartment, and that the search had revealed nothing untoward at the moment. She also knew that the Commander made it his purpose to know everything that could affect his plans for Instrumentality and was preparing a verbal report in the event that she was asked for one.

Shinji was looking at the messages on his screen from his two friends.

"Are you really going out with the Devil?" was Kensuke's. "Can we come over to see you and Misato-san?" was Touji's.

"No", was the answer to both questions that he typed a reply to them, inadvertently sending their conversation to the rest of the class.

Hikari frowned when she saw Touji's question.

Kensuke typed back another question. "Who was that in the car with you this morning?"

"That was Ritsuko-san. I'm staying at her apartment for the time being," Shinji typed back.

"You're shacking up with another older woman?" Kensuke blurted out from his desk. "Is Misato-san not enough for you?"

"Aida-kun, what is it that's so important that you have to interrupt my lesson?" the teacher asked from the blackboard.

"N-n-nothing, Sensei," Kensuke stammered.

"Oh, I think that it is, young man. Now why are you disrupting my lesson?" the teacher demanded. "No-one is leaving this classroom until I get my answers."

"Sensei?" Hikari ventured, rising from her seat.

"I'm tired of the disrespectful attitude that some of the members of this class have," the teacher's voice was almost at the point of anger. "You will show me the respect I deserve. What is such a monumentally important development that warrants the futures of everyone in the class being placed in jeopardy?"

Kensuke swallowed. "Well, Ikari has moved."

"And?"

"And we think he might be going out with Sohryu," Kensuke revealed in a sheepish voice.

"So the fact that Mr. Ikari has changed his residence and may be dating a fellow student is cause for such a disruption?" the teacher asked sarcastically. "Now why would this be the case? Has he moved in with Miss Sohryu?"

"No," Kensuke pushed his glasses up his nose, "he actually moved out of the apartment that Sohryu was staying in."

Shinji tried to shrink away from the attention that the class was sending his way.

"And so because Mr. Ikari is now no longer living under the same roof as Miss Sohryu, this is a cause for concern? I don't think so."

"But he moved in with an older woman," Kensuke insisted.

"He was living with an older woman before, a Miss Katsuragi, I believe," the teacher countered. "So is Ikari-kun's new roommate a child molester or violent maniac?"

"Dr. Akagi has never tried to do anything like that to me," Shinji spoke up for the first time in the lesson.

"And Sohryu is the violent maniac," Kensuke got in a cheap shot at the redhead.

Asuka glared daggers at the military otaku.

"I see. So then, Mr. Aida, why would the dating arrangements of the rest of the class bother you?" the teacher asked with a mocking tone.

"I'm not interested in the Devil!"

"I'm assuming that you mean Miss Sohryu, when you say 'the Devil'. But does that mean that you are more interested in Mr. Ikari?"

The class laughed at the bespectacled boy's protestations that he was straight.

"Well, now that we've cleared up why the world seems to revolve around Mr. Ikari, perhaps I can continue my lesson?"


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After school, Shinji was approached by Rei.

"Ikari-kun," the blue haired girl started, "I wish to know more about the situation between you and Dr. Akagi."

Shinji looked slightly confused. "Ayanami-san?"

"Why did you agree to stay with Dr. Akagi? Was it to avoid more physical abuse from Pilot Sohryu?"

"Ritsuko-san insisted," Shinji replied, slightly defeated by his admission.

The pilots met up with Asuka at the gates, the redhead strangely silent, though her bag seemed to have some scuff marks on it.

"Are you engaging in a sexual relationship with Dr. Akagi?" Rei continued her questions as they walked to NERV headquarters.

"N-no," Shinji blushed.

"Has anyone made any advances like that towards you?"

"No," Shinji answered, shying away from the blue haired girl slightly.

"Are my questions are making you uncomfortable, Ikari-kun?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It feels weird talking about that sort of thing to you, Ayanami-san," Shinji tried to explain.

"I do not understand why, we are the same age and you have seen me naked," said a slightly puzzled Rei. "Perhaps if I was to see you naked, you would be more comfortable discussing sexual matters with me?"

Shinji's face became as red as Unit-02.

Asuka stepped in front of the other pilots. "What the hell is wrong with you, First?"

"I do not understand what you mean, Pilot Sohryu."

"I'm talking about you trying to get into his pants," Asuka huffed. "He's a wimp at the best of times but you keep trying to bed him like you're some kind of drunken frat-boy."

"I am not making sexual advances towards Ikari-kun, Pilot Sohryu," Rei insisted. "I am attempting to find out Dr. Akagi's motivation for moving in Ikari-kun to her apartment."

"By asking him to strip off in front of you?" Asuka asked incredulously. "He's cute, but I wouldn't ask him to do that."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Asuka realised what she'd just said. "Oh shit."

'Asuka thinks I'm cute?' Shinji mulled the thought through his head over and over again.

"That just slipped out," Asuka protested as she saw the look on Shinji's face. "Besides, you're nothing compared to Kaji!"

"I disagree, Pilot Sohryu," Rei countered. "While Ikari-kun lacks the physical maturity of Kaji-san, he has shown himself to be honest and without an ulterior motives. Something that cannot be said about Kaji-san."

"Kaji is just an international man of mystery," Asuka clutched at a verbal straw.

When Rei failed to respond, Asuka smiled and led the way to their destination.


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At NERV headquarters, Misato was grumbling about the fact that Asuka hadn't taken out the trash that morning, thus missing the collection for a week.

"Perhaps you could try living like a responsible adult for once, Misato," Ritsuko smirked. "You can't rely on a live-in housekeeper."

Misato shot her friend a dirty look, before sighing. "I know what you mean, but when do I have time?"

"Well, you could spend less time drinking."

"Ha ha," the purple haired woman laughed, "that's funny. Seriously, what am I going to do about keeping my place tidy?"

"You could get Kaji to tell Asuka to keep the place tidy or he won't come over to visit," Ritsuko offered.

"That's a fantastic idea!" Misato decided with a snap of her fingers. She quickly departed to find the unshaven man.

As Ritsuko sighed in exasperation at her old friend's antics, Maya entered the control room with two cups of coffee.

"Sempai?"

"Ah, Maya. Are you ready for the Sync Test?"

"Yes, Sempai," Maya nodded happily as she handed her mentor a cup of coffee.


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In the test chambers, Shinji was confused by conversation he had on the journey into work. She said that she thought he was cute. That was, he decided, a good thing. However, she quickly stomped on his feelings with the follow up comment of "he's nothing compared to Kaji".

Rei's defence of him was also confusing. And why was Rei asking those questions? Did she find him attractive? Was she also comparing him to other potential boyfriends? He certainly found the pale skinned girl attractive, but something just felt odd when he tried to see Rei in a romantic scenario. He just couldn't put his finger on it.


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Rei sat in her test pod, reflecting on possible romantic combinations that involved Shinji. The idea that the quiet boy would be happy with such a loud girl seemed wrong. As did the notion of Shinji and Dr. Akagi. When her mind turned to the idea of Misato being Shinji's mate, visions of the young Ikari in bound servitude to clean up after the purple haired woman entered her head.

Others options were considered and discarded, herself included. But what irritated her was the fact that she couldn't provide a valid argument for her dismissal from the Shinji Ikari love match game.


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Kaji, cornered by Misato, was listening to the Captain's request.

"Asuka's not doing her share of the chores," Misato pouted, "I think she would if you told her that you won't visit if the place is a mess."

"I'll do it if you promise me that you'll go on a date with me, Misato-chan," Kaji bargained.

Misato's mind worked out the pros and cons of the deal. 'Maybe I can convince Ritsuko or Maya to go instead and I can get out of the date.'

"Ok."

"Fantastic, Misato-chan, I'll tell her when she's done with her Sync Test," Kaji smiled at his ex.


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Asuka sat in her test plug, forcing her mind to focus on Kaji. She know that it would be much better to focus on synchronising with her Eva, but when she thought about it, the fact that Shinji was also a pilot entered her head and from there, her mind wandered and led to the idea that Shinji was her trophy boyfriend.

That's when she started to panic.

"Where the Hell did that come from?" she demanded an answered from the test equipment.

"¬Asuka?¬" Ritsuko asked over the comm. system.

"What?" the redhead asked irritably.

"¬You asked where something came from. What are you referring to?¬"

"Nothing. My mind as just wandering," Asuka answered, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. "Let's get this test with so we can go home."


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To be continued...

This chapter was written in about 8 hours and pre-read by Chi Vayne.

Are there any questions?

Until laterer comes.