FicWad

Sausages, It was a Tuesday


By Lord Raa


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Chapter 13


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Disclaim-me-do: I would like to point out that Lady Rei and Pervert Rei are two different (Out Of) characters.


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Gendo opened the door to the room where Rei was waiting. He stood with the light behind him, casting a silhouette over the pilot's near motionless form.

"Rei, you are no longer to associate with the Third Child outside of official NERV operations," the bearded man informed the quiet girl.

"Why?"

"Because your association is now interfering with Instrumentality."

Rei did not respond verbally, but Ikari could clearly see that his favourite pilot was not pleased with his declaration.

"I will not tell you again."

"Yes, sir."


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As Misato told the pilot to contact NERV and tell them that they were making an emergency landing, Keel Lorenz was reviewing the latest report he had received from Ryoji Kaji with the other members of the SEELE council.

"It seems that Ikari is unable to satisfactorily control things. What's the best course of action?" the man in the visor asked.

"He knows the project better than anyone," a man to the left of Lorenz noted. "I think it would be a mistake to eliminate him at this stage. We should send in another spy to extract more data from the NERV systems before it's too late."

There were murmurs of agreement around the table.

Lorenz had a question, though. "Who would make the best target for your operative?"

"I think that the Third Child would make a suitable choice. He should be easily swayed with an application of feminine wiles, if Ikari's scheme went according to plan."

"What about the plan to cut power to the Geo Front?" a man with a large nose asked. "Ikari and the others would be suspicious if we sabotaged them after we send in our agent."

"True. We shall postpone the sabotage until we can be more confident in Ikari's controls over NERV. Meeting adjourned."


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Gendo sat in his office, his stony features not betraying his rage at the actions of three of his puppets.

"What are Rei's memories of Pilot Ikari?" Gendo asked his former teacher.

'Are you still unable to call your son by his name?' Fuyutsuki thought. "I don't know exactly, but I don't think that they were dating."

Gendo frowned at the flippant remark, the first public display of his anger since the destruction of the "spares".


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Misato drove herself and Asuka to NERV headquarters with her normal efficiency, making the redhead thankful for seatbelts.

"Damn Misato, I know that we're in a hurry," Asuka grumbled.

"I don't see you getting us here so quickly," Misato countered.

"We would have been here sooner if you hadn't said no to the VTOL."

"But then we wouldn't have the chance to sneak around, now would we?" Misato smiled with an exaggerated sweetness.

Asuka shot Misato a dirty look before getting out of the car.


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Gendo Ikari was still not happy with the situation surrounding the First Child.

"It seems that I must discipline both Pilot Ikari and Dr. Akagi," the bearded man decided.

Fuyutsuki frowned slightly. "Are you sure, Ikari?"

"I think that the stick, rather than the carrot, is the best way to teach them that disobedience is foolhardy."

"And how do you intend to administer this 'suitable' punishment?"

"By speaking with both of them at the same time," Gendo announced.


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Four armed Section Two personnel stood at the door to Shinji's cell.

"Pilot Ikari?" the first one asked.

"Yes?" Shinji replied with a submissive tone, knowing that something was wrong.

"You are to come with us. Stand up."

"Yes, sir," Shinji replied when he saw the drawn pistol.

As he was led out like a condemned man, Shinji's thoughts turned to his sister. 'Will she be ok?'

"This way, Pilot Ikari," the Section Two agent instructed.


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At the same time Shinji was being led to an interrogation room, Ritsuko was also being collected. This time the men in black suits were led by Kaji.

"Come on Ritsuko-chan, we haven't got all day."

"You just want to be finished so you can flirt with Misato. Who, by the way, is not planning on going out with you anytime soon."

Kaji sighed. "You know that it's only a matter of time before she gives in to my charms, Ritsuko-chan."

"I do. And that just goes to show that there's no helping some people," Ritsuko snidely commented as she made her way out of the holding cell.


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Gendo himself paid Rei another visit, hoping that it would not be necessary to "re-educate" Rei at this stage. Had his whining son and NERV's filthy whore not made Rei decide to destroy the clones, he would have had this Rei eliminated and replaced.

"Rei, stand up and come with me," the Commander ordered.

"Yes, sir."


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As the three groups entered the interrogation room, Gendo ordered the Section Two operatives to leave the room. He told them that since they were all restrained, he was in little danger.

After the door closed, Gendo turned to other occupants in the room. "Now that we have some privacy, we can have a little chat. You are hereby ordered to stay at least 500 metres away from each other except for official NERV operations. Do you all understand?"

"But what about Shinji-kun? He needs a place to stay!" Ritsuko protested.

"He can move back in with Captain Katsuragi," Gendo replied coldly.

"You can't expect him to live in that abusive environment!"

"I expect him to do his job: fight the Angels. If can't even do that, then I have no use for him."

Even Rei was taken aback by this new level of aloofness from someone who was supposed to be a father.

"But living with Captain Katsuragi has had a detrimental effect in Shinji-kun's ability to pilot in the past," Rei countered.

"He will learn to deal with it, or he will die in battle. It is as simple as that," Gendo told the room.

Shinji, distraught as he was, noted that his father was talking about him like he wasn't even there.

"How can you say such things?" Ritsuko shrieked at the callous man.

Gendo snorted in amusement.

"You're his father, aren't you?" the blonde asked, standing up.

Gendo's backhand across Ritsuko's cheek resonated throughout the room with a loud slap.

"Know your place, you stupid whore."

Shinji couldn't believe that this man would hit a defenceless woman like that and charged at the bearded abuser, hoping to knock him down with a shoulder barge.

Gendo was surprised that his son would react like this, but was able to shrug off the assault as his son lacked the momentum to put his surprise attack to good use. Lifting the enraged boy up and throwing him to the floor, he saw a good opportunity to enforce his authority.

"Is that the best you can do? You really are pathetic!" the Commander shouted as he started to kick the boy on the floor in the ribs.

Rei, now shaken out of her stunned state, stood up to intervene. She hoped to put an end to the physical abuse her brother was receiving from his father.

"Commander?"

"Silence," Gendo cut Rei's attempt off with an elbow to the temple. It drew blood.

After a half dozen kicks, Gendo grabbed the sobbing pilot by the throat and slapped him around the face a couple of times. This was followed up with a few punches to the torso.

Throwing Shinji against the wall, Gendo decided to really put the hurt on his son.

"I'll get you for ruining my plans!" he shouted as he started to stomp on Shinji's knees.

Now Shinji was screaming in agony as the cartilage in his knees started to tear and the bone began to crack.

Before Gendo could say anything else, the door swung open to reveal a pistol armed Misato Katsuragi with a serious look on her face.

"What?!" Gendo demanded, his feet raised above Shinji's face, the shoes splashed with blood.

It was all Misato could do not to empty the clip into the Commander's face there and then.

Instead she shot him in each leg twice, making sure to hit the kneecaps.

Grabbing her phone, she called for medical assistance.

"Are you alright, Shinji-kun?" the purple haired woman asked the sobbing pilot.

Shinji said nothing as he latched on his former guardian.

"I'll make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else, Shinji-kun," Misato said in her most soothing voice.

Section Two agents, led by Kaji arrived with the medical personnel.

"What happened here?" Kaji asked his former lover.

"I saw the Commander kicking the shit out of Shinji-kun," Misato answered. "Take a look at Rei and Ritsuko, will you?"

The unshaven man looked and saw the bruise forming on Ritsuko's cheek and the trickle of blood on Rei's right temple.

"Shit," the man cursed as he searched his pockets for a cigarette.

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To be continued...

This was pre-read by Chi Vayne, though for some reason, most of the omake was written before the bulk of this chapter.




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Omake 1


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"Hi, I'm Mana Kirishima, how do you do, Shinji?"

Before Shinji could answer, Rei interrupted.

"I personally like to be on top when I do Shinji-kun," Rei answered, misinterpreting the girl's greeting. She noticed the funny looks she was getting from the rest of the room's inhabitants. "What?"

Shinji just looked at his shoes with a red-face.

"Oh-kay," Mana said, taking a small step away from the blue haired girl.


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Omake 2


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Asuka was again complaining that Shinji wasn't nearly as manly as Kaji.

"He's just a boring boy!" the redhead insisted.

"That is unfair," Rei countered, "Shinji-kun has not yet had the life experience to pick up the advanced sexual techniques that Kaji-san knows."

"What?" Asuka shrieked at the blue haired girl. "Have you done it with Kaji?"

"No. But I have spoken with Captain Katsuragi," Rei explained. "She mentioned that she and Kaji spent a considerable amount of time engaging in sexual intercourse."

"Oh," Asuka deflated slightly.

"I wish to take steps to rectify this," Rei said. "If Shinji-kun was familiar with the advanced erotic practices would that improve your opinion of him?"

"I don't see why not," Asuka shrugged.


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Omake 3


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Misato answered her front door. "Can I help you?" she asked the courier.

"I have a parcel for a Mr. P. Pen, can you sign for it?"

"Yeah," Misato shrugged. As she moved the box inside, she noticed the air holes. "Weird."

Pen-pen waddled up as the door was closed. "Wark?"

"Oh hi, Pen-pen, this came for you."

Opening the box, the purple haired woman was surprised to see another penguin.

"Wark?" the warm water penguin questioned the new arrival.

"Waaark," the sinister looking waterfowl replied.

"Is there something I'm missing?" Misato asked the aquatic birds.

The two penguins turned to face Misato and gave the best evil grins that they could muster with their beaked faces.

"Oh crap."

"Waaark!" the birds chorused.


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Several days later, an exhausted Misato was found in her apartment by a trio of concerned pilots.

"What happened here?" Shinji asked as he handed the woman a glass of water and a beer chaser.

Misato seemed to smile at the memory of the last few days.

"Woo, Misato?" Asuka waved her hand in front of the semi-naked woman's face.

"Sorry. Pen-pen had a visitor and they ended up showing me the French Flipper Trick. What am I saying? It's not something that you kids should know about!"

"Pen-pen said that Feathers McGraw used that technique to seduce Commander Ikari's mother," Rei noted.

"I can see why, it worked a treat." Misato's smile unnerved the three pilots.

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Omake 4


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Gendo Ikari was still not happy with the situation surrounding the First Child.

"It seems that I must discipline both Pilot Ikari and Dr. Akagi," the bearded man decided.

Fuyutsuki frowned slightly. "Are you sure, Ikari?"

"I think that the stick, rather than the carrot, is the best way to teach them that disobedience is foolhardy."

"And how do you intend to administer this 'suitable' punishment?"

Gendo opened the bottom left draw of his desk and pulled out a plain cardboard box. "With this."

"What's that, Ikari?"

"A 15 inch black rubber cock. I'll use it to smack them around a bit."

"I don't want to know why you have one of those in your desk, Ikari," Fuyutsuki said, stepping away from the bearded man.

"You never know when you're going to need a sex toy," Gendo explained. "What?"


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No Lord Shinji omake this time, because I don't want to repeat ideas for the spin-off.

Until laterer comes.