"Hey Ron, I have a question," Hermione said one night in Gryffindor common room.
"Go on," Ron said.
"Do you smoke?" she asked.
"Why'd you ask that?" he asked back.
"Well, I'd never marry a man who smokes," she said a matter of factly.
"Oh, so now you wanna marry me," he teased.
"That depends. Are you asking?" she teased back.
Ron was shocked. "Uh. Ok. Will you---" he started to say.
"---no," she replied curtly.
Realization hit him and he smiled. "Oh, I get it," he said, a huge grin on his lips. "You want the works doncha. The huge rock girls drool over?"
"You know me too well," she said, shaking her head, smiling.
"Yes I do, and that's the scary part," chuckled Ron.
"Hey!" Hermione protested.
Ron quickly kissed her on the cheek and she returned to smiling happily.
"Ok, fine. You want the stupid rock, you got the stupid rock," he said, shrugging his shoulders, a smile playing on his lips. Ron slowly kneeled on the floor in front of his girlfriend.
"You HAVE one?!" Hermione gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.
Ron smiled. "I had it for six months." Hermione shrieked.
"Now hun, will you please stop squealing and squeezing the life out of me so I can properly ask you? I thought I was proposing to my GIRLFRIEND, not a pig..." he muttered.
Hermione unstuck herself from him and asked indignantly, "Are you implying that I'm FAT?"
Ron sighed. "No hun," he said obediently. "God, Hermione. That was way out of context. Are you quite done yet? Can I ask you to marry me now?" he said impatiently.
Hermione crossed her arms. "No, you may not. Say sorry first for saying I was fat."
"I did NOT say you were---" he said exasperatedly. He stopped talking immediately after Hermione glared at him.
"Ok, ok. SORRY," he said to her. To himself he mumbled, "I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this... Do I really want to spend my whole entire life---"
"'whole entire' is redundant, Ron" Hermione automatically corrected. He glared at her.
"---with a woman so insecure?" he finished.
"Oh, so now I'm insecure," she asked menacingly. "Look who's talking. You're the one who---"
"---was about to ask you to marry me. Why is it so hard to do that???" he asked the ceiling.
"Can I PLEASE ask you now?" Ron asked, a little desperately.
He sighed. "I'll talk now, ok?"
"I'm gonna ask you a question and you're gonna be a good little know-it-all and answer it, ok?"
"Ok, here I go." He exhaled deeply.
"Hermione, I don't smoke, I promise."
"Will you marry me?" he asked solemnly.
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