FicWad

'The lights are too dim,' The woman noted as her friends brought her a Sex on the Beach. 'How the hell are we supposed to see who we're even talking to when it's so damn dark?' Kim Smith was an ordinary woman. She had an ordinary job, and had an ordinary life. What she lacked was an ordinary boyfriend. She was a sophisticated woman of twenty-five; though her friendsoften said she was well into her forties. That isn't to say she was unattractive; far from it. She had beautiful long auburn hair (though it was usually pulled into a tight bun), and lovely full rosy lips (that were usually pulled as tight asher hair), not to mention stunning green eyes (normally hidden behind serious steel-rimmed glasses). She worked out in her fitness club three times a week, and her figure showed it. It was a wonder why she didn't have a man. That is, until one got to know her.

She was over-zealous at work, and stayed past ten more times than she could count. She had lately turned down offers from her friends to hang out and get a drink. That was why she was so surprised they remembered her birthday, and even MORE surprised they decided to throw her a party. She hadn't been enjoying herself too much so far. The alcohol hadn't been strong enough, and the atmosphere too dull, even for her. Now some schmuck had messed with the lights, turning them down too low for her to see the grinning faces of her giggling friends. What was so funny, she couldn't grasp, but...

"What the hell is that noise?" She asked suddenly, taking off her glasses. "It's getting loud, someone turn it off." The noise turned out to be a loud pumping techno, to which Kim grimaced. "Ugh, come on girls... can't we just relax a little-"

She stopped before her mouth uttered the next words, for before her stood a stern looking cop. His muscular arms were crossed in front of his chest, and he looked very displeased with the commotion around him. His uniform seemed to practically burst at the seams as he put a whistle in his mouth and blew three times. By now, Kim was very much afraid. Her eyes travelled from his broad torso to his nightstick, which had remained sheathed. His voice practically boomed as he stood in front of the birthday girl, scowling.

"Ma'am, are you aware of how loud your music was playing?" Kim felt fear strike her as she shook her head, mouth open slightly. 'Why me?'

"Officer, I-"

"And how much of a fine that will be, for disturbing the peace?" Kim shook her head again, eyes wide.

"Really, I don't want trouble,my friendsjust-"

"Wait, trouble? She says she doesn't want trouble, Vegeta!" The man grinned at his newly arrived partner. A smaller (but seemingly built) man smirked and shook his head.

"Well she picked the wrong night to have a party, didn't she Piccolo?" The man called Vegeta shook his head and walked over to his larger partner. "What should we do, eh? Let her off with a warning?"

"Not a chance." Kim's words dried in her throat as the music started pumping again, this time excessively loud. Her hand almost flew to her mouth as she looked to the two 'officers'. Piccolo had begun to grin again while nodding his head to the music, all while unbuttoning his shirt in time with the beat. Vegeta had thrown off his hat and was loosening his belt, a sinister look on his face.

Kim stumbled backwards amid her cheering friends. One grabbed her arm and yelled above the music. "You didn't think we'd let you do something lame for your big 25th, did ya?" Kim didn't have time to reply, for a hand had grabbed her and pulled her into the centre of attention. That's right- exactly into the middle of the now shirtless 'cops'. The larger one grinned and winked at her, reaching for his 'night stick'. Kim realized that it was merely a prop, and giggled when the man pretended to act disappointed, shaking his head and steadily hitting the stick against his palm.

"Ma'am, I'm not sure if you know it's a crime to have such practices at your home. I'm going to have to ask you to step to the wall, and keep your hands where I can see them." His voice seemed oddly low, despite the thumping music, though Kim could hear him fine. His words sounded sultry in her ears, which she blamed on the alcohol. As she looked to her friends, she noticed them snickering in her direction. 'They probably didn't think I could handle this. Well, I'll show them.' Kim grabbed the hat from the tall man's head and spun it on her finger, smiling saucily. "Officer, do your worst."

-

"Jesus, man. That was... Jesus." Piccolo looked over to his 'partner', who was currently smoking a cigarette and cooling down. Vegeta looked as out of breath as Piccolo felt. Things had gotten a little crazy at that woman's party. The duo had ended up staying two hours past schedule, due to popular demand. Piccolo grinned and ran a hand over his smooth head. Sometimes it was the quiet ones that got really feisty.

"You can say that again. Man, did you see how scared that chick was at first? She thought we were really going to arrest her or something."

"She sure as hell wasn't scared later. Damn." Piccolo took the cigarette away from Vegeta and shook his head. "I thought you quit." He took a quick drag from it and put it out in the ashtray on the table, letting the smoke curl out of his mouth a moment later.

"So did I." Vegeta laughed and pointed to Piccolo. "And so did you, once upon a time."

Piccolo shrugged and smiled. "I DID quit. Just on nights like these... I'm beat, you know?" Both men were sitting in their casual clothes at the reclining room of their company. They had both come back completely spent, sweating and panting for air. After a quick shower, Vegeta was still riding high, while Piccolo had managed to calm himself.

Usually theirs nights were pretty regular. Come, put on a show, get the hostess a little drunk, and then leave again. Tonight, she had wanted to talk. Piccolo personally hated the talkers. The alcohol loosened tongues, but when the tongues were used for speaking...it usually just ended up being annoying. Vegeta felt the same way he did.

Piccolo sighed and got up, sticking his hand out. Vegeta gave him the keys to his car and stood up too, stretching slightly. It was a ritual. One would drink with the guests, the other would pretend to, for the sake of having a driver later. They switched every other time. Last time Piccolo had been so hammered that Vegeta had to practically pry him away from the guests to go clock back in. It had been a fun night, with horny women, lots of booze, and no talkers. Vegeta was a bit sore that he himself had to drive that night, to which Piccolo merely grinned and said, 'Luck of the draw.'

Piccolo tossed his jacket on and waited for Vegeta to struggle to do the same. His coordination was always a bit off after drinking. After a few moments he came to the door, grin plastered in place. "The girl was hot, though."

"Yeah she was." Piccolo grinned, remembering how the woman had practically ripped off her own clothes when he had performed the standard 'up against the wall' act. The woman had later confided in Piccolo that she normally didn't act like she had. She explained that her friends thought she didn't know how to have a good time. 'Proved them wrong, didn't I?' She had giggled as she sipped her third shot in a row, shirt almost completely unbuttoned. Piccolo merely grinned at the memory, shaking his head.

"I bet you anything she would have slept with one of us, she was so drunk."

"Please. She was about five inches taller than you." Piccolo loved teasing Vegeta about his size, because it pissed him off so much.

"Oh yeah? Well... you, you just wait! Yeah, one of these days, I'm going to bag me one..."

"Are you talking about one with or without AIDS? Just curious." Piccolo smirked, getting a weary scowl from Vegeta.

"Please. You are just jealous because Tina wanted to screw me, not you." Tina 'Big Tits' Thomas was a constant discussion of various strippers at 'Aces Wild', the 'strip headquarters' so to speak. Tina was one of the more 'generous' of the strippers, and was renowned for doing a lot of unpaid services. Vegeta and Piccolo constantly debated about Tina. Tonight's topic was nothing new.

"Tina is such a dude. Look, man. Fake tits, almost as tall as me, deep voice..." Piccolo pushed the elevator door button and waited for Vegeta's reply as the lift travelled to their floor.

"Shut up! Lots of chicks get their tits done. And she just has an athletic build..."

"And her voice?" Piccolo loved playing this game of 'spot the transvestite.' The elevator made a soft 'ding' sound as the silver steel door slid open, allowing the men into the plush lift.

"Many people think it's sultry and erotic!" Vegeta almost yelled, making Piccolo chuckle more. The light of the elevator floor was almost to one when Piccolo finally spoke again.

"Whatever. I overlooked one key fact that PROVES Tina is a dude."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Vegeta practically stumbled of the doors as Piccolo gave him a light shove.

"She let you into her pants, didn't she?" Piccolo let out a playful yelp as Vegeta threw his shoe at him, missing by a mile. "Hey, no hitting the driver."

-

Piccolo sat down with a sigh of relief in his favourite chair and took a sip of his water. The night had been a long one, and he had done his job well. He needed no words of encouragement; cheers were enough. Not to mention the fat tips the satisfied customers gave him. Still, working regular nights (instead of special events only) was what Piccolo did with most of his working hours. The house would fill up completely with celebrating women, all looking to have a good time. He knew that one day it would get old. The certain thrill would be gone, as would his youth...

But that was quite a way along the road. He was barely breaking twenty-two, and had a while to decide when his night job needed to be extinguished.