Categories > Celebrities > Good Charlotte > Get Mine, Get Yours
01 I Learned from the Best
1 reviewJoel Combs is the football captain loved by everyone. Well, almost everyone. Benji Madden couldn't stand the sight of him at first, but things changed. The past was rocky, but who's to say that the...
0Unrated
Author: Strings393
Fiction Title: Get Mine, Get Yours
Chapter Title: 01 I Learned From the Best
Pairing: Benji/Joel
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, BDSM, Twincest
Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Reference
Summary: Joel Combs is the football captain loved by everyone. Well, almost everyone. Benji Madden couldn't stand the sight of him at first, but things changed. The past was rocky, but who's to say that there aren't blue skies after the storm? SEQUEL TO WICKED TICKLES. AU/BDSM/Twincest.
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything except the plot. The title, /Get Mine, Get Yours/, is the title of a Christina Aguilera song off her album /Stripped/.
Days without Benji turned into months and the months into nearly a year. Our senior year of high school had come and it felt almost as if it had snuck up on us. Senior year is supposed to be the most memorable year of high school, but I didn't want to remember it. I was still a wreck from the previous year, though I hid it well. Part of me loved Benji regardless of how short a time we were together for, but most of me hated him for what he did to me.
I sat at my desk listening to my teacher drone on about trigonometry. I hated math because I didn't understand it. I always got answers wrong and failed tests. Math just brought down my GPA and every year, the football coach would scold me about it and threaten to cut me from the team. He and I both knew that if he did that, the team wouldn't be as good, so instead, he settled for making me run around the block of the school three times. I'd take off at a run and as soon as I knew I was out of his sight, I'd walk the rest of the way.
Once, when I was taking one of my runs, I passed Benji and his friends sitting on one of the benches in the park just behind the school. He looked like hell. Lately, he had been coming to school with messed up hair and smelling slightly of body odor, but not so much that you'd be compelled to stay five feet away from him at all times. I heard that his family wasn't doing so well after his dad left. I had also heard that he took on a job to help out his mom financially; whether it was true or not was beyond me.
I looked at the clock and sighed, watching as the second hand ticked past the nine and then snapped back on it, only to do the same thing again. Damn school clocks were so fucking cheap. What the hell/ was this guy going on about?/ I thought as I looked at my teacher with tired eyes. It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open; every time I meant to blink, my eyelids were getting the message to stay down. My head started to droop down and the next thing I knew, I felt this total state of relaxation come over my body.
I woke up about an hour later to the bell ringing; freedom had come as I headed to my locker for a quick pit stop. Kids I knew saw me and tried to start conversations with me; some just waved at me as they made their way for the parking lot to go home. By the time I got to my locker, I was alone. I loved my friends, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wondered if having so many was a blessing or a curse.
"Joel!" someone exclaimed and leaned up against the lockers next to mine. Without even having to look, I knew it was Trent.
"Hey Trent." He started babbling about some amazing play the Steelers made the night before the Super Bowl. I shut my locker and looked at him as he was staring dreamily at the ceiling, reminiscing in the memory.
"You should have seen it." he finished.
"Don't you ever get sick of football?" I asked. He laughed and looked at me as if I were putting him on.
"What?"
"Don't you ever get sick of football?" I repeated. "I'm sick of playing it, talking about it, thinking about it. Football, food, and sex is all we ever talk about." I sighed. "Don't you want to talk about something else? Like music, or cars, or how our days were or something?" Trent started laughing again.
"I think someone's been mixing up steroids with estrogen pills." he joked.
"You know I don't touch that shit." I snapped. I just wanted someone I could actually talk to again whether they were a friend or not.
"I know you don't, man. I was just kidding." he said, amusement turning to worry. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just sexually frustrated I guess." I lied, making my way to my car. "I'll call you later." I shouted over my shoulder to him. When I was outside, someone else had called my name and when I looked to see who it was an acknowledge them, I bumped into someone.
A pretty blonde girl wearing paint-stained overalls and carrying three pails of paint tried catching the top one that was about to fall off her pile. I jumped to catch it as well and fixed it so it wouldn't topple over again.
"I'm so sorry." I said as I helped her. "I wasn't looking where I was going at all."
"It's fine. That happens a lot."
"I'm Joel Combs."
"Erica Becker." she replied. "I'd shake your hand, but mine are pretty full."
"Do you want some help with those?"
"No thanks," she said with a smile. "I've got it." I moved out of her way and watched her walk into the building before I continued my route to the car. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Benji and his friends lounging on the grass as they usually do, but today Benji saw me and jumped up to follow me to my car.
"Hey Joel! I haven't seen you around, man." he said, trying to get me to look at him. I looked over at the Staff Parking to avoid his gaze. "Don't be like that, Joel."
I squinted against the sun as I unlocked my car and opened the door.
"Joel?"
I tossed my bag into the passenger seat and slid into the car.
"Don't be like this."
I closed the door and started the engine. As I pulled out of the parking space, I saw him run his hands through his hair and drop them to his sides in frustration. He's not your problem anymore, Joel. I told myself. A bit down the highway, a car pulled up next to me in the wrong lane. I looked over to see that Trent was driving and one of his friends was hanging out the window. I rolled down my window so I could hear him.
"Do you want to do something tonight?" he asked.
"I can't. My mom's sick." I shouted back. He told Trent and Trent signaled that he got it before he sped off to his house. I rolled my window up and turned on the radio.
I didn't really have anything to do for my mother, but I didn't want to hang out with his friends either. At a particularly long stop light, I decided that I didn't want to go home, so I took the next turn lane and found the fastest route to the park. After finding a nice patch of grass, I laid down and stared at the clouds floating above me, thinking about everything that had been bothering me. God knows how long I was there for. Dusk was starting to set in when Erica, the blonde from school, laid down next to me.
"It's kind of surprising to see you here." she said with a smile. I looked over at her in curiosity.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Every other day or so, I come to the quieter side of the park and do yoga and meditate. I saw you as I was finishing up the meditation bit and decided to come say hi."
"So how come I've never seen you around before?"
"You have a lot of friends, Joel. I'm not surprised you didn't see me among the masses. I'm new this year as well, so that's another reason."
"I understand completely. I always feel bad when I can't meet new faces because I'm too busy keeping up with the old ones." There was a short silence between us. "So is there a boyfriend in the picture or is it just you?" She laughed.
"It's just me. I'm so caught up in school work that guys get too depressed that I'm not paying enough attention to them." I looked over at her.
"Blonde, beautiful, and smart; this must be my lucky day." I teased. "What do you say to coffee this weekend? Ten in the morning?" She smiled.
"You're on." I got up and helped her up as well, only to brush grass off the both of us.
"It's getting late now, but I'll see you tomorrow. I'll get your number when I actually have a pen on me." She grinned and nodded, returning the wave I gave her as I headed for my car.
***
School wasn't a place I hated, unlike most other kids. I liked it because I had friends there, good friends, and some of them were even my teachers. After I found Erica, I introduced her to my core group of friends and her and Meg seemed to have hit it off really well; as it turned out, Erica wanted to be on the cheering squad. I draped my arm around her shoulders and felt her return my touch by wrapping her arm around my waist. Smirking to myself, I tuned back into the conversation my friends were having which was, to no surprise of mine, about sex and football.
"Watching the Super Bowl and having a quickie every other commercial; that would be the best Sunday of my life." Trent exclaimed, giving one of his friends a high five. He tried to get one from me, but I returned it half heartedly. I would have left, but I had no where better to go; sure I have a lot of friends, but none of them had as much in common with me as my main friends did.
"What about you, Joel?" Trent's friend asked. I met him only five minutes ago and I've already forgotten his name.
"I'm sorry?" I asked. "I spaced."
"What would your best fuck be?" I sighed.
"You all realize that we sound like virgins talking like this." I said.
"You mean you're not?" Meg asked.
"I'm a teenage boy in my senior year of high school, Meg." Trent jumped up and down in excitement.
"Oh man! Why didn't you tell me?!" he exclaimed.
"Because it's not something I shout about." I replied.
"Who'dya tap?" he asked, hitting my shoulder. "Come on! Who did you bone?"
"I'm not going to drop names, you asshole."
"Well if you're not going to tell us who, then tell us what it was like." I rolled my eyes.
"The first time was gentle, obviously, and after that, it was hard, rough sex."
"Rough sex as in like, just hard fucking? Or do you mean like all that freaky shit?" Trent asked. I paused.
"Can you define 'freaky shit' please?"
"Like, with all the toys and getting tied down. That shit. What's that called again?"
"Bondage?" I asked. "Yeah, it was bondage." Meg laughed and hit my arm playfully.
"I didn't know you were a freak, Joel." she said with a smirk.
"Me neither." I replied. "But it was good."
"So were you the one tied down or what?" Trent's friend asked.
"We took turns."
"Did you ever get whipped?" he asked.
"A few times, yeah, and before you ask, yes I liked it. Pain really is pleasure." Trent jumped up and down again laughing.
"Joel's a freak! Oh man...this is some good shit."
"And none of you are going to say anything or I'll pull in resources that'll pull out your teeth." I threatened. They all nodded.
"Nothing leaves this circle." Trent said with a smile. I looked over at Erica who looked to be enjoying herself, which brought a smile to my face.
At the end of the day, we exchanged numbers and promised to meet up at Bick's Coffee House downtown.
***
I showed up at Bick's before Erica did, so I snagged a table by the window and looked around the shop. It looked the same since the last time I was there, but this time, there was a familiar knot of kids standing by the station where you cream and sugar in your coffee. I looked above them at the menu to decide what I wanted to get and tried to ignore the kids. As they were leaving, Benji stopped when he saw me.
"Joel? What are you doing here?" he asked. I looked him up and down quickly; he looked worse than yesterday.
"I could ask you the same question." I replied. He gave me that damn half grin that I used to love about him and pulled a sugar packet out of his pocket.
"It's Sarah's birthday and Mama wanted to bake a cake for her." he said, waving the packet slightly and then pocketing it again. "We had enough money to spare for most of the ingredients; the only ones we're lacking are sugar and butter. We're off to the bagel shop around the corner for the butter." I felt a pang of guilt hit me, but Benji smirked. "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like the Welfare people look at me and Sarah." he replied with that same stupid, forced optimistic smile. He knew his family was doing badly, but he was sure that he could fix it. I felt so bad for him.
Before I could reply to what he said, Erica walked in. I jumped up and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and pulled out a chair for her to sit down.
"I didn't mean to intrude on you two." she said. "I'm sorry." I shrugged with a grin.
"He was just leaving anyway."
"That I was." he said, forcing another smile and heading for the door. He threw me a hurt glance before he left and I brushed it off. He ruined it for himself. I got the coffee and sat down in my seat, giving her a cup which she took gratefully.
"So tell me all about the amazing Joel Madden, star of the football team, most popular boy in school, and then tell me why he would take any interest in an art freak like me." I laughed and shrugged.
"Well..." I started.
***
I pulled into my driveway after dropping Erica off. We had spent the whole day together and, in my opinion, were really hitting it off. As I was walking up the driveway to the front door, I heard a familiar voice behind me; "So who was she?" I spun around and saw Benji sitting on the edge of the driveway in the shadows, tearing up blades of grass.
"A girl." I replied. He nodded and tore up another blade.
"So things are going pretty good for you." he said. I nodded stiffly. "Listen Joel..."
"I'm really tired, Benji." I interrupted. He stopped mid-sentence and nodded again.
"Right. Sorry. So I'll see you around then." I shrugged and went to my room where I threw down my stuff.
"You can't let him get to you, Joel!" I whispered to myself. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and closed my eyes. How did you get so far away? I mentally asked myself. I sighed and took off the hot, nasty shirt I had been wearing all day and heard a tap at my window. I paused with the shirt in my hand and looked at it for a few seconds. Thinking it was just my imagination, I started to undo my belt. I heard the tap again. I went over to my window and opened it.
"I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry before I left." Benji called up to me. I sighed.
"You know I can't believe that, Benji."
"I'm not lying about this."
"I really don't want to talk to you."
"Now look who's lying."
"Well then I learned from the best, didn't I?" I retorted without much energy. I closed my window and shut my curtains again to finish changing into close more suitable for sleep.
***
Wooing Erica proved to be easier than I thought it would be. We were fucking within the second week of unofficially dating. She didn't even notice Victoria, Ashley, Allie, Trish, and even Mark, Harry, Steven, and so on. None of them noticed to be honest and I'm not sure how I pulled that off, but I did. I didn't even know why I was doing it.
I was hanging out with Trent, Greg, and Meg in our usual spot after school when I saw Benji motion for me to go over to him from behind Greg. I ignored him and went on with my conversation with Trent. "Patriots own over the Seahawks." he said. I nodded.
"But the Steelers own over the Patriots." I said.
"Fuck off, Combs."
"You have the worst case of denial I've ever seen, Trent." He flicked me off in response and all I could do was laugh. "You know you wish you could, bitch." I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Benji standing there. Today was one of the days he looked like hell with his faded eyeliner and limp spikes and the faint smell of body odor.
"I need to talk to you."
"Fuck off, man." I said.
"No. I really need to talk to you."
"Benji...go away, man. I've got nothing to say to you, okay?" I went to turn back to my friends, but Meg stopped me.
"Talk to him, Joel. He looks really troubled." she said. I shrugged.
"That's his problem." She looked surprised.
"Joel! You never pass someone up if they have a problem. Not even Greg."
"Greg wouldn't come to me with a problem anyway." Greg nodded in agreement.
"Just talk to the kid." she said as she nudged me to him. "If you don't, I won't let you hear the end of it." I groaned and turned back to Benji who was giving Meg a look of thanks.
"Come on, Joel." he said. I followed him to the edge of the parking lot and folded my arms across my chest.
"What?" I asked.
"I heard Zack talking about you, man."
"What did he say?"
"He's saying that you're with him and that you fuck him. I heard Ricky saying the same thing. What are you doing, man?" I shrugged.
"I don't know."
"Don't make my mistakes, Joely."
"I don't get you Benji. I really don't get you. First you say you don't give a fuck and now you're watching my back like my god damn mother. What is the deal with you?" I hissed.
"I can't talk about it here."
"When can you talk about things, Benji? Can you even talk about things?" I paused and shook my head, fed up with him and all the drama he's causing me. "You're such a pussy."
"I'm the pussy?" he asked.
"Yeah, you're the pussy." I replied.
"You're a fucking hypocrite." Benji snarled.
"How am I a hypocrite?"
"You're running just as scared as I am! You're living the life I did and making the same stupid fucking mistakes I did! You're acting like I did when I broke your heart! That's how!"
"Shut up." I spat.
"You're lying to yourself, Joel. You don't have the heart to do that to all those people." he said. "You're going to overwhelm yourself and it's going to bite you in the ass."
"I'm not the liar here."
"Now you're just as much of a liar as I am." Without another word, he turned and walked away. I stood there for a few minutes watching him go. Was I really just like him now? Of course. I was doing exactly as he had done. I went back to my friends and grabbed my stuff saying quick goodbyes to them. When I got back to my car, I threw my shit in the back and pulled out of the parking lot. I took the back roads and saw Benji starting to walk home. I slowed my car to a crawl just like I did when we first met.
"Get in." I said.
"I thought you didn't want to talk to me."
"Get in the damn car, Benj." I said. He stopped and got in the car. I picked up my normal speed and headed for his house. "So what's your deal, man? What's up with you?"
"Don't worry about it. I'm not worth your time." I took a turn down his road and soon turned into his driveway. I sighed and leaned my head back on the headrest.
"Grab some clothes and you can come shower at my house." He stared at me for a second before doing just that. He came back with something else though, a piece of paper.
"Shit." he whispered. I glanced at the paper, but couldn't quite make out what it said.
"What is it?" I asked.
"We just got evicted." he muttered. He cursed quietly to himself and it looked like tears were forming in his eyes. There was the Benji that I found so hard to turn down; my Benji.
"If you need a place to stay, my house is free." He shook his head.
"My aunt lives not too far from here. Just...let me get that shower and I'll be out of your hair. I know I probably smell."
"Not that bad." I said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood, but failing miserably. He just averted his gaze to the window and sighed.
"I knew this was going to happen." he whispered. I pulled out of his driveway and headed for mine.
***
Before he hit the showers, Benji pulled me in my room to talk. "So what's really going on with you and all these people, Joel?" he asked.
"I honestly don't know, Benji. Go take your shower."
"Just know that I'm truly sorry for what I did to you."
"Take your damn shower, man. You reek." I said, forcing a small laugh. I turned my back on him and started to busy myself with something - anything - other than our conversation. When I heard the door shut behind me, I let out a sigh and tears sprang to my eyes. "He's no good, Joel." I whispered to myself. "You can get through this."
I cleared my throat and started to work on my homework to pass the time. I was just finishing up my Chemistry when he reappeared in my room fumbling with some bracelets. I put my homework down and got off my bed. "Let me help you with those." I said, walking over to him. He snatched his arms close to him and shook his head.
"No thanks. I've got it." he said. I grabbed one of his arms and pulled it towards me.
"Don't be such a stubborn ass." He struggled again and I just stared at him, hand firmly clasped around his wrist. "What the hell is your problem? I'm just trying to help..." I started, but faded out when I actually looked down at his arm. Wounds covered the length of his arm; some new and some old scars, but there nonetheless. I grabbed the other wrist and saw the same thing. He snatched his arms away and held them close to him. "Benj...baby, what are you doing to yourself?" I asked, my throat tightening with every word. He wanted to die and I didn't even know.
"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."
"Nothing? Benji! You're trying to kill yourself! Why?"
"Joely, listen to me, okay?" I nodded. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. I'm fine." He snapped on the last of his bracelets and forced a smile for me. "Besides, we're not here about me, we're here about you. Pretend like you never saw what you did and don't say anything to anyone." No words could make it past the tightness in my throat. /Please don't die/, my mind cried to him. I tried to blink away the tears, but was failing miserably. "I've said all I needed to say, Joely. I'll see you around."
He left my room and there was nothing I could do to stop him. My body was in full shock shutdown mode. Poor Benji.
Fiction Title: Get Mine, Get Yours
Chapter Title: 01 I Learned From the Best
Pairing: Benji/Joel
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, BDSM, Twincest
Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Reference
Summary: Joel Combs is the football captain loved by everyone. Well, almost everyone. Benji Madden couldn't stand the sight of him at first, but things changed. The past was rocky, but who's to say that there aren't blue skies after the storm? SEQUEL TO WICKED TICKLES. AU/BDSM/Twincest.
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything except the plot. The title, /Get Mine, Get Yours/, is the title of a Christina Aguilera song off her album /Stripped/.
Days without Benji turned into months and the months into nearly a year. Our senior year of high school had come and it felt almost as if it had snuck up on us. Senior year is supposed to be the most memorable year of high school, but I didn't want to remember it. I was still a wreck from the previous year, though I hid it well. Part of me loved Benji regardless of how short a time we were together for, but most of me hated him for what he did to me.
I sat at my desk listening to my teacher drone on about trigonometry. I hated math because I didn't understand it. I always got answers wrong and failed tests. Math just brought down my GPA and every year, the football coach would scold me about it and threaten to cut me from the team. He and I both knew that if he did that, the team wouldn't be as good, so instead, he settled for making me run around the block of the school three times. I'd take off at a run and as soon as I knew I was out of his sight, I'd walk the rest of the way.
Once, when I was taking one of my runs, I passed Benji and his friends sitting on one of the benches in the park just behind the school. He looked like hell. Lately, he had been coming to school with messed up hair and smelling slightly of body odor, but not so much that you'd be compelled to stay five feet away from him at all times. I heard that his family wasn't doing so well after his dad left. I had also heard that he took on a job to help out his mom financially; whether it was true or not was beyond me.
I looked at the clock and sighed, watching as the second hand ticked past the nine and then snapped back on it, only to do the same thing again. Damn school clocks were so fucking cheap. What the hell/ was this guy going on about?/ I thought as I looked at my teacher with tired eyes. It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open; every time I meant to blink, my eyelids were getting the message to stay down. My head started to droop down and the next thing I knew, I felt this total state of relaxation come over my body.
I woke up about an hour later to the bell ringing; freedom had come as I headed to my locker for a quick pit stop. Kids I knew saw me and tried to start conversations with me; some just waved at me as they made their way for the parking lot to go home. By the time I got to my locker, I was alone. I loved my friends, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wondered if having so many was a blessing or a curse.
"Joel!" someone exclaimed and leaned up against the lockers next to mine. Without even having to look, I knew it was Trent.
"Hey Trent." He started babbling about some amazing play the Steelers made the night before the Super Bowl. I shut my locker and looked at him as he was staring dreamily at the ceiling, reminiscing in the memory.
"You should have seen it." he finished.
"Don't you ever get sick of football?" I asked. He laughed and looked at me as if I were putting him on.
"What?"
"Don't you ever get sick of football?" I repeated. "I'm sick of playing it, talking about it, thinking about it. Football, food, and sex is all we ever talk about." I sighed. "Don't you want to talk about something else? Like music, or cars, or how our days were or something?" Trent started laughing again.
"I think someone's been mixing up steroids with estrogen pills." he joked.
"You know I don't touch that shit." I snapped. I just wanted someone I could actually talk to again whether they were a friend or not.
"I know you don't, man. I was just kidding." he said, amusement turning to worry. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just sexually frustrated I guess." I lied, making my way to my car. "I'll call you later." I shouted over my shoulder to him. When I was outside, someone else had called my name and when I looked to see who it was an acknowledge them, I bumped into someone.
A pretty blonde girl wearing paint-stained overalls and carrying three pails of paint tried catching the top one that was about to fall off her pile. I jumped to catch it as well and fixed it so it wouldn't topple over again.
"I'm so sorry." I said as I helped her. "I wasn't looking where I was going at all."
"It's fine. That happens a lot."
"I'm Joel Combs."
"Erica Becker." she replied. "I'd shake your hand, but mine are pretty full."
"Do you want some help with those?"
"No thanks," she said with a smile. "I've got it." I moved out of her way and watched her walk into the building before I continued my route to the car. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Benji and his friends lounging on the grass as they usually do, but today Benji saw me and jumped up to follow me to my car.
"Hey Joel! I haven't seen you around, man." he said, trying to get me to look at him. I looked over at the Staff Parking to avoid his gaze. "Don't be like that, Joel."
I squinted against the sun as I unlocked my car and opened the door.
"Joel?"
I tossed my bag into the passenger seat and slid into the car.
"Don't be like this."
I closed the door and started the engine. As I pulled out of the parking space, I saw him run his hands through his hair and drop them to his sides in frustration. He's not your problem anymore, Joel. I told myself. A bit down the highway, a car pulled up next to me in the wrong lane. I looked over to see that Trent was driving and one of his friends was hanging out the window. I rolled down my window so I could hear him.
"Do you want to do something tonight?" he asked.
"I can't. My mom's sick." I shouted back. He told Trent and Trent signaled that he got it before he sped off to his house. I rolled my window up and turned on the radio.
I didn't really have anything to do for my mother, but I didn't want to hang out with his friends either. At a particularly long stop light, I decided that I didn't want to go home, so I took the next turn lane and found the fastest route to the park. After finding a nice patch of grass, I laid down and stared at the clouds floating above me, thinking about everything that had been bothering me. God knows how long I was there for. Dusk was starting to set in when Erica, the blonde from school, laid down next to me.
"It's kind of surprising to see you here." she said with a smile. I looked over at her in curiosity.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Every other day or so, I come to the quieter side of the park and do yoga and meditate. I saw you as I was finishing up the meditation bit and decided to come say hi."
"So how come I've never seen you around before?"
"You have a lot of friends, Joel. I'm not surprised you didn't see me among the masses. I'm new this year as well, so that's another reason."
"I understand completely. I always feel bad when I can't meet new faces because I'm too busy keeping up with the old ones." There was a short silence between us. "So is there a boyfriend in the picture or is it just you?" She laughed.
"It's just me. I'm so caught up in school work that guys get too depressed that I'm not paying enough attention to them." I looked over at her.
"Blonde, beautiful, and smart; this must be my lucky day." I teased. "What do you say to coffee this weekend? Ten in the morning?" She smiled.
"You're on." I got up and helped her up as well, only to brush grass off the both of us.
"It's getting late now, but I'll see you tomorrow. I'll get your number when I actually have a pen on me." She grinned and nodded, returning the wave I gave her as I headed for my car.
***
School wasn't a place I hated, unlike most other kids. I liked it because I had friends there, good friends, and some of them were even my teachers. After I found Erica, I introduced her to my core group of friends and her and Meg seemed to have hit it off really well; as it turned out, Erica wanted to be on the cheering squad. I draped my arm around her shoulders and felt her return my touch by wrapping her arm around my waist. Smirking to myself, I tuned back into the conversation my friends were having which was, to no surprise of mine, about sex and football.
"Watching the Super Bowl and having a quickie every other commercial; that would be the best Sunday of my life." Trent exclaimed, giving one of his friends a high five. He tried to get one from me, but I returned it half heartedly. I would have left, but I had no where better to go; sure I have a lot of friends, but none of them had as much in common with me as my main friends did.
"What about you, Joel?" Trent's friend asked. I met him only five minutes ago and I've already forgotten his name.
"I'm sorry?" I asked. "I spaced."
"What would your best fuck be?" I sighed.
"You all realize that we sound like virgins talking like this." I said.
"You mean you're not?" Meg asked.
"I'm a teenage boy in my senior year of high school, Meg." Trent jumped up and down in excitement.
"Oh man! Why didn't you tell me?!" he exclaimed.
"Because it's not something I shout about." I replied.
"Who'dya tap?" he asked, hitting my shoulder. "Come on! Who did you bone?"
"I'm not going to drop names, you asshole."
"Well if you're not going to tell us who, then tell us what it was like." I rolled my eyes.
"The first time was gentle, obviously, and after that, it was hard, rough sex."
"Rough sex as in like, just hard fucking? Or do you mean like all that freaky shit?" Trent asked. I paused.
"Can you define 'freaky shit' please?"
"Like, with all the toys and getting tied down. That shit. What's that called again?"
"Bondage?" I asked. "Yeah, it was bondage." Meg laughed and hit my arm playfully.
"I didn't know you were a freak, Joel." she said with a smirk.
"Me neither." I replied. "But it was good."
"So were you the one tied down or what?" Trent's friend asked.
"We took turns."
"Did you ever get whipped?" he asked.
"A few times, yeah, and before you ask, yes I liked it. Pain really is pleasure." Trent jumped up and down again laughing.
"Joel's a freak! Oh man...this is some good shit."
"And none of you are going to say anything or I'll pull in resources that'll pull out your teeth." I threatened. They all nodded.
"Nothing leaves this circle." Trent said with a smile. I looked over at Erica who looked to be enjoying herself, which brought a smile to my face.
At the end of the day, we exchanged numbers and promised to meet up at Bick's Coffee House downtown.
***
I showed up at Bick's before Erica did, so I snagged a table by the window and looked around the shop. It looked the same since the last time I was there, but this time, there was a familiar knot of kids standing by the station where you cream and sugar in your coffee. I looked above them at the menu to decide what I wanted to get and tried to ignore the kids. As they were leaving, Benji stopped when he saw me.
"Joel? What are you doing here?" he asked. I looked him up and down quickly; he looked worse than yesterday.
"I could ask you the same question." I replied. He gave me that damn half grin that I used to love about him and pulled a sugar packet out of his pocket.
"It's Sarah's birthday and Mama wanted to bake a cake for her." he said, waving the packet slightly and then pocketing it again. "We had enough money to spare for most of the ingredients; the only ones we're lacking are sugar and butter. We're off to the bagel shop around the corner for the butter." I felt a pang of guilt hit me, but Benji smirked. "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like the Welfare people look at me and Sarah." he replied with that same stupid, forced optimistic smile. He knew his family was doing badly, but he was sure that he could fix it. I felt so bad for him.
Before I could reply to what he said, Erica walked in. I jumped up and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and pulled out a chair for her to sit down.
"I didn't mean to intrude on you two." she said. "I'm sorry." I shrugged with a grin.
"He was just leaving anyway."
"That I was." he said, forcing another smile and heading for the door. He threw me a hurt glance before he left and I brushed it off. He ruined it for himself. I got the coffee and sat down in my seat, giving her a cup which she took gratefully.
"So tell me all about the amazing Joel Madden, star of the football team, most popular boy in school, and then tell me why he would take any interest in an art freak like me." I laughed and shrugged.
"Well..." I started.
***
I pulled into my driveway after dropping Erica off. We had spent the whole day together and, in my opinion, were really hitting it off. As I was walking up the driveway to the front door, I heard a familiar voice behind me; "So who was she?" I spun around and saw Benji sitting on the edge of the driveway in the shadows, tearing up blades of grass.
"A girl." I replied. He nodded and tore up another blade.
"So things are going pretty good for you." he said. I nodded stiffly. "Listen Joel..."
"I'm really tired, Benji." I interrupted. He stopped mid-sentence and nodded again.
"Right. Sorry. So I'll see you around then." I shrugged and went to my room where I threw down my stuff.
"You can't let him get to you, Joel!" I whispered to myself. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and closed my eyes. How did you get so far away? I mentally asked myself. I sighed and took off the hot, nasty shirt I had been wearing all day and heard a tap at my window. I paused with the shirt in my hand and looked at it for a few seconds. Thinking it was just my imagination, I started to undo my belt. I heard the tap again. I went over to my window and opened it.
"I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry before I left." Benji called up to me. I sighed.
"You know I can't believe that, Benji."
"I'm not lying about this."
"I really don't want to talk to you."
"Now look who's lying."
"Well then I learned from the best, didn't I?" I retorted without much energy. I closed my window and shut my curtains again to finish changing into close more suitable for sleep.
***
Wooing Erica proved to be easier than I thought it would be. We were fucking within the second week of unofficially dating. She didn't even notice Victoria, Ashley, Allie, Trish, and even Mark, Harry, Steven, and so on. None of them noticed to be honest and I'm not sure how I pulled that off, but I did. I didn't even know why I was doing it.
I was hanging out with Trent, Greg, and Meg in our usual spot after school when I saw Benji motion for me to go over to him from behind Greg. I ignored him and went on with my conversation with Trent. "Patriots own over the Seahawks." he said. I nodded.
"But the Steelers own over the Patriots." I said.
"Fuck off, Combs."
"You have the worst case of denial I've ever seen, Trent." He flicked me off in response and all I could do was laugh. "You know you wish you could, bitch." I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Benji standing there. Today was one of the days he looked like hell with his faded eyeliner and limp spikes and the faint smell of body odor.
"I need to talk to you."
"Fuck off, man." I said.
"No. I really need to talk to you."
"Benji...go away, man. I've got nothing to say to you, okay?" I went to turn back to my friends, but Meg stopped me.
"Talk to him, Joel. He looks really troubled." she said. I shrugged.
"That's his problem." She looked surprised.
"Joel! You never pass someone up if they have a problem. Not even Greg."
"Greg wouldn't come to me with a problem anyway." Greg nodded in agreement.
"Just talk to the kid." she said as she nudged me to him. "If you don't, I won't let you hear the end of it." I groaned and turned back to Benji who was giving Meg a look of thanks.
"Come on, Joel." he said. I followed him to the edge of the parking lot and folded my arms across my chest.
"What?" I asked.
"I heard Zack talking about you, man."
"What did he say?"
"He's saying that you're with him and that you fuck him. I heard Ricky saying the same thing. What are you doing, man?" I shrugged.
"I don't know."
"Don't make my mistakes, Joely."
"I don't get you Benji. I really don't get you. First you say you don't give a fuck and now you're watching my back like my god damn mother. What is the deal with you?" I hissed.
"I can't talk about it here."
"When can you talk about things, Benji? Can you even talk about things?" I paused and shook my head, fed up with him and all the drama he's causing me. "You're such a pussy."
"I'm the pussy?" he asked.
"Yeah, you're the pussy." I replied.
"You're a fucking hypocrite." Benji snarled.
"How am I a hypocrite?"
"You're running just as scared as I am! You're living the life I did and making the same stupid fucking mistakes I did! You're acting like I did when I broke your heart! That's how!"
"Shut up." I spat.
"You're lying to yourself, Joel. You don't have the heart to do that to all those people." he said. "You're going to overwhelm yourself and it's going to bite you in the ass."
"I'm not the liar here."
"Now you're just as much of a liar as I am." Without another word, he turned and walked away. I stood there for a few minutes watching him go. Was I really just like him now? Of course. I was doing exactly as he had done. I went back to my friends and grabbed my stuff saying quick goodbyes to them. When I got back to my car, I threw my shit in the back and pulled out of the parking lot. I took the back roads and saw Benji starting to walk home. I slowed my car to a crawl just like I did when we first met.
"Get in." I said.
"I thought you didn't want to talk to me."
"Get in the damn car, Benj." I said. He stopped and got in the car. I picked up my normal speed and headed for his house. "So what's your deal, man? What's up with you?"
"Don't worry about it. I'm not worth your time." I took a turn down his road and soon turned into his driveway. I sighed and leaned my head back on the headrest.
"Grab some clothes and you can come shower at my house." He stared at me for a second before doing just that. He came back with something else though, a piece of paper.
"Shit." he whispered. I glanced at the paper, but couldn't quite make out what it said.
"What is it?" I asked.
"We just got evicted." he muttered. He cursed quietly to himself and it looked like tears were forming in his eyes. There was the Benji that I found so hard to turn down; my Benji.
"If you need a place to stay, my house is free." He shook his head.
"My aunt lives not too far from here. Just...let me get that shower and I'll be out of your hair. I know I probably smell."
"Not that bad." I said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood, but failing miserably. He just averted his gaze to the window and sighed.
"I knew this was going to happen." he whispered. I pulled out of his driveway and headed for mine.
***
Before he hit the showers, Benji pulled me in my room to talk. "So what's really going on with you and all these people, Joel?" he asked.
"I honestly don't know, Benji. Go take your shower."
"Just know that I'm truly sorry for what I did to you."
"Take your damn shower, man. You reek." I said, forcing a small laugh. I turned my back on him and started to busy myself with something - anything - other than our conversation. When I heard the door shut behind me, I let out a sigh and tears sprang to my eyes. "He's no good, Joel." I whispered to myself. "You can get through this."
I cleared my throat and started to work on my homework to pass the time. I was just finishing up my Chemistry when he reappeared in my room fumbling with some bracelets. I put my homework down and got off my bed. "Let me help you with those." I said, walking over to him. He snatched his arms close to him and shook his head.
"No thanks. I've got it." he said. I grabbed one of his arms and pulled it towards me.
"Don't be such a stubborn ass." He struggled again and I just stared at him, hand firmly clasped around his wrist. "What the hell is your problem? I'm just trying to help..." I started, but faded out when I actually looked down at his arm. Wounds covered the length of his arm; some new and some old scars, but there nonetheless. I grabbed the other wrist and saw the same thing. He snatched his arms away and held them close to him. "Benj...baby, what are you doing to yourself?" I asked, my throat tightening with every word. He wanted to die and I didn't even know.
"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."
"Nothing? Benji! You're trying to kill yourself! Why?"
"Joely, listen to me, okay?" I nodded. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. I'm fine." He snapped on the last of his bracelets and forced a smile for me. "Besides, we're not here about me, we're here about you. Pretend like you never saw what you did and don't say anything to anyone." No words could make it past the tightness in my throat. /Please don't die/, my mind cried to him. I tried to blink away the tears, but was failing miserably. "I've said all I needed to say, Joely. I'll see you around."
He left my room and there was nothing I could do to stop him. My body was in full shock shutdown mode. Poor Benji.
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