FicWad

The large, red demon gave a jeering call of fresh meat as it shoved the skinny young man through the swinging doors. He lay for a stunned minute on the stone floor, then climbed to his shaky feet. The acidic bite of sulfur was less apparent here; there were other smells to contend with - pots and pans muttered quietly over the cooking range and there was even a whole pig roasting slowly inside the black hearth. The young man wiped at his sooty clothes and peered into the steamy air. Sudden movement from the back of the galley brought forth a monstrous figure that looked all at once part man, part woman, and part warthog. The creature strode forward and he could see that it was wearing a large apron that used to be white, but was now smeared with an alarming amount of dark red.

"Name's Mavis, but you can call me Cookie", a gruff voice announced.

A large, flour covered hand was thrust under his nose. Unsure, but unwilling to appear rude to someone who spoke around such large tusk-like teeth; he grasp the appendage.

"Uh...n-nice to meet you, si-ma'am."

The thing wrenched his arm up and down then released him, sending an inscrutable yellow gaze over his thin frame. The young man, feeling more and more like small prey, held as still as possible.

"Welcome to the kitchen," Cookie said with a grand gesture. "I'm head chief here and you, boy, are my brand new apprentice."

Then, as an afterthought: "You're a lot scrawnier than the last one."

The boy stood, swaying lightly. The last thing he remembered was lying down in his favorite spot at the park and then waking up to the smell of smoke and acid and /heat /.

"Adultery, huh?" Her eyes were on his sweaty forehead, reading the bold black letters written there.

"Yanno what we do to adulterers down here, don't ya, boy?"

Cookie had casually plucked a large, silver knife from a belt at her side and was cleaning her fingernails of flour. The yellow eyes on his forehead moved lower and he resisted the urge to move his hands in front of himself.

"But, that's just what I was trying to tell the other guy!" He made frantic gestures towards the door he had been thrown through.

"This has got to be a mistake, I'm not married - I've never even had a girlfriend!"

Cookie threw back her head and roared with mirth.

"A mistake! The bureaucrats upstairs don't make mistakes - sure, maybe it's not your time yet, but you aren't here because of any mistake!"

She gave him a wink and her elbow nudged his ribs in a companionable way that almost knocked him flat.

"You probably just make somebody angry; ever piss in a church graveyard or had naughty thoughts about a nun, boy?" She gave him a speculative stare.

"How 'bout a priest?"

He just sagged against a cupboard, as white as her apron used to be. Cookie shrugged and placed her hand on his neck and led him like a lamb deeper into her lair.

They came to a stop in front of a particularly large pot, which was giving off thick steam. Cookie released the boy and lifted the lid away from the opening, stirring the contents inside with a wooden spoon.

"You're a lucky boy, Adultery." she ignored his frail protests. "This here's the boss's favorite, special stew...and you're gonna learn to make it."

With her gaze on him expectantly, he crept to the pot and peered over. It was thick and brown and there were things floating inside.

"The boss?" he said slowly. "I'd think he would prefer something more...decadent."

"Naw", she thrust the spoon at him. "S'got bad heartburn - taste."

The goop issued a wet, airy noise into his face, but without much choice, he blew lightly on the spoon and pressed his mouth to it. Silence while he drank delicately, Cookie watching from over his bent head.

"This is really good!" he remarked, relieved. "What's so special about it?"

He took another sip.

"It's 'cause I put in a special ingredient you only get from humans."

The boy swallowed thickly. Seeing his face, Cookie laughed again.

"I haven't put the special thing in yet, boy; so don't get your panties in a knot."

She then placed a thick cutting board on the counter in front of him along with several surprisingly normal looking vegetables. The big knife she laid down with utmost care.

"When you're ready to add the special ingredient, you gotta make sure to prepare it properly; the boss hates it if the chunks are too large," she spit, selecting a massive cucumber from the vegetables.

"Right now, you're gonna learn the right way to chop the ingredient by practicing on this here carrot" she told him. He saw his carrot was smaller than her cucumber and a little wilted looking.

"First, you're gonna wanna grasp it like so." She demonstrated and he copied nervously.

"Then -", with a quick, brutal motion her knife came down. "You're gonna nip the tip."

The boy watched in horror as she continued to move her silver blade until the cucumber was a neat pile of evenly chopped pieces.

"There, now you try." She gave him a knife of his own, and it too was smaller but no less sharp. His blade shook over the carrot and he hesitated.

"Well...go on!"

Eyes closed and legs clamped together, the boy set his knife to the vegetable, trying to do it as quickly as possible. He flinched at her large hand on the back of his neck.

"Not bad for your first try!" she told him. "I think we'll use the real thing next!"

She reached out and picked up a box from an overhead shelf; it was made almost exactly like a cigar box. Cookie flipped the clasp and then frowned inside.

"Well, it looks like it's just not your day, Adultery." She showed him the empty box. "I'm fresh out of the special thing. "

With a sigh, she picked her knife up and turned to him.

"Now, don't make that face," Cookie said as she cornered him against the hot range. "It'll only sting at first, and you won't even miss it!"

The poor boy, finally reaching his limit, fainted dead away. Tsking impatiently, Cookie reached down and placed her hand on his abdomen, muttering strange dark words. Removing her hand, she watched as a thick black sausage rose out of his bellybutton. Slicing it free and waving it under her snout, she sniffed.

"Ah, pure terror - smells pretty potent too, just the thing to add some kick to the stew." She told the prone form. Cookie nudged him with a large foot, the whites of his eyes shown and he gurgled.

"I loose more apprentice that way." She complained.