FicWad

Author's Note: Herro, my loved ones! Welcome to the promised AuRikku one-shot: The Chocobo's Pajamas! The origin of this story is as follows: I was sitting in English class and we were discussing grammar, when the phrase "-" came up. (Read the story and you'll know which expression it is. I don't want to spoil it.) Being the uneducated batch of buffoons they are, someone in the class piped up, "What's that mean?" Well, you know my mind is always on Final Fantasy, so I couldn't help but think, "Haha, the chocobo's pajamas". And then I know this had to be written.

Tonight, on the 11 O'Clock News: I'm thinking of rewriting the final chapter of my last AuRikku ficlet, Unresolved Sexual Tension. I dunno, I've gotten mixed reviews, which has caused me to ponder if I'm really happy with it. That sounds stupid but ah well. Tell me what you think, dearies!

Author Alerts and Such: Following this will most likely be some Hot Gimmick ficlets, and I'm trying to concoct a decent plotling for a multi-chapter AuRikku story. (Rejoice!) Other than that, I'm currently praying my friend Yuna - Yes, I call her that in real life. Yes, she calls me Rikku. Sh'up, we're spiffy. - will find our chart that we made in ninth grade (those were the days) of our love hexagon for a very O.C.-like (in level of drama, anyway) story about the characters of FFX-2. Keep your fingers crossed! (Man, that was a lot of brackets.)

BTW: I didn't put a Y warning here because there's only a mention. If you have any indiscretions about it, please tell me.

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X and X-2 and their respective characters, settings, etc. copyright Square Enix. In other words, I (sadly) don't own it. Obv.

*

"The Chocobo's Pajamas"

"What in Spira are those?"

Stepping out of the bathroom, Rikku flicked off the light and looked down at herself. "Um... pajamas?"

Auron regarded her quizzically. "Are those chocobos on them?"

The blonde girl looked down again, examining her sleeve before looking at him oddly. "Yeah... Are you sure you should be wearing those sunglasses? I think they're actually making your vision worse."

The guardian rolled his eyes, mouth set in a thin line. "I can see perfectly fine. That's actually part of the problem."

Rikku shrugged, grabbing a brush off the nightstand and sitting on the edge of the bed, running the bristles through her golden locks. "You don't like them?"

"I would, if perhaps they weren't so terrifying. They look more like chocobo eaters than actual chocobos." Auron had a point. The pajamas were pink, probably a fake silk fabric. All along them was a pattern of bright yellow chocobos, but the birds looked positively ridiculous. Some were sitting, looking rather challenged, while others stood awkwardly with mad eyes. Others still appeared to be slumbering, though it didn't look like a position any living being - besides perhaps contortionists - might sleep in. The graying man scowled.

"Well, I think they're cute," she huffed, continuing to brush her hair and stubbornly avoiding his gaze.

"When did you get them?" he asked. "I've never seen you wear them before."

Again, Rikku shrugged. "I got them in Luca a while back. They were really cheap, and the gil was burning a hole in my pocket."

Auron scoffed. "No wonder they were cheap. They're practically an insult to chocobos."

She stood up and poked him in the chest. "Pardon me, Mr. High-and-Mighty, but you don't see me complaining about your wardrobe."

"Why would you?" He looked down, slightly confused. "It's perfectly practical."

Rikku laughed. "Perfectly practical? More like perfectly ridiculous. You dress like you live on Mount Gagazet. I've never seen anyone wear more layers in my entire life!" she said, flinging herself back onto the bed.

Auron sighed, walking away from her and placing his sunglasses and sake bottle on the nightstand. He gave regarded her frankly. "Why should the amount of clothing I wear concern you, any way?"

"Now there's a stupid question." Rikku rolled her eyes in exasperation, tossing the brush onto a far off sofa. It barely hit its mark. Turning back to Auron, she found he was looking at her questioningly. She gave him an obviously look, sitting up. "More layers are just annoying, okay?"

He scoffed. "And here I was under the impression you were going to say something of value."

Rikku walked over and smacked him in the arm. "Pardon me, Mister, but I have very good reasons!"

"Such as?" he prodded, completely unfazed by her physical assault.

"Well, for one, it looks dumb," she huffed, jutting her hip out to the side and crossing her arms defiantly.

"How so?"

"Well, what's with the arm thing? Do you just keep it there because you're too lazy to use two like the rest of us? Is it broken? Who knows! If you want a sling, I've got one in my pack, but honestly, what's the point?" she ranted, making emphatic hand motions. She soon grew tired of standing still and began pacing in annoyance.

Auron listened to her and couldn't help but smirk, but pulled his arm out his robe to appease her. "Better?"

"Much," she said in a slightly haughty tone.

"What else, then?"

"Well..." she paused, looking at her slippers and seeming uncertain for a few moments.

"Well... ?" he chided.

Rikku coughed something inaudible in response.

"What?" Auron asked. She wheezed once more, even less convincingly than before. He asked her again, and she grew impatient.

"Access!" she yelled, throwing her arms up into the air dramatically. He blinked, but remained silent. She looked away, warmth visibly rising in her cheeks, but her voice held its stubbornness. "Well, how do you think I feel when you can take off my shorts and top in less than ten seconds, and it takes me a good five minutes to remove all your stupid layers? I've assembled and disassembled machine in less time!"

Staring into the corner of the room, a few uncomfortable seconds passed before she heard a gruff laugh. Looking at Auron in shock, she saw him nearly keeled over in a fit of chuckles. "What are you laughing at!" she demanded, offended.

Standing straight, Auron's laughter subsided, though his smile still reached his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize all the trouble I was causing you." He chuckled lightly, grinning madly.

Rikku thought about this for a moment before huffing indignantly, squaring her shoulders, placing her hands on her hips, and generally trying to appear superior. "That's right! So no more layers! From now on it's my road or the Highroad!"

"Whatever you say," Auron conceded with humor in his voice, shaking his head. "Now, about those pajamas..."

She glared at him, pointing accusingly. "I am not getting rid of them, if that's what you're thinking!"

"Oh, no, Yevon forbid," he muttered sarcastically, raising his hands as if under arrest. "Still, I couldn't help think how much better they would look in a heap by the bed." His eyes crackled with mischievousness and lust, a glance he had perfected. He knew it always won her over without fail. It had been proved many times that even headaches supposedly larger than all of Bikanel Desert stepped aside for "the glance".

Rikku blushed, and he knew the cogs of her chipper little mind were working overtime to solve the current equation. He already knew the answer. Fight plus lust equals fun for everyone. She poked him in the chest again, though he could see his desire mirrored in her swirling green eyes even as they glared. "All right, fine, but I get a head start this time!"

Grinning and taking her in his arms, he whispered, "All's fair in love and wardrobes."

*

Epilogue

Much later that night, in a small inn room, two people lay intertwined in a bed.

"So, how was that?" asked a young girl.

"The cait sith's pajamas," said the man, smirking. She playfully jabbed him in the chest.

"I think you mean chocobo's pajamas," she grinned, kissing him lightly before they both drifted off to sleep.