Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > Trust & Betrayal
Part Four: The pain of forgiveness...
0 reviewsOne-shot in 16 parts. Jakotsu and Renkotsu learn the hard way that sake, curiosity and lust don't mix. Even the strongest will shatter when betrayal is involved...
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Part Four: The pain of forgiveness...
FYI: The name "Ren" is of course used as a nickname/shortened form of his name for Renkotsu by the other Shichinintai. However, "Ren" can also be a girl's name that means "water lily..."
Renkotsu swallowed nervously as he walked up to the door of the room he and Suikotsu shared. He stood there trying to think up a thousand apologies for the wrong he had done to the claw-bearer. An image of the look of hurt and betrayal in Suikotsu's eyes flashed through Renkotsu's memory and made his heart feel like a dead weight.
He opened the shoji.
He peered into the room and quickly spotted Suikotsu. It was not hard to do since the claw-bearer was kneeling and using his claws to tear up a wall at the far end of the room growling viciously to himself, "Stupid...little....rude....terrible....not to trust...."
Renkotsu gulped and debated whether to enter or take a walk around the inn and wait for Suikotsu to cool off. The claw-bearer's hair still hung loosely around his shoulders, signaling the violent personality had not yet taken control. He would most likely only get angrier as the day wore on, and might even change personalities and hunt Renkotsu down and take revenge. The fire-breather decided it would be better to get things over with one way or the other now. He entered the room and closed the shoji behind him.
The sound of the door closing attracted Suikotsu's attention. The claw-bearer glared at him with the same look as before only now there was also a fiery rage behind it that made all of the hairs on Renkotsu's body stand on end.
"Fuck off!" The claw bearer snarled, the rage in his eyes growing in intensity. "Oh that's right, I forgot, you're already fucked!"
"Sui...It wasn't..." Renkotsu stumbled, but was cut off when Suikotsu jumped to his feet.
"Wasn't what?! 'Wasn't what it looked like...?!' I know what it looks like! I know what it smells like! And you two were covered in it!" the claw bearer shouted. "What were you thinking?!" Suikotsu suddenly looked panicked. "Do I mean nothing to you!?" The rage was gone from his eyes, leaving only the hurt.
Renkotsu stood paralyzed in shock at what he was seeing and the horrifying realization his intelligence was drawing from it. All three of Suikotsu's personalities had been riled up by this; all three had been hurt and betrayed, because all three of Suikotsu's personalities had loved him. Now they were awake at the same time, each drifting in and out control. Renkotsu had to calm them quickly. Suikotsu's fragile grasp of sanity was two steps away from shattering like a china vase carelessly dropped on the floor.
"Suikotsu..." Renkotsu reached out a hand to gently cup his comrade's cheek, but the claw-bearer slapped it away, the rage returning to his eyes.
"Don't touch me!" The violent Suikotsu emerged and he circled around Renkotsu the way a predator encircles its prey. "You're mine yet you let yourself cater to that little whore!" he shouted as he shoved the fire-breather away from himself into the wall.
"I wanted to learn a painless way to pleasure you!" Renkotsu burst out, not knowing what else to say in this nightmare.
"I never wanted that from you! We never needed it!" the good-extreme side of Suikotsu's tattered mind stared at the fire-breather with sad, pleading eyes that allowed rivers of tears to spill past them. "I thought you knew me! You understood me!"
"Sui...I..." Renkotsu was speechless at how much he had completely misread the situation. Seeing Suikotsu broken and battered like this was horrible, the fact that he had caused it made it unbearable as he slumped against the wall.
"There was one thing my personalities all agreed on: you!" The third Suikotsu narrowed his eyes in anger though none of the sorrow had left them, and the tears kept coming. "It was you!" He lashed out with his claws and embedded them in the wall inches from Renkotsu's head. "I LOVED YOU!"
Renkotsu closed his eyes in an effort to calm himself. He was terribly shaken by how close he had come to death and how much pain he had caused Suikotsu. Now the claw-bearer just stood there, trembling and emitting choked sobs, his head lowered.
"Sui....I know there is nothing I can say to make up for the pain I've caused you," Renkotsu started, his own voice wavering as a lump rose in his throat. "All I can do is try to explain. I...I'm sorry; I was drunk off my ass. I know that's no excuse, but I really wanted to find a way I could comfortably be physical with you. I know there's more to love than just sex... but it is a way to be one with another. I love you Sui, all of you, every last one of you who's hiding in there..." He reached out and gently brushed his fingers against his hurt lover's forehead. This time Suikotsu accepted the touch.
"Kami-sama, help me," Renkotsu pleaded. "My damn brain! Once a question gets into my head, it consumes me... I wanted to see what Bankotsu sees in him, and why he's so hell bent on trying to be something he hates..." The fire-breather took Suikotsu's face in his hands. "Suikotsu, forgive me for my weakness, but if anything, I learned just how special YOU are to me and how I DON'T want to lose you..."
Suikotsu stared at him blankly for a few moments, and jerking his head away from Renkotsu's hands, he removed his claws from the wall. It looked as if he would just walk away when suddenly he collapsed to his knees and wrapped his arms around Renkotsu's waist and buried his head in the fire-breather's abdomen.
"Don't do this again, please don't this again, I can't take it," Suikotsu sobbed. "I don't want to hate you..."
Renkotsu had never felt worse in his life. In one single moment of throwing caution to the wind, he had single handedly reduced Suikotsu to this pathetic, broken state. Not knowing what else to do he curled protectively around his sobbing comrade. "Oh, Kami-sama....What have I done...I wouldn't blame you in the least if you did hate me, Sui... I hate me... I should have never gone over to him. I should have just sat where I was and watched him flirt with everyone who walked past... but noooo, stupid me had to see if he'd turn on the charm with me too... Oh gods... I'm such a shit. I don't deserve your love, Sui..."
Suikotsu's sobs calmed a little now that he was encircled in the warm embrace. "It's too late. You already have it..." he whispered. "Please tell me I still have yours..."
"Of course you do!" Renkotsu lifted up Suikotsu's face to meet his. "I never stopped loving you! I just wanted to know of a special way to show you...and like an idiot I listened to the lil bastard... And I'm sure I could have got the same answer from any other whore..." Suikotsu interrupted him by wrapping his arms around the fire-breather's shoulders, pulling him into a tight embrace.
"I know you still do...I just....I just needed to hear it."
Renkotsu hugged Suikotsu tightly and nodded. "I love you very much..." he whispered in Suikotsu's ear.
Suikotsu closed his eyes and relaxed against him. They held their embrace for a long moment, before Suikotsu opened his eyes, but they were not the same eyes they were before he had closed them. His grip on Renkotsu tightened, his nails imbedding in the skin below the kimono's fabric.
In the blink of an eye, Renkotsu found himself forced down on his back on the floor. Suikotsu grinned maliciously down at the fire-breather, who was now pinned beneath him. "I can't believe those other two fools forgave you so quickly. Well, I will make sure you remember who you belong to..."
"Sui, what...?" Renkotsu stared at his comrade in utter shock. The shock turned to horror when he saw the ravenous look in his teammate's eyes. The claw-bearer's hair began to rise and bunch up from the extra energy coursing through his body. The violent personality had completely taken over. "Sui..." Renkotsu tried to continue, but Suikotsu placed a finger over his lips to silence him.
"Now, now. Just sit back and relax." The claw bearer's sneer grew broader and his hands traveled down to the ties holding Renkotsu's hakama together. "And I'll show you the way to my forgiveness. You said it yourself you wanted a more physical relationship." He loosened the ties quickly.
"Shouldn't...Shouldn't we do this later when the others are asleep?" Renkotsu asked, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.
"Very clever, my little Water Lily, trying to stall me in hopes that my other sides will come back," Suikotsu drawled, his voice sweet like poisoned honey. He shifted his focus back up to Renkotsu's upper body, and his face darkened and his voice grew deadly. "I won't fall for your tricks again." He ripped open the top of Renkotsu's kimono revealing the muscular planes of the fire-breather's chest.
"But the others...If...if we make any loud noises they may come and interrupt us," Renkotsu said quickly.
"You're right, and the pathway to my forgiveness might be a rather loud and painful one," the claw-bearer said thoughtfully as though they were discussing philosophy, then he sneered. "Well, you're just going to have to be strong then." He ran his claws down Renkotsu's torso just lightly enough to not cut the skin. "If you scream like a cowardly pig, then I will gut you like one."
Renkotsu swallowed hard and nodded. "If this is the path to your forgiveness, so be it. Do what you will..."
The sneer on the claw-bearer's face grew broader as he helped free the fire-breather from his kimono. Without warning, the claw bearer flipped him on to his belly and straddled his hips. Renkotsu's heart raced and his breath came in short anxious pants.
"Don't worry...my little water lily..." the claw bearer whispered, trying to sound gentle, but the lust and hunger clearly came forth. "You'll be all right," Suikotsu purred as he rid Renkotsu of his hakama.
Suikotsu ran his hands across the naked form of his would-be lover, careful to not mar the freshly exposed flesh with his claws. There would be time for that later. For now carnal lust was boiling in his blood and it had to be satisfied first and foremost.
Meanwhile Renkotsu lay trembling involuntarily, terrified at what his insane, scorned lover would do. Frantically he tried to remember the steps the monks had used to enter a Zen state where you would lose all conscious feeling in your body. This was all the more amplified when he felt Suikotsu's weight lift off him and he heard the rustle of cloth behind him; Suikotsu was finally ridding himself of the last barrier between himself and the fire-breather.
Every hair on Renkotsu's body stood up on end when he felt Suikotsu's warm body on top of his. In any other circumstance this would have been a welcoming feeling, but now all the fire-breather could feel was terror, all the more magnified when he noticed the claw bearer still had his claws on.
Suikotsu sat back and took hold of Renkotsu's hips to keep them in place. A malicious smirk spread across his face as he made ready to enter.
Renkotsu let out a strangled moan as Suikotsu pushed his thighs apart and penetrated him, none too gently. It was not like that first time when they had taken each other in the forest right after a mission. Then Suikotsu had been very gentle and careful not to hurt him. It was not the case here, the violent soul in Suikotsu's body pounded into his partner not caring if there was pain, in fact it seemed as if the more pain the fire-breather beneath him endured, the better.
Renkotsu gasped and choked in an effort to keep his voice silent. The silent screams translated into stinging tears that slid down his cheeks. A shock of fiery pain radiated through his body with each thrust. It felt as if a stem full of thorns was being shoved inside him again and again and again in a voracious primal rhythm, looking to satisfy its lust as quickly as possible.
You brought this on yourself, you weak fool, Renkotsu reminded himself, trying to focus on anything but the pain. You deserve it. You had it coming the minute you gave into Jakotsu's advances.
He heard the claw-bearer moan and gasp as the peak of his lust took him. Renkotsu could not keep down the flush of shame as he felt a sticky heat explode inside him.
It was over and Renkotsu let out a sigh of relief after a brief surge of pain when Suikotsu withdrew from him and sagged tiredly over his back. He felt Suikotsu's panting breath against the skin where his neck met his back. Then the claw-bearer leaned forward to his lover's ear and whispered in false gentle tones, "And so you'll never forget..."
The steel claws ran across the skin of the Renkotsu's back, this time cutting deep, opening the flesh so it would never truly heal again. Adding yet another mark of chastisement to the former monk's scarred body.
Suikotsu's hand clapped over Renkotsu's mouth as the fire-breather, despite his best efforts, let out a full cry of pain. The throbbing ache he had felt in his lower body from the claw-bearer's ravaging was nothing compared to the feel of the nerves and muscle in his back being torn asunder. The pain was compounded when Suikotsu ran his tongue over the open wounds, tasting the blood of his lover, which felt like sandpaper on the raw lesions to Renkotsu.
Whether by the shock from the pain or the loss of blood, Renkotsu began to see a black fog cloud his vision as he drifted into unconsciousness. Just before his mind went completely blank, he heard the claw-bearer's deep voice whisper one word of comfort, "Forgiven..."
FYI: The name "Ren" is of course used as a nickname/shortened form of his name for Renkotsu by the other Shichinintai. However, "Ren" can also be a girl's name that means "water lily..."
Renkotsu swallowed nervously as he walked up to the door of the room he and Suikotsu shared. He stood there trying to think up a thousand apologies for the wrong he had done to the claw-bearer. An image of the look of hurt and betrayal in Suikotsu's eyes flashed through Renkotsu's memory and made his heart feel like a dead weight.
He opened the shoji.
He peered into the room and quickly spotted Suikotsu. It was not hard to do since the claw-bearer was kneeling and using his claws to tear up a wall at the far end of the room growling viciously to himself, "Stupid...little....rude....terrible....not to trust...."
Renkotsu gulped and debated whether to enter or take a walk around the inn and wait for Suikotsu to cool off. The claw-bearer's hair still hung loosely around his shoulders, signaling the violent personality had not yet taken control. He would most likely only get angrier as the day wore on, and might even change personalities and hunt Renkotsu down and take revenge. The fire-breather decided it would be better to get things over with one way or the other now. He entered the room and closed the shoji behind him.
The sound of the door closing attracted Suikotsu's attention. The claw-bearer glared at him with the same look as before only now there was also a fiery rage behind it that made all of the hairs on Renkotsu's body stand on end.
"Fuck off!" The claw bearer snarled, the rage in his eyes growing in intensity. "Oh that's right, I forgot, you're already fucked!"
"Sui...It wasn't..." Renkotsu stumbled, but was cut off when Suikotsu jumped to his feet.
"Wasn't what?! 'Wasn't what it looked like...?!' I know what it looks like! I know what it smells like! And you two were covered in it!" the claw bearer shouted. "What were you thinking?!" Suikotsu suddenly looked panicked. "Do I mean nothing to you!?" The rage was gone from his eyes, leaving only the hurt.
Renkotsu stood paralyzed in shock at what he was seeing and the horrifying realization his intelligence was drawing from it. All three of Suikotsu's personalities had been riled up by this; all three had been hurt and betrayed, because all three of Suikotsu's personalities had loved him. Now they were awake at the same time, each drifting in and out control. Renkotsu had to calm them quickly. Suikotsu's fragile grasp of sanity was two steps away from shattering like a china vase carelessly dropped on the floor.
"Suikotsu..." Renkotsu reached out a hand to gently cup his comrade's cheek, but the claw-bearer slapped it away, the rage returning to his eyes.
"Don't touch me!" The violent Suikotsu emerged and he circled around Renkotsu the way a predator encircles its prey. "You're mine yet you let yourself cater to that little whore!" he shouted as he shoved the fire-breather away from himself into the wall.
"I wanted to learn a painless way to pleasure you!" Renkotsu burst out, not knowing what else to say in this nightmare.
"I never wanted that from you! We never needed it!" the good-extreme side of Suikotsu's tattered mind stared at the fire-breather with sad, pleading eyes that allowed rivers of tears to spill past them. "I thought you knew me! You understood me!"
"Sui...I..." Renkotsu was speechless at how much he had completely misread the situation. Seeing Suikotsu broken and battered like this was horrible, the fact that he had caused it made it unbearable as he slumped against the wall.
"There was one thing my personalities all agreed on: you!" The third Suikotsu narrowed his eyes in anger though none of the sorrow had left them, and the tears kept coming. "It was you!" He lashed out with his claws and embedded them in the wall inches from Renkotsu's head. "I LOVED YOU!"
Renkotsu closed his eyes in an effort to calm himself. He was terribly shaken by how close he had come to death and how much pain he had caused Suikotsu. Now the claw-bearer just stood there, trembling and emitting choked sobs, his head lowered.
"Sui....I know there is nothing I can say to make up for the pain I've caused you," Renkotsu started, his own voice wavering as a lump rose in his throat. "All I can do is try to explain. I...I'm sorry; I was drunk off my ass. I know that's no excuse, but I really wanted to find a way I could comfortably be physical with you. I know there's more to love than just sex... but it is a way to be one with another. I love you Sui, all of you, every last one of you who's hiding in there..." He reached out and gently brushed his fingers against his hurt lover's forehead. This time Suikotsu accepted the touch.
"Kami-sama, help me," Renkotsu pleaded. "My damn brain! Once a question gets into my head, it consumes me... I wanted to see what Bankotsu sees in him, and why he's so hell bent on trying to be something he hates..." The fire-breather took Suikotsu's face in his hands. "Suikotsu, forgive me for my weakness, but if anything, I learned just how special YOU are to me and how I DON'T want to lose you..."
Suikotsu stared at him blankly for a few moments, and jerking his head away from Renkotsu's hands, he removed his claws from the wall. It looked as if he would just walk away when suddenly he collapsed to his knees and wrapped his arms around Renkotsu's waist and buried his head in the fire-breather's abdomen.
"Don't do this again, please don't this again, I can't take it," Suikotsu sobbed. "I don't want to hate you..."
Renkotsu had never felt worse in his life. In one single moment of throwing caution to the wind, he had single handedly reduced Suikotsu to this pathetic, broken state. Not knowing what else to do he curled protectively around his sobbing comrade. "Oh, Kami-sama....What have I done...I wouldn't blame you in the least if you did hate me, Sui... I hate me... I should have never gone over to him. I should have just sat where I was and watched him flirt with everyone who walked past... but noooo, stupid me had to see if he'd turn on the charm with me too... Oh gods... I'm such a shit. I don't deserve your love, Sui..."
Suikotsu's sobs calmed a little now that he was encircled in the warm embrace. "It's too late. You already have it..." he whispered. "Please tell me I still have yours..."
"Of course you do!" Renkotsu lifted up Suikotsu's face to meet his. "I never stopped loving you! I just wanted to know of a special way to show you...and like an idiot I listened to the lil bastard... And I'm sure I could have got the same answer from any other whore..." Suikotsu interrupted him by wrapping his arms around the fire-breather's shoulders, pulling him into a tight embrace.
"I know you still do...I just....I just needed to hear it."
Renkotsu hugged Suikotsu tightly and nodded. "I love you very much..." he whispered in Suikotsu's ear.
Suikotsu closed his eyes and relaxed against him. They held their embrace for a long moment, before Suikotsu opened his eyes, but they were not the same eyes they were before he had closed them. His grip on Renkotsu tightened, his nails imbedding in the skin below the kimono's fabric.
In the blink of an eye, Renkotsu found himself forced down on his back on the floor. Suikotsu grinned maliciously down at the fire-breather, who was now pinned beneath him. "I can't believe those other two fools forgave you so quickly. Well, I will make sure you remember who you belong to..."
"Sui, what...?" Renkotsu stared at his comrade in utter shock. The shock turned to horror when he saw the ravenous look in his teammate's eyes. The claw-bearer's hair began to rise and bunch up from the extra energy coursing through his body. The violent personality had completely taken over. "Sui..." Renkotsu tried to continue, but Suikotsu placed a finger over his lips to silence him.
"Now, now. Just sit back and relax." The claw bearer's sneer grew broader and his hands traveled down to the ties holding Renkotsu's hakama together. "And I'll show you the way to my forgiveness. You said it yourself you wanted a more physical relationship." He loosened the ties quickly.
"Shouldn't...Shouldn't we do this later when the others are asleep?" Renkotsu asked, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.
"Very clever, my little Water Lily, trying to stall me in hopes that my other sides will come back," Suikotsu drawled, his voice sweet like poisoned honey. He shifted his focus back up to Renkotsu's upper body, and his face darkened and his voice grew deadly. "I won't fall for your tricks again." He ripped open the top of Renkotsu's kimono revealing the muscular planes of the fire-breather's chest.
"But the others...If...if we make any loud noises they may come and interrupt us," Renkotsu said quickly.
"You're right, and the pathway to my forgiveness might be a rather loud and painful one," the claw-bearer said thoughtfully as though they were discussing philosophy, then he sneered. "Well, you're just going to have to be strong then." He ran his claws down Renkotsu's torso just lightly enough to not cut the skin. "If you scream like a cowardly pig, then I will gut you like one."
Renkotsu swallowed hard and nodded. "If this is the path to your forgiveness, so be it. Do what you will..."
The sneer on the claw-bearer's face grew broader as he helped free the fire-breather from his kimono. Without warning, the claw bearer flipped him on to his belly and straddled his hips. Renkotsu's heart raced and his breath came in short anxious pants.
"Don't worry...my little water lily..." the claw bearer whispered, trying to sound gentle, but the lust and hunger clearly came forth. "You'll be all right," Suikotsu purred as he rid Renkotsu of his hakama.
Suikotsu ran his hands across the naked form of his would-be lover, careful to not mar the freshly exposed flesh with his claws. There would be time for that later. For now carnal lust was boiling in his blood and it had to be satisfied first and foremost.
Meanwhile Renkotsu lay trembling involuntarily, terrified at what his insane, scorned lover would do. Frantically he tried to remember the steps the monks had used to enter a Zen state where you would lose all conscious feeling in your body. This was all the more amplified when he felt Suikotsu's weight lift off him and he heard the rustle of cloth behind him; Suikotsu was finally ridding himself of the last barrier between himself and the fire-breather.
Every hair on Renkotsu's body stood up on end when he felt Suikotsu's warm body on top of his. In any other circumstance this would have been a welcoming feeling, but now all the fire-breather could feel was terror, all the more magnified when he noticed the claw bearer still had his claws on.
Suikotsu sat back and took hold of Renkotsu's hips to keep them in place. A malicious smirk spread across his face as he made ready to enter.
Renkotsu let out a strangled moan as Suikotsu pushed his thighs apart and penetrated him, none too gently. It was not like that first time when they had taken each other in the forest right after a mission. Then Suikotsu had been very gentle and careful not to hurt him. It was not the case here, the violent soul in Suikotsu's body pounded into his partner not caring if there was pain, in fact it seemed as if the more pain the fire-breather beneath him endured, the better.
Renkotsu gasped and choked in an effort to keep his voice silent. The silent screams translated into stinging tears that slid down his cheeks. A shock of fiery pain radiated through his body with each thrust. It felt as if a stem full of thorns was being shoved inside him again and again and again in a voracious primal rhythm, looking to satisfy its lust as quickly as possible.
You brought this on yourself, you weak fool, Renkotsu reminded himself, trying to focus on anything but the pain. You deserve it. You had it coming the minute you gave into Jakotsu's advances.
He heard the claw-bearer moan and gasp as the peak of his lust took him. Renkotsu could not keep down the flush of shame as he felt a sticky heat explode inside him.
It was over and Renkotsu let out a sigh of relief after a brief surge of pain when Suikotsu withdrew from him and sagged tiredly over his back. He felt Suikotsu's panting breath against the skin where his neck met his back. Then the claw-bearer leaned forward to his lover's ear and whispered in false gentle tones, "And so you'll never forget..."
The steel claws ran across the skin of the Renkotsu's back, this time cutting deep, opening the flesh so it would never truly heal again. Adding yet another mark of chastisement to the former monk's scarred body.
Suikotsu's hand clapped over Renkotsu's mouth as the fire-breather, despite his best efforts, let out a full cry of pain. The throbbing ache he had felt in his lower body from the claw-bearer's ravaging was nothing compared to the feel of the nerves and muscle in his back being torn asunder. The pain was compounded when Suikotsu ran his tongue over the open wounds, tasting the blood of his lover, which felt like sandpaper on the raw lesions to Renkotsu.
Whether by the shock from the pain or the loss of blood, Renkotsu began to see a black fog cloud his vision as he drifted into unconsciousness. Just before his mind went completely blank, he heard the claw-bearer's deep voice whisper one word of comfort, "Forgiven..."
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