FicWad

He watched him during the sound check; today he was just riveting. He couldn't help himself-he felt like a kid again staring at his first stolen Playboy. He remembered looking at that forbidden centerfold with a rush of emotions coming up to the surface. He remembered feeling hot and excited-then terrified that he'd get caught, but then that was part of the thrill of it.

He finally did look away; it was hard to do, but it had to be done. He didn't want the guys to see him staring lustfully at him. Unfortunately he wasn't quick enough: He got a scolding by his sweet desired one for not paying enough attention to whatever problem was at hand.

That didn't help, so he finally had to walk off the stage for a moment-he had to gather his thoughts. He was right-he wasn't paying attention. It had been years since their last tryst, but he was beginning to think of him more-not just this afternoon.

After the check, he went back to his room, waiting for the show. He tried to occupy his thoughts with ANYTHING else, but it didn't work. He decided to clear his mind with some coffee. He got it ready and flipped the switch.

He caught himself thinking about him again and that last happy night they spent together. It was so incredible-few lovers had ever satisfied him like he had. He was so caring, so perfect. It was a purely magical force between them-no matter what, he would always remember him. With him on his side-nothing could ever stop him. Sure they had their fights, but he knew that they went so deep. They were just words, he didn't mean any of it...

The sound of dripping water snapped him back. 'Water?' He frowned, and saw coffee running down the front of the cabinet. "Goddamn it." He muttered as he grabbed a towel. He looked, he hadn't put the pot back far enough so when it dripped-instead of going into the pot, it hit the lid and overflowed, and ran out onto the counter, down the front and onto the floor.

He didn't hear it dripping? He didn't smell scorched coffee? He didn't pay any attention to it cause he was too busy thinking about him.

He cleaned it up and tossed the towel into the sink. It was just an accident, but it bothered him. Something had to be done-he couldn't go out on stage in front a capacity crowd and fuck everything up cause his mind was wandering.

He found himself walking the halls of the hotel to his door. He found himself standing at his door. He rapped his knuckles on his door and looked down the corridor.

He suddenly thought of her: She deserved better than him. He loved her, he would kill for her, but it was never over: he was still in love with...

He opened the door and blinked. "Yeah?"

"Hey Steven," He said, "Can I come in?"

"Sure Joe." He ushered him in. "I was just thinking about you."

'I was thinking of you too, baby...' Joe thought as he followed him; his eyes transfixed on Steven. He had his shirt unbuttoned too but his was loosely tied at his waist, his jeans were the same tight ones from the sound check.

"Your solo in Pink. You played it a lot sexier today-I think you should play it that way tonight. You don't have a problem with it?" Steven stuck the end of his pen in his mouth, looking around for a piece of paper.

"Nah. If you want me to do that, I will." Joe swallowed hard as he remembered having himself in that mouth-that tongue flicking him-sending him into paradise.

Steven raised his eyebrows, removed the pen and starting jotting, "Wow, I didn't know you'd be a pushover for that. I should have ask you to play it that way on the record."

Joe stood there, still enraptured by him. He stared at his profile-he was still so fine featured. Steven Tyler was aging well, like a fine wine. He stared at his auburn hair-it was as gorgeous as ever even though now it was colored. That didn't matter. 'I would love to run my fingers through that silky hair again! How would he take that? He'd probably slap me-that might be cool too...'

He turned and gave him an uncharacteristic frown. "Didn't you hear me Joe?"

That jolted him back. He shook it off and stared at the notes strewn over the table. 'Maybe I can figure out what the hell he was talking about...'

"You OK?" Steven looked at him closer. "You've been out of it all day."

'Of course I'm out of it! I can't stop thinking about you! I'm like a horney teenager!' He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I'm OK."

"Well, you'll be seeing the boys and Billie on Tuesday. Then you'll be fine."

Joe gave a nod, then he felt that long hand on his shoulder. He felt his temperature rise instantly. Steven leaned closer to him; he was so close. He nervously wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand. 'For Christ's' Sake, just try to stay cool!'

"What's wrong?"

He lied. "Nothing's wrong."

"Come on man, talk to me." Steven pulled him to the couch.

'I don't wanna talk; I wanna fuck your brains out! I wanna hear you just screamin out my name! I wanna hold you next to me! God I just want you so bad!' Joe felt Steven's thin arm go around his shoulders. He swallowed hard again.

Joe looked at him-those incredible brown eyes just looking back at him with all the concern of a best friend. He then looked down at his wedding band. 'Billie's the best thing that ever happened to me. I always said I couldn't do this to her. I can't. I can't betray her like this. Screwing around with a girl's one thing, but this is different-this is Steven...'

"You're sweating." His hand went to his forehead. "Are you getting the flu again?"

He instantly got hotter-just by having that hand on him. 'What the hell's wrong with me? I got the best woman in the world married to me and I'm hot over Steven? I can't tell him about my overpowering thoughts! I'm just gonna walk away. Yup. I have to. This will be the greatest mistake of my life-well, next to quitting the band...' "I better go-" He started to get up, but Steven held him back.

"You're not leaving until you tell me what's on your mind." He was leaning almost on top of him. "Talk to me Joe."

'Christ Steven can you get any closer? It's taking all my willpower not to just tackle you onto the floor.' He could feel his breath on his cheek. He swallowed hard again. 'Oh God, I really should tell him, but he probably hasn't thought of me since I brushed him off. What the hell makes me think he even would be interested in me anymore? He's got more pussy than he knows what to do with; he doesn't need me. But I know he won't let up until he knows-or thinks he knows what's going on...'

"You can tell me anything." Steven prodded.

'I'll just sorta feel it out. See what he says...' "I've been thinking." Joe sighed. "About the past."

Steven remained silent waiting for him to say anything. He realized that he wasn't going to. "Past? What about the past?" He finally asked.

"Our past. You know, our past." 'God that came out fast; didn't even catch myself saying it like that-I shoulda said it better...'

Steven's eyes widened; Joe knew that he understood. 'Can't really go back now...' "I mean you know sometimes I just catch myself thinking about you-how I loved holding you, how I loved feeling your breath on my neck as I fell asleep." He looked away and shook his head. "Everything really; I just don't know." 'This is it-I'm in too deep. I'll just say it. I'll just say it as simply as I can...' "I miss you baby."

Silence. Not a gasp, not a snicker, nothing at all; just a strange stillness that filled the room.

'Oh fuck! Why didn't I keep my goddamned mouth shut?' Joe thought as he stared he at his feet. 'I thought about him before and kept quiet, I shoulda done that again. I can't believe I did this! Jesus! This was a terrible idea; why'd I even say anything?'

The only thing Joe heard was his heart pounding in his ears. 'Great I just fucked everything up! Why isn't he saying anything at all? God, I pissed him off? I figured he'd at least be flattered...' He made himself look up from his feet, but he couldn't meet his eyes. 'I gotta look at him eventually. I hope that I don't see a look of absolute disgust on his face. I hope that he doesn't laugh at me. Just give me some type of understanding, Steven, please. Please don't hate me for loving you...' He sighed and finally made himself look at him.

He was met with a kind easy smile. "I miss you too."

He felt himself smile back. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. Like I told you before you were something else. I got the feeling you were looking me over today."

"I was; I couldn't help myself."

Steven smiled at him again, but Joe frowned and looked down again. 'Now what?' He thought as he clasped his hands in his lap and thought about the scenario they were now in. 'OK, he's not mad, but now I can't just walk out-I don't wanna go anyway. I shouldn't have started this but the genie's outta the bottle and there's no putting her back.'

Steven was still staring at him. "I know you love Billie and I love Teresa, but you and me we go so deep."

"Yeah we're deep." He numbly repeated.

Steven slowly traced the stitching on Joe's shirt with his finger. "Will you be my Joe-Joe again?"

Joe took his long soft hand and cradled it in his. "I was always yours. I always loved you baby."

Steven quickly enclosed his hand, and taking Joe's hand now into his and gently pulled it up to his own lips. He licked Joe's fingers, and took his index finger into his mouth and began gently sucking it.

Joe watched him intently; watching those lips enclosing around his finger; he felt himself shudder as Steven suckled away. The genie was out-long gone and not looking back.

Steven kissed the back of his hand, then looked at him. "You don't know how happy you've just made me. I've wanted you for so long." He moved closer to Joe and began to lean into a kiss. "And now here we are-"

"Is the door locked?"

"Oh yeah. I learned my lesson." Steven inched closer, "Nobody's gonna be looking for me for about an hour. How bout you?"

"Nobody."

"Great." Steven gave him a tender kiss on the lips, then another. Joe moved his hand and held Steven's head steady as he returned the kiss. His fingers felt that silky, beautiful auburn hair again.

Steven let out a groan of approval, then breathlessly said, "God I love you."

"I love you too, babe."

He felt Steven's long fingers brush through his hair. "I wish you hadn't cut it off. I really liked your long curly hair."

"You were the one saying how I hid behind it."

"You did."

"Yeah, I just feel more comfortable on stage now. Besides, you know, easier to take care of on the road."

"Yeah but it was so sexy." He purred. "It was just a pure black silky curtain of sex." Steven crawled onto his lap, and gave his face a slow lick. Joe felt his hands go around his waist. He felt the same way he had all those years ago, and there's no way he could blame this on a chemically induced high. This was real. They were now locked into a passionate kiss, bodies entwining, tongues wrestling, hearts pounding, temperatures rising...

There was a knock on the door. Steven gave out an angry growl. "Goddamn it." He got up and ran his fingers through his hair. Joe got up and quickly checked himself in the mirror; making sure he was presentable...

"Are you hungry?" He turned around; Steven was pushing a cart. "I forgot I ordered something to tide me over."

Joe gave an indifferent shrug. 'Nobody's gonna be looking for me for about an hour. Yeah right!'

Steven gave a slight frown. "I know I know, it ruined the moment. We can eat and get back down to business."

Joe sat back down. 'Wonder who else you forgot about! You bastard...'

"I ordered this, this morning, I just forgot." He shrugged. "And don't worry: Door's locked."

Steven looked at the salad and fruit cup then back at Joe. "Fuck this will wait." He muttered. He sat down beside him. "Now where were we?" He nuzzled into Joe's neck, kissing and sucking him.

'How the hell can I get mad at him? Poor bastard; he's got thirty things on his mind at once...' "Don't leave a mark." Joe swallowed hard. "I don't wanna have to explain that."

"Right. I'll be careful."

It didn't take Joe long to get back down to business; the little interruption was quickly forgotten. His fingers felt the soft silk of his shirt, then he moved to his skin. He pushed the shirt off his shoulder. His mouth moved to Steven's shoulder; he was uncontrollable. He gave a little laugh as his fingertips explored Joe's well-defined torso.

Then Joe sat up a bit, he saw Steven give a little frown. He sat completely up now. 'Yeah I got you wondering now...' He took his fingers and unzipped Steven's jeans. He saw him give a broad smile.

He pulled Steven out of his underwear and gently kneaded him as he returned to his kiss. He heard Steven let out a low groan, "And I thought that this afternoon was gonna be boring."

Joe's hand kneaded him gently; his lips returned to Steven's chest. Slowly he moved down his torso, licking and kissing every available inch. Closer and closer he moved steadily down to Steven's cock. He licked and caressed him with his tongue; he gently sucked at him, then he would lick him again.

"Wait," Steven said breathlessly.

"Huh?" Joe looked up at him.

Steven was reclined back, his hand reached behind him, digging for something in his back pocket. "Here." He handed him a Trojan single. "Put it on me. You'd better make it quick cause-"

"Why?" Joe looked at the pack, then back at Steven. "What do you have?"

"Nothing and I think you're clean too." Steven frowned at him. "Fuck it's almost the 21st century!" He threw his head back. "Damn it Joe, just use it!"

"OK," Joe grumbled as he tore the pack opened. 'I saw this once in a porno, hope it does work, or this could be a mess...' He put the condom in his mouth and worked it onto Steven.

"Oh Joe-Joe." He felt Steven squirm, and shove deeper down his throat. He never thought that rubber would taste all that great, but it was still a fabulous feeling. He could still feel the hot come; he could still fell Steven's pulse. He felt Steven's hands on either side of his head holding him. 'Like I wanna go away...'

When he was done, Joe sat up and caught his breath. He ran his hand through his hair and looked at Steven. He was still reclined, but he did remove the used rubber and carefully put it on the floor. "What was all that about?" He asked.

"I don't know; I just like it." Steven zipped up, "Nobody's ever done that to you?"

"No."

"I'll make you love it!"

___________________________________________


They had been secretly carrying on for months. After the show, the post-show party, everything was all said and done; they would take turns sneaking into the others hotel rooms. If they couldn't sneak-then their tryst was under the code of 'Working on a new song; so don't bother us cause we got a lot of work to do.' Actually the sneaking part was more fun. It was great: So of course something would have to fuck it all up. They were in New York-so it was just a 'local stop'. Everybody's families would be there-they could go home tonight and sleep in their own houses.

"Steven, are you alone?"

"Yup."

"Can I talk to you for just a second?"

"Sure Billie, come on in." He ushered her into his dressing room.

She sat down and frowned, "I have to ask you something about Joe, but I'm afraid you won't tell me the truth."

"Why would I lie?"

"Because you're his friend, and you'll protect him."

"Yeah Joe's my friend, but so are you." Steven sat down beside her, "What's up?"

She drew a long deep breath. "I think he's fooling around on me big time."

He contained his shock and recovered smoothly. "What makes you think that?"

"The past few months, well," Billie hesitated. "When he comes home, he's different. It's not like his misses me."

"Joe certainly does miss you and the boys when we're gone."

"No Steven, he doesn't miss me. He isn't as passionate as he used to be. It used to be that he'd have his hands all over me-he could hardly wait to get me alone, but not now. It's like the fire's gone. He doesn't miss me at all; so if he doesn't miss me, that means he's got somebody on the road with him."

'God I know what you mean! Some nights I'd barely got into the door and Joe-Joe'd be on me like a tick on a dog. That man has got the smoothest moves too...' Steven cleared his throat. "Have you asked him about this?"

"No."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No." She stood, "No, I just wanted to know if he had some girlfriend on the road with him. That's all."


He looked her right in the eye. "No. Joe Perry doesn't have a girlfriend with him."

She gave a stare, trying to get him to flinch, "Really?"

"Really." Steven kept looking her in the eye; he knew this trick. Billie can see if you're lying if you flinch. Joe told him about that one years ago: He didn't flinch.

She let up. "OK." She got up and walked to his door. "Maybe it's just my imagination."

He followed her-he caught himself looking at her legs. "Yeah well he's got a lot on his mind, we're all getting tired. It's been a long tour."

Billie nodded. "Thanks Steven."

"Later Billie." He closed the door behind her, and gave a deep sigh. He sat down on his couch and thought. 'Billie knows-she knows that Joe's fucking around. Goddamn women's intuition! She'd really freak if she knew he was fucking me!'

_____________________________________________

Steven tried to tell him, but he couldn't. They were still together after they went back out-every time he tried desperately to tell Joe, but he couldn't. They'd make love, and then he'd feel guilty.

The guilt was almost eating him up-He couldn't stand to see Joe and Billie break up. Especially over him-she was key in getting Joe back in Aerosmith. He owned the woman that much.

But he couldn't let this sweet love go away either.

He convinced himself that tonight was the night-simply because he'd heard the roadies talking that Billie was seen at the show. He asked about it, and one of them admitted that it was a surprise to Joe. He wasn't supposed to know she was going to be there.

She never showed up backstage-or at the party. Maybe the roadie was confused, maybe it wasn't Billie Perry at all. Still, he didn't want to take that chance.

He paced the room, it was Joe's turn to show up at his bed. 'Maybe Joe won't show, then I'll know it was true-' He heard the secret little knock; it was Joe. Billie didn't keep him away. This was it.

Steven opened his door just long enough to let him in. He looked at him, and knew this was the moment. "Joe-"

"God you were so fucking hot tonight!" His arms wrapped around his body puling him closer. "I never thought that after show party was gonna end!" Joe kissed him passionately.

Steven forgot his plan-he kissed back. Then it hit him; he tried to break away, "Joe we gotta talk-"

"Why do you always wanna talk? We'll talk afterwards." Joe resumed his kiss.

He broke away from his embrace. "No, really we gotta talk."

"Talk about what?" Joe blinked hard. "You aren't leaving me are you?"

"Joe-"

Joe grabbed his shoulder; Steven saw tears welling in his eyes. "Baby please, I can't go on without you. I need you-"

"No, I love you too."

Joe frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Um, maybe we'd better lay low for a while."

"Why somebody say something? They're always talking about us-even when we weren't doing anything-"

"Billie." That one word stopped Joe cold. "She wanted to know who you were having an affair with."

He watched Joe's face turn from his healthy tan to ashen. "What?" He finally asked.

"A few weeks ago, she asked me if I knew who you were fucking behind her back."

"What did you say?" Joe asked angrily.

"Nothing. I told her that you didn't have a girlfriend-"

"Is that all you said?"

"Yeah." Steven shot back. "Christ, I didn't admit anything to her. I'm not a fucking idiot!"

Joe put his hands on his hips and paced a couple of times. "I wonder how she knew."

"She said that you aren't acting like you 'miss' her."

Joe frowned again and paced again; lost in thought. The rap on the door stopped him. Steven opened it and there stood Billie Perry. "Oh hey Bil-"

"Why are you here?" She brushed aside him and looked at Joe. "Why aren't you in your room?"

"Me and Steven were you know just going over some ideas for the next show." He crossed his arms, "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to surprise you. I came in this afternoon."

Joe went up to her and started to put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm so glad that you did-"

She slapped him hard across the face. "Don't lie to me you son of a bitch!"

"Jesus Billie!" Joe exclaimed as he rubbed his jaw. "What was that for?"

"Where is she?" She went down Steven's hallway and looked into the rooms screaming accusations as she went. "What are you two doing? Sharing her? Where's she hiding? I know that she couldn't have climbed out unless you're fucking a monkey!"

"There's nobody here but us." Steven said. "We're alone."

"And you two were just planning the next show."

"Yeah, we're thinking about bringing in some of the old shit. Liven the roster up."

Billie narrowed her eyes at Joe.

"What?" Joe threw his hands in the air.

"I know you!" She was berserk. "You'd better figure out just what's important to you! Your wife and sons or your hot little honey-"

"Joe's been faithful to you!" Steven interrupted. "There's no other woman in his life!"

For a brief second, the unthinkable thought ran through her mind. "If I EVER find out you're making a fool of me, I will take the boys and we will leave you! I don't care what-"

"Billie, come on. It's me." Joe shrugged at her. "You know I can't ever lie to you! You always look at me and find out. If you don't believe me, then test me; you know I can't fake that!"

"OK." She leveled her stare at him. "Are you having an affair with another woman?"

Joe didn't flinch. "No Billie."

"Are you having an affair with Steven?"

Steven felt his eyes widen. "What?"

She ignored him. "Are you?"

"No Billie."

She stared at him and he stared back at her; then she gave a smile. "Oh Joe, I'm sorry! I don't know how I could ever doubt you."

Joe smiled at her. "It's OK."

"Sorry Steven." She flinched as she looked at him.

"No problem Billie."

She threw her arms around his neck. "Please forgive me Joe."

"Sure baby. I'm glad that you're here. I missed you." Joe gave her a long kiss. "Let's go order room service and stay in."

Steven felt his stomach tighten with jealousy-it was the same way he had said it to him.

Joe still held her, but he met his eyes. He mouthed. 'I love you Steven.'

He mouthed 'I love you Joe-Joe' back to him. He knew Billie had won him, for now.