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I just bashed my head lightly against the table the next day. I could barely
stand three days of him being like this, how the hell was I going to last to the
end of the week?

I looked up, unsurprised to find a camera pointing in my direction.

Standing up and peering out of the window at the bent over form, I looked back
at the camera. Finally my eyes slid to everyone else who was choosing to ignore
today's problem.

As I strode out of the bus, I felt the camera follow me.

I prayed to god he wasn't about to round on everyone else, god only knows what
they thought of me at the moment. I knew they were watching as I kept up my
hurried pace over to the retching form.

Watching someone be sick is never nice, but I have never been one to believe you
should avoid them. If they're throwing up: something's wrong, and it's never
nice to be alone then.

I suppose I should have told them that, they might have dismissed everything for
a while as me being an emotional soul...

Gently, I pulled the black hair back, not watching too carefully as the alcohol
found its way back up.

Finally, after a few moments, he gingerly stood straight.

So, struggling carrying half of Gerard's weight as I guided him back, I settled
him down in his bunk before heading back to the table, unsurprised to find the
bloody cameraman with his damn earphones plugged into the camera watching
playbacks and taking notes again.

"What did he ask?" I asked, not looking at them. They looked at each
other.

"Nothing," My eyes slid to each one of them in turn.

"What did he ask? You know I'm not keen on him and that damn camera, I want
to know," They exchanged glances again.

"Something we need to ask you," Said Mikey. I looked at him before
sighing, rubbing my temples.

--------------------------

"Where're you going?" Gerard asked Ray during make up. He turned from
the door.

"Munchies," He answered.

"Ooh, I'll come with," He said, plodding after him. I rolled my eyes.
You'd think he only had one brain cell sometimes...

So I was quite distressed to find I was sat doing Frank's make up with Mikey on
one side and Bob the other.

After a few moments, I gave in.

"So what was the question?" silence.

"Uhh..." was about all I heard for five minutes, and I was seriously
starting to wonder where the munchies were...

"We need to know," Said Mikey, finally. "You and Gerard is
there..." I looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Anything..." I ran my
tongue over the front of my teeth.

"Nothing, all right," I answered before he'd finished.

"Sure?" I looked to my other side at Bob.

"Half the time I wake up in his bed, of course I'm not sure!" I
snapped, turning back to Frank and his make up, giving him a warning glance of
'don't you dare join in'.

"Well, why go to sleep next to him then?" Asked Frank. I glared at
him.

"You're crap at picking up hints, aren't you?" I asked. He nodded,
grinning. I sighed, going back to his make up. "I honestly have no idea, to
answer your question. The first time, I didn't want to leave him on his own but
after that...I don't know-" I stopped mid-sentence. "You know, I'd
normally be saying this to a girl, this is kind of girl talk, you do know
that?"

"Hey, we're in an all boy band, it has it's downsides. Which do include
trying, and failing, to fill the feminine void. Mind you, with Frank
around..." said Mikey, trailing off. Frank batted his hand in his
direction, trying to hit him. I sighed.

"Fine...are you sure? This is going to sound really...stupid. Normally only
girls understand it," They all nodded. "First, answer my
question,"

"Which is?" Asked Bob.

"Why you three?"

"What?" Asked Frank.

"Well, with the amount of time it's taking them, Ray's either stalling
Gerard or talking to him. I'm guessing talking. So why you three to talk to
me?" Mikey was first to answer.

"We decided we'd get an answer out of you with us three. Well, us two, Bob
was back up," I nodded.

"Plus, we though Ray'd be able to keep him occupied longer," Added
Frank. Smiling slightly, I nodded. "So, your answer?" I groaned
slightly, but answered.

"Fine. Like I said, the first time I didn't want to leave him. But after
that...it was like...well, the first time after that...I have my reasons. Mostly
pity, he was more than unhappy. But then I felt like," I stopped applying
makeup to slouch and think for a moment. "I was...I can't believe I'm going
to tell you this, but I felt like I was almost missing something. It is the only
thing that has me doubt the idea that there really is nothing," I shook my
head to clear it before going back to the make up. "It's stupid,
really,"

"It's not," Said Mikey. I looked at him briefly, seeing him frowning.

"Why not?" He didn't answer straight away. I leaned back from Frank.
"Done," He left the seat to study himself in the mirror.
"Next," Bob slid himself into the seat.

"I suppose," Began Mikey, still searching for the words. "It's
just not. It's understandable, I suppose. I know that sounded very..."

"Perverted?" I finished for him.

"I guess. But seriously, if you didn't want to leave him on his own, even
if he was only like six feet away, it kinda tells me you're being slightly
protective. And if you are, then I suppose not knowing where he is would
be...you know...even he is only six feet away," I thought for a moment.

"We need to know, you see," Said Bob, taking his latch chance to
scratch his nose. "'Cause to be honest, and we do trust him, like, but with
the drinking..." He trailed off and I nodded, understanding: It was safer
to keep an eye on everything.

A few moments later, and Gerard and Ray were back, munchies in hand.

--------------------------

I didn't sleep that night. To prove my strong will, I refused to get up and head
over to Gerard. Instead, I kept on thinking which, in the dead of night, is
rarely a good thing for anyone.

The clutter was still lying around in places, though I had found time to clear
some up on Sunday. So guess what I was doing at eight the next morning?

Cleaning. And I had been doing it for several hours. My fingers were stubs.

At eleven in the morning, I fell asleep on the sofa.

--------------------------

My wake up call was, as usual, voices.

"I bet she's been thinking about it all night," Mikey.

"She was definitely up all night. I woke up at two in the morning and she
was still awake. And cleaning all this isn't a quick job,"

"What about Gerard?"

"I don't think he slept much either. I think it was him turning over in bed
that woke me up,"

"Think anything'll happen...?" He asked absent-mindedly.

"Anything'll happen...? What...?"

"Between them," I heard a snort.

"From what Ray said, not unless Gerard stays sober for a few moments to see
what's going on,"

"Here they are. Wait..."

"He isn't drunk..."

"He's my brother, I love him, but I was actually expecting him to be
drunk,"

"What a nice thing to say," I mumbled, sitting up slightly. There was
silence for a moment, during which I stretched and watched the three walking up
to the tour bus.

"How long have you been awake?" Asked Frank.

"From: I bet she's been awake all night. And yes, I was, and from what I
could tell, so was he," I rubbed my eyes, yawning, as the three got on the
bus.

"Hey!" Called an unusually happy (for this time. As said, he was
normally drunk) Gerard. I groaned and tried to bury myself in the sofa.

--------------------------

When I did finally look up, having gotten uncomfortable, I spotted everyone
playing kickball outside in an open space. Looking around, I also spotted
Gerard, happily drawing while sat on the floor near the sofa.

I sat up, stretching. He looked over at me, but went back to drawing.

Getting bored sitting and watching the kickball game, I settled myself back down
on the sofa, hand propping my head up as I peered over Gerard's shoulder at his
drawing.

"Like it?" He asked, moving the pad further into my view. I tilted my
head slightly at the character drawn on the paper before nodding.

"I like," He smiled before setting the pad down and turning to look at
me.

"What...did they ask you?" I paused.

"What did they ask you?" I asked him. We nodded slightly. "I take
it you got stuck where I did - the whole 'in the same bed' issue," He
nodded.

"That and..." He stopped himself.

"And what...?" I asked, smiling slightly.

"Nothing," He shook his head.

"Come on, what?" I said, pushing his shoulder lightly, smirking. He
sighed, letting his head roll back.

"It's just...my original answer was 'I don't know'," I blinked,
shifting slightly. "Yours was a definite no, though it became an 'I don't
know'..." I opened my mouth, but didn't ask anything for a few moments,
listening to the kickball game.

"What did yours become?" I asked, close to a whisper, unable to manage
much more.

I was already pinching myself. I mean, come on, how often do you get picked up
in what could quite possibly have been your last job before you were forced to
move state to find work by a fairly famous band that's offering you a job as
their make up artist. That alone gives you reason to pinch yourself, right? Well
then, being asked if there's anything between you and one of the band members
gives you reason to prick yourselves several times with a needle...

But this...

This gives you reason to take a sledgehammer to your head. If you pass out, it's
not a dream, okay?

"An 'I don't know yet...leaning towards yes...'" I blinked more than
once.

"I've changed my answer," I said, looking at the floor as he looked at
me.

"To...?" I looked at him, head lying on the sofa next to mine.

"Yes," He studied my eyes. By now I was reaching for the nearest
sledgehammer and wondering where I could find some alcohol.

Sometimes, you forget whom you're talking to. Has that ever happened to you? You
forget you're talking to a total stranger and you act like they're one of your
best pals? And it obviously makes them uncomfortable.

Well, this was something like that. It's only after you say or do something you
realise who you're talking to.

And when they're fairly famous, it hits hard.

I managed to keep eye contact by some miracle. I could feel my cheeks slowly
heating up, though.

The kickball game outside had, I realised, gone quiet, but not for long. Once
the noise from outside returned...

You'd think I'd remember this a lot better, but it did happen kind of quickly.
One minute everything was quiet and we were staring at each other the next...

As soon as he knew they weren't coming back, his hand came up to my neck,
pulling me down to him. Our lips met and...that was it. Out of body experience,
that was how far my mind floated off. It was probably looking for the pneumatic
drill, let alone the sledgehammer...

I know I was...

I actually had no idea how to react. Not that I was going to stop him anyway. It
was just I didn't do anything at all, really. I mean, I had no choice when he
sat up, pushing hard against me but aside from that...?

What was I meant to do? I mean, I knew 'what to do' it was just...shock. And
half wondering what my friends would shout at me if they ever found out.

Anyway, he sat up, bringing his other hand to my neck. It felt great, like I'd
wanted this for ages but never realised it. Slowly, my arms came around his
shoulders, trying to pull him closer than he was, which was impossible by now.
Any closer and we'd have been apart of each other.

But it was worth a try.

I moaned involuntarily (while trying to breathe) and this seemed to spur him on
in some way. If it was possible, his kiss became more demanding. I felt his
tongue run across my bottom lip. I (beyond) happily let it in, my arms moving
from his shoulders to his neck.

There was a bang from outside as someone was pushed against the bus wall. We
broke apart and hurried back to a normal-looking position. Which just happened
to be me watching Gerard draw.

No sooner had he picked his pencil up again than everyone else came piling into
the bus. I waved at everyone as they came in, smiling.

I sighed as they raided the place for food. Looking at the clock I decided maybe
they had time for food before the nights show.

I stood up, feeling Gerard watching me all the way as I walked over to the
kitchen area, shooing them out of the way before giving them a choice:
Sandwiches or sandwiches.