Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto
therapy session in konoha
1 reviewnaruto, sasuke, iruka, kakashi, gaara and lee go visit a shrink for couples counselling. semi-crack-fic,
-1Illiterate
Kanna- hime
This fiction happens to be my first one, please be gentle.
Warnings: this fiction contains yaoi, no lemon yet, but sex talk( a bit)
I was trying to be a little funny.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Naruto his boyfriend sasuke, iruka- sensei and his lover kakashi -sensei , gaara and his love rock lee, all sat in the large room, waiting for the person who was coming to help them, out.
"I still don't see why I have to be here" mumbled sasuke childishly
"because we need help, sasuke, our relationship has been very stressful , these past few days. " naruto explained calmly
"its only stressful, when you don't spread your legs, when I ask you to" he argued softly.
"I would, but you keep asking me , every 20 minutes, I'm your lover , not a blow up doll "
Sasuke growled and shut up.
"aren't they just the cutest couple " iruka cooed , at naruto and sasuke squabbling ,looking at his lover ,,
" hn" kakashi shrugged,
"whats wrong, you didn't want to come, either, did you ?' he asked
Kakashi looked sheepish and scratch behind his neck, his one visible eye, twinkled with embarrassment .
"But kakashi , love, we need this ' iruka explained , pouting cutely, quivering his lower lip when kakashi groaned in frustration.
" No. iruka. Do NOT look at me like THAT " kakashi warned as iruka blinked rapidly, trying to keep back his tears,
Iruka sniffled, "FINE, we'll stay" kakashi all but shouted.
And iruka sensei beamed , kissing the grey haired jounin, on the lips (through his mask ,of course),
And kakashi sighed, a massive sweat drop adorned his face, grimacing at his surrender.
"Okay" drawled the doctor, no one knowing how he got there, sitting in his large purple chair, huge glasses adorning his hairy face, sitting firmly atop a bulbous nose.
"Hello, everyone , sasuke, naruto , kakashi ,iruka,, gaara and lee." hearing a murmur going through the room he continued " my name isn't important, only the way I can help you to benefit from your relationship" he said convincing himself .
"First off, try to get any problems out of the way" he offered " naruto , what do you dislike about your partner ?"
" well, umm, he's too rough with me , and he hurts my feelings when he insults me"
"Sasuke , what do you dislike about naruto ?"
" he's way to emotional, and doesn't listen, if I say not to wiggle, don't wiggle " he stressed, glaring accusingly at the blond.
"O-kaaay " the doctor said, moving on to iruka
" well , the way he molests me whenever HE feels like it, even if there are people around, and he always does it especially around genma and raidou " pouting slightly." its so embarrassing'
"kakashi what are your dislikes about iruka ?"
" I think iruka is way to emotional, its not healthy, and I DISLIKE it when he flaunts himself in front of genma and raidou" falling back into his seat grumbling about "his property"
"gaara, and your dislikes about your lover?"
"he's to emotional for a guy, and he molests me in his sleep"
"lee?" the doctor questioned
"gaara is way to cold, we've been together for over a year and he never kisses me"
__________________________________________________________________________________
"lets speak about sex," a murmur went through the room
" sasuke, what is sex like with naruto"
"how, would I know, I've been sleeping in the other bedroom for the past week" he said , getting upset
"only, because you're so, damn rough with me"
"he's rough with you, naruto ? Asked the doctor
"FUCK yes, the last time , we had sex , I couldn't train for days, I was sore, and bleeding, I couldn't even walk"
Sasuke growled and looked away.
The bespectacled man turned towards kakashi and repeated the original question.
"sex, with iruka- sensei ?" the jounin asked himself.
He shrugged nonchalantly as if it were nothing" you see, I spend so much time, molesting him and trying to get into bed, that when I do, my body goes on auto -pilot , and I barely remember anything when I wake up
And what about all those times, when we talked after sex, uh , kakashi ? Iruka sensei asked tears welling in his huge eyes..
" I told you, I barely remember anything"
And before anyone saw it coming iruka slapped kakashi so hard on his face, his neck spun.
Iruka stood up and while making the hand signs to disappear, iruka said to a dazed kakashi " you, are soo sleeping on the couch " and was gone, a still reeling kakashi managed the correct hand signals and went after his dolphin -chan .
" ah, the rigors of youthfulness " stated lee, gaara scowled darkly at him, clearly stating that he didn't want to be their either.
"Alll-riiighty then" the doctor drawled once more
"gaara," the doctor , practically shouted excitement and glee twinkling in his eyes.
"what is sex like with rock lee? " he asked, crossing his legs, and looked at the sand nin interestedly
" good , I guess"
"compared, to whose, gaara?"
" neji, hinata, Shikimaru's , gai-sensei, I cant remember the rest"
" you had sex with neji ?" asked lee
"yeah, so "he answered nonchalantly'
"you had sex with hinata ,shikimaru and gai sensei ? Lee practically yelled " why didn't you tell me"
" it wasn't important at the time " gaara said, standing to meet an already standing taijitsu master to be,
" come on gaara , our relationship has not been the best" lee stated
"our relationship is fine" gaara replied, getting angry
"gaara, do you realise that we never kiss " lee informed him, " all this time together and we still don't kiss "
" why is kissing , so damn important to you" he snapped
"because I want to know if you love me the way I love you?
"do you love, rock lee, eh ,gaara?" the doctor asked with curious amusement
"of course I love him, I.. Would.. Not.. Be.. Here.. If.. It.. wasn't.. so.. Damn.. Important.. to.. him" gaara stated through gritted teeth, glaring at the doctor.
" gaara, you love me? Rock lee questioned shyly, almost hesitant to hear the answer,
"of course I do " gaara said gently and he enveloped lee into his arms " I love you for keeping me sane , for
Not being afraid, of me, for not thinking I am a monster, I love you so much, even though three's a crowd, I know I have you and shukaku forever. I'd die without you "
He looked into lee's watering eyes and whispered to him "I love you rock lee"
Then the ever present sand, enveloped them, transporting them to god know' s where.
The doctor sighed and thought ~tsunade, isn't paying me enough for this shit~
Looking back to expect to see naruto and sasuke arguing, he spun around to see a sobbing naruto run out of the room, and a unrepentant looking sasuke, growled in his throat and stormed out after his blond lover,
Yelling at him, "dobe, get your ass back here ",
"why, you'll just hurt me again " he retorted from down the hall.
The doctor sighed, opening his desk drawer, and helped himself to a large bottle of sake.
"I am getting way to old for this shit"
__________________________________________________________________________________
I know this is utter crap, and if you feel the need to flame, please REVIEW and do so. This is my first naruto fiction. There are three stories that can come from this if I will write one for every review, so I only need three reviews
==================================================================================
DISCLAIMER:
I unfortunately do not own naruto.( I really wish I did, though)
==================================================================================
This fiction happens to be my first one, please be gentle.
Warnings: this fiction contains yaoi, no lemon yet, but sex talk( a bit)
I was trying to be a little funny.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Naruto his boyfriend sasuke, iruka- sensei and his lover kakashi -sensei , gaara and his love rock lee, all sat in the large room, waiting for the person who was coming to help them, out.
"I still don't see why I have to be here" mumbled sasuke childishly
"because we need help, sasuke, our relationship has been very stressful , these past few days. " naruto explained calmly
"its only stressful, when you don't spread your legs, when I ask you to" he argued softly.
"I would, but you keep asking me , every 20 minutes, I'm your lover , not a blow up doll "
Sasuke growled and shut up.
"aren't they just the cutest couple " iruka cooed , at naruto and sasuke squabbling ,looking at his lover ,,
" hn" kakashi shrugged,
"whats wrong, you didn't want to come, either, did you ?' he asked
Kakashi looked sheepish and scratch behind his neck, his one visible eye, twinkled with embarrassment .
"But kakashi , love, we need this ' iruka explained , pouting cutely, quivering his lower lip when kakashi groaned in frustration.
" No. iruka. Do NOT look at me like THAT " kakashi warned as iruka blinked rapidly, trying to keep back his tears,
Iruka sniffled, "FINE, we'll stay" kakashi all but shouted.
And iruka sensei beamed , kissing the grey haired jounin, on the lips (through his mask ,of course),
And kakashi sighed, a massive sweat drop adorned his face, grimacing at his surrender.
"Okay" drawled the doctor, no one knowing how he got there, sitting in his large purple chair, huge glasses adorning his hairy face, sitting firmly atop a bulbous nose.
"Hello, everyone , sasuke, naruto , kakashi ,iruka,, gaara and lee." hearing a murmur going through the room he continued " my name isn't important, only the way I can help you to benefit from your relationship" he said convincing himself .
"First off, try to get any problems out of the way" he offered " naruto , what do you dislike about your partner ?"
" well, umm, he's too rough with me , and he hurts my feelings when he insults me"
"Sasuke , what do you dislike about naruto ?"
" he's way to emotional, and doesn't listen, if I say not to wiggle, don't wiggle " he stressed, glaring accusingly at the blond.
"O-kaaay " the doctor said, moving on to iruka
" well , the way he molests me whenever HE feels like it, even if there are people around, and he always does it especially around genma and raidou " pouting slightly." its so embarrassing'
"kakashi what are your dislikes about iruka ?"
" I think iruka is way to emotional, its not healthy, and I DISLIKE it when he flaunts himself in front of genma and raidou" falling back into his seat grumbling about "his property"
"gaara, and your dislikes about your lover?"
"he's to emotional for a guy, and he molests me in his sleep"
"lee?" the doctor questioned
"gaara is way to cold, we've been together for over a year and he never kisses me"
__________________________________________________________________________________
"lets speak about sex," a murmur went through the room
" sasuke, what is sex like with naruto"
"how, would I know, I've been sleeping in the other bedroom for the past week" he said , getting upset
"only, because you're so, damn rough with me"
"he's rough with you, naruto ? Asked the doctor
"FUCK yes, the last time , we had sex , I couldn't train for days, I was sore, and bleeding, I couldn't even walk"
Sasuke growled and looked away.
The bespectacled man turned towards kakashi and repeated the original question.
"sex, with iruka- sensei ?" the jounin asked himself.
He shrugged nonchalantly as if it were nothing" you see, I spend so much time, molesting him and trying to get into bed, that when I do, my body goes on auto -pilot , and I barely remember anything when I wake up
And what about all those times, when we talked after sex, uh , kakashi ? Iruka sensei asked tears welling in his huge eyes..
" I told you, I barely remember anything"
And before anyone saw it coming iruka slapped kakashi so hard on his face, his neck spun.
Iruka stood up and while making the hand signs to disappear, iruka said to a dazed kakashi " you, are soo sleeping on the couch " and was gone, a still reeling kakashi managed the correct hand signals and went after his dolphin -chan .
" ah, the rigors of youthfulness " stated lee, gaara scowled darkly at him, clearly stating that he didn't want to be their either.
"Alll-riiighty then" the doctor drawled once more
"gaara," the doctor , practically shouted excitement and glee twinkling in his eyes.
"what is sex like with rock lee? " he asked, crossing his legs, and looked at the sand nin interestedly
" good , I guess"
"compared, to whose, gaara?"
" neji, hinata, Shikimaru's , gai-sensei, I cant remember the rest"
" you had sex with neji ?" asked lee
"yeah, so "he answered nonchalantly'
"you had sex with hinata ,shikimaru and gai sensei ? Lee practically yelled " why didn't you tell me"
" it wasn't important at the time " gaara said, standing to meet an already standing taijitsu master to be,
" come on gaara , our relationship has not been the best" lee stated
"our relationship is fine" gaara replied, getting angry
"gaara, do you realise that we never kiss " lee informed him, " all this time together and we still don't kiss "
" why is kissing , so damn important to you" he snapped
"because I want to know if you love me the way I love you?
"do you love, rock lee, eh ,gaara?" the doctor asked with curious amusement
"of course I love him, I.. Would.. Not.. Be.. Here.. If.. It.. wasn't.. so.. Damn.. Important.. to.. him" gaara stated through gritted teeth, glaring at the doctor.
" gaara, you love me? Rock lee questioned shyly, almost hesitant to hear the answer,
"of course I do " gaara said gently and he enveloped lee into his arms " I love you for keeping me sane , for
Not being afraid, of me, for not thinking I am a monster, I love you so much, even though three's a crowd, I know I have you and shukaku forever. I'd die without you "
He looked into lee's watering eyes and whispered to him "I love you rock lee"
Then the ever present sand, enveloped them, transporting them to god know' s where.
The doctor sighed and thought ~tsunade, isn't paying me enough for this shit~
Looking back to expect to see naruto and sasuke arguing, he spun around to see a sobbing naruto run out of the room, and a unrepentant looking sasuke, growled in his throat and stormed out after his blond lover,
Yelling at him, "dobe, get your ass back here ",
"why, you'll just hurt me again " he retorted from down the hall.
The doctor sighed, opening his desk drawer, and helped himself to a large bottle of sake.
"I am getting way to old for this shit"
__________________________________________________________________________________
I know this is utter crap, and if you feel the need to flame, please REVIEW and do so. This is my first naruto fiction. There are three stories that can come from this if I will write one for every review, so I only need three reviews
==================================================================================
DISCLAIMER:
I unfortunately do not own naruto.( I really wish I did, though)
==================================================================================
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