Categories > Games > Counter-Strike > T vs. CT: Italy

Round Three

by Forge 0 reviews

Round Three!

Category: Counter-Strike - Rating: R - Genres: Humor, Parody - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2006-10-31 - Updated: 2006-11-01 - 536 words

/T vs. CT: ITALY/
Gregory P. Wong



Cannibal mumbled bad-temperedly as he bought his items from the government shop. The fucking pricks were all fucking scrubs.

*amx-disarm Savage Cannibal*
Savage Cannibal has been disarmed!

*Amx_heal Savage Cannibal 5000*
Savage Cannibal has been healed

*Enable Friendly Fire*

The fuck? He dropped his guns. Huh? He hadn't meant to do that.

Something large clamped on his shoulder. He turned around and saw that it was Pheermee.

"Let go, faggot."

Pheermee sighed.

"What, you gonna buttfuck me, you-"

And the Pheermee punched him in the face, breaking four teeth.

"Show time," he heard the big CT say.

My, what big knuckles he had...


Since Caboose had enabled alltalk, Nox listened in on the radio.

"Okay, Okay, I'll stop! I'll stop! Don't hurt meeeeee!" Cannibal was blubbering into the open channel.

"This is really fun to hear," Caboose noted.



Pheermee hummed as he banged Cannibal's face into the railing at spawn. Then he flung the crying CT into another wall.

"To piledrive or not to piledrive, that is the question," he recited a corrupted version of Shakespeare.

Like there was a real question. Piledrive it was. He turned Cannibal upside down and jumped off from the raised platform of spawn.

Ooh, that was going to leave a mark.

"Whether 'tis nobler to use the baseball bat or the wooden plank with nails."

He picked on the baseball bat, and knocked teeth out of Cannibal's mushy-looking face. The annoying motherfucker was whimpering like a bitch.

"To suffer the pain of a Desert Eagle, or the slinging of 12-gauge buckshot into your genital region?"

He picked buckshot.

Dead Zone

"Aren't we being too cruel?" Caboose asked Mao and Nox. They'd all taken a route through middle and met a large concentration of CTs. It hadn't been very pretty

"Nah," Mao said. "This is fun to watch. 'Sides, I want ideas."


Yo, Phurball. It's Mao. As fun as this is fun to watch, I think it's enough for now.

Pheermee gave a sad sigh.

Fine, fine, he typed back. Any suggestions?


Nah, not enough style. Wait!

Pheermee rapidly tapped in a command into his wrist computer.


Immediately a large can of gasoline popped into existence in his hand. In his other hand appeared a Zippo lighter.

Cannibal moaned. Pheermee hummed as he splashed the other CT with gas.

He snapped the lighter open and lit it.

"Toasty time, bitch" he said, grinning maniacally.

Then he dropped the lighter on Cannibal's battered, gasoline-soaked body.

Again, the round went to the Terrorist team, since, with Pheermee kicking the bejeesus out of Cannibal, the CTs were undermanned. Still, though, it was a very close thing, with Bizzly, Pheermee, and Billy having to dislodge Mao and Shafter out of house.

They were momentarily distracted as a screaming fireball dashed up from long hall and ran towards apartment. The surviving players called a temporary truce as they shot Cannibal down.

Then the CTs stormed the house, with Shafter and Mao playing cat and mouse games with the rushing counter-terrorists.

Mao knifed Billy as the shield-carrying CT was climbing up the boxes.

Terrorists win!
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