Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Life In Sunnyhell
Chapter Four
0 reviewsCrossover with Buffy. Post-Chosen. Post OotP. Buffy writes a book of her life in Sunnydale, and meets some people in Flourish and Blotts.
-1OOC
Chapter Four
When Harry awoke on the nineteenth of January he didn't want to get out of bed. He probably should have taken it as a sign of things come, but at the time he thought it was merely a reaction to the bitterly cold weather. He dragged himself of bed and ended up dressed, ready for classes and at breakfast on time, if not fully awake.
"How are you this morning?" Hermione asked, brightly.
Harry grunted.
"With that sort of attitude, Harry, you'll never have a good day."
"Well what's he got to look forward to then?" Ron said.
Hermione absently punched Ron in the arm and kept examining Harry.
"Ah, double potions after lunch?" Harry asked.
"Have you looked at the Teachers' table, this morning?" Hermione demanded in her practiced I know everything you don't voice.
Harry raised his head to see the teachers at the high table. It took him two scans to realise why he hadn't flinched yet, and therefore what was missing.
"Where's Snape?" He asked.
"I don't know," Hermione said.
"Maybe he got eaten by one of his potions," Ron suggested gleefully.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Potions don't eat people, Ron. They will occasionally vaporise, burn, corrode, possibly melt, or on rare occasions transubstantiate, they do not however eat."
Ron caught Harry's eye and made a face. Harry shook his, smiling. Before Hermione could defend herself, Dumbledore stood up and everyone fell silent.
"A small announcement this morning," he said. "Professor Snape will not be taking any classes today. Potions classes will be taken by another Professor. You are all expected to attend."
Ron's face fell.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked.
"You get to have a potions class without Snape. It's like my dream; do you know how many times I wished I could have a potions class without Snape? We've been saving up for years, well not Percy, but the rest of us, to you know, get rid of him permanently."
Hermione glared at him. "How dare you talk about a Professor like that? Even Snape, I mean I will miss him in class today. He's an amazing teacher, so intelligent and... commanding."
Ron choked on whatever protest he might have come up with and turned an unflattering shade of green. Harry sat up straighter and calmly continued eating. He was quiet looking forward to day without Snape and with Hermione deliberately taunting an unsuspecting Ron. At least, he hoped it was deliberate. He couldn't have dealt with the thought that more than one person liked Snape that way.
When Ron finished his last class for the day, Astronomical theory, he went searching for Harry and Hermione to ask them how much better potions could be without Snape. He eventually found in one corner of an unusually quiet Common room. Hermione was staring blankly at her prized copy of Hogwarts; A History, frowning as though it no longer held the comforting answers that it had before. Harry's hair was more dishevelled than Ron had ever seen, and as Ron sat down he thought there was some sort of muck in it.
"What's up with you two?" Ron asked. "You look like you've had the entire inventory of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes forced down your throats."
Hermione dazedly looked up, staring blearily at Ron.
"We had Professor Flitwick taking us for potions," she said, with a shudder. "I guess we never realised just how dangerous Potions could be without Professor Snape there."
Ron looked confused, and then elbowed Harry in the ribs.
"Harry you tell me, she's not serious. Having Snape for potions is a good thing?"
Harry shook his head, as though shaking out cobwebs. He absently rubbed at the scar on his forehead.
"He better than Professor Flitwick. You know how Snape stalks around the room being scary and making nasty comments, but, well, maybe that's not just why he does it. If even half the disasters in Potion's today could have been prevented because Snape was there I owe him a mental apology."
Harry took in a deep breath. "I didn't even know Flitwick could get angry like that, or, you know, scary."
Hermione nodded vigorously, "After the fifth explosion he just lost it. He turned all red, and his voice got even higher, but it wasn't at all funny. It was much scarier than Snape on a normal day; no one knew what to do. Luckily Susan Bones was knocked out in the first hour. The Bloody Baron brought Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey and that was the end of the class. Professor Flitwick was so enraged it took the two of to control him."
Ron stared at them, his mouth gaping open. "The bloody baron?"
"Snape had charged him with making sure his classroom wasn't destroyed."
Harry stood up, pushing his chair out. "I'm going for a walk before supper. I want to see if I can get the smell of burning flesh out of my nose. It isn't particularly appetising."
Ron just waved goodbye absently and watched Hermione, who had returned to staring blankly at her book as though it had the ability to make everything all right again.
Harry left the Castle and wandered in the direction of the lake; close to the castle in case anything happened, but away from Hagrid's hut and any possibly-escaped "projects." It was almost dark, and there wasn't going to be a moon, so Harry felt safely out of view. He found a comfortable patch of grass near a tree by the lake and dropped onto it. The squid was swimming lazily across the water and Harry waved to him.
The squid might have waved back, but not in any clearly obvious way. Harry leant his chin on his knees, stared at the water and thought about nothing. He didn't think about the fact that he only had other year and a half of school left, he didn't think about the intricacies that might exist in his prophecy, and he didn't think about what it was that had ended up in his hair.
His quiet reverie was interrupted by the disappointingly un-novel arrival of voices. Harry sighed and tucked himself further into a ball, relying on his dark robes and the tree at his back to keep him hidden, absently wondering if he was ever going to be able to enjoy a quiet walk without someone or something interrupting. The voices he heard were highly familiar, and Harry prepared himself for another round of scary mental images as Buffy and Snape came into view, the couple holding hands as they walked.
"This is exceedingly pleasant," Buffy purred contentedly. She grinned, teeth catching the little light, "You really know how to show a girl a good time, Sev: the thoughtful gifts, the dancing attendance, romantic meals. I'll have to have a birthday with you around more often."
Snape snorted. "I do not now nor have I ever demeaned myself to the level of 'dancing attendance' as you so quaintly put it. That implies a certain level of servitude that I abhor, and I doubt I could walk in those shoes, let alone maintain a rhythm. Also please refrain from calling me Sev. My name is Severus, kindly do not shorten it."
Harry inwardly cringed at the combination of Snape using the word please in an un-sarcastic manner, combined with telling them to call him by his first name; that had to be one for the history books.
"Well, grouchiness aside, this has still been the best birthday I've ever had. I can't believe you managed to convince everyone to play along. I was sure that with my track record with birthdays that Willow, Dawn and Giles would put me under as many protective spells and barriers they could manage. But to my surprise I was whisked away by a tall, dark, mysterious wizard for a luxurious date."
Harry saw Buffy stretch up onto her toes to kiss Snape on the nose before continuing. "Whatever should I do to repay you for your generosity?"
"I'm sure we can come up with something satisfactory." Snape said with an audible smirk in his voice. "Unfortunately I am due back at the castle in about an hour and a half so I'm afraid my reward will have to wait." Snape paused, "I do wish to warn you against humouring me as to the reception of my gifts. You will be the one to suffer at subsequent occasions if you have given a false impression of your taste."
Buffy rolled her eyes and effected his pompous turn of phrase for a moment, "I hardly thought you would be ignorant of my anvil like hints as to the suitability of an invisibility cloak, and one can always appreciate the gift of a new sword."
Snape seemed almost uncertain for a moment, an emotional state Harry had been sure he was incapable of expressing calmly.
"I was actually referring to the less work oriented gifts," Snape said. "The jewellery for instance, the purely visible cloak, and those hideous boots your sister assured me were ideal."
"Oh, those are great too," Buffy shrugged. "But nothing says 'I care' like sword."
Buffy glanced down at her boots. "Damn! I wish Hagrid would clean up after his pets, these boots are going to need a thorough scrubbing when I get back."
Snape raised an eyebrow.
"Really my dear, have you forgotten that I am a wizard?" he asked, his acerbic self for a moment. Snape removed his wand from its holster and pointed it lazily at the shoes.
"Scourgify!"
Buffy's wiggled her toes as the spell removed the muck from the outside of the shoes. It also smoothed out some of the wrinkles in the leather, and repaired the scuffmarks.
"That is so totally brilliant," Buffy said, eyes wide in awe. She looked back up at Severus. "Marry me?"
"If had know that was all it required," Snape said, in the mocking tone reserved for first years and Gryffindors, "then I would have displayed my wand waving prowess sooner."
Harry responded to the tone of voice with a flinch, but Buffy, blushing at the innuendo punched Snape lightly on the shoulder.
"Seriously, though, I was very impressed. I probably shouldn't have been, but there you go."
Snape's face broke into a genuinely, and affectionately amused smile. Harry turned his mind to the book on Martial Arts meditation Dudley's boxing coach had given him and Dudley had thrown out. He began to concentrate carefully on each of the muscles in his feet then his legs, and on up his body until he was completely relaxed, curled with his arms around his knees. And then he was able to concentrate on his breathing and the coolness of the earth he was sitting on (which would probably result in grass stains... but oh well), and shut out all other thoughts and sounds. This was probably what Snape had meant for him to learn in the Occulmency lessons, but had never thought to explain.
'But we aren't thinking about that now, Harry,' he told himself, 'breathe in, breathe out.'
The quiet rhythm of his breathing, though, was only echoed by other sounds, from further away. Nothing scary, though, and Harry was fooled into opening his eyes. Buffy was smiling at Snape again, and Harry decided that he could just be glad that someone so nice had cause to smile.
"You had to get back, you said. It's still the best birthday I ever had."
"I have heard the stories, and I do not believe that that is a compliment. When compared to some of your previous birthdays, I really think something with a few more superlative and complimentary adjectives is appropriate." Snape paused, brushing an errant strand of Buffy's hair off her face, what looked to Harry's eyes to be a gentle smile of content on his face. "Besides, loath as I am to admit it, I actually enjoyed today, even the ice-skating."
Harry quickly closed his eyes again, concentrating on each of the muscles in his fingers, slowly relaxing them, deciding that this should be added to Gryffindor's pre-Quidditch routine, it really was helping him focus.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you can figure skate. You may have been out of practice, but you'll never convince me that you've never figure skated." Buffy sighed, leaning into Snape's arms, who obligingly closed them around her.
"You know as well as I do that martial arts convey a certain grace when on the ice."
"Hey, my ice-skating is from my pre slaying Dorothy Hamil stage."
"In normal circumstances that admission would be grounds for me to leave you."
"And after you gave me such a lovely shiny sword for my birthday."
"We shall let the matter stand for now. I'm afraid I must go; who knows what my Slytherins will have got up to. I will see you in two weeks time in London at our usual meeting place."
Buffy looked up at him quizzically. "You know, most people ask before they set up a date."
"Well it's a good thing neither of us can be described as most people then." Snape stepped back from Buffy before passionately kissing her. "I will make up my mind how exactly I want you to thank me for the gifts before we next meet."
And with that Snape swept off towards the castle, not looking back once, a fact that relieved Harry no end, as he was eminently visible from that direction.
"You can come out now, Harry." Buffy called out. Harry slowly exited his hiding place.
"I wasn't spying, I was already here when you arrived. How long did you know I was there?"
"Only about five minutes, Severus had me a little distracted." Buffy smiled at Harry gently. "Don't worry, the shock numbs slightly. When one of my friends found out about Severus, he was so far into, 'Oh, dear Lord,' I thought I had missed an apocalypse, or you know a shoe sale. So anyway how have you been?"
"Alright I guess; I don't feel anywhere near ready to face Voldemort yet."
"Good. When you think you're ready they always throw something extra at you, usually bad."
Buffy grimaced, "You would think that once in a while the Powers would cut us a break, but it's all: 'now you have to kill them when they have a soul,' and 'Death is your gift,' I even had to put up with a 'Let's just destroy your senior Prom dress to totally screw up your Yearbook.' That one still bites."
Harry just looked at her with a dazed expression on his face, Buffy had just spouted out more information in one breath than even Hermione was capable. That confirmed the whole Slayer issue; only superpowers could explain that ability.
"I'm afraid I have to set off now Harry, I want to spend the rest of my Birthday surrounded by powerful friends and many weapons. Don't let Severus know you saw us down here; I don't think it would be very good for your life expectancy. By the way, tell Neville from me that if the stories Melissa has been spreading are true I am suitably impressed and he should be wary of a mob reception. Not that I think he would mind this one much"
Buffy nodded once and activated a Portkey and disappeared, leaving a slightly bewildered Harry in her wake.
"Neville?"
When Harry awoke on the nineteenth of January he didn't want to get out of bed. He probably should have taken it as a sign of things come, but at the time he thought it was merely a reaction to the bitterly cold weather. He dragged himself of bed and ended up dressed, ready for classes and at breakfast on time, if not fully awake.
"How are you this morning?" Hermione asked, brightly.
Harry grunted.
"With that sort of attitude, Harry, you'll never have a good day."
"Well what's he got to look forward to then?" Ron said.
Hermione absently punched Ron in the arm and kept examining Harry.
"Ah, double potions after lunch?" Harry asked.
"Have you looked at the Teachers' table, this morning?" Hermione demanded in her practiced I know everything you don't voice.
Harry raised his head to see the teachers at the high table. It took him two scans to realise why he hadn't flinched yet, and therefore what was missing.
"Where's Snape?" He asked.
"I don't know," Hermione said.
"Maybe he got eaten by one of his potions," Ron suggested gleefully.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Potions don't eat people, Ron. They will occasionally vaporise, burn, corrode, possibly melt, or on rare occasions transubstantiate, they do not however eat."
Ron caught Harry's eye and made a face. Harry shook his, smiling. Before Hermione could defend herself, Dumbledore stood up and everyone fell silent.
"A small announcement this morning," he said. "Professor Snape will not be taking any classes today. Potions classes will be taken by another Professor. You are all expected to attend."
Ron's face fell.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked.
"You get to have a potions class without Snape. It's like my dream; do you know how many times I wished I could have a potions class without Snape? We've been saving up for years, well not Percy, but the rest of us, to you know, get rid of him permanently."
Hermione glared at him. "How dare you talk about a Professor like that? Even Snape, I mean I will miss him in class today. He's an amazing teacher, so intelligent and... commanding."
Ron choked on whatever protest he might have come up with and turned an unflattering shade of green. Harry sat up straighter and calmly continued eating. He was quiet looking forward to day without Snape and with Hermione deliberately taunting an unsuspecting Ron. At least, he hoped it was deliberate. He couldn't have dealt with the thought that more than one person liked Snape that way.
When Ron finished his last class for the day, Astronomical theory, he went searching for Harry and Hermione to ask them how much better potions could be without Snape. He eventually found in one corner of an unusually quiet Common room. Hermione was staring blankly at her prized copy of Hogwarts; A History, frowning as though it no longer held the comforting answers that it had before. Harry's hair was more dishevelled than Ron had ever seen, and as Ron sat down he thought there was some sort of muck in it.
"What's up with you two?" Ron asked. "You look like you've had the entire inventory of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes forced down your throats."
Hermione dazedly looked up, staring blearily at Ron.
"We had Professor Flitwick taking us for potions," she said, with a shudder. "I guess we never realised just how dangerous Potions could be without Professor Snape there."
Ron looked confused, and then elbowed Harry in the ribs.
"Harry you tell me, she's not serious. Having Snape for potions is a good thing?"
Harry shook his head, as though shaking out cobwebs. He absently rubbed at the scar on his forehead.
"He better than Professor Flitwick. You know how Snape stalks around the room being scary and making nasty comments, but, well, maybe that's not just why he does it. If even half the disasters in Potion's today could have been prevented because Snape was there I owe him a mental apology."
Harry took in a deep breath. "I didn't even know Flitwick could get angry like that, or, you know, scary."
Hermione nodded vigorously, "After the fifth explosion he just lost it. He turned all red, and his voice got even higher, but it wasn't at all funny. It was much scarier than Snape on a normal day; no one knew what to do. Luckily Susan Bones was knocked out in the first hour. The Bloody Baron brought Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey and that was the end of the class. Professor Flitwick was so enraged it took the two of to control him."
Ron stared at them, his mouth gaping open. "The bloody baron?"
"Snape had charged him with making sure his classroom wasn't destroyed."
Harry stood up, pushing his chair out. "I'm going for a walk before supper. I want to see if I can get the smell of burning flesh out of my nose. It isn't particularly appetising."
Ron just waved goodbye absently and watched Hermione, who had returned to staring blankly at her book as though it had the ability to make everything all right again.
Harry left the Castle and wandered in the direction of the lake; close to the castle in case anything happened, but away from Hagrid's hut and any possibly-escaped "projects." It was almost dark, and there wasn't going to be a moon, so Harry felt safely out of view. He found a comfortable patch of grass near a tree by the lake and dropped onto it. The squid was swimming lazily across the water and Harry waved to him.
The squid might have waved back, but not in any clearly obvious way. Harry leant his chin on his knees, stared at the water and thought about nothing. He didn't think about the fact that he only had other year and a half of school left, he didn't think about the intricacies that might exist in his prophecy, and he didn't think about what it was that had ended up in his hair.
His quiet reverie was interrupted by the disappointingly un-novel arrival of voices. Harry sighed and tucked himself further into a ball, relying on his dark robes and the tree at his back to keep him hidden, absently wondering if he was ever going to be able to enjoy a quiet walk without someone or something interrupting. The voices he heard were highly familiar, and Harry prepared himself for another round of scary mental images as Buffy and Snape came into view, the couple holding hands as they walked.
"This is exceedingly pleasant," Buffy purred contentedly. She grinned, teeth catching the little light, "You really know how to show a girl a good time, Sev: the thoughtful gifts, the dancing attendance, romantic meals. I'll have to have a birthday with you around more often."
Snape snorted. "I do not now nor have I ever demeaned myself to the level of 'dancing attendance' as you so quaintly put it. That implies a certain level of servitude that I abhor, and I doubt I could walk in those shoes, let alone maintain a rhythm. Also please refrain from calling me Sev. My name is Severus, kindly do not shorten it."
Harry inwardly cringed at the combination of Snape using the word please in an un-sarcastic manner, combined with telling them to call him by his first name; that had to be one for the history books.
"Well, grouchiness aside, this has still been the best birthday I've ever had. I can't believe you managed to convince everyone to play along. I was sure that with my track record with birthdays that Willow, Dawn and Giles would put me under as many protective spells and barriers they could manage. But to my surprise I was whisked away by a tall, dark, mysterious wizard for a luxurious date."
Harry saw Buffy stretch up onto her toes to kiss Snape on the nose before continuing. "Whatever should I do to repay you for your generosity?"
"I'm sure we can come up with something satisfactory." Snape said with an audible smirk in his voice. "Unfortunately I am due back at the castle in about an hour and a half so I'm afraid my reward will have to wait." Snape paused, "I do wish to warn you against humouring me as to the reception of my gifts. You will be the one to suffer at subsequent occasions if you have given a false impression of your taste."
Buffy rolled her eyes and effected his pompous turn of phrase for a moment, "I hardly thought you would be ignorant of my anvil like hints as to the suitability of an invisibility cloak, and one can always appreciate the gift of a new sword."
Snape seemed almost uncertain for a moment, an emotional state Harry had been sure he was incapable of expressing calmly.
"I was actually referring to the less work oriented gifts," Snape said. "The jewellery for instance, the purely visible cloak, and those hideous boots your sister assured me were ideal."
"Oh, those are great too," Buffy shrugged. "But nothing says 'I care' like sword."
Buffy glanced down at her boots. "Damn! I wish Hagrid would clean up after his pets, these boots are going to need a thorough scrubbing when I get back."
Snape raised an eyebrow.
"Really my dear, have you forgotten that I am a wizard?" he asked, his acerbic self for a moment. Snape removed his wand from its holster and pointed it lazily at the shoes.
"Scourgify!"
Buffy's wiggled her toes as the spell removed the muck from the outside of the shoes. It also smoothed out some of the wrinkles in the leather, and repaired the scuffmarks.
"That is so totally brilliant," Buffy said, eyes wide in awe. She looked back up at Severus. "Marry me?"
"If had know that was all it required," Snape said, in the mocking tone reserved for first years and Gryffindors, "then I would have displayed my wand waving prowess sooner."
Harry responded to the tone of voice with a flinch, but Buffy, blushing at the innuendo punched Snape lightly on the shoulder.
"Seriously, though, I was very impressed. I probably shouldn't have been, but there you go."
Snape's face broke into a genuinely, and affectionately amused smile. Harry turned his mind to the book on Martial Arts meditation Dudley's boxing coach had given him and Dudley had thrown out. He began to concentrate carefully on each of the muscles in his feet then his legs, and on up his body until he was completely relaxed, curled with his arms around his knees. And then he was able to concentrate on his breathing and the coolness of the earth he was sitting on (which would probably result in grass stains... but oh well), and shut out all other thoughts and sounds. This was probably what Snape had meant for him to learn in the Occulmency lessons, but had never thought to explain.
'But we aren't thinking about that now, Harry,' he told himself, 'breathe in, breathe out.'
The quiet rhythm of his breathing, though, was only echoed by other sounds, from further away. Nothing scary, though, and Harry was fooled into opening his eyes. Buffy was smiling at Snape again, and Harry decided that he could just be glad that someone so nice had cause to smile.
"You had to get back, you said. It's still the best birthday I ever had."
"I have heard the stories, and I do not believe that that is a compliment. When compared to some of your previous birthdays, I really think something with a few more superlative and complimentary adjectives is appropriate." Snape paused, brushing an errant strand of Buffy's hair off her face, what looked to Harry's eyes to be a gentle smile of content on his face. "Besides, loath as I am to admit it, I actually enjoyed today, even the ice-skating."
Harry quickly closed his eyes again, concentrating on each of the muscles in his fingers, slowly relaxing them, deciding that this should be added to Gryffindor's pre-Quidditch routine, it really was helping him focus.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you can figure skate. You may have been out of practice, but you'll never convince me that you've never figure skated." Buffy sighed, leaning into Snape's arms, who obligingly closed them around her.
"You know as well as I do that martial arts convey a certain grace when on the ice."
"Hey, my ice-skating is from my pre slaying Dorothy Hamil stage."
"In normal circumstances that admission would be grounds for me to leave you."
"And after you gave me such a lovely shiny sword for my birthday."
"We shall let the matter stand for now. I'm afraid I must go; who knows what my Slytherins will have got up to. I will see you in two weeks time in London at our usual meeting place."
Buffy looked up at him quizzically. "You know, most people ask before they set up a date."
"Well it's a good thing neither of us can be described as most people then." Snape stepped back from Buffy before passionately kissing her. "I will make up my mind how exactly I want you to thank me for the gifts before we next meet."
And with that Snape swept off towards the castle, not looking back once, a fact that relieved Harry no end, as he was eminently visible from that direction.
"You can come out now, Harry." Buffy called out. Harry slowly exited his hiding place.
"I wasn't spying, I was already here when you arrived. How long did you know I was there?"
"Only about five minutes, Severus had me a little distracted." Buffy smiled at Harry gently. "Don't worry, the shock numbs slightly. When one of my friends found out about Severus, he was so far into, 'Oh, dear Lord,' I thought I had missed an apocalypse, or you know a shoe sale. So anyway how have you been?"
"Alright I guess; I don't feel anywhere near ready to face Voldemort yet."
"Good. When you think you're ready they always throw something extra at you, usually bad."
Buffy grimaced, "You would think that once in a while the Powers would cut us a break, but it's all: 'now you have to kill them when they have a soul,' and 'Death is your gift,' I even had to put up with a 'Let's just destroy your senior Prom dress to totally screw up your Yearbook.' That one still bites."
Harry just looked at her with a dazed expression on his face, Buffy had just spouted out more information in one breath than even Hermione was capable. That confirmed the whole Slayer issue; only superpowers could explain that ability.
"I'm afraid I have to set off now Harry, I want to spend the rest of my Birthday surrounded by powerful friends and many weapons. Don't let Severus know you saw us down here; I don't think it would be very good for your life expectancy. By the way, tell Neville from me that if the stories Melissa has been spreading are true I am suitably impressed and he should be wary of a mob reception. Not that I think he would mind this one much"
Buffy nodded once and activated a Portkey and disappeared, leaving a slightly bewildered Harry in her wake.
"Neville?"
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