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Grotesque Puppetry


By Lord Raa


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Disclaim-me-do: I pity the fools who don't recognise the rules


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Part 1


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"Keitaro-sempai missed dinner," Shinobu Maehara mused as she looked at the clock. "It's nearly bedtime, but I suppose I could take him up something to eat."

As the blue haired girl carried the few snacks she had managed to whip up to her manager's room, she heard a soft sigh. Shinobu listened in to hear her sempai talk in a depressed tone.

"Damn it all, why did they have all gang up on me like that? It's not like I wanted to fall face first into Shinobu-chan's crotch," Keitaro complained. "Besides, it's Su's fault for leaving that banana skin there."

The chef winced at that. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

"Keitaro-sempai, are you in there?"

"What? Oh, hi, Shinobu-chan. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you'd like something to eat. You missed dinner earlier," the young girl asked.

There was a pause as Keitaro looked at his clock. "Damn, I did miss dinner. I would, but I don't want to bother you, Shinobu-chan, I'll get some cup ramen."

"There's no need, Sempai, I've brought you something."

"Oh, well let me get the door," the landlord smiled as he stood up. He opened the door and thanked his youngest tenant for the food. "I'll wash these up later, Shinobu-chan. I appreciate your kindness."

"Y-you're welcome, Sempai," Shinobu blushed before leaving for her own room.

Keitaro locked his door again and sat back down. He slowly ate the rice balls that he'd been given, his appetite had still not returned.

"What am I going to do? My parents think I'm a failure, I have no idea who that promise girl is, most of my tenants hate me and my grades are stinking up the prep school. I might as well end it all now," the bespectacled young man sighed. "I suppose that I should give it another day, see how tomorrow turns out. If it sucks like today, then I'll jack it all in."

Noting that he'd finished his food, Keitaro turned in for the night. "I'll deal with the plate tomorrow."


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"URASHIMA!" Naru and Motoko bellowed in unison as they banged on the locked door. "GET UP YOU LAZY SWINE!"

"W-what? What's going on? Is there a problem?" the sleepy ronin asked as he opened the door to reveal two irate teenagers.

"Yes there's a problem," Motoko growled. "There's a perverted thief on the loose! Some of my clothes have been stolen!"

"Mine too!" Naru added. "And we want something done about it. Unless you're the one who's raiding the laundry..."

The auburn haired girl gave a subtle signal to her friend, who then pulled out a pair of panties from the inside of her gi and placed them on Keitaro's bed.

"What's this here?!" the kendoist demanded as she pointed to the plain white cotton undergarment on Keitaro's pillow. "That explains why you keep your door locked, you sick little deviant!"

"I'm shocked and appalled," Naru said with self righteous indignation. "I want you gone, you perverted freak."

"Hey! I didn't bring them in here!" Keitaro protested, but his tenants wouldn't listen.

Instead the girls continued with their nefarious scheme to rid themselves of the young Urashima. "Hey Kitsune! We found the panty thief!"

"You did?" the voluptuous girl asked with a look of relief on her face. "I'm so glad, now I can get my clothes washed without fear of them being used as a trophy by some perv."

"Hey! It wasn't me, I haven't been out of here all night!" the landlord insisted.

"Then how do you explain this?" Motoko asked suspiciously.

"I never touched them!"

"All in favour getting rid of the pervert raise your hand!" Naru said, neatly ignoring the ronin's denials. Her hand shot up as if it was spring loaded.

Motoko and Kitsune stuck their hands up.

Kaolla walked up to the group and asked what was going on.

"We're taking a vote, Su," Kitsune explained.

"A vote? Are they tasty? I want one too!" the blonde said as her hand went up.

"See, it seems that the majority have spoken. And we want you gone," the kendoist sneered.

"Fine," Keitaro sighed. "I'll be gone by the end of the day, just let me pack my stuff up."

The conspirators left, feeling rather smug about their victory.

The bespectacled young man felt like the gods had taken a crap right on his head. Again.

"Damn it, it's not fair. It's not like I'm a terrible person," he muttered as he started to pack up his things. "Well, I suppose that on the bright side, it's made my decision for me. Maybe Aunt Haruka has got some sleeping pills I can OD on..."

Shinobu was eavesdropping on the scene and gasped softly. 'S-s-sempai is going to kill himself? I have to tell Haruka-san!'

The chef quickly left to use the phone.


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Keitaro slung his bags onto his shoulder and exited the Hinata Sou for what he and his former tenants thought was the last time.

As he slowly walked down the stairs, he was sure he could hear someone laughing at his misfortune, but decided to try to maintain some semblance of dignity by not turning back.

Continuing on his trek, the ronin noticed that there was a female figure standing outside near his aunt's teashop.

"I wonder if that's Aunt Haruka," he mused. "I wonder whose side she's going to take... No, I better not mention what's happened, she'll only hit me for making a fuss about nothing."

Keitaro reached the teashop and paused when he saw that it was Haruka who was waiting there.

"You alright, Keitaro? You look a little tired," the smoker observed.

"Yeah, just got a little bit of a headache. You got some aspirin or something?" the student asked with a weak smile.

"Yeah, come on in, I'll get you something," Haruka smiled before disappearing to get some medication.

Keitaro nodded and took a seat at the counter. Pushing up his glasses, the ronin let out a tired sigh as he rubbed his face.

"You sure you're alright, Keitaro, you don't look so good," the teashop proprietor said as she handed some heavy duty over the counter painkillers and a glass of water to her nephew. "These are good, take two and you should be fine."

"Thanks, Aunt Haruka," the brown haired young man smiled. He was about to take the capsules when he noticed that his vision was blurring.

Blinking, Keitaro shook his head to clear the fog and swallowed his medication. "Thanks, Aunt Haruka."

"So then, what happened to bring you down here with all your stuff? You get a better offer elsewhere?"

"No, I..., it's nothing, just me being silly," the ronin smiled sadly. "Thanks for the help, I'll be off now. See you around."

The younger Urashima leant down to pick up his bags but overreached and fell forward onto his face.

"KEITARO!" Haruka shouted as she rushed to her nephew's aid. "Keitaro, can you hear me?"

"...pink elephants... they're eating the yellow blackbirds..." Keitaro mumbled before he passed out.


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At the hospital, Haruka was talking with the doctors about the few minutes she saw Keitaro before he passed out.

"Well, he has been under a lot of stress lately, a couple of months ago, he took over the Hinata Sou from his grandmother while he took his studies to get into Toudai," she explained as her hands inched towards her cigarettes.

"I think something had happened today before I saw him. He came into my teashop complaining of a headache. He's had two of these," Haruka said as she handed over her ibuprofen/codeine tablets. "Is he going to be ok?"

"He should be, but we need to do some more tests," the doctor explained. "Do you have any idea what happened before he met you? He's not been in any fights recently, well, as far as we can tell."

"I don't think his been fighting, but he's not the type to throw a punch at anyone," Haruka explained. "Can we continue this where I can smoke? I haven't had one in ages."

"It's not really appropriate for you to smoke here, Ms Urashima, but we'll continue this outside.


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Keitaro lay in his hospital bed wondering what was going on.

"I don't remember being ill... Nope, no new scars," he mused after giving himself a quick once over.

A young doctor approached him on the ward. "Hi there, I'm Dr. Saotome, what seems to be the problem?"

"I don't think there's a problem. I remember leaving the Hinata Sou and then it starts to go a bit fuzzy. Was I in an accident?" the ronin looked up and asked.

"No, not according to your chart. But there is something interesting here. Follow my finger," the raven haired physician instructed.

As Keitaro's eyes tracked the moving digit, the blue eyed doctor made mental notes as to how they were performing. "Ok, then, could you try moving your toes for me?"

The ronin did as he was asked.

"Ok, could you try your left big toe and work down to the pinkie for me?" Dr. Saotome asked. He frowned when his patient's toes started to move in unison. "Ok, now can you lift your leg and hold it off the bed for me?"

Keitaro shakily held his leg 20 centimetres off the bed.

"Please, hold it still for me."

"I'm trying," the bespectacled youth insisted. "I don't know why it's shaking like this."

"That's ok, Mr. Urashima," the doctor smiled. "Have you ever had this problem before? Blacking out, poor coordination?"

"I don't think so. Though I think that I've have been clumsier in the last few months and had more accidents. Slips, trips and falls, that sort of thing," Keitaro explained.

"I see," the young doctor nodded. "Well, I think that we need to do some more tests, but you should be ok if you get some rest."

"Thanks, Doctor Saotome."


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Dr. Saotome stepped outside to speak with his patient's relative. "So then, Mrs. Urashima, do you know of what conditions your... cousin lived in at the Inn?"

"Cousin?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure that you're cousins. Unless I read the wrong chart and you are his aunt..."

'He's trying to get on your good side, Haruka, don't be fooled by his charm, good looks or the fact that he's a doctor at such a young age...' the smoker warned herself. "I'm his aunt, though it was nice of you to try to make me feel better, Doctor...?"

"You got me there, Mrs. Urashima," the raven haired doctor laughed. "I'm Dr. Saotome. But in all seriousness, does Keitaro suffer a lot of head trauma? I ask because until I get to see the results of the scans, it looks like he's suffered a brain injury."

"What sort of brain injury?"

"The sort of thing you'd expect to see in an experienced heavyweight boxer or car crash victim. He doesn't look like the sort to box and there aren't any bruised or cuts that you get from being in an accident that would cause that sort of damage," Saotome explained.

"I see, well, he has been under a lot of stress lately, and one of his tenants thinks that he might have been suicidal," Haruka explained in a low voice.

'Sounds like domestic abuse... I need to do some more tests before I tell her what I think has been happening,' the doctor mused. "Thank you, Mrs. Urashima, you've been a great help."

"It's 'Miss Urashima'," the smoker explained to the bowing young man. "I'm not married."

"Thank you once again. Miss Haruka. Here's my card, call me if you have any questions."


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Over the course of the day, Keitaro was scanned, poked, prodded and generally tested by Dr. Saotome and his team.

"So then, can I go home soon?" the ronin asked hopefully.

"Should be ok to go back home in a day or two," the raven haired physician smiled. "Where is home for you?"

"It's... oh, now I remember, I kinda got kicked out of where I was staying," Keitaro explained with an embarrassed look on his face.

"I see," the doctor mused. He turned to where Haruka was standing. "Well, I'm sure that your aunt will be able to help you out."

"Yeah, just let me make a phone call," said the smoker.


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"Moshi-moshi, Hinata Sou," Shinobu spoke into the phone.

"¬Hi Shinobu-chan, it's Haruka here. Are you free to talk for a few minutes?¬"

"Yes, there's something I wanted to tell you, Haruka-san, but I haven't had the chance. Keitaro-sempai's been forced out," the chef explained in a low voice. "I don't know what happened, but Naru-sempai and the others seem happy that he's gone. The only other one here that's not is Kaolla. She says she misses her toy."

"¬I see. Well, I need to have words with all of you there. I'll be there at dinner time, ok?¬"

"Yes, I'll set you a place, Haruka-san."


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Dr. Saotome approached Haruka as she smoked outside the main hospital building.

"Urashima-san, I've got some bad news for you."

"What is it, Doctor?" the smoking woman asked.

The black haired young man gestured to a more private spot. "Your nephew, Keitaro, do you know if he was physically abused when he was a child?"

"No, he wasn't," Haruka replied in a threatening tone.

"I see, sorry about that, but the only other thing I can think of that would have caused his brain injury."

"And that is?"

"He's getting into an inordinate number of accidents over the last few months. I'm told that Keitaro is also aspiring to attend Tokyo University, so that stress probably isn't helping him."

"He was also a little depressed," the smoker added as she exhaled a plume of smoke.

"He didn't mention that to me. What makes you think that he's depressed?" Dr. Saotome asked.

"One of the tenants at the inn has a crush on him, and she told me that she overheard him say something along those lines," Haruka replied.

"These accidents could be a cry for help. Is there anything else I should know about?"

"That's about it, I think," the brunette said apologetically.

"It's not your fault he's been treated like this, but in order to aid his recovery, what we need to do is bring him out of his depression without artificially changing his brain chemistry," Dr. Saotome said as he scratched the back of his head.

"What do you suggest, Doctor?"

"Keep him from drinking alcohol, try to reduce his stress, find someone to be nice to him in an adult manner."

"'Be nice to him in an adult manner'?" Haruka repeated incredulously.

"Yes," the physician nodded. "The poor lad's clearly not getting any. Hell, he's probably got blue balls. I'm not suggesting that you sleep with him, it's just something that you could look into arranging for him."

"Well, I can't say that I ever thought that I'd be arranging for Keitaro to visit the red light district," Haruka chuckled.

"Sorry that it's fallen on you, Urashima-san, but as the only member of his family that cares about him, you've drawn the short straw by default."

"I'm pretty sure that his little sister cares about him..."

"I'm sure that she does, but she's not really in a position to help. Having his family around could make things stressful for him," Dr. Saotome explained. "Not that I'm suggesting that sympathy sex is the way forward for Keitaro, but having him feel good about something is the best option for helping him with his depression."


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The evening meal at the Hinata Sou was a completely different affair from lunch; gone was the semi-joyous atmosphere that resulted from the manager's exile.

"So then, why was Keitaro carrying all his stuff earlier?" Haruka asked with neutral look on her face.

"Err..."

"He decided that he no longer wanted to manage the inn," Motoko answered. "And quite frankly, we like it that way."

"Yes, we can go back to enjoying things how they were," a rosy-cheeked Kitsune smiled.

"Have you been drinking, Kitsune?" Haruka asked with a slight twitch in her left eye.

"No, not that much... I was jus' celebrating the fact that we've got outta paying this month's rent," the fox-eyed girl smirked. "And maybe the next couple of months', too."

"Well, I'm glad that it's all working out for you girls," the teashop proprietor smiled falsely.

"I'm not happy," Kaolla piped up. "I wanted to play with Keitaro. I wouldn't have voted if I knew he was going away."

The ambient noise level dropped to nothing.

Haruka turned her head to where the blonde was sitting. "Voted? What do you mean by 'voted', Su-chan?"

"I only wanted to vote because I thought it would be tasty. I didn't know that Keitaro was being kicked out. He was fun to play with," the princess sighed in reminiscence.

"I see. Well then, thanks for dinner, I've got to get back home. I'll see you tomorrow," the smoker said in a sickly sweet tone.

After Kaolla bounced off to her room and Shinobu cleared the table, the older residents looked at each other.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Kitsune mused. "I think we could be in serious trouble if Haruka finds out what we did."

"What we did was for the harmony of the Inn," Motoko replied stoically. "A male presence was a disruptive influence."

"I can't say that I'm sorry that the groping, peeping and grabbing is going to stop," Naru added. "But Haruka will understand, won't she?"

Unfortunately, no-one had an answer for her.


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Haruka was not pleased with what she had learned from visit to the inn. Sitting down at her desk with a bottle of sake, she lit up a cigarette and pondered her next course of action.

"They're my friends, but damn, they shouldn't have hurt Keitaro like that. How could I have been so blind to what he was going through?"

Stretching, the brunette continued her thoughts. "I really need teach them a lesson about biting off more than they can chew. Perhaps I should contact Motoko's sister she would know how best to punish her and the others."

Haruka picked up her phone and dialled the number for the Aoyama clan.

"Hello, I would like to speak with Tsuruko Aoyama, please. It's Haruka Urashima speaking."

"¬One moment, please.¬"

"¬Tsuruko Aoyama speaking, how may I help you?¬"

"Hello, I'm calling to let you know about the behaviour of your sister, Motoko, towards my nephew, Keitaro Urashima," Haruka explained.

"¬Keitaro Urashima? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that name.¬"

"Keitaro is the manager and landlord of the Hinata Sou where your sister is staying."

"¬Ah yes, now I remember. She mentioned that she wasn't happy with that arrangement. Has she decided that she wants to come home yet?¬"

"Not quite, Aoyama-san," Haruka said as she tapped some ash off her cigarette. "I was wondering what the tenets of the Shinmeiryu School have to say about ganging up on victims of circumstances."

"¬What do you mean?¬" Tsuruko asked with a frown.

"Well, my nephew is one of the unluckiest, clumsiest people you're likely to meet. When he first took over at the inn from his grandmother, he didn't know that it had been turned into an all girls' dormitory."

"¬Hmmm, while I can see why my sister might be a little upset with that development, I don't see what the change in management has to do with your call, Urashima-san.¬"

Haruka steeled herself. "I'm not one to tell tales about people, and I do like your sister, but I'm pretty sure that she had a part in hospitalising my nephew."

"¬Go on,¬" the married Aoyama sister said in an even tone. "¬I'm intrigued as to what my little sister has been getting up to.¬"

"It seems that some of the residents decided that he should go as soon as possible. Though, that was after causing him sufficient harm to injure his brain and send him to the hospital," the smoker added angrily. She stubbed out her cigarette. "As you can imagine, I'm not too happy about that."

"¬No, I can see why. I think that it's time for me to visit my sister. I would like to have words with her about her treatment of non-martial artists,¬" Tsuruko said with no hint of anger in her voice. "¬I shall be there tomorrow morning, Urashima-san.¬"


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To be continued...?

There, I don't suppose you expected this, did you?

It was previewed on Hawk's forum and pre-read by Chi Vayne.

Do you have any questions?


Until laterer comes.