Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter, Prisoner of Hogwarts

The Return to the Dursleys

by Quillian 1 review

Just as the chapter title says...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst, Drama, Parody - Characters: Harry - Warnings: [!] [?] - Published: 2005-07-14 - Updated: 2005-07-14 - 4231 words

4Funny
DISCLAIMER: See Ch. 1.

A/N: I just wanted to mention how this story probably won't be very long. I'd say that it would be about 10-15 chapters.


Chapter 3: The Return to the Dursleys

Harry Potter did his best to keep his anger under control and his thoughts to himself. This wasn't exactly easy, especially after the events that had happened over the past year. It wouldn't do to have all his immense power cause some sort of accident, such as blowing up the very car he was in, for example.

On the other hand, it had been self-satisfying to pull off an escape like that. He did that to avoid having to fight his way through hordes of stupid people begging for forgiveness. It had been pretty funny... well, for him, anyway.

Harry had his reasons for playing along with this charade, of going to the Dursleys' for the summer then back to Hogwarts. If Dumbledore was low enough to try to Stun Harry, who knew what other tricks he would try to make sure that the precious Boy-Who-Lived wouldn't escape and be free on his own? For all Harry knew, he could transform into a griffin and fly out of Hogwarts, only to end up crashing into some invisible barrier. It was best if he knew what there was to deal with first before blindly trying to escape.

As the taxi pulled up Number 4, Privet Drive, Harry remembered why he chose to stay with the Dursleys this time. Apart from the main fact that the Weasleys and everyone else he once trusted had sunk even lower, this way he could... straighten some things out with the Dursleys before he finally left them forever.

After the car came to a complete stop and Harry paid the driver, he got out and walked up to the front door, a devious smile forming as he went along.

'This ought to be good.'



The Dursleys considered themselves the perfect family, and would have always denied to anyone how they didn't have any relatives with magical powers. Currently, they had Aunt Marge staying over, and the four of them sat around a table laden with delicious food, laughing about that Potter boy.

The Dursleys had gotten a letter the previous summer notifying them of Harry's imprisonment, since he was their ward. They had been beside themselves with glee, and couldn't stop being happy about it and joking about it. They figured he had finally got what was coming to him.

Boy, were they in for a rude awakening.

When the doorbell rang, Mrs. Dursley excused herself from the table and went to see who it was.

When she opened it, she found herself looking eye-to-eye with what she considered to be the face of evil.

"Hi, Aunt Petunia," Harry Potter said innocently. "I'm ba-ack."

Petunia Dursley would have screamed at the top of her lungs at that very moment, but she was so choked up from shock that she couldn't find her voice.

Harry then walked inside and shut the door behind him before anyone outside could see what was going on. Curious as to the commotion, Dudley then came waddling in ('Did he actually lose some weight?' Harry thought incredulously), saw his feared cousin facing his frightened mother, and ran back into the kitchen screaming while covering his enormous rear with his chubby hands.

Charging in like a bull, a lobster-faced Vernon Dursley found what had caused all the commotion.

"YOU!" he roared.

Harry smiled grimly. "Me."

"What are YOU doing here?" he demanded, eyeing him unpleasantly. "They told us you'd been sent to prison for life for attacking and trying to kill someone!"

"Yes, you must have broken out!" Mrs. Dursley said gleefully. "I can put you back in prison if I report you!"

"Well, they are idiots," Harry said with a grimace. "They just exonerated me yesterday. My whole 'trial' was a farce and a sham, and the corrupt Minister of Magic and his top lackey are now under arrest for being traitors. I also killed the bitch who impersonated me... in self-defense, of course. Sorry, but it looks as though you were wrong."

As predicted, the three Dursleys looked grumpy, having suffered a major disappointment.

"Wait a minute," his aunt snapped. "If Voldemort's dead, then why are you here again? You don't need to stay here for your own protection anymore. I figured you'd stay with those redheads or something..."

"ENOUGH!" Harry yelled, the reference to the Weasleys suddenly snapping his patience. As a result of his burst of magic, a large crack formed in the wall next to him, running from the floor to the ceiling. Sighing, Harry used some wandless magic to repair it, making it look as though it never happened.

"Why aren't I staying with those... Weasleys/?" Here the word was ground out with such animosity which they had never heard him use before. "Here's why. One of them was the person who I /allegedly attacked, and he's hardly one of the most honest people in the world. He made a mountain out of a molehill, painting himself as the victim and making me look evil. The rest of his family was more interested in blaming me than finding out the actual truth. They even convoluted everything that ever happened to guarantee that I would be placed in prison. Now that I'm innocent, the idiots will be practically tripping over themselves to try and beg me for the forgiveness which I'm not going to give them. It was either that I stay with them or with you. I chose the lesser of two evils."

"What is this nonsense you're barking about, boy!" Aunt Marge barked.

A devious grin formed on Harry's face. "What am I talking about?" Harry asked in response. "Why don't you see for yourself?"

"What's there to see, boy?" Aunt Marge boomed, laughing. "You shouldn't have much at all! I rather doubt your drunkard parents had anything much to leave behind after they got themselves killed -"

"SHUT UP, YOU /BITCH/!" Harry roared, causing her to literally jump out of her seat. "Those lies have gone on for long enough. You think my parents were worthless drunks? Allow me to kill that misunderstanding right here and now. My parents were righteous, noble, popular members of the community which they lived in. My miserable aunt and uncle told you that because they hated my parents for no good reason, and people are rarely fair towards people they hate. They sacrificed themselves fighting a terrible evil which has plagued people for years!" Here, an unsettling silence reigned momentarily.

"In fact..." here Harry smiled grimly. "Being 'family' and all that, I'll let you in on what my horrible relatives have been hiding all these years. Magic exists, with entire communities hidden away from the mundane people such as yourselves. In every country, autonomous countries live in separation from the world you know. Just a few days ago, I finally killed a powerful Dark wizard who has been terrorizing people ever since my parents were students themselves, with such a horrible reputation that people were afraid to speak his name."

Aunt Petunia gave a dramatic gasp, Uncle Vernon looked ready to explode, Dudley looked fearfully at the scene, and Aunt Marge just stared incredulously at Harry...

...before she burst out laughing.

"You must be a drunkard too!" she chortled.

"You want proof, huh?" Harry asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes now. "Oh, I'll give you proof!"

Seeing the lobster on Aunt Marge's plate, Harry transfigured it into a baby Blast-Ended Skrewt. All four Dursleys looked at the ugly thing for a moment before letting out awful screams of fright and revulsion.

Satisfied that he got the point across, Harry transfigured it back to exactly how it was before. However, just then, Ripper entered the room, growling at Harry as he advanced.

"Get him, Ripper!" Aunt Marge shrieked, completely panicked now.

"Marge, NO!" Petunia shouted, but it was too late.

Barking, Ripper lunged at Harry. But as quick as a flash, Harry transformed into his griffin form, frightening the Dursleys even more. Ripper yelped in mid-flight, but being unable to move his direction in mid-air, landed on the ground rather awkwardly. Just for show, Harry screeched as a griffin, properly frightening the dog into retreat. This caused the Dursleys to all scream once again.

Once Ripper was well out of sight, Harry transformed back. "Were those sufficient examples... or do you want me to demonstrate some more?"

A terrible silence reigned in the kitchen. Taking that as a "no," Harry said, "I thought so."

With that, Harry adjourned from the kitchen and went up to his room.



Waiting there was Hedwig, sitting on Harry's trunk.

"Hedwig!" Harry cried joyously. Hedwig flew over with a screech and nipped on Harry's ear, obviously just as happy. However, as Harry looked a little closer, he could see that Hedwig lost a little weight.

"Where have you been for the last year?" Harry asked, concerned.

Hedwig gave no sort of vocal response but looked into Harry's eyes. Catching on, Harry used mild Legilimency on his avian companion.



Hedwig had been in the Owlrey for the rest of the summer after Harry was sent to Azkaban. She didn't know what had happened, although she had some feelings of unease.

Finally, the new term started in September, and the students returned. One afternoon during the first week of school, Hermione Granger had come up to the Owlrey, obviously looking for Hedwig.

"Oh, there you are," Hermione said, looking up and seeing her. "Hedwig, could you please come with me?"

Thinking that Harry wouldn't have minded, Hedwig hooted in the affirmative and fluttered down onto Hermione's outstretched arm. Hopefully now, she would get some answers.

As they entered the Gryffindor common room, Hedwig saw something which nearly made her fall off Hermione's arm and fall flat on the ground.

The Gryffindors were burning pictures of Harry, and even awful effigies of him, some even singing parodies of drinking songs whose new lyrics said not-so-nice things about him.

"Hey, 'Mione!"/ Ron shouted as he came up to them from a table by an open window, where his and Hermione's homework was spread out. "You're taking Potter's owl?"/

"Yeah, she just came with me! Good riddance with that traitor, I don't know what /any of us ever saw in him!"/

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. With a loud, angry screech that made everyone nearby jolt, Hedwig launched herself off of Hermione's arm (scratching it in the process), cuffed Ron around the head in mid-flight, and seeing a special new edition of /Hogwarts, A History /among Hermione's possessions, decided to leave a little "present" right on the book's shiny new cover.

Had she been anatomically capable of doing so, Hedwig would have smiled evilly and laughed to herself as she soared out the open window, Hermione's screams of outrage echoing behind her.




Harry chuckled as the memory ended. "That was evil, Hedwig, yet well-deserved. Good girl."

Hedwig hooted smugly.

"So, where did you stay?"

Once again, Harry used Legilimency to delve into a past memory of Hedwig's.



Hedwig soared over the Forbidden Forest, looking for a place to perch.

Suddenly, she saw a flash of something white. A centaur!

Hedwig remembered this particular centaur, whose acquaintance Harry had made. His name was Firenze. Now that Trelawny was reinstated as Divination Professor, Firenze had retired back to the forest, where the other centaurs had put up little fuss.

Hedwig fluttered down onto a fallen log, hooting softly. Firenze looked up from the arrows whose heads he was sharpening, and greeted her. "Hello, owl. You are Harry Potter's companion, are you not?"

Hedwig bobbed her head up and down, confirming this.

Firenze/ gave out a long sigh. "I have heard the news, and am not all that surprised by their foolishness. Do you need a place to stay until everything is set straight?"/

/Another affirmative response from Hedwig./

"Very well./ I will make sure nothing befalls you. Harry Potter has helped me in the past, and so I shall help him now."/



"I must be sure to thank Firenze," Harry said, mainly to himself. Looking at Hedwig again, he said, "I have a few other thank-you messages I want to send. You up for some letters to deliver?"

Hedwig hooted happily; it had been so long since she had last done anything of the sort.

Harry spent the next several minutes, Harry wrote out letters to Snape, Neville, Luna and Firenze, thanking them all for supporting and helping him one way or another. Harry also wrote out certain requests to Gringotts that certain items he inherited from Sirius be transferred into his classmates' vaults, which he selected based upon their interests. For Snape, he enclosed instructions for locating and entering Voldemort's private potions ingredients store, which would be a veritable treasure trove to the Potions Master.

Harry had barely handed the messages to Hedwig when she hooted farewell, took the letters, and flew out the open window.

Turning to the trunk, Harry found all of his possessions in there, safe and sound. They actually kept good care of possessions! 'Thank God for small miracles,' he thought.

He also found his wand, in good condition, when a thought occurred to him. He was now capable of wandless magic, but he should still use a wand, for the sake of appearances and as not to arouse any sort of suspicion.

Harry put all the things from the people who betrayed him at the absolute bottom of his trunk, not sure whether to destroy them, dispose of them, give them back or donate them. He'd decide on that later.

Harry then noticed a letter bearing the Hogwarts seal which he had missed before. It was a list of books and supplies for the next year, plus an official apology from the staff at Hogwarts. Harry snorted at it and tossed it aside.

Another thought occurred to him; did he want to get bombarded with owls from people begging him for forgiveness? No, he certainly did not. He put up wards around the property to prevent all owls from reaching him except Hedwig, or anything from Snape, Neville or Luna.

Feeling confined, he got up and decided to go for a walk outside.



No sooner had he reached the main floor of the house than was he confronted by his uncle. "Now see here, boy... I've put up with all this nonsense over the years... but if you dare try anything this summer, whether Aunt Marge is here or not..."

"Even if I did try anything, what could you do about it?" Harry asked evenly. "I destroyed Voldemort and half his minions without much trouble, and no one in the wizarding world wants to get me any angrier than I already am. Believe me, if I had any real choice, I wouldn't be here at all."

Now feeling emboldened, Harry turned the tables back on his uncle. "It also turns out that the minimum age at which a student could perform magic over the summer was reduced to sixteen years of age, in light of the new threat of Voldemort's return, so I could perform as much magic as I want and not get so much as a scrap of parchment about it from the Ministry. As tempting as it can be for me to unfairly take advantage of the situation, I'm not the kind of person who would just do that." (He paused for a moment to let these words sink in.) "I'll stay out of your way as much as possible, and come September first, you'll never have to see me ever again."

Harry could tell that his uncle liked this very much. "Fine. I can do with that, boy. But before you go, I want payment for having to care for you all these years."

Harry couldn't believe his ears. After all that they had done to him instead of for him, they still expected something in return? Were they that delusional?

"Payment for 'caring for me all these years'?" Harry asked incredulously. "How you treated me screams of abuse and neglect! Minimal food and clothing, being made to do all the chores, shoving me into that closet under the stairs... you would have been arrested for that within a heartbeat if people knew about it!"

"Listen, boy," Mr. Dursley growled, "It's not my fault your parents got themselves blown up!"

"No, you listen to /me/," Harry retorted, and incredibly, Mr. Dursley found himself unable to break off eye contact from his nephew. "My parents did not plan on being murdered! Stuff like that happens, that's life! Sad but true! And while we're discussing that, let me ask you this: Supposing that you and your wife had been murdered, and your son had to live with me and my family, do you think he would have been abused and neglected the way I have by you all these years?"

When Mr. Dursley failed to respond, Harry pressed further. "What is it about my parents that made you Aunt Petunia slander them so much, anyway? Was it fear of them and their abilities? Was it jealousy and envy that they had abilities you didn't have? Was it just some stupid argument left unresolved? What reasons could you have to possibly justify treating me the way you did?"

A terrible silence followed this, and Mr. Dursley's mouth worked to come up with something, but no sound came out. Harry took that as a sign of victory. Satisfied, Harry made for the door.

However, he was halfway out the door when he stopped in his tracks, thinking about something. After a moment, he had a plan fully formulated. Slowly turning back to face his abominable uncle, Harry looked him right in the eye. "You want repayment? Fine... I have a deal for you. Leave me in peace for the remainder of time that I am here, and I will leave you some gold as repayment for your hospitality. Cross me, and you get nothing. Take it or leave it."

Harry could practically see the gears in his uncle's mind working, and after what seemed like a long time, Mr. Dursley grudgingly accepted with a forced nod.

"Fine then. It's settled."

With that, he finally departed.

Mr. Dursley turned away, his face a gamut of emotions. He then saw his wife staring out into space, tears running down her face. "He's right..." she whispered fearfully. "He's absolutely right..."



And thus, the rest of the summer passed by for Harry with spending as much time out of the house as possible. He went places, but only occasionally did he go to Diagon Alley. In disguise, Harry would go to Gringotts and make arrangements to go somewhere once he was out of the clutches of the wizarding world, so he could have a place to escape to in the Muggle world once it was all over. He had also gone into his family's vault, and found a special magical trunk that could only be opened by a Potter, which also had nasty security surprises in store for any intruders. Considering he was going back to a school full of traitors whom he couldn't trust, this wasn't such a bad idea.

For his birthday, Harry went all over Muggle London to special sights he had never seen before. Museums, parks, and other special sights he visited, enjoying himself the entire time. It was also easier for him to avoid running into other wizards scattered throughout London, thanks to a purchase he made in Knockturn Alley not so long ago. He now possessed a special ring which disguised his magical aura, which Harry considered to be a very good investment. It was only considered Dark by the Ministry because it prevented them from meticulously keeping tabs from everyone, being who they were. With his new attitude, Harry felt it was all justified.

Earlier that morning, he got something from Neville and Luna. Neville had sent a pocket-size book full of info on plants (both mundane and magical) which could save your life in desperate situations, while Luna sent illustrated manuscripts of the alleged creatures she often thought about. Both had their uses, so Harry was thankful for them.


The rest of the summer passed without any incidents... except for one.

It was the middle of the night after August 30, and Vernon Dursley was slowly edging his way into his nephew's darkened room with a butcher's knife in his hand. For years, he had put up with this meddlesome boy, and now, he was going to end it. He figured that the boy must have had the gold stashed away in his trunk, and so he could take the gold after the business was done.

Mr. Dursley was barely a foot away when Harry moaned in his sleep, rolled over to face him... and opened his eyes.

The fat beefy man froze on the spot. He was essentially caught in the act! What would he do now?

However, the boy's vibrant green eyes were unfocused, and after a moment, his eyelids drooped back down, and he continued to sleep.

Feeling he had pressed his luck enough already, Mr. Dursley wisely exited the boy's room and went back to bed, acting as though nothing had happened.


However, Harry was certainly awake, and was fuming. So his uncle tried to kill him just at the very end, did he? Just when it was almost over with everything fine? Oh no. No, no, no.

But just then, a small smirk found its way onto Harry's face.

It was a good thing he just happened to meet a few leprechauns in the Leaky Cauldron a few weeks back...


The next morning, Harry gave no indication of knowing what may or may not have happened the previous night. However, Mr. Dursley was practically sweating bullets under his shirt during the whole time Harry was at the breakfast table. Harry noticed this, but did nothing to suggest that he did indeed notice his uncle's nervous behavior.

Harry excused himself from the table, saying he would be out for the day. Then again, he had been out every day, so this had practically become routine. A couple of months ago when he had returned, Harry had told his aunt to let him know if any wizards came by asking for him, assuring her that if any did come by, he would deal with them. Although, to their credit, the wizards respected Harry's wishes and left him alone for the summer.

A few hours later, Harry returned with the old trunk which the Dursleys had given him years ago, which was obviously filled with something very heavy. Mr. Dursley saw it, and was pretty sure it was the gold. Of course the Potter boy wouldn't have all that money with him!

Harry saw his uncle looking at him, and said, "Yes, don't worry, Uncle Vernon, I have your precious gold." He then opened the trunk and showed a handful of golden coins from where he stood. "And don't worry, they're normal-looking enough that you can go to a normal jewelry store or bank and cash in on them there."

With that, he replaced the coins, shut the trunk, and went upstairs.


Finally, it was the first day of September. Harry had all his things together, and everything was ready to go. He already let Hedwig out the night before, so she could go to Hogwarts on her own.

Walking down the stairs, Harry saw the three Dursleys crowded at the table eating breakfast. For a seemingly long moment, they looked at him, and vice versa. Finally, Harry said, "Your 'repayment' is back up in the room. Thanks for the 'hospitality,' good-bye, and have nice lives."

With that, Harry Potter walked out the front door, leaving forever and never to return.

No sooner than he was gone than the three Dursleys rushed up to the room and saw the trunk in the center of it. Mr. Dursley opened it up, greedily surveyed the gold, and shut it again.

They had to wait a few hours for the bank to open, but once it was open, the entire family went there to cash in on it. They went to a private room where someone working for the bank would inspect the gold himself.

However, while the Dursleys were talking amongst themselves, a puzzled-looking bank worker got their attention with a simple question: "Where's the gold?"

Perplexed and bordering on suspicious, Mr. Dursley got up and saw that the trunk was now essentially empty... except for a single note inside.

Wondering where all the gold is? It's leprechaun gold; it vanishes after a few hours, and is used mainly for ceremonial purposes. I really was going to give you some actual gold, but you broke the terms to our agreement when you tried to kill me the other night. Either way, here are some words of wisdom: "Those who live upon expectation are sure to be disappointed."

Vernon Dursley's subsequent roar of rage could be heard throughout the entire building.


(End of Chapter 3.)

A/N: Whew! I finally got that one done!

Next chapter is the train ride that some people may not exactly be looking forward to... /-//Quillian/

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