Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Love Is Only Love

Chapter 12: And this is nothing new, you are slipping through my fingers and into the airwaves

by luckysgc921 7 reviews

Ryan. The end.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Crossover, Drama, Fantasy, Romance - Published: 2006-11-15 - Updated: 2006-11-16 - 1495 words

2Insightful
A few hours later Ryan groaned as he was shaken awake. Rolling over he was surprised to find that it wasn't Pete waking him up, but Brendon. In fact, taking a quick look around the room told him that Pete was actually no where in sight. Neither were the bags that had been in the corner of the room earlier either. Nausea set into Ryan's stomach and he clenched his fists before taking a deep breath to ask in the most detached tone he could muster,
"When did he leave?"
"About an hour ago. He came by and told me that I should wake you up and get you out of here before any of the other guys come in, he decided to head back to Chicago early. He claimed he got a call about a meeting for Decaydance crap. I tried to convince him to stay, or at least talk to you first, but he just blew me off and said there wasn't anything to discuss anymore, what happened, happened and it was over." Brendon responded in a disgusted tone and after a moment added, "If I thought he was going to act like this I wouldn't have told you to go to him."
"Whatever. Can you leave so I can get dressed?" Ryan said in a shaky tone that was meant to be dismissive but came out more horrified.
"Yea, just so you know. He left you a note or something on the desk there." Brendon pointed towards a small writing desk in the corner as he walked out of the hotel room.
Laying back down Ryan once again stared at the ceiling and contemplated what would happen if he decided to just stay here until Joe came back to go to bed tonight. Today was supposed to be their off day, he could just flop around and watch TV and act like he didn't know Pete had left. Fully naked, in Pete's bed.
"At this point I don't give a flying fuck about the consequences." he muttered to himself, "although...damn it."
Finally after a few more minutes Ryan heaved himself out of bed and grabbed his clothing before throwing it on haphazardly, not caring in the slightest if things were on right, as his intentions were to simply go to his own room and fall back into bed and just sleep until his flight in the morning. On the way out of the room he stopped to look at the letter, wondering if he really wanted to even bother reading excuses from someone who obviously didn't feel anywhere near the same as he did. After a few seconds hesitation Ryan resigned himself to being a pansy when it came to Pete and grabbed the letter to read when he had come to terms with being a one night stand to someone he had fallen in love with and considered one of his best friends.
When he walked into his room he was surprised to see Jon, Spencer, Brendon and the girls all in his room, usually Brendon was too bitchy about his things to have everyone hanging out around them. Stopping short in the doorway six sympathetic eyes turned towards him and the sight of that made him snap.
"Get. Out." Ryan said with a voice of steel. Thankfully without a word all six of them complied and got up to leave to go to the other room. "Oh and Jon," when the other boy turned to him Ryan continued, "You were right." Ryan watched as the older boys eyes went cold and he smiled to himself. If he wanted to feel a little vindictive towards Pete then what the hell; Being on Jon Walker's shit list wasn't a fun place to be, that man held his friends close like family and if Pete happened to have Jon pissed at him for a while because of what happened, oh well. He had learned how to be bitchy from the best of them, Brendon and Pete himself. With that last thought Ryan laid down and closed his eyes before drifting back off into sleep so that he wouldn't have to think about what had happened a few hours previously.
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A week later Ryan was once again lying in bed, only this time it was his own bed at home. They had been back in Vegas for a week and would be heading back to New York in a week to play the Boost Mobile Rock Corps Concert at Radio City. Downtime had been few and far between since they had recorded the album so this past week had been a relaxing excuse to just pig out and lay around watching tv and playing video games. Brendon had spent as much time as possible trying to distract Ryan from what had happened but it had never fully left his mind. So now, lying in his bed he reached over and opened his nightstand to take out the letter that Pete had written. It was time to find out what had happened.
Dear Ryan,
This is the most difficult thing I've ever had to write...

The letter went on in that vein for some time. Talking about how hard this was for him. When Ryan reached the end and saw the words "Please forgive me" he didn't know if he could. He didn't know if he wanted to. The truth of the matter was Ryan had laid his feelings out on the line and Pete never actually said how he felt, hell he still hadn't in the half assed excuse of an apology. Doubt started to fill Ryan's mind, maybe the sex really was just sex, and maybe he really was just a quick lay. Getting up Ryan wandered down the hall and into his living room. Looking around the room he spotted a framed picture and smiled remembering it.
The picture was of two boys, because that's what they were at heart, Pete and Ryan, both looking so much younger then they did now. Ironically it was only about a year previous that the picture had been taken on the Nintendo Fusion Tour. They had been sitting on a couch with their legs up on the coffee table just talking about some random bullshit when someone had snapped the photo. One of the few photos of them that the fans hadn't managed to get their hands on. It was completely candid but they had both loved it and each had a copy. He remembered what Pete had said to him when they got the pictures framed and what he had in turn responded.
"Friends, no matter what right?"
"As though you could get rid of me."
Ryan had to wonder if all that had been thrown away in one afternoon because Pete couldn't deal enough to at least stay and talk before deciding to jump ship. Taking another look around, Ryan sat down at his piano and took out a blank sheet of music and opened his notebook that was sitting on top of the bench.
"At least one of us got some album material out of this experience...." He said to himself before shaking his head and started writing.
Time might heal all wounds, but sometimes they still leave big old jagged scars to show where a person had been hurt. It was too soon to tell what kind of scars Ryan would take away from this experience, but as he started to write he realized he would heal, maybe a little more jaded then he had been before and maybe he'd be less likely to just close his eyes and jump. Hopefully next time the person in question wouldn't be afraid to take the plunge and could drag him over the ledge with them. Falling in love is the most wonderful thing in the world after all when you do it right along with someone else; someone who is hopefully capable of fully loving you back.
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A/N:

And so that Dear Reader is our story. We hope you enjoyed our little foray into Pete and Ryan's respective brains. It was a whirlwind love story that we tried to set up as "realistically" as possible. Since none of us know these boys personally we don't know what may or may not have gone on those three days they were in New York for the VMA's...so....
Did it happen?---->probably not.
Could it have happened?----->sure could have.
And if you think about it, ever since the VMAs there seems to have been NO Panic/FOB interaction, and yes you could argue that FOB is recording and Panic! is touring right now so they are busy. Before the VMAs when they were touring, not even together, and they were all busy there always seemed to be something. Some mention in an article, some picture popping up somewhere...and now nothing.
Kind of makes you wonder?

Sincerely,
getup_n_go and luckysgc921
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