Categories > Anime/Manga > Noir

Even Professionals Need Help

by priss 1 review

Even beautiful assassins seek professional help sometimes.....Just ask Mireille Bouquet.

Category: Noir - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Altena, Chloe, Kirika, Mireille - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2006-11-17 - Updated: 2006-11-17 - 1671 words


Disclaimer: I do not own Noir. Story is rated T for slight shoujoai content and language.

Even Professionals Need Help

The blonde sat down in the brown leather chair and sighed. She studied the many different degrees that hung on the soothing blue walls of the psychologist's office. The doctor was a middle aged man with glasses and sandy brown hair. He held a notebook in his hands as he studied Mireille seriously.

"Now then, Ms. Bouquet, why are you here today?" he asked her, as he readied his pen above his notebook.

The blonde fixed him with a look. "You know what it is that I do for a living, right?" she asked firmly, in a threatening tone of voice.

"Uh, Y..Yes.." the doctor replied, as he shifted in his chair nervously.

"So you know what I will do to you, if anything I tell you today doesn't stay in this room." she reminded him seriously.

"Yes, Ms. Bouquet, and I assure you that everything you tell me will remain in absolute confidence! the doctor assured her, as he adjusted his glasses.

"Okay, just as long as we're clear on that." Mireille confirmed.

", oh yes. It's extremely clear to me." the doctor replied, as he nodded his head. "Now, may I call you Mireille?"

"No. I prefer you to call me Ms. Bouquet instead." the Corsican responded, as she tugged at the bottom of her short black skirt, trying to get comfortable in the chair she was sitting in.

"Certainly, Ms. Bouquet. Now back to the reason you are here, you have had a lot of troubling things happen to you lately, am I right?" the doctor asked, as he looked down at his notes.

"I guess you could say that.." Mireille sighed.

"Hmm, it says here in your history, that you lost your family at a young age." he said.

"Yes, that's right." the blonde agreed.

"And it says here that your family was murdered? I'm sorry, Ms. Bouquet, I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for you." the doctor responded sympathetically.

"You don't know the half of it." Mireille groaned, as she rolled her eyes and fidgeted in her chair.

"You're very tense, Ms. Bouquet. I think that maybe we should do some visualization exercises to help you relax." the doctor recommended.

"Visualization exercises?" the blonde assassin repeated.

The doctor set aside his pad and pen and looked over at Mireille.

"I think you should try one with me now. Okay, close your eyes and think of the sound of softly falling snow as it hits the ground, think of the pure whiteness of it, think of the way it covers everything around you and makes the world seem peaceful and calm. Now, think about kittens, maybe white ones with big blue eyes." the doctor said, in a very even and soothing voice.

Mireille closed her eyes and tried to visualize the scene the doctor described. Instantly, she was taken back to the mission in Russia where snow was everywhere and it was so damn cold! She remembered Kirika sneaking that white kitten in their room, hidden in a paper sack. (Oh, Kirika..) she thought sadly.

The Corsican quickly opened her eyes and jumped up. "This is not going to work!" she told the doctor firmly.

The doctor stared at her little outburst thoughtfully. "Hmm. Please sit back down, Ms. Bouquet, let's try talking about what's making you so upset and see if that helps." he suggested, as he leaned back into his chair.

Mireille slumped back into the leather chair. "I don't know where to start." she began miserably.

"Well, what has happened to you recently?" the doctor asked, as he picked up his pad and pen again.

" Well, first I found out that my partner was supposed to belong with this other girl." she replied bitterly.

"Hm, so would that be Kirika Yuumura? And the other girl you mentioned, what is her name?" the doctor asked, as he looked down at his notes, (noticing that in her history, Mireille had put the other girl's name as 'Bitch from Hell')

"Her name is Chloe." the blonde said sadly.

"Okay, Ms. Bouquet. Let's examine this situation. As I see it, you have deep feelings for your friend, Kirika and don't like the fact that she is friends with Chloe? Is that accurate?" he asked.

Mireille nodded her head. "I suppose."

"What do you mean the two girls belong together? Are they just friends or is the relationship deeper than that? Are you jealous of them? Did Kirika leave you for Chloe?" the doctor questioned.

"It's a long story, but yes, she did leave me. I didn't think I cared but then I found her letter......" the blonde trailed off softly.

The doctor watched as Mireille rubbed at her eyes furiously.

"What did the letter say?" the doctor asked softly.

"I'm not really sure.....but I think she was trying to tell me that she loved me. She's so hard to figure out...but now I don't know what to do!" she exclaimed.

"Shh, deep breaths, relax....." the doctor soothed the agitated woman, before he continued. "What do you mean when you say you don't know what to do?" he asked.

"I made a promise to her that when I found out the answers, I would kill her. I failed in my attempt though. I just couldn't do it. I left her alone and decided she deserved her accursed fate. But now, I realize what she means to me, even though she killed my family." Mireille explained.

"Wait, are you telling me that your friend, Kirika killed your family!?" the doctor asked, shocked by this revelation.

"Yes, I know it sounds terrible, but she was only a little girl..." the Corsican tried to explain.

The doctor stared at her critically. "So you are saying that Kirika means more to you than the memory of your family?" he asked, trying to understand.

The blonde woman nodded. "Yes, I suppose she does." she admitted softly.

The doctor began to scribble furiously on his pad. "Ms. Bouquet, please forgive me if I am asking too personal a question, but what is your sexual preference?" he asked, as he stared over at Mireille.

"Why!?" she asked, incredulous.

"Well, I find it odd that you are jealous of this other girl, Chloe, you seem miserable since your friend left and you couldn't kill her even though you found out she had murdered your family. It seems to me that you have forgiven her." the doctor replied.

"You forgot to mention the letter." Mireille reminded him. "Besides, what's your point?"

"I feel, based on what you've told me here today, that you are in love with Kirika. Have you ever had other feelings for girls before?" he asked, his pen against his cheek.

She thought for a moment. "Well, Silvana was scary....but I still found her pretty hot!" the blonde admitted.

"Ah-ha!" the doctor exclaimed in triumph as he frantically scribbled down more notes.

Mireille was getting tired of this.

"Look, I didn't come here just to discuss Kirika! My apartment has been trashed by those stupid Knights of Paris, Breffort wants me to return to the Manor and take care of Altena, and I'm not sure I'm ready to take on Chloe and Kirika!" the blonde explained nervously.

"Shh,deep breaths, relax...." the doctor soothed.

"Stop it with the deep breaths routine! It doesn't work! I can't relax, my whole world is falling apart!" the Corsican yelled at the doctor in frustration.

"Well, I could try to hypnotize you. That might prove beneficial to you." the doctor suggested.

"No thank you! I don't want to end up like Kirika, there's no telling what Altena did to her! I like talking in complete sentences!" she exclaimed.

(You mean, you like yelling in complete sentences....) the doctor thought wearily.

"I can prescribe some antidepressants and some tranquilizers for you then." the doctor offered.

"Keep your damn pills! I need to be alert and on my toes, not doped up on pharmaceuticals! I'm an assassin, dammit, I'm used to stress!" Mireille told the doctor firmly.

The doctor looked at the Corsican as he tapped his pen against his pad. "Then why did you decide to see me today? You haven't listened to any of my suggestions!" he complained.

"All of your advice has been worthless! I don't know why I ever listened to my contact about getting a professionals help on what I should do about Kirika!" the blonde exclaimed.

"Sh, calm down..." the doctor began, then stopped as Mireille gave him a threatening look.

"I know what I'm going to do now. I'm going to go after her, there's still some unfinished business between us." the blonde responded suddenly.

"What are you planning to do? Kill her?" the doctor asked in alarm.

Mireille stood up, as she finally realized what she would do. "No, I'm going to save her if I can." she said determinedly.

She smiled at the doctor. "Wow, I guess you did help after all. Thanks."

"Uh, you're welcome, Ms. Bouquet.." the doctor said, as he wondered what he did.

Mireille pulled out her Walther P-99 and showed it to the doctor. "Remember, if anything I've said here today is known, I will kill you! " she reminded him with a cold look in her eyes.

"You have my assurances, Ms. Bouquet." he told her.

After Mireille left, the doctor sighed in relief. He had a feeling that he would see the blonde again and probably with that Japanese girl.....

He decided now would be a good time to move his practice out of Paris.


A/n- uh... This is what happens when you get writer's block:/ This story was done in fun and is not to be taken seriously or to offend:)

I hope to be working on my other stories soon:) Please review, no flames please (cause I will still write anyway, mwa hahaha!)

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