Categories > Anime/Manga > Slayers > These Things
Part Two-Better Days
0 reviewsLina makes a life changing discovery one morning, but when it takes a turn for the worse, Gourry proves to her that sometimes she is her own worst enemy.
0Unrated
These Things
Part Two: "Better Days"
~Two Weeks Later~
Lina awoke to a dark room. Her eyes searched for the source of her lost sleep. She was rewarded with a light snoring; Gourry was still asleep. As streams of new morning light crept through her curtain, she pulled her knees to her chest. Four weeks, she told herself. It had been four weeks since it happened, her period had been happy to remind her last week. Four weeks since she had almost lost herself and their baby. She caught a tear as it rolled down her cheek.
"Why am I crying?" she asked quietly to the dark.
It was the nights like this that reminded her, the quiet stillness that brought the loneliness back.
"I told myself I was past this," she whispered as she caught another tear. "I'm OK now."
Gourry moved next to her snuggling in the best he could. Her breath hitched in throat. She wasn't OK. She really thought she had gotten over it. She even discussed it with Gourry earlier, on the first day she felt better.
~*~
She crawled up next to him a few sunny days ago. He looked at her with those heavenly blue eyes and she almost lost it. They were clear, for the first time in weeks, and she felt a pang of guilt for putting him through so much.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly.
"About what?" he questioned, shifting his weight.
"For everything," she started, nervously. "For all the pain I've caused-I never meant to hurt anyone-anyone I knew. All of this is so new to me; I don't even know how to act. I haven't been in control of my body for a month and a half and it scares the hell out of me. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. I'm glad you were there; I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else."
That was the first night they touched. Nothing much, really but it was a huge step forward for both of them. In the previous weeks after her relapse, Lina would sleep as close to the edge of the bed as possible. Tossing and turning in her sleep, she'd yell things out and be up for hours. The circles under her eyes were proof to that. That night, they lay quietly next to each other, bodies touching. Rolling over to her side, she reached for him.
She thought that was it. She thought she would be fine and things could proceed as normal. Sitting in the dark, tear-filled eyes, listening to her lover sleep as she sat up, awake, she knew now that she wasn't.
Her mind wandered to her first week she felt better. How helpful people were that first week. She remembered Gourry and Amelia's smiling faces and how relieved she felt when she saw them enter her room, smiling. The flowers they placed on the nightstand, the vibrant golds and reds and pinks reminded Lina of the flower fields they used to pass and she smiled, knowing she'd be better soon.
The kitchen staff seemed to be working overtime as Amelia and Gourry and various servants paraded back and forth to her room. She couldn't REMEMBER the last time she had seen so much food! However, she couldn't eat much. She still had trouble keeping things down. It would be running back and forth to the bathroom every time she had more than a plate and felt ill until Gourry fetched a bucket and stayed by her bedside, pushing the hair from her face and soothing her worries.
~*~
She awoke a few hours later, freezing. She sat up to pull the blanket from under her and saw Gourry, still cuddled up next to her, fluttering his eyes open.
"Are you alright?" he, asked, seeing her tear-streaked face and propping himself up on one elbow.
"I jut got up to get the blanket-I'll be fine."
Her voice wavered.
"You're not fine."
"I've been up the last couple hours, thinking. I'm very fortunate to have people who care about me as much as you and Amelia do. I don't know how I could have gotten through this without you. Thank you."
She turned to him, fighting back tears. He pulled her to him and held her tight as she cried out the rest of the pain. When she was finished, she pulled away to look at him again. Wiping the tears from her eyes with his thumb, he looked into her eyes.
And he felt it; the tears, the pain he had swallowed for so long. It came back up as she looked back at him, and he realized again just how close he came to losing her again.
And then she was on him, pushing him down, kissing him in that old familiar way, a way he had almost forgotten. He brought his arms around her, and rolled her back over. She roamed over parts of his body that she had forgotten and for the first time in a month, felt something more than pain and sadness. She was suddenly filled with a wanting, and a need to be touched again.
When they broke apart, she spoke.
"Gourry, I need you."
"You told me that already."
"No," she shook her head. She unbuttoned her pajama top, just a little, revealing a little more than she had in the month before. "I need this. I don't want to hurt anymore."
"But I don't want to hurt you," Gourry protested, buttoning her shirt.
"Leave it!" she said, and unbuttoned it again. "You're not going to hurt me. Besides, we can't really do anything anyway; Amelia already told me that we should wait a few more weeks until we do anything. But that doesn't mean we should stop doing everything, because I still want to do something."
To emphasize her point, she took his hand and placed it on her breast, surprised when she jumped. The sensation of that alone was almost too great! Leaving his hand there, she unbuttoned the rest of her shirt, letting it hang loose.
"Are you sure about this?" Gourry asked, sliding his hands back up to rest on her shoulders.
"Yes," she answered. "Don't worry about hurting me."
She kissed him again, softly this time. He was determined to let her control the show, not because he didn't want to, but because he was afraid of hurting her. So it was Lina who took his hand and placed it under her top, it was Lina who slid it down her shoulders, and when she motioned for him to continue, he gently rubbed her nipples with his thumbs, waiting for the noises. She jerked up, and nodded. Picking up where she left off, he pulled the string of her pants, enough to slide his hand in. Testing it, he ran his fingers over her and smiled when her knees locked.
She rolled over to make it easier, and was surprised when he abandoned his pants. He kissed her again, tracing her body with his fingertips, warming her up and drawing her closer to him. He brushed the hair from her face, and traced it behind her ear, down her neck and to her breast, where he circled the nipple before pulling it gently. She moaned in his mouth and he did it again to the other side, mimicking his motion on her other breast. Pulling away for just a moment, he paused to pull her pants all the way down. She didn't stop him and he knew she wouldn't. Pulling them past her ankles he paused, breathing her in. This was the first time she had been naked and comfortable around him since before all this, and he wanted to enjoy it just a little while longer. He kissed the place where the curls and her legs met and she whimpered. He looked up. Her eyes were closed and her hand was tangled in his hair. He kissed the convergence again, waiting for it. He tried again higher, lightly kissing around her bellybutton.
"No no no no," she murmured, pushing his head back down.
He opened his mouth to protest, but she opened her eyes a slit and smiled. He continued where he was, kissing a trail from her bellybutton to where her legs were joined. Letting her hand control his movements he brought his mouth to her, searching with his tongue what he knew he'd find. He rubbed it over that little nub and was rewarded for his efforts by Lina hitching her in her breath and pushing his head harder against her.
It had been so long, she had almost forgotten what it felt like. It was a feeling like no other and she pressed her hips against his tongue harder, hoping to create a feeling like she once had; one of letting go, and love. It came; she could tell when it did. She suddenly couldn't remember why she was sad before. She just knew it was her and Gourry, and that was all that matter. Nothing in the past or future could ever break this bond. She finally let it all go, the pain, the anger, the fear and the self-loathing. In one long moan it left her.
As she drifted off to sleep later, she realized she actually felt thankful. Happy that she hadn't cried herself to sleep for the first time in weeks, she allowed herself to nod off.
Part Two: "Better Days"
~Two Weeks Later~
Lina awoke to a dark room. Her eyes searched for the source of her lost sleep. She was rewarded with a light snoring; Gourry was still asleep. As streams of new morning light crept through her curtain, she pulled her knees to her chest. Four weeks, she told herself. It had been four weeks since it happened, her period had been happy to remind her last week. Four weeks since she had almost lost herself and their baby. She caught a tear as it rolled down her cheek.
"Why am I crying?" she asked quietly to the dark.
It was the nights like this that reminded her, the quiet stillness that brought the loneliness back.
"I told myself I was past this," she whispered as she caught another tear. "I'm OK now."
Gourry moved next to her snuggling in the best he could. Her breath hitched in throat. She wasn't OK. She really thought she had gotten over it. She even discussed it with Gourry earlier, on the first day she felt better.
~*~
She crawled up next to him a few sunny days ago. He looked at her with those heavenly blue eyes and she almost lost it. They were clear, for the first time in weeks, and she felt a pang of guilt for putting him through so much.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly.
"About what?" he questioned, shifting his weight.
"For everything," she started, nervously. "For all the pain I've caused-I never meant to hurt anyone-anyone I knew. All of this is so new to me; I don't even know how to act. I haven't been in control of my body for a month and a half and it scares the hell out of me. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. I'm glad you were there; I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else."
That was the first night they touched. Nothing much, really but it was a huge step forward for both of them. In the previous weeks after her relapse, Lina would sleep as close to the edge of the bed as possible. Tossing and turning in her sleep, she'd yell things out and be up for hours. The circles under her eyes were proof to that. That night, they lay quietly next to each other, bodies touching. Rolling over to her side, she reached for him.
She thought that was it. She thought she would be fine and things could proceed as normal. Sitting in the dark, tear-filled eyes, listening to her lover sleep as she sat up, awake, she knew now that she wasn't.
Her mind wandered to her first week she felt better. How helpful people were that first week. She remembered Gourry and Amelia's smiling faces and how relieved she felt when she saw them enter her room, smiling. The flowers they placed on the nightstand, the vibrant golds and reds and pinks reminded Lina of the flower fields they used to pass and she smiled, knowing she'd be better soon.
The kitchen staff seemed to be working overtime as Amelia and Gourry and various servants paraded back and forth to her room. She couldn't REMEMBER the last time she had seen so much food! However, she couldn't eat much. She still had trouble keeping things down. It would be running back and forth to the bathroom every time she had more than a plate and felt ill until Gourry fetched a bucket and stayed by her bedside, pushing the hair from her face and soothing her worries.
~*~
She awoke a few hours later, freezing. She sat up to pull the blanket from under her and saw Gourry, still cuddled up next to her, fluttering his eyes open.
"Are you alright?" he, asked, seeing her tear-streaked face and propping himself up on one elbow.
"I jut got up to get the blanket-I'll be fine."
Her voice wavered.
"You're not fine."
"I've been up the last couple hours, thinking. I'm very fortunate to have people who care about me as much as you and Amelia do. I don't know how I could have gotten through this without you. Thank you."
She turned to him, fighting back tears. He pulled her to him and held her tight as she cried out the rest of the pain. When she was finished, she pulled away to look at him again. Wiping the tears from her eyes with his thumb, he looked into her eyes.
And he felt it; the tears, the pain he had swallowed for so long. It came back up as she looked back at him, and he realized again just how close he came to losing her again.
And then she was on him, pushing him down, kissing him in that old familiar way, a way he had almost forgotten. He brought his arms around her, and rolled her back over. She roamed over parts of his body that she had forgotten and for the first time in a month, felt something more than pain and sadness. She was suddenly filled with a wanting, and a need to be touched again.
When they broke apart, she spoke.
"Gourry, I need you."
"You told me that already."
"No," she shook her head. She unbuttoned her pajama top, just a little, revealing a little more than she had in the month before. "I need this. I don't want to hurt anymore."
"But I don't want to hurt you," Gourry protested, buttoning her shirt.
"Leave it!" she said, and unbuttoned it again. "You're not going to hurt me. Besides, we can't really do anything anyway; Amelia already told me that we should wait a few more weeks until we do anything. But that doesn't mean we should stop doing everything, because I still want to do something."
To emphasize her point, she took his hand and placed it on her breast, surprised when she jumped. The sensation of that alone was almost too great! Leaving his hand there, she unbuttoned the rest of her shirt, letting it hang loose.
"Are you sure about this?" Gourry asked, sliding his hands back up to rest on her shoulders.
"Yes," she answered. "Don't worry about hurting me."
She kissed him again, softly this time. He was determined to let her control the show, not because he didn't want to, but because he was afraid of hurting her. So it was Lina who took his hand and placed it under her top, it was Lina who slid it down her shoulders, and when she motioned for him to continue, he gently rubbed her nipples with his thumbs, waiting for the noises. She jerked up, and nodded. Picking up where she left off, he pulled the string of her pants, enough to slide his hand in. Testing it, he ran his fingers over her and smiled when her knees locked.
She rolled over to make it easier, and was surprised when he abandoned his pants. He kissed her again, tracing her body with his fingertips, warming her up and drawing her closer to him. He brushed the hair from her face, and traced it behind her ear, down her neck and to her breast, where he circled the nipple before pulling it gently. She moaned in his mouth and he did it again to the other side, mimicking his motion on her other breast. Pulling away for just a moment, he paused to pull her pants all the way down. She didn't stop him and he knew she wouldn't. Pulling them past her ankles he paused, breathing her in. This was the first time she had been naked and comfortable around him since before all this, and he wanted to enjoy it just a little while longer. He kissed the place where the curls and her legs met and she whimpered. He looked up. Her eyes were closed and her hand was tangled in his hair. He kissed the convergence again, waiting for it. He tried again higher, lightly kissing around her bellybutton.
"No no no no," she murmured, pushing his head back down.
He opened his mouth to protest, but she opened her eyes a slit and smiled. He continued where he was, kissing a trail from her bellybutton to where her legs were joined. Letting her hand control his movements he brought his mouth to her, searching with his tongue what he knew he'd find. He rubbed it over that little nub and was rewarded for his efforts by Lina hitching her in her breath and pushing his head harder against her.
It had been so long, she had almost forgotten what it felt like. It was a feeling like no other and she pressed her hips against his tongue harder, hoping to create a feeling like she once had; one of letting go, and love. It came; she could tell when it did. She suddenly couldn't remember why she was sad before. She just knew it was her and Gourry, and that was all that matter. Nothing in the past or future could ever break this bond. She finally let it all go, the pain, the anger, the fear and the self-loathing. In one long moan it left her.
As she drifted off to sleep later, she realized she actually felt thankful. Happy that she hadn't cried herself to sleep for the first time in weeks, she allowed herself to nod off.
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