FicWad

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Sqaure Enix related indica.

WARNINGS: Suicidal Themes, Angst

Chapter 4
Breaking Point

Sephiroth hastened through the door to his apartment, his wet clothes sticking to his flesh and drenching everything in a nearby radius. The feverish body in his arms was just as equally soaked. Sephiroth kicked off his boots then lay Cloud on the sofa, and proceeded to clean him up. He dried off the spiky hair with a fluffy blue towel he'd retrieved from his bathroom.

He removed the boy's drenched shirt, temporarily ignoring the bruises marring the smooth white skin, there were more pressing matters to be taken care of. Sephiroth shook his head at the visible ribs. Had he eaten once since his escape? He then removed the boy's boots, which he noted were standard ShinRa issue. Where had he gotten those? He practically poured the water out of them. Next, off came the dripping socks. He stopped there, and disappeared into his bedroom. Upon emergence, he had a thick blanket in hand.

He removed the shivering blonde's wet jeans carefully. He decided to allow the boy his remaining dignity and just left the wet boxers alone. Sephiroth could tell that Cloud's potential beauty had been long kept at bay by poor health conditions. Cloud could be beautiful, he noted, perhaps if he were nursed back to full health. His body was lithe, and his skin was smooth and milky.

The blonde's thinness was hard to ignore. Sephiroth knew that emaciation of this level did not come from just a few days without food. This had been going on for a long time. Cloud's blonde locks were dull and limp from days without proper shampooing, and his skin was pale, as if he hadn't been allowed outside much. The picture he'd seen on television was an old one. Cloud hadn't aged much. He'd just lost the obvious boyish facial features, and gained the look of a young man. Sephiroth noticed with much annoyance at himself that he'd been staring adamantly and covered the blonde's trembling body in the thick blanket.

The orphanage had obviously neglected Cloud's health. Sephiroth found himself wondering why he hadn't fled sooner. Maybe he had no where else to go. Maybe he'd tried and failed. This track of thought led him to thoughts of Cloud's crime. He studied the delirious figure squirming in pain on his couch. He didn't seem capable of murder. Nor did he seem able of killing a snarling mako-enhanced beast over twice his size either. Sephiroth knew from experience that every living creature on The Planet had a motive behind every action. What motivated Strife to take such radical actions?

He brushed the back of his hand across Cloud's forehead. Even if the blonde's skin was clammy from exposure to the cold rain, Sephiroth could feel the burning heat through the sticky sheen of sweat.

If this fever doesn't abate soon, he'll suffer brain damage.

What now? Is it safe to just go ahead and give him an injection, or should I wait?

Wait for what? His condition to worsen!?

A distressed whimper from the shaking figure on the sofa made up his mind for him. Sephiroth went to his bedroom, and opened an ornate trunk at the foot of his queen-sized bed. He fumbled through miscellaneous items, and finally came up victorious. In his hands, were six small green vials, each one a premeasured dosage of pure, glowing mako, and six separately packaged injection needles to go with them. He'd known these would come in handy someday, but certainly hadn't expected he'd be using them on a suspected murderer.

He returned to the blonde's side to find that he'd curled into the couch and was no longer shivering from the cold, but, instead, shaking from the internal damage caused by the toxic properties of impure mako. Mako poisoning meant the boy's body had absorbed more than it could handle, and impure mako at that. He would be ill long after his recovery, if any at all.

The human body used mako like fuel. It absorbed it and turned it into extra energy to create more strength, speed, and the like. The body only needs small amounts at a time. Normally, the excess mako lies dormant in the body's blood stream, as long as there is an ample supply of the substance. Having only one exposure, Cloud's body had presumed there would be no more, thus it had begun to absorb the extra as well as the initial dosage, trying to get as much from the single exposure as possible.

When the body absorbs too much mako, the blood becomes saturated as more and more mako particles attach themselves to platelets, then the body's immune system takes action. White blood cells eat the red blood cells to which the mako is synthesized. The white blood cells become infected by the mako, and then begin annihilating healthy cells as well, causing the high temperature, and a loss of functional blood cells.

In short, Cloud's immune system was slowly destroying his living tissues. If the body absorbs too little mako, the above reaction takes place. If the body receives too much, you get pretty much the same scenario. So, the wise thing to do, would be to never touch the stuff to begin with.

Oh, I suppose he /wanted to be attacked by a vicious animal? / Sephiroth thought sarcastically.

The pain is induced when the infected cells run rampant in the body. As they destroy other cells, they release a chemical by the name of omnialgea. Omnialgea translated to English from Latin means 'all pain,' and that's exactly what it does. The chemical bombards the nervous system with tiny cells that attach themselves to the central nervous center in the brain. The cells produce minute electric shocks, fooling the brain into believing the body should be in pain, when it truly isn't. When the brain recieves the electrtic shocks, it sends every nerve ending in the body screaming into over time.

Sephiroth gently pried Cloud from his shaky ball, and pinned one arm down with his elbow as the boy struggled to bring it back under the blanket. He may have been strong enough to drive a dagger through a creature's spine yesterday, but not now. In fact, he stopped struggling completely after such a simple action had exhausted him. Sephiroth sanitized the crook of his elbow with an alcohol swab, and prepared the needle.

He'd decided to give him only half of the advised dosage, seeing he didn't weigh all that much. After making sure there were no air bubbles in the syringe, he slowly slid it into the visible blue vein, and watched as the plunger pushed the thick green liquid into the boy's arm.

Now, there was nothing left but to wait. Sephiroth knew Cloud's recovery would likely be slow, considering his case had been the worst he'd ever seen. For now, Cloud needed rest, and lots of it.

Sephiroth made sure the blonde was comfortable, then left to his own bedroom for a shower to change into some dry clothes.

It wasn't until he'd been standing in the shower over fifteen minutes that he realized he'd forgotten to pick up his wallet. He'd been in a rush. He sighed. He could always buy another one. He wasn't one for credit cards, so he wouldn't have to worry there. Anyone who found a wallet with his licenses and ShinRa key cards would either keep it for a personal General Sephiroth shrine, sell it on E-bay, or return it in hopes of actually getting to meet the General himself.

He'd subconsciously been searching for Cloud Strife, not that he'd ever admit it to himself, but the blonde had found him instead, in an ironic way at that.

What possessed him to choose /me of all people? /

Should I tell Zack I have him?

Nah . . . not yet anyway.

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The first thing that came to Cloud's thoughts when he awoke, was that he was lying on something soft, and, on top of that, he was warm. He remembered being carried by someone he couldn't see, but to where? He didn't want to open his eyes, too afraid to find out where he'd been taken to. Instead, he burrowed deeper into the comforting warmth, and pulled the blanket tighter around him. He knew he wasn't back at the orphanage, the beds there weren't this soft, nor the blankets this warm.

He'd fully intended on drifting back into his restful slumber, but the sound of a door opening and closing caught his attention. Cloud held his breath and strained his ears to hear the sound of the culprit's footprints, but, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hear anything. Maybe he'd only imagined it. Remembering the last time he'd heard sounds in the night and dismissed them as his imagination, he snapped his eyes open. As pain struck him full force between the eyes, he moaned pitifully. He'd opened them a little too fast, and, unfortunately, it wasn't night, or at least not in here, as a blinding light had, well, blinded him.

He heard a slight shuffle behind him, and composed himself before trying to see who it was. He rolled over to find a man sitting across from him in an armchair. Cloud gasped. This man ultimately defined the word 'power'. He wore boots with the red diamonds on the bottoms, very much like his own, and leather pants that fitted him perfectly. Cloud's eyes wandered further up to find a black belt with some sort of gold-plated insignia he'd never seen before. The man wore an impressive black leather coat, left open to allow the display of a well-muscled chest. The true frosting on the cake, was his long white hair which flowed over the man's shoulders and down to his waist like a waterfall of liquid silk. Hair like that on any other man would have looked effeminate, but on this man, it only added more prowess to his already intimidating image.

The man's eyes were closed, as if he were deep in thought. Cloud shifted, making ample noise to rouse him, but he still showed no sign of awareness. Maybe he was sleeping? Cloud considered this. If the man was sleeping, perhaps he could sneak out and back to the streets while he still had the chance. Cloud sat up, but that's as far as he got. He stopped, realizing his body no longer felt as if it were falling apart. A little sore yes, but he could tolerate that. Had the intimidating man done this? Why? Why would anyone bother doing something for him? Why would anyone bother helping a worthless nobody?

Cloud sat there on the edge of the sofa, thoughts wrought with confusion brought on by the man's actions. A smooth, familiar voice broke his reverie.

"You're awake." It was a flat statement, nothing more.

Cloud looked up, only to lock eyes with the same green eyes he'd seen before he'd lost consciousness. He simply stared for a moment, when finally he broke the contact, unable to hold the overpowering gaze any longer.

--------------------------------

Sephiroth watched the blonde as his blue eyes flitted to his own hands. He'd been expecting the first words out of him to something along the lines of "The General Sephiroth?! Holy shit!" but received a surprise when, instead, he asked a single question, no visible excitement on his face at all. In fact, he seemed rather frightened, as if afraid Sephiroth would rise from his chair and strike him down at any moment. The boy's demeanor reminded him somewhat of a beaten and wounded dog.

"Where am I? " The voice shook with a smothering lack of confidence, and Cloud never once turned his gaze from his hands, which were wrung nervously in his lap.

"This is my apartment," was all he offered, assuming the boy knew who he was.

Cloud considered this for a moment as he eyed Sephiroth nervously.

"Who are you?"

This statement puzzled Sephiroth greatly. He'd never heard of The Great General Sephiroth!? The boy hadn't seen a single overly-sized billboard!? No dramatic television advertisements!? No eight page magazine articles? No thirteen minute radio announcements!? Holy crap! What kind of isolation did the orphanage force their charges into!?

"You don't know?" Sephiroth just had to make sure he'd actually heard that question correctly.

"A . . . are you from the police?" Cloud looked up with an unreadable expression. Fear maybe?

Sephiroth didn't know what to think about this. He'd never met anyone who didn't already think they knew him just because they'd seen or heard of him in the media. Maybe . . . this could go actually go somewhere?

This? What 'this'? Sephiroth reprimanded himself. The boy didn't even know he was homosexual, and most likely wouldn't like the idea of being alone in an apartment with a gay man who could easily overpower him, not that Sephiroth would do such a thing. He believed, that if he couldn't earn sex, then he didn't deserve it. The boy was too young anyway. The news had said fifteen. Sephiroth was a full thirteen years older. Cloud would probably feel repulsed by the idea, so he pushed it aside.

"No, I'm from ShinRa Inc. My name is Sephiroth." He'd drop the bomb concerning his rank in ShinRa later. He rather enjoyed talking to someone who didn't know of all the great things he'd done in Wutai War One, or how frightening he could be with his Masamune in hand.

"I've heard of ShinRa, but I don't know exactly what it is," Cloud admitted and drooped his head as if waiting to be laughed at.

Sephiroth ran this through his mind. The boy didn't even know what ShinRa Inc. was, much less what they did. That meant he most likely wouldn't know what mako was either.

"Tell me Strife, you were wounded a few days ago, were you not?" At the odd look on the blonde's face he added, "Yes, a few days ago. You've been out for three days now."

Cloud starred at him. Three days? Never mind that. No one had witnessed the dog's attack. That he was positive of. Besides, if this man had seen his attack, why hadn't he helped?

He looked up into the man's eyes for a brief moment, then lowered his gaze to the man's left hand, resting on the chair's arm. Suspicion was quite evident in his glowing blue eyes.

"How do you know my name? What makes you think I was wounded?" Cloud began to worry for his safety. How much did this man actually know, and how did he find out?

"I know your name from a news broadcast. They aired your picture, basic information, and . . . one more thing, which I wish to discuss with you at another time. As far as knowing of your wounds, it's a long story. To put it short, I had a sufficient amount of evidence. I found the pit bull and your dagger. The dog bit you, did it not?"

He reached down, intending to check his boots for the white-handled blade, but stopped when he noticed one disturbing detail. He wore no boots . . . or pants . . . or shirt . . . all he had on were his navy blue boxer shorts, which were still damp. They stuck to his flesh like tights. On top of that, he was sitting less than ten feet away from this man, who made feel nervous beyond comprehension when he'd thought he had clothes on. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks, and covered himself with the blanket he'd been provided with. He supposed his clothes were wet, so this man had removed them. This brought on a wave of confusion. Why would this man help him? What had the man done to him whilst undressing him? He didn't think he'd been taken, surely he'd feel some kind of after effects.

Sephiroth noticed Cloud's fruitless searching, and motioned to a small dark-wood table beside the couch. There, clean of the black blood it had previously been veiled in, lay his, or, honestly, Arlex's dagger. It's blade gleamed as if the man had actually taken the time to polish it.

Cloud didn't reach for it. Maybe the man had left it there as a way of saying, without words, that he meant no harm. Cloud eyed him shrewdly. He didn't seem to be armed, but, even if he wasn't, he could still likely restrain Cloud lond enough to wrest the blade away. He dropped the subject, and, instead of dwelling on the matter, studied the man's previous words.

The orphanage actually had a picture of him? This man knew of his crime? He was right then. News of his crime had spread fast, especially if his picture was being shown on television. What would he do to him? Turn him in? Interrogate him? What else did he know? His motive for killing Matthew? What if this man wanted the same thing?

"Why did you bring me here?"

"I brought you here because I have a proposition for you, one that most boys your age would kill for."

"Proposition? Like what?"

"Did the dog bite you?" Sephiroth spoke louder this time, and with more demand, regretting it when Cloud visibly flinched.

"Yeah . . . it . . . did, but that healed almost instantly, so what does it matter now?"

The fact that this man knew so much about him already unnerved Cloud slightly. He reminded himself of his philosophy that had kept him alive for so long. Never trust anyone. No matter what. Especially not this man, whose very presence made him wish for nothing more than to bolt out of the room and to a safer location.

"It matters more than you think. You got sick afterwards. Given you don't know the significance of your attack, I take it you don't know what made you ill either."

Cloud couldn't discern where the man was going with this line of conversation, but decided it wouldn't hurt to go along, he'd said he wasn't with the police after all.

How do I know that? I'm just going to take /his word for it? Hah, fat chance! /

Sephiroth saw the hesitation in the blue eyes as Cloud slowly shook his head, shifting his gaze from his hands in his lap to Sephiroth, regarding him cautiously the whole time. The blonde had changed from submissive behavior to that of defense at the drop of a hat.

"Tell me Strife, do you know what mako is?"

Cloud shook his head again.

"Mako is a substance drawn from deep within The Planet by ShinRa Inc. ShinRa purifies it so it may be used to provide Midgar, and many other locations, with electrical power."

The orphanage hadn't had mako energy to provide them with light, they'd always just used candles and the like, but Cloud had seen the bright, glowing street lamps outside the Sleep Hall's window. He'd always wondered what magic they possessed to illuminate the dark streets of Midgar so well.

Sephiroth continued.

"That's not all mako is used for. Not only does ShinRa supply Midgar with power, but it provides Midgar with military protection. Mako comes into play in this aspect as well. ShinRa's main scientist, Professor Hojo, has invented a way to make mako safe for the human body. Mako makes a person faster, stronger, more durable, it heightens all five senses, and even induces a sixth. It speeds up healing to an inhuman level, and, in some cases, makes people smarter if injected into the blood stream of any living creature, but mako is only safe in the body if it has been treated and prepared for said purposes. ShinRa runs their soldiers through hard training and testing, and if they deem one worthy, he is injected with mako and given the rank of SOLDIER."

"Do you know how to distinguish a SOLDIER who has been injected with mako from a normal man?"

"Uhh . . . " Cloud had never seen a SOLDIER before, or at least he didn't think so. Not wanting to allay this to the man across from him, he replied, "No, I don't."

"Mako makes any living creature's eyes glow. Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

Sephiroth paused to let the information he'd lain out sink in.

Cloud starred in disbelief as his mind raced with the overload of new knowledge. His eyes glowed. The white-haired man's emerald eyes glowed as well. Sephiroth said he was with ShinRa, so that meant he'd been given mako, which made his eyes glow. Had he, Cloud, been injected with mako too?

He reflected back on the way he'd healed almost instantly after being wounded, how his ankle had become stable enough to walk on, how he'd been given an indescribable boost of energy that had allowed him the strength to drive his dagger home and land a killing blow. He remembered how his eyes had guided him through the late night darkness as if it were morning. He remembered how they'd glowed in the shop window. Realization dawned in his mind.

"ShinRa injects SOLDIERs with mako?"

Sephiroth affirmed this with one simple nod.

"You're trying to tell me I've been injected with mako?"

"Not, 'injected' necessarily, but you have been exposed. If you'll remember, I told you the dog's attack was more significant that you believe? When I found its carcass, I knew from several telltale signs that it had mako in its blood stream. I knew from finding blood that it had bitten someone. Once I found your weapon, which had been broadcasted on television the same day, I knew that the 'someone' in question had to be you. I also found a discarded crutch that appeared to belong to you as well. You didn't need it anymore because your body had healed quickly after being bitten. Am I right?"

This man amazed him. He was intelligent enough to gain all of this information merely by observing evidence left behind on the scene? Now that was amazing.

"Then the dog passed mako on to me when it bit me?"

Sephiroth nodded again.

That was it then. The dog had absorbed mako from some unknown source, and passed it on into Cloud's blood stream when it had bitten him. That's why his wounds had healed so quickly. That's why he had experienced such a dramatic boost of energy.

Sephiroth knew by the look on the boy's face that he had put two and two together and come up with the solution. Now, to tell him why he was sick, and then . . . well, he hadn't really planned that far ahead yet.

"Now that you know this, it's time I told you of the disadvantages of being exposed to mako."

Cloud's eyes darted from the floor and up to his eyes, as if he'd temporarily forgotten where he was.

"Mako is a very complex substance. If one is exposed to too much, he becomes what is referred to as 'mako poisoned.' The symptoms of mako poisoning are incoherency, unconsciousness, high fever, cold sweats, nausea, blurred vision, and fits of blurred vision."

Dread settled over Cloud as the list of symptoms became slightly familiar.

Sephiroth appraised the boy's silent demeanor before continuing.

"I see you've already figured it out. While your body hadn't absorbed too much, you were still poisoned. You see. The body becomes . . . addicted to mako, in a way. It begins to rely on the extra boost of strength, and the heightened abilities. As the body slowly uses up its supply of mako, it goes into what is called 'mako withdrawal.' Mako withdrawal is an occurrence where there is too little mako in the bloodstream, yet the body still absorbs what is left all at once, thinking it can gain more through taking it all. Mako withdrawal has roughly the same affects as mako poisoning. Do you follow?"

Cloud remained silent for a moment, contemplating the new revelation.

"That's what happened to me. I went into mako withdrawal, then when I . . . " Cloud stopped. Did this man know how he'd tried to rob the man in the grey shirt and black hat?

His thoughts were interrupted by a slight chuckle from the other man.

"I know what you're thinking. Cloud, the man you so graciously tried to rob was I. You're quite the lucky one. If you had been anyone else, you'd most likely be dead, and if I had been anyone else, you'd have died of the mako withdrawal."

Cloud regarded him with the look of one who'd been thoroughly discombobulated. What was he talking about?

"Cloud. There is only one cure for mako withdrawal, and that is more mako. I brought you back here, and administered the cure. I've done so twice thus far. Your body absorbs it abnormally fast. You will live, but there is one problem. The only place to get mako is from the laboratory at ShinRa Headquarters. Do you see where this is going?"

Cloud was momentarily stunned. This man had cared enough for him to save his life? He didn't understand. Why? Why would anyone care about a nobody such as himself? Maybe this man wanted something in return, something he'd already killed another person to avoid. His heart pounded in his chest rapidly.

"Cloud, you'll have to continue mako treatments for the rest of your life, or die. Do you understand?"

Cloud simply starred at him with disbelief. He was going to die?

"My proposition, Cloud, is to allow you to join SOLDIER. To do so, you'll have to first undergo basic military training, then work your way up from there. You'll have to pass the SEE, SOLDIER Entrance Exam, but you'll be receiving mako injections on a weekly basis, due to your unique situation. That should give you a leg up on the other cadets. Well . . . ?"

"J . . . join the military?" Sephiroth watched as Cloud's eyes widened with an implacable emotion.

Cloud shuddered at the thought of being around men, most likely all bigger than himself, twenty-four-seven every day of the week. His past experiences had made him more than skiddish around other males. He imagined himself showering with other jeering teens, imagined having to sleep in barracks full of sexually active, hormonal teenagers. Images of Matthew and Arlex flashed through his head. Remembered feeling of being held down by Arlex as Matthew unzipped his fly . . . preparing to . . . to . . .

He shook his head frantically. No. Never again.

"I . . . I can't join the military."

"Why not?" Sephiroth questioned. The anxiety in the boy's trembling voice surprised him, and did not go unnoticed.

"I . . . I just can't."

"Cloud, I'm sure you've guessed by now that I know of your crime." This was the only reason Sephiroth could come up with as to why Cloud was fearful of joining ShinRa. He was afraid of facing the sentence for what he had done.

Cloud had feared as much. If this man knew of his murder, why was he helping him? It had to be a trick. His eyes skimmed the room for an escape. Unfortunately, the white-haired man sat between him and the door that appeared to be the exit. What now? Should he come out and tell the man why he'd murdered Matthew? Should he tell him why he was currently shaking with an emotion akin to terror? Should he tell this complete stranger why he was afraid to join the military? He longed to be some place else, any place else but here . . . or back at the orphanage . . . or in prison. He didn't want to join ShinRa, he'd just go through the same thing there again, and he may not be as lucky this time. His assailant might actually succeed. His innocence might be stolen by someone he didn't love, someone he didn't want.

He considered his choices. He'd die if he didn't trust this man. His body needed this . . . mako. Could he possibly get it from somewhere else? He doubted it. The man had said it could only be attained from the laboratories of ShinRa Inc. Was he lying? Why would he lie?

Cloud didn't know what to think anymore. His mind raced with unanswered questions, questions he so desperately wished would just go away. Ignorance, as they say, was truly bliss. He'd have to accept this man's offer. He'd have to trust Sephiroth in order to keep his promise to himself. He'd take whatever sick prank fate threw at him. He would survive The Planet's cruel trials of strength and will on his own. He didn't need anyone's help . . . right? His judgment had begun to falter and his weakness had begun to leak through his crumbling facade. He was stuck with a decision he didn't want to make, yet knew he had to. His conscience conflicted with itself. Go against his principles and trust this man, or disregard his need to live? He was torn between those two decisions. Not knowing what to do, he did the only thing his mind would allow at the moment. He wept. He didn't care if someone was watching. He'd forgotten Sephiroth's presence. He'd forgotten where he was. God he was scared, so scared. The fear wracked his mind to the point when he couldn't even remember what he was afraid of.

Sephiroth watched as the boy suffered what seemed to be a mental break down. He was no expert on human sociology, seeing as he was as introverted as a snail, but something was wrong . . . terribly wrong. Cloud's knuckles grew white as his fingers dug into his own scalp. He'd begun to shake violently. What was going on in that head of his? A lone tear fell to the ground between the blonde's feet, accompanied by a single quick intake of breath. Cloud was crying? Why?

Sephiroth had little to no experience in comforting people. Hell, the only person he'd ever truly cared to comfort was Zack, but Zack had never broken down like this. He was a little upset after he'd caught his girlfriend, Aeris, with another man, but he hadn't reacted to this extreme. What was he supposed to do? He didn't even know why Cloud was so upset. That was it. The first step to fixing something broken was to determine the source of the problem. The first step to comforting Cloud, was to find out what was wrong.

Sephiroth inched forward, unsure of his actions and placed a hand of Cloud's shaking shoulder. The blonde jerked away with a slight yelp as if his touch had burned.

He let the boy back away as much as he would. He didn't want to be touched, so Sephiroth would settle for verbal condolences.

"Strife? Cloud?" He waited for a reaction. The blonde didn't seem to hear him at all. He was beginning to worry. Should he call Zack? Zack was good with people. Everyone loved Zack and his up beat nature. Zack possessed that certain charismatic personality that made people feel as if they'd known him their entire lives. If Zack had the patience to worm his way into the icy General's friendship, he could do anything, but Sephiroth didn't want to involve Zack in this. Cloud was wanted for murder, and, even with his high military ranking, he could easily be charged with assisting a criminal.

Sephiroth had always been an expert at predicting his opponent's next move on a battle field, but he was completely unprepared for what Strife did next. The boy bolted from the couch and fled to the nearest door, which just happened to be the kitchen. Sephiroth sat, unsure of what to do, and puzzled by the boy's actions. An alarm sounded in his head as he heard the sounds of someone rattling through a silverware drawer.

He sprang to his feet in an instant, knowing what he'd find even before he found it. He rounded the bar to find the blonde sitting in a corner with a butcher knife in his hands. He froze as the boy spoke, voice dripping with fear.

"Stop . . . just leave me alone. Please, just go away. This is what I want."

Sephiroth knelt before Cloud, now more apprehensive than ever. What to do? Surely the boy wouldn't, . . . would he? He didn't care to find out. He had to get the blade away from him. Not wanting to resort to physical contact, which would likely hurt the boy, he decided first to try talking . . . not one of Sephiroth's strong points.

"Cloud . . . put the knife down . . . you're young, you have a whole life ahead of you."

The blonde was shaking now, and clutching the blade to his chest as if it were life itself.

"No . . . this is what I want. Please, just go, let me end it . . . this is what I want. "

Cloud's head shook as his body rocked slightly. His skin glistened with an all new coat of sweat.

"No Cloud, it isn't." He refrained from reaching out, remembering Cloud's reaction to his last attempt at comforting him via physical contact.

"How do you know this isn't what I want? What I need? You haven't lived my life. You aren't trapped in this endless nightmare. Please . . . don't make me suffer any longer."

"Suffer what?" He didn't even recognize his own voice. It flowed from his vocal chords softer and . . . sweeter than ever before. He was glad for its sudden, yet welcome change.

Cloud hesitated before answering in a whisper, barely audible, even to Sephiroth's enhanced hearing.

"What he did . . . what they did. Don't make me . . . I'll just die anyway, let me make it quick."

"Cloud . . . who is 'he'? Who are 'they'?"

Cloud buried his face in his knees.

Okay. Let's try /another question, shall we? /

"Cloud . . . don't make you do what?"

The blonde lifted his head to reveal piteously reddened eyes.

"I . . . I c-can't . . . join the army."

"Why not?"

Cloud simply shook his head, refusing to give up more information. Sephiroth waited patiently. He might not be a psychiatrist, but patience was one thing he had plentiful amounts of.

Cloud stayed in the corner, rocking and shaking with his sobs. What had happened to this boy to damage him so? Who had done it? Sephiroth observed him cautiously, ready to act if the blonde tried another unexpected stunt. The blonde's quivering slowed, as did his wrenching sobs. As his breathing evened out, he lifted his head from his knees and Sephiroth found himself being studied by watery blue eyes. Just as Sephiroth thought he'd made it out of the danger zone and had lowered the majority of his guard, Cloud lifted the blade and drew it across his wrist in one quick movement, slicing his radial vein. Blood began to flow to the floor.

Sephiroth darted forward, seized the boy's uninjured hand, and squeezed his wrist, forcing him to drop the knife with a clang to the tiled floor. He wrapped his arms around the blonde like a straight jacket, careful not to grip too hard, for fear of harming Cloud while trying to keep him from harming himself.

Cloud panicked at being physically restrained and began pleading to be released, bucking and kicking like a madman. Sephiroth was just as stunned by his own actions as the blonde, but knew he'd acted accordingly. Cloud had to be restrained, or else he'd hurt himself, or worse, kill himself even.

Sephiroth wrestled the blonde to his bedroom, not missing how he began to struggle even harder at the realization of where he was. Sephiroth was the most powerful man in the military, yet this boy almost slipped from his grasp out of mere desperation to escape on several tries. Sephiroth grew wary of fighting the added strength of the boy's legs, and decided to pick him up. Once in his arms, Cloud flailed just as determinedly, if not, more, but Sephiroth held on. He lay Cloud on the bed, and lay beside him, holding him in position, his goal being to hold the blonde there on the bed until he fell asleep, or at least calmed down.

Unfortunately, sleep was the last thing on Cloud's mind. All he could think about was escape. He began to plead desperately.

"Please don't, please. . . . Please no." A new wave of tears began.

"Don't what?" Sephiroth asked in as comforting a voice as he could muster while straining every muscle in his body to keep the blonde there.

"Don't . . . don't hurt me please. "

This statement bothered Sephiroth immensely. It brought him back to his former question. What had happened to this boy to instill fear of this measure into him? What was the boy afraid of? Him? Sephiroth meant no harm at all in his actions, but apparently Cloud thought so.

"Shhh . . . Cloud, I'm not going to hurt you. Settle down before you hurt yourself . . . again. "

Blood darkened Sephiroth's black sheets as Cloud struggled. His attempts at fleeing became weaker and weaker as he lost more blood. He calmed a bit, but Sephiroth wasn't sure if his words had actually penetrated Cloud's panicking skull, or the blood loss had taken its toll. He'd have to stop the blood flow before he lost too much. Mako could take care of closing wounds, but the bleeding of the vein had to be slowed first.

Sephiroth stroked the boy's blonde spikes, trying to calm him down more so he could apply proper bandages to the self-inflicted wound, which still bled freely. Cloud's hair was just as feathery and soft as it looked. Sephiroth caught himself imagining how it would look clean, and nearly slapped himself. He would have, if not for the trembling, over heated body next to him.

Cloud faltered slightly and relaxed his quivering muscles as Sephiroth ran long fingers slowly through his hair. He couldn't think. Why did he feel so tired? The white-haired man's warmth barely registered in his exhausted mind. He could no longer struggle, not that he wanted to. He couldn't even remember what he'd been trying to get away from, much less why. At the moment, all he could do was focus on the skilled fingers sifting through his hair. He'd never been petted like this before, and it felt so good. He didn't even stop to question why the man cared to comfort him. He just let himself enjoy the caresses, and focused on the man's deep, even breathing, as opposed to his own shallow sporadic heaves. He leaned into the man's touch and slowed his own breaths to match the ones behind him.

Sephiroth continued his ministrations, and focused on lying still, so as not to startle the blonde in his arms. He felt Cloud's breathing slow and even out. They became deeper, and he'd stopped shaking all together. He was positive the boy had fallen asleep . . . or passed out from blood loss.

He ceased his actions, untangled himself from the blonde's side, and covered him with the soft black comforter. He left to his bathroom, returning moments later with bandages and disinfectant.

He pulled up a chair from a corner, and sat at his bedside, observing the sleeping figure. He ran through the previous events in his head. What exactly had just happened? Why would anyone wish to take their own life? Perhaps he'd never understand.

He pressed a warm cloth to Cloud's bleeding wrist to stifle the blood flow.

What did Cloud mean by then things he'd said? He'd said he was suffering, and wished to end it. Suffering from what? Physical pain? Surely the boy would have resorted to such measures earlier instead of pulling through this far if that were the case.

Who was 'he'? Who were 'they'? What had they done to Cloud to put him in such mental torment? Why had the boy pleaded for Sephiroth not harm him, when all he'd wanted was to help? Sephiroth wanted to help him overcome the obstacle of his mako poisoning. Sephiroth wanted to learn if he was guilty of his crime, or innocent. He wanted to know, if Cloud had murdered, then why?

The bleeding had slowed enough to allow Sephiroth to apply the bandages. He wrapped them around the boy's wrist tightly, but not so that they cut off blood flow completely.

So many questions raced through his mind, driving him mad. Finally, he decided to work on one at a time. What connections did Cloud's crime have with his mental breakdown? Perhaps he'd had an episode like today's and killed in a blind craze. Sephiroth doubted it. The boy had seemed perfectly fine, if not a bit jumpy, but still sane, before he'd set him off. Sephiroth had said something about joining the military. That was the turning point of the conversation. Cloud had panicked like a wounded animal. What was so frightening about joining ShinRa? What would scare Strife to the pint he'd rather face death? The only thing Sephiroth could come up with, was pain of some sort. Suffering, like Cloud had said as he crouched in the kitchen floor, holding a knife.

That brought him to another previously posed question. What did Cloud mean by 'suffering'? He'd already ruled out physical pain. That left mental pain. The root of the mind's suffering usually began with fear. Fear of what?

A headache had crept into Sephiroth's mind as he tried to understand this enigma that had made itself known via this boy. Rising from his chair, he decided to question Cloud later. He'd ask what the boy was so afraid of. He'd ask why. He would find all of his answers.
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Author Notes:
Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. I've had it finished for about five days now, but my dad forgot to pay the internet bill, and it takes them forever to turn it back on. Therefore, I couldn't post it as soon as I'd completed it, like I wanted. Instead, I had to wait until fall break was over, then post it at school. I'll probably get detention or something if my teacher finds out I'm not researching for my project, but that's a risk I'm willing to take to get this up ASAP because I love to know what you guys think, nor do I want to lose your interest by forcing you to wait an eternity between each chapter.

Also, I've changed a few MINOR details in chapters one through three. If something doesn't make sense, chances are, I've added, or rewritten something in an earlier chapter that makes it make sense, but I'm sure that won't be a problem. Like I said, they are only MINOR details, like a new paragraph here and there. You may not notice, but I'm a perfectionist, so, naturally, I did. Therefore, I had to fix the little quirks because they slowly drove me insane.

I've risked detention and a strict reprimand in order to get this story to you. The least you can do to thank is send me lots of reviews! Constructive criticism is welcomed as well.