FicWad

Kelly and Kara were placing the ornaments with care and the Christmas tree was really taking shape. Happily Monica and Donna sat observing while enjoying their coffee. "This is the prefect way to decorate for Christmas" Donna said as she watched Kelly picked up a strange looking ornament and eye it strangely. "Gerard made that one when he was five." She explained.
Monica smiled picturing in her mind Gerard the young artist. She could just imagine him as a little boy with that intense stare working on the ornament until it was just what he wanted. He had been gone for several days and she hated to admit it but missed him. Without warning her thoughts flew back to what had almost happened between them Thanksgiving night. It was a hard memory to forget but it was finally pushed from her mind when Donna spoke.
"Thank you girls. You have done such a nice job I have gifts for all of you."
Monica started to shake her head. "Donna you have done so much for us already. You have given us a home, we will never be able to repay you." She watched as Donna crossed the room and came back with a bag.
"Actually they are gifts from Gerard. He had Brian get them."
The girls walked over looking curiously as Donna pulled out three cell phones and handed them each one. Monica spoke "That is really nice but we really don't need them." They had never had cell phones because money had always been so tight. It still was because she was saving for a deposit on an apartment she and the girls would be getting after the first of the year. Leaving this home would be hard but they had to strike out on their own eventually. As much as she wished it were true she and the girls weren't really family.
The girls started to argue with their mother. They had wanted cell phones for quite awhile. Donna reasoned with her, "Monica these are just extra phones on Gerard's plan. No cost for you at all. He just thinks it would be safer for all of you if you had these."
Now she was taking things from Gerard and not just his mother. She would never be self-sufficient at this rate. "I'm sorry but its just not right for Gerard to give us cell phones." she tried to hand hers back to Donna.
Donna refused to take it from her hand, "Monica sometimes we have to accept things from others even if we think we shouldn't. These phones will make it safer for you and the girls and I know you want your girls safe at all times."
There was something in her tone that told Monica this woman realized more about her than she had believed. "It will give you piece of mind when they are away" she paused then added "and it will give Gerard, my worrying son, piece of mind too"
The girls looked at her expectantly. She considered Donna's words then nodded her acceptance. The girls took their new cell phones and raced off.
"I know it is hard for you to accept help Monica but that was the right decision."
" I just feel strange accepting this" she held up her phone and flipped it open. Pushing a button she noticed several numbers were already programmed into the phone. The first number was Gerard's. Donna reached out and touched her hand "He is trying to help you, Monica. Don't push him away. It's not easy for him either. He has been hurt, you have been hurt." She saw that Monica was about to say something so she held up her hand "It is none of my business I know you will not talk about if but Monica it is easy for me to see. You have a sadness in your eyes."
Monica was shocked. Gerard had said the same thing about her. How could they see what others never had? "I just want to be self-sufficient, I don't want to depend on others." she gave a hollow laugh, "that sounds funny coming from someone who is living in your house, eating your food and has a job because your son recommend me for it"
Donna sighed "Monica you are living here because it is best for your girls and for me. I love having the house full of people. As for the job Brian would never have hired you if you weren't right for it no matter what Gerard said to him. You need to have some confidence in yourself. Taking help from someone isn't weak, if anything at times it is much harder. You are a wonderful mother, you do what is best for your girls, you protect them." Her words went straight to Monica's heart. The hell she had been through had been suffered for her girls. She would die for them; she almost had died protecting them.
"One more thing, honey" Donna squeezed her hand, " I have two wonderful sons but I always wanted a daughter. You have given me that wish."
Monica was so touched by her words she couldn't speak so she reached over and hugged Donna tightly. "Thank you" she finally whispered.
Later that evening Monica checked out her new phone. She called Brain and thanked him for his part in getting the phones. He laughed telling her that Gerard had been worried about her accepting them. " He was just sure you would throw them back at me so he had his mom pass them out."
"Please thank him, it was very nice of him to be concerned about the girls," she told him with a sigh.
Brian cleared his throat "It isn't just the girls he is concerned about, Monica"
Looking over at the Christmas tree she couldn't think of anything to say. "You could call him and thank him you know" Brian said, "If you call now it is early morning there and I know he will be getting ready for an interview. I'm sure he would be happy to hear from you. Just call the number he had me program in your phone"
Monica lied and said Donna was calling her. After saying goodbye she sat and tried to analyze her thoughts. She knew she didn't want to admit it but she was afraid to call him. Just hearing his voice would flood her with memories she was trying desperately to forget. Staring at the phone for a moment she flipped to his number. She reasoned with herself that calling him would be the right thing to do, just so she could thank him. So why couldn't she make herself just push the button? Suddenly the phone beeped and she was so startled she dropped it.
Quickly she picked it up and looked at the display. It was Gerard." Hello, Gerard" she willed her voice to sound normal.
His voice sounded tired "Hello. Just wanted to make sure mom gave you and the girls the phones."
She took a deep breath "Yes and thank you. I was just getting ready to call you" Liar, lair the voice in her head chanted.
Gerard's laugh ended in a smokers cough, "You were probably looking at the phone thinking. Should I call him?"
Unbelievably he was right but he didn't need to know that, "Why would I do that? I'm not afraid to call you. I was just going to call and say thanks." she tired not to sound bitchy."
"God I love how prickly you get. I bet you are making the scrunchy face right now aren't you?"
This man could be so annoying "I'm not prickly and just what the hell is a scrunchy face?"
"When you get annoyed you make a scrunchy face, its cute really. Not that you're not cute all the time. It's just cuter than normal."
She was about to snap back at him when she realized he has just called her cute. Damn him, she had had a good mad going. "Well I'm making that face at you right now."
"I wish I was there to see it," he said quietly. "I miss home"
Monica was touched by his words. It was hard for her to say but she did "I wish you were here too" she whispered. There was a silence between them neither knowing just what to say. It was broken by Rays voice in the background calling to Gerard.
"You have to go" she said "thanks again and take care of yourself" She was about to hang up but his words stopped her.
"Monica, please take care of yourself. I need you to be there when I get home"
His words surprised her. "Goodbye Gerard" she said before disconnecting.