FicWad

For stardustmajick at LJ. Spoilers for both the end of PSOH and vague, character spoilers for SPSOH.


Five Reasons Count D Would Turn Down Sweets

reason one: principle

"What?! What the hell's wrong with them?!"

"My dear detective, surely you can not expect me to eat such low-grade chocolate."

"Well, excuse me for not being able to afford that fucking French brand you like so much. Some of us don't have rich grandpas, you know? Besides, they taste the same to me."

"Ah, you poor deprived man. Your taste buds must be desensitized to the subtle delicacies of fine confectioneries."

"Yeah, right. Like that could happen."

"Oh, but it's true. I hear it is caused by smoking and alcohol. Very tragic."

"Shut up and drink your goddamn tea."



reason two: ache

He had never been in so much pain. It was agonizing, excruciating. He could hardly speak without causing a small fire to burn him up from the inside.

But it must be suffered, he firmly commanded himself. He never wanted to see that person again.

So when the detective held the boxed cake out to him, he gritted his teeth (and immediately wished he hadn't) and refused it, ignoring his mind's pleas to accept.

After what had happened last time, he did not want to go back to the dentist ever again. That lady scared the hell out of him.



reason three: ailment

D had not felt quite right since leaving Los Angeles. He tried to tell himself it was simply from the trip. Traveling on a flying ship is no ordinary journey.

The incense had barely been lit in his new pet shop in Japan before the first wave of curious tenants came to introduce themselves. A few brought with them brochures or samples, in attempts to persuade the Count to help advertise their stores.

One such woman owned a sweet shop on one of the lower floors. She had brought with her a box of mixed chocolates, made by an American company.

Looking at the box, D's stomach had turned a flip; once the woman had gone, the box had been dumped in the trash without one candy having been eaten.



reason four: faithfulness

He had been sure it would work. After all, they say that in Chinatown, to get what you want, you should pull when you want to push. And everyone knew about the Count's love of sweets.

So he'd went and bought the most expensive candy he could find, in order to butter D up and get him to talk. However, to his shock and dismay, it didn't go exactly how he'd planned.

"I'm very sorry, but I simply cannot accept these from you." D's perpetual smirk faded a bit, and his eyes grew sad and distant. "My deepest apologies, Taizu."



reason five: better things

When the detective finally showed up on his doorstep again, five years down the road, he did so empty-handed. Neither seemed able to speak. Trying to break the silence, D offered him a slice of cake, far more calmly than he felt.

All the animals were on edge too, waiting to see what would happen. Leon said nothing, striding forward. D flinched, ever-so-slightly, as large hands reached out to him, sure he was about to be attacked. But Leon took D's face in his hands and pressed their mouths together.

D knew he'd never be satisfied with mere sweets again.