Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > This looks like a job for A.

IV. Trash talking in Casa del Wentz

by FrostedGlass 8 reviews

Patrick's hunger is turning into an existential problem for kitchen supplies, Andy's secret broccoli issue is revealed and Pete has to be a good boy and face A.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Published: 2006-12-05 - Updated: 2006-12-05 - 785 words

This looks like a job for A.

IV. Trash talking in Casa del Wentz

In the anteroom Mrs. Wentz was met by Patrick. "May I help you?" he asked eagerly.

"Why, sure, Tricky," she handed him the bags.

Patrick dropped them to the floor and started rummaging through them to find something he could pop into his mouth without cooking it first.

"Ah, shoo-shoo!" Mrs. Wentz flapped her arms wildly.

The guy looked at her for a moment, "Gan we 'af shigen fo lunsh?"*

She softly pushed him aside and hurriedly stuffed the groceries back into the paper bags before picking them up again, "We're having pot rost with hotdogs and fried bacon, Patrick."

He smiled and rubbed his tummy, "Mmhhh, my favorite."

With a "I know, I know, Tricky," she made her way past him and entered the living room with the adjoined kitchen.

"Hello, boys," she said to the three figures on the sofas. Patrick had followed her into the kitchen and eyed the goods she was taking out of the bags.

"Peter, that cute girl is outside again and-"

"I KNOW, MOMMY!" he cried in frustration. "I want it to stop. A restraining order should do it."

"Come on, Pete," Andy interjected. "Don't tell me you don't like all the attention."

"Well, if she was hot...maybe. But she doesn't even wear eyeliner, man."

Joe coughed, "Personally, I think she's kinda hot."

Patrick forced himself to take his eyes off Mrs. Wentz who had started to prepare the pot roast, "But you also think you're handsome, Joseph."

"And I know for a fact that you're gay," Joe countered with untouchable Jewish logic.

This earned him a warning look from Pete's mother.

"Homosexual, I mean," he corrected himself sheepishly.

"Um, Mrs. Wentz?" Andy hadn't failed to realize what Mrs. Wentz was cooking. "Will we have vegetables with the main course? Because you know, I don't eat things that used to have a heart* or any products coming from them... Or broccoli. I also don't eat broccoli. That stuff freaks me out."**

"'Fraid not, Andy," the woman replied. "That's too bad. I didn't even bring some salad... Pete, be a darling, and pluck some dandelions from the neighbor's lawn. No friend of my boy has to suffer hunger in this household."

Patrick was about to disagree when he realized that Mrs. Wentz giving her little speech was the perfect opportunity for letting the other half of the sponge disappear into his mouth.

"Moooooooommy, do I have to? The freaky girl is outside," Pete whined.

Before his mother could reply Joe reminded his friend to ask about the lyrics that had mysteriously disappeared.

"Right," Pete said. "Hey, Mommy. Did you see the sheet with my new lyrics on it? I think I left it on the living room table."

"Oh, Peter. I'm sorry. I threw that into the trash earlier. I didn't realize it was something important."

Brimming with anger and new ideas for self-aggrandizing pictures to plaster the internet with, Pete got up from the couch and stomped his feet. "How could you? It's my blood, sweat and tears!"

"Eww, Pete, we'll be eating in a bit," Joe wanted to keep the mention of his pal's bodily fluids to the minimum. He was grateful that the list hadn't went on though.

"Mommy," he continued, "it's our new song. Didn't you read it before you threw it away?"

"Really, Petey, I'm so sorry," his mother wiped her hands on her apron and grabbed the egg timer that Patrick was about to prod with his tongue out of his hands. "Actually I did read it. I just thought it was some stuff that Michael had scribbled down. You know, there was no cohesion or sense or anything. And lots of spelling mistakes."

"Michael? As in my 12-year-old nephew Michael?" Pete's eyes widened with disbelief.

Mrs. Wentz shrugged, "Why don't you look if you can find it in the trash can when you go outside to get the dandelions?"

"Ha ha, it's time to bond with your stalker," Andy teased Pete as he made his way to the front door, huffing loudly.


* = "Can we have chicken for lunch?" if you're chewing on a piece of sponge while talking.

** Would Andy eat Pete? Yes, perhaps with a little bit of vinegar.

* In his junkie years Andrew Hurley used to be addicted to the green drug. Upon joining Cauliflower et al. Anonymous before he became a member of Fall out Boy and functioning society, he vowed never to taste the forbidden vegetable again. To this day he has to battle panic attacks when entering a toy store, in fear of seeing a Cabbage Patch Kids doll eye to eye.
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