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Willow could hardly contain her excitement. She was actually sitting across from the blue eyed blonde that had penetrated her thoughts all summer long. They were going to the same college. They even had several of the same classes. Would it be too much to hope for that she too was interested in more than friendship. Her head shook as she realized that Tara was saying something.
"I felt something, w-when we shook h-hands." Tara smiled nervously at the red head. She, in her heart, knew that Willow only wanted friendship. But that was better than nothing. But there was this strong connection between them. It must be nothing more than magical.
Willow nodded. "Me too." Willow's heart soared at the thought that Tara was actually thinking that there was more than friendship. That must be what she was talking about.
Tara took a sip from her mocha. Her throat felt so dry, suddenly. "I-I don't k-know if you'll think I-I'm crazy, but I'm a-a w-witch."
Willow's eyes widened in surprise. Her heart also sunk into her chest. 'This is what she wanted to tell me. Not that having someone to do spells with isn't great. But I want so much more from her. Maybe more than she has to give.' "I'm a witch, or at least learning about witchcraft myself. Have you checked out the campus wiccans?" She managed to keep the disappointment out of her voice.
"N-no. Have y-you gone to any of their m-meetings?" Tara's blue eyes sparkled in the afternoon sun.
For a moment, Willow was mesmerized by the twinkling. "Haven't yet. Maybe that could be something we could do together. If you want. Don't mean to push. It's just that I've never had anyone else that was magically inclined, well not for a long time anyways. And I have so much yet to learn." Willow found herself breathing hard. It was the thought of spending anytime alone with the blonde woman. She was just so darn sexy.
"I-if you g-go with me, I'd l-love to." Tara actually looked up and smiled. It was a rarity and again made Willow's heart do a strange soaring flop. "M-maybe there are others t-that are magically inclined."
There was that sinking feeling again. Was all that Tara wanted friendship? Or was she just trying to find her way in a new place with as many fellow wiccans as she could find. Tara's shy smile warmed Willow's heart. Again, if it were only friendship, than friendship was all she got. At least the woman would be in her life.
"I think they meet this Thursday at four. If you don't have a class, maybe we could go together and check it out." Willow gazed at the woman across from her. She was trying to find any sign that she was interested in her the same way.
Instead, Tara bowed her head and sighed. "I don't h-have a class. W-we can meet at y-your dorm."
Willow's heart jumped. 'Am I ready for Buffy to meet this angel that sits across from me. Especially since I don't know if we can ever be more than friends.' She shrugged and asked, "you know where I live?"
Tara looked up at the red head with those shy blue eyes. "T-that's the f-first thing I-I did. I-I wanted to know w-where my f-friend lived."
Willow's heart did another somersault. She was getting dizzy with all the emotional leaps. But to be around her, it was worth the sacrifice. "I am. You're friend." Willow sighed as she said it. She knew that she had probably sealed the relationship as nothing more than friendship. But she didn't care. She desperately wanted her in her life. It was like she needed her to live. It was the strangest feeling.
Tara did another one of her half smiles. She glanced at the clock on the wall behind Willow. "I-I'm sorry but m-my next c-class starts in t-twenty minutes." She started to get up. "I'm you're f-friend too. I-I'll see you Thursday." She quickly left.
Willow's heart sank as she watched her go. 'Yep, definitely resigned to just a friendship.'
It was now eight that night. Buffy was preparing to do her usual patrolling. Willow was lying on the bed. Her head was buried in the pillow. Buffy knew what look meant.
"Will, what's the matter." Buffy quickly came over and sat on the end of her friends bed.
Willow rolled over. She half smiled at Buffy. "No use in denying it to you. You know me to well." She turned to a half sitting position, resting her head on her knees. "I think that Tara's not interested in me the way I am her."
"What gave you that idea?" Buffy scooched closer to her best friend. Willow had already told her about Tara and the witch thing and the wicca group.
"She said I was her friend. Granted it was after I said she was my friend." Willow had small tears at the corner of her eyes. "I thought I could handle just a friendship with her. But now, I'm not so sure. Now that I've actually gotten to know her a little, I'm more in love with her than ever. I'm not sure we can be just friends."
"Wow, Willow. I'm not sure what to say." Buffy put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "You've got a big decision to make. Do you try and stay friends, or do you risk losing her and telling her how you feel."
Willow now let the tears fall. "I wish I knew."
Meanwhile, Tara sat all alone in her dorm room. She too, was crying. Her heart was aching. She knew that the red head couldn't really love her. Not the way that she did her. But to have had the word friendship. It just about ruined any chance that the two could be anything more than friends. Unless, of course, she was brave for once. Maybe she should be bold and make the first move. And risk her one friend she had in Sunnydale. Without Willow's friendship, she had nothing. What was she going to do?