FicWad

Tara simply kept staring at Willow. If what Willow said was true, and Riley was hiding something from Buffy, it would be huge. Especially since they didn't really know that much about these army guys. Even if they were good guys, it would still be a lot for Buffy to deal with. Tara took Willow's hand in her own. She was wondering what exactly they were going to do.
"W-we have that date where we're g-going to meet the other s-scoobies at The Bronze." Tara tried to get her thoughts in order. "I-if Riley shows up, t-than I could t-try and see if I recognize his voice."
Willow smiled appreciatively at her girlfriend. She had at first thought that Tara might think that she was crazy or something. But here she was, giving her the support she needed oh so desperately. "Thanks. I really don't want to think that Riley is hiding something this huge, especially since we don't know what the commando guys are up to and I know technically Buffy is hiding something too, but that's all sacred duty and the less people that know the better." She sighed as she felt Tara's other hand on her cheek. She sat there absorbing the strength that came from Tara. It was as if she were the missing link in her life. That she had finally found the other half of herself that had been missing. They were definitely meant to be as one.
"I-I wasn't even supposed to f-find out." Tara pulled her hand away from Willow's face. Willow grabbed it before she could pull it too far away. "Y-you only told me because u-us being t-together means that I-I'm in extra danger."
Willow shook her head. She pulled Tara into a tight embrace. She pulled back and kissed Tara on the forehead. "Don't be silly. I want you to know everything there is to know about me. I know I kinda forgot to tell you when we first got together, but it was because I was so darn excited. I knew that I was falling for you, but how was I to know that you felt the same way as I do. I love you with all my heart. And everything I have is yours, including my very soul. Unfortunately, that means all this bad stuff comes with it. That just so sucks beyond belief and the telling of it. But I'm not trying to hide anything from you. I hope you're not hiding anything from me."
Tara turned her head and looked down at the floor for a moment. "T-there is something a-about my family. A-and me." She turned her gaze back to Willow's beautiful green eyes. "But it can w-wait until w-we know what's going on with the commandos."
Willow sighed before she said anything. "So, you are kinda keeping stuff from me." She let go of Tara's hand. She started to walk towards the entrance to the library. She felt a gentle hand on her arm.
"I-I'm just n-not ready to t-tell you." Her eyes got really sad. Tears began forming in the corner of her eyes. "C-can we go b-back to my r-room?"
Willow took in the look on her girlfriend's face. It now appeared that she had hurt her. And that was the last thing that she ever wanted to do. She really didn't want the goddess standing in front of her in any type of pain. Especially pain that she inflicted. "Oh, goddess! I pushed too hard. I'm so sorry baby. Let's get you back to your room." Tara smiled very appreciatively.
It wasn't long before they were in Tara's dorm room. Both women sat on the edge of Tara's bed. Willow had both the blonde's hands in her own. There were still little tears in the corner of the blonde's eyes. Willow felt so guilty for putting those tears there. She was cursing herself for being so stupid.
"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to push." She brought Tara into a huge hug. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I was really stupid." She sighed but than smiled a little. "Maybe this has to do with that control thing." Tara looked at her with a confused look. "Maybe that's how I could lose control. If I keep pushing too hard and too fast, than maybe I could easily lose control of myself. It's not a pleasant thought, but it could be what happens, if I'm not careful."
This brought a little smile onto Tara's beautiful face. It made Willow's heart flip. Tara brought her hand to Willow's face. Than she brought her other hand. She leaned in and kissed her very gently on the lips. "I do want to s-share everything w-with you. And, you weren't r-really pushing too hard. It's just very big a-and very painful." She dropped her hands from Willow's face and began staring at the floor. "I-I'm afraid that y-you won't want a-anything to d-do with me i-if I do tell you."
Willow was surprised at her words. What on earth could Tara possibly have to tell her that would make her not want to be with her. There was nothing that she could even possibly think of. Tara was her everything. There was nothing in this world that would keep the two of them apart. She slowly intertwined her fingers in Tara's. She squeezed her hand very gently. When Tara kept staring at the floor, Willow's grip became a little firmer. Finally, Tara looked into those strong green eyes of her girlfriend's.
There was also a huge smile on Willow's face. It was a smile of love and understanding. Finally, she let out a little laugh. This brought a hurt look to Tara's face. "Sorry. I just thought that you would know me better than that by now. In the past three years of knowing Buffy, I've come across a lot of unusual things. Heck, I was dating a werewolf before I met you."
Tara's eyes widened in surprise. "You mean, Oz?"
Willow nodded. "Yeah. He got bit and well, we learned to deal with it. It wasn't always of the good to have to see him locked up in that cage. But, it was for the best."
"I-is that why you two broke up?" Tara tried to take her hand out of Willow's grip. But Willow only held on tighter.
"No." Willow shook her head. "I'd been feeling like things weren't quite right between us for a long time. Plus, I kinda started noticing I was attracted to girls, instead of guys. I didn't tell anyone. I just kept that to myself. I wasn't sure if I really was gay, or if it was just one of those things that no matter how much you love the other person, sometimes the spark just goes away or you realize it wasn't as sparky as you thought it was. But after meeting you at that college trip, I knew. And I knew that you were the one that I had the major sparkage with. I was about dying, until I got your first letter. Just the thought that you took the time to write to me. But you didn't leave an address. Even in your second letter, I thought you had decided to go somewhere else. And than, there you were. It was so unreal. But than, I didn't know if you felt the same way that I did. Big huge happy dance when you did." She leaned in kissed Tara again. "You mean everything to me. If there is something that we have to deal with, we'll deal. I've done it before. We can do anything as long as we're together."
Tara stared at Willow. Tears were now rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't help but wonder how in the world she had been so lucky to find this wonderful woman. This woman that was going to accept anything and anything about her. But if only she knew the dark secret that lay inside of her. Could she really accept that fact. She had never told anyone. No one knew. Not even Kira had known. But Willow was so different than everyone else. It was as if the two had been separated and meant to find each other so that they could complete each other. They were perfect together. They were as one and should be as one. But what she had inside, it could very well tear them apart.
She was about to tell her everything what she had hidden deep inside of her when the phone rang. She sighed heavily and walked over and picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hey, Tara. It's Buffy." The voice sounded a little excited, even though she didn't know the other woman all that well. "Is Will there with you?"
"Y-yes. Hold on." She held the phone out to Willow. "I-it's Buffy. She sounds excited. You better take this."
Willow sighed. She felt that Tara had been going to share the big thing with her. Now she had to deal with whatever bad guy stuff was going down as usual. "Hey, Buffy. What's up?"
"Nothing too big. Hope I wasn't interrupting anything." Buffy could hear the scowl from Willow. "Sorry, couldn't resist. I was wondering if, after The Bronze thing, you wanted to come on patrol with me. I have this feeling running up and down my spine that if we go out tonight, we may just come across Spike. And I'm so ready to dust that guy."
"You want Tara and me to both come along?" She didn't really want to patrol. Not tonight anyways. She wanted to finish her conversation with Tara. She wanted to find out what this big thing was that could possibly break the two of them up. There just didn't seem to be anything that was that huge. But only time would tell. "I mean, she could help if we need some magicks stuff done. She knows way more than me."
"If she wants, yeah." Buffy seemed distracted for a moment. "Are you sure she's all right with going on patrol? I mean, she is all new to this there is evil and I kill it every chance I get, stuff."
"I think she'll be all right. So," Willow hesitated. She knew what was going to happen at The Bronze later. She and Tara would be seeing if these mysterious commandos included one Riley Finn. "We meet at The Bronze at seven and begin patrolling around eight." Willow was hoping that Riley wasn't a part of whatever it was these commandos were up to. She wasn't necessarily totally getting the good guy vibe off from them.
"Sounds like a plan. See you in a few." Buffy hung up.
"Well, that brings us back to the fun that started all of this." Tara looked up at her. "We're all meeting at The Bronze in half an hour. I hope you don't mind, but I suggested that you go on patrol with us. I want to share everything with you. Besides, if something of the magical nature rears its ugly head, the two of us together is of the good." She sighed. "But we may not go patrolling if Riley turns out to be a commando. I don't know how I'm going to tell her."
Tara smiled shyly. The way that had first made Willow fall so hard for her in the first place. "W-we'll do it together. I-if that h-helps."
Willow pulled Tara into her arms. "Goddess, you know it does. Just being around you gives me all this strength. With you by my side, we can face down anything. Even any of our inner demons." She felt the blonde witch tense in her arms. She pulled back and looked deep into her blue eyes. "You do have some big inner demons, don't you?"
Tara swallowed hard. "Y-yes." She tried pulling out of Willow's comforting grip. "P-please. Just let m-me g-go."
Willow only held her tighter. "Never. Remember what I said. We'll face whatever it is we have to face. We'll face it together and that's a promise." She kissed Tara's right earlobe. "Or have you forgotten that I have my own issues we'll have to deal with. Remember my dream. I have to watch my control. If I don't, the whole world could end up being destroyed. Now there's a happy thought." Again, Tara tensed in her arms. "But remember, if I listen to you, if we work together, that won't happen. We just have to believe in one another and trust each other. And I do. I trust you with my very life."
"I trust you too." Tara sighed heavily. "W-what if those inner demons were r-real?"
Willow pulled out of the tight embrace. She did have a shocked look on her face. "What exactly are you trying to say?"
Tara looked at the clock. She now knew that her girl could handle anything she said. But there was no time to finish this talk. What she had to tell was so huge. She still didn't understand everything that was going on inside of her. But according to her family, it would happen. Her twentieth birthday was now less than a year away. And if the tales were true, that day could be a disastrous day for anyone that was around her. Including her reason for living. And she so didn't want that. She never wanted to hurt her Willow. "I-I'll tell you l-later."