Categories > Books > Harry Potter

A Very Silly Potion-making Session

by herk444 1 review

A christmas present from my friend to me. 'Twas too go to be left in the shadows. Basically, Severus gets to make the essence of....Me!

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: G - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Snape - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2006-12-07 - Updated: 2006-12-07 - 537 words

My instructions to her:

Name: Countess Vlad
Ingredient 1: A cup of dark humor
Ingredient 2: A pinch of love
Ingredient 3: A bowl of BLOOD! (No, no, no... stage blood silly!))

One line of instructions: Prepare only once a year, on a night with no moon. Pour in ingredients one at a time every thirty seconds during midnight. Allow to reach boiling.

Any special requests for the graphic/ficlet (color, content, etc.): Hmm... one word. Extreem Potions making. Iron Chef style. Let the battle begin!


What came of the instructions:

As the darkness was rising, Severus tied his bandana around his head, covering his eyebrows. This was the only night he'd be able to prepare the Essence of Countess Vlad and he wanted it right on the first shot. He just didn't have the patience to wait another year for a new moon.

He set up his ingredients in a row, in order from first to last. He set his timer for one minute and thirty seconds, chiming every thirty seconds to change the ingredients. He stool still and silent, staring straight ahead, waiting for just the right moment, just the right time to start. He consulted the Astronomy professor and calculated the time the new moon would be highest in the sky. The time crept closer. Any moment now...

"Start your brewing!" the enchanted timer yelled and Severus lunged for the first ingredient, the cup of dark humor. He dumped the ingredient into the cauldron and threw the cup to the other side of the room, behind him no less. He still had twenty seconds until the next ingredient could be added so he readied himself.

Knees bent, running quickly in place, arms out as if to get ready to take action (think American football players' speed drills). He stared straight ahead, sweat dripping down his face.

"Go now!" yelled the timer.

Severus grabbed for the pinch of love with his thumb and forefinger but he couldn't get it all. There was still remnance left on the table! He took his pinky and swept the remaining love into his hand waiting just underneath the lip of the table and dumped it in.

"Argh!" he screamed, psyching himself up for the final ingredient, the stage blood.

"It's the last one! Do it now!"

Snape grabbed the bowl of blood packets and started popping them over the cauldron and emptying the contents into the potion. Pieces of plastic flew hither and thither, some landing on shelves, others on desks and on the floor. He swatted away one that caught a draft and tried to land in the potion.

"Countess Vlad doesn't call for plastic!" His eyes were bulging, his voice becoming hoarse.

He got back in his ready position and stared at the potion, waiting for it to boil. In no time, Countess Vlad was emerging from the cauldron.

"A sedative would do you good. And so would taking off that bandana. Canary yellow just isn't your color," said Countess Vlad.

Severus's eyelids flickered, his eyeballs rolled back into his head and he collapsed to the floor. He looked to still be breathing. Vlad shurgged her shoulders, stepped out of the cauldron, over Severus and out the door.

Merry Christmas!
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