FicWad

PART 7 - The Blinding Light

Obi-Wan stood in the medcentre's reception area, absently stroking his beard. It had been over an hour since re-admitting Padmé to the Jedi healers, and he had yet to receive word as to her condition. Master Yoda went in to check on her 15 minutes before and had yet to come back out.

Obi-Wan's real worries were not with Padmé-she would receive the best medical care in all of Coruscant at the Temple, after all-but for Anakin. After bringing Padmé to the medcentre, Mace Windu returned to the Council chambers where the rest of the Council still deliberated Anakin's fate.

This is what troubled Obi-Wan. He felt he should be in the Council chambers, speaking on Anakin's behalf, but he felt responsible for Padmé and the children. More than anything, Obi-Wan wanted to be by Anakin's side when the news came through from the Council.

Obi-Wan didn't know what to do.

He leaned a hand against a column, as if trying to find strength in the structure of the Temple itself.

The click-clack of taloned feet was heard behind him. Obi-Wan turned to find Yoda looking up with gentle concern.

"Realise, you do, this is necessary?" Yoda spoke softly but firmly to the man who had started as his initiate as a youngling.

"No. No I don't," Obi-Wan replied in a strained voice that held his emotion in check.

"But you do," Yoda corrected him. "For you and him both, necessary it is to heal."

Obi-Wan's eyes lifted to gaze down the hall at the medical theatre. "And Padmé?"

"Hers, the choice it was. Faith in him, she has."

Obi-Wan's eyes flickered to the floor as the crease in his brow became more pronounced. "And I don't?"

"Answer that, only you can."

Obi-Wan's eyes closed for a moment as he found his calming centre in the Force. He had trusted Anakin with his life. In the end, it was the faith in himself he lacked. Now the opportunity presented itself to start anew with his old apprentice, and he was afraid he would squander the chance all over again. This was the possibility Obi-Wan could not face.

Re-opening his eyes, Obi-Wan met Yoda's patient gaze.

"Go to him, you should," Yoda directed. "Contact you, I will if things change."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan bowed in respect to the elder being. "And thank you."



He had lain prone on the floor for a long time after his dream-vision of Padmé on Mustafar, but now Anakin was pacing the white-walled room. He had felt Padmé's pain and distress of the beginnings of childbirth through the Force. He could not help but feel that he should be with her, doing whatever needed to be done to save her. Anakin didn't trust the Council to do what needed to be done. The Order, like the rest of the Republic, was currently diminished by the ravages of war orchestrated by Chancellor Palpatine-Dark Lord Darth Sidious. If the Jedi Order had failed to change its ways over the past millennium in order to protect the Republic against the Sith, how could they possibly help Padmé in the here and now?

Let go, Anakin, Qui-Gon's words from his dream reverberated in Anakin's mind. Such a simple task, but so hard to do.

Yet, still, with a task as important as Padmé's life, Anakin could not release his need for control.

Did he not trust his fellow Jedi? Anakin pondered this question. He thought of the masters who served on the Council whose guidance and advice he relied upon. He thought of his fellow Knights who had fought by his side in his years of training and as warriors in the recent war. Friends they had all been to him, but not as close as family. Only Obi-Wan had earned that distinction.

Obi-Wan, Anakin's father-figure, mentor, and ultimately his brother, bonded in the trenches of war, cast in spilt blood-did Anakin trust him?

With my life, was Anakin's response.

Yet nagging at the back of his mind was the cackle of doubt he couldn't easily push aside. Through the incessant memories brought forth by the Dark Vision, he felt as if he'd spent a lifetime wishing for the death of the one who had betrayed and murdered his very soul.

But who is that-who is that, really? Anakin asked himself as he buried his face in his hands, the sweat of his brow causing his unruly hair to tangle in his fingers. Images of his mentor standing on the high ground of a blackened ashen beach flashed before his mind's eye.

"Don't do it," Obi-Wan pleaded to the shreds left of the man who was once Anakin Skywalker. Unspoken, Obi-Wan's eyes implored, "Don't make me kill you."

Removing his hands from his face, he slapped bare skin and leather glove against his leggings. He released a long sigh, trying to find a calm centre in himself when the door to his cell slid back to reveal Obi-Wan.

Anakin's heart leapt to his throat. "Padmé...?" The name came out of his lips breathlessly.

"In the medcentre. She has begun labour," was Obi-Wan's answer.

Anakin's eyes went wide with fear. "Is she-?"

"She is undergoing the usual difficulties faced by millions of women throughout the galaxy, but nothing out of the ordinary." Obi-Wan entered the room, the door closing behind him. He walked just beyond where Anakin stood, unable to meet his friend's steely gaze. "Certainly nothing the healers can't handle."

Anakin's piercing gaze bore through Obi-Wan's back. He recognised Obi-Wan's tone of voice-that flat emotionless chatter the man would put on to keep his stoic Jedi mask in place.

"Why aren't you with her?" Anakin asked accusatorily, pacing behind Obi-Wan as if he were interrogating the Jedi Master.

Obi-Wan clenched and unclenched his jaw, his eyes darting over his shoulders to catch glimpses of Anakin pacing like a caged animal. "Master Yoda asked me to see how you were doing." In a softer voice, Obi-Wan spoke, "He is genuinely concerned about you, you know."

Anakin snorted disbelievingly as he stopped pacing and rolled his eyes at the closed door. The fact that Anakin was being kept hostage by his fellow Jedi proved to him how "genuinely concerned" they all were.

"I-" Obi-Wan spoke again, swallowing down his pride, "I'm sorry, Anakin. I know how much being a Jedi meant to you."

Anakin turned his hardened gaze at the older man. "Do you." His voice remained cold and disparaging.

Obi-Wan frowned. Regret filled his features as he turned to meet Anakin's stoney countenance.

"Forgive me," Obi-Wan spoke after a long silence. "I thought I could train you as well as Master Yoda. I was young. Foolish. Naïve."

Anakin's eyes squinted disapprovingly at his mentor. He circled Obi-Wan with dark eyes. "You were only fulfilling Master Qui-Gon's dying wish."

Obi-Wan lifted his eyes in surprise and turned to face Anakin with trepidation. They held each other's gaze for a moment longer before the elder Jedi spoke again. "I failed you, Anakin."

Anakin's nostrils flared as he looked down upon Obi-Wan. Even with his apologetic request to the young man, Obi-Wan only thought of his duty, his commitment to the Order.

"Can't you stop being a Jedi for one second? !" Anakin spat.

"This is who and what I am!" Obi-Wan declared, but the strain in his voice betrayed his true feelings. After a moment's pause, he asked more quietly, "What would you have me be?"

Anakin struggled with his emotions before he answered, turning a back on his mentor. Placing hands on his hips, his legs apart, Anakin frowned at the white wall before him. "A man. The man who raised me and tried to teach me right from wrong. The man I grew to love as a father."

The charged emotions sparked the energies of the Force between them.

"I am still that man, Anakin. I never stopped being that man."

Anakin closed his eyes, pain etched across his face like deep scars. He brought forth the Dark Vision willingly, as if comfort could be found within its dark shadows. He recalled the moment on the first Death Star when the Millennium Falcon had been captured, the lingering touch of the Force as it rippled with the presence of Obi-Wan's nearness. That touch had both elated him and frightened him. His master, alive, after all that time.

It saddened the creature known as Darth Vader to know he had to be the one to kill Obi-Wan.

Anakin sighed. He was being unfair to his friend by clinging to these twisted memories of their past. Obi-Wan truly was still his friend, perhaps the only one Anakin had ever made in his life who was not constructed by his own hands.

Anakin closed his eyes, bowed his head and confessed, "Obi-Wan...remember I told you about a...vision? When I fought...Sidious?" Anakin's voice was small, as if he had regressed back to that little boy who had been taken so long ago from Tatooine.

Obi-Wan cocked his head, instinctively reacting with worry for the younger man. "Yes?"

Anakin took a breath and swallowed. "I-it's crazy," he said, this time with a sad smirk as if trying to make light of the whole situation. "I...I thought I...." Anakin gave a dry laugh. "I joined Sidious. I fought against Master Windu. I cut off his hand. Then Palpatine...Sidious...destroyed him."

Anakin blinked, fighting back the tears that formed in his dark blue eyes, unable to turn and look into the eyes of his master. His first master. The one before his dark master. "At least-that's the way I remember it."

Anakin gave his mentor a sideways glance over his shoulder. In the Council chambers when Anakin had unhooked his sabre, the rest of the Council members had taken up defensive stances against him; their fear had tasted like metal in his mouth. But not Obi-Wan. Even now, all Anakin could feel emanating through their tenuous bond was worry and concern from his older friend. And sadness. Immense sadness.

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Anakin's voice rasped. "Of what I'm becoming?"

Quietly, Obi-Wan answered, "There's a beast inside all of us, Anakin."

Surprise flashed across Anakin's features as the two men's eyes met. He saw a knowingness in his master's eyes that he had never seen before. It was something that bespoke volumes of years in solitude, a haunted man whose only companions were dark thoughts and regret. A feeling Anakin knew far too well.

Anakin's head bowed with his own regret. "What will happen to me now?" he said, echoing the words he had spoken thirteen years ago upon the death of Qui-Gon Jinn.

Obi-Wan pulled out his hand from under the folds of his cloak; his knuckles were white from holding on so tightly. Reassuringly, he placed it on his friend's shoulder and spoke softly, "You will fulfill your destiny."

Pain pierced Anakin's features again as if he had been stabbed by Obi-Wan's declaration. "Destiny!" Anakin turned his dark frame away, allowing his mentor's hand to fall away from his shoulder. Quietly, he beat his artificial hand against the white wall. His deep voice was horse with unleashed emotion. "Chosen One! Chosen for /what/? !"

Obi-Wan silently watched his friend, his mind a chaotic jumble of worried possibilities. Then with a soft sigh, he turned his tired frame and shuffled to the door. It opened at his request, but the older Jedi stopped in mid-stride, suddenly realising he had an obligation to his former padawan, the boy who had grown up under his wing. Turning, Obi-Wan stared at the back of the man who continued to silently berate the Force or fate or whatever drove him.

"You were chosen, Anakin," Obi-Wan's voice came from a deep within his belly, cracked and nearly broken by the raw emotion that drove him to say it.

Anakin made a "pfft!" noise and shook his head, his black gloved hand sliding down the wall's surface in defeat.

"Not just out of obligation to Qui-Gon. Not just my duty and honour as a Jedi," Obi-Wan continued, despite his former padawan's obvious resentful demeanour. "But you were chosen. I chose you, Anakin. I chose /you/."

Anakin turned round in shock and surprise, wanting to see his master once more, wanting to look upon that aging face, deep into those tourmaline eyes to tell him...to say....

With that, Obi-Wan spun on his heel, facing the open door as if to leave, before the emotion became too much. His hand flew to his lower lip and he faced the door blindly as tears welled in his eyes. He had felt Anakin's stunned reaction through the Force, and the power of it immobilised him.

"Wh-why speak to me of this /now/?" questioned Anakin.

Obi-Wan sighed softly, an apology reflected in his eyes though his back was to Anakin and the younger man did not see it. "Because I-I suppose I didn't really understand-until now." Slowly, he turned to face his friend. "You're not only my brother, Anakin. You are my son."

Time removed itself between them. With those words, Obi-Wan had washed away the fire that had forged the dark creature known as Darth Vader.

A solitary tear broke free from Obi-Wan's eyes and fell.

The sound of Obi-Wan's comlink made them both jump.

"Yes?" Obi-Wan answered it far too loudly than he needed to do so.

"Senator Amidala, delivering she is," Yoda's voice announced from the other end.

Storm-filled eyes again met with a misty-sea of blue. Once again they were Anakin and Obi-Wan. Kenobi and Skywalker.

There wasn't a moment to lose.