FicWad

No one got a rest that night, being too busy making sure they had everything or running over everything just that once more. And then, about an hour later, running through it just that once more again.
I giggled as they all eyed their costumes wearily at various points over the night.
"You know, the shorter hair makes you look so much thinner," I commented while Gerard eyed his costume for what I had counted to be the fifth time within an hour. I carried two cups of coffee over to where he was sat at the table, seating myself next to him as I set them on the table. He pouted playfully (though half-heartedly) before stifling a yawn.
"And you didn't love me when I was fat?" I recoiled slightly. Love. No matter how much it was meant in jest (if at all) I can remember how uncomfortable it made me feel after my little chat with Bob and Frank.
Despite that, however, I still smirked.
"It's just you had nice puppy dog look to you then," I said, pinching his cheek. "And you looked so squeegee. Now you're just a rake," I joked, raising my nose in the air.
"I'm still the same person on the inside," He almost argued, taking a hold of my chin and bringing my face down to look at him. "I'm still the funny, charming, caring, yet very annoying at times boyfriend I've always been,"
"You missed egotistical," I chipped in, eyes locked with his. He gave a lop-sided smile and let go of my chin. He eyed the costume lying on his bed again. "You know," I said, testing my cup of coffee for temperature. "I love a man in uniform," I smirked into my cup as I decided it was cool enough to drink.
"Oh, really?" He snaked his arms around my waist.
"Really," I set my coffee on the table before looking at him.
"Well you're not going to be able to keep your hands off me tomorrow," He smirked again, leaning down briefly for a kiss. I giggled, grabbing his neck and pulling him back down.
"Can't keep my hands off you now, so I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow," I said quickly, before pressing my lips back to his - apparently much to the annoyance of Mikey.
"Guys, please, not while I'm in the room,"
"Or me, for that matter," Said Bob, apparently uncomfortable with it as well. I smiled and sat up, slinging a leg over and sitting on Gerard's lap.
"That's just too far," Commented Ray as he passed.
"I don't know, I'm enjoying it," Said Frank as he sat next to us.
"Eww," I said, pushing him onto the floor before reclaiming my seat back.


Practically the first thing we were dragged off to do, after having a good giggle at them in costume, was one or two interviews - probably being stuck in a 'the making of' video.
After that, it was straight into filming. I had another good giggle at Mikey trying to find his way around in the glasses he'd been provided for the film and the last finishing touches (or, rather, touch-up) to Ray's hair. To say I was feeling sorry for him was, and still is, an understatement.
Unfortunately, not being part of the band, I spent my time watching from towards the back of the crowd. And, to be honest, that was all I did. There was nothing else for me to do.
Not that I was complaining, it gave me a small break.
And seeing as I managed to wriggle my way out of even showing my face for day two, I had a whole day to myself. One I spent in bed before someone jumped on me.


"Not tonight. No, Mikey's already on his way over. Well go out or something. No, I'm telling you, he doesn't want to be here," I smiled, stood with my arms around Gerard's waist, listening to his phone conversation. "You want to take a wild guess there?" A momentary silence from both ends of the phone told me someone had finally figured out why Gerard was staying at home.
There was a rattle of a voice from the phone.
"No, it's not sick, it's natural. Now if you'll excuse me," Pressing 'end' on the mobile, he finally cracked up.
"What'd he say?" I asked. We were sat in the living room of Gerard's parent's house, having not been let out of the house. Apparently his parents were taking what chance they could to see their sons...
"After he finally figured it out, he said it was sick and I needed to get out more," I giggled.
"It is very sick," I nodded, trying to look serious but probably failing miserably.
"Oh, yeah, very sick," He stopped his almost manic giggling to take a sip of coffee, using the cup to hide his smirk. "But I don't see you complaining,"


The next week passed 'uneventfully'. Mainly because I didn't leave the confines of one room, let alone one house, unless I needed to eat or I was being forced into 'family games'.
Fun.


Until, finally, we were back on tour.
And, as predicted, I was about ready to smack Frank into another solar system by the end of the first week. Wherever he could fit a comment in, he made one.
"I'm off to fetch a drink, I'll be right back," I stood from my seat; make up finished, where everyone was waiting for a few minutes before they went on.
"I'll come too, anyone want anything?" No one answered, just shook their heads. I stood in the doorway and turned.
"Anything, Frank?" I asked, hearing the giggling.
"I'm not saying anything - last time you reminded me you do my make up," I shook my head before turning and leaving. "Just make sure you two only fetch the drinks!" I turned, ready to storm back in and kill, but Gerard turned me back around and walked me away.
"Fine," I pouted.
"I'm not saying smacking him isn't a good thing," He started, as we got further away. "Just let me do it first," I laughed.


"And here we are with My Chemical Romance after..." I stopped in my tracks as I passed a grouping of seats. I had been retrieving my make-up from various places (having been unable to stop Bert from getting his hands on it) but the lure of watching the interview was almost too much. I stopped for only a moment, enough to see an uncomfortable Bob - meaning they were being recorded on camera - and Bert run past somewhere behind them.
Quickly, I darted behind the seats before heading off in the same direction as Bert.


I gave in looking for Bert and instead plodded back to the tour bus, rooting through the kitchen cupboards for something edible.
I'm telling you, there was nothing.
Unless they fancied mouldy bread.
So instead I resigned myself to a night of wandering around the shops with everyone so I got something they'd actually eat - 'Everyone' now being both bands.
I swear; it was putting me off having kids.


"LISTEN UP!" I called as I stood outside the shop we'd chosen as our victim. Instantly all nine men became deathly quite as they gathered around me as if on a school outing. "Okay, me, Bob, Mikey and Jeph are on trolley duties. Unfortunately those with the trolley get final say in what goes in the trolley and what doesn't," There were audible groans from Gerard and Bert. "I want everyone to pair up. There should be three pairs and one three. Go," I felt like a teacher giving them exact orders.
Instantly, being stood next to each other, Bert and Gerard grabbed one another before looking at me with puppy dog eyes.
I groaned.
"Fine, come on you two," Cheering, I found myself stood with Bert on my right and Gerard my left. "Right, everyone in pairs?"
"Yeah," Came the chorused agreement.
"Right, you have a maximum of two and a half hours to get what you want before going to the checkouts, so we'll meet back at the busses in three. Remember, however, we do have to fit everything you buy on one tour bus or another. Ready? Go!" There was a sudden had rush for both trolleys and the confectionary isle.
Somehow, I managed to keep both Bert and Gerard on a leash so they didn't go scampering off for sweets or, even worse, alcohol.
"Aww, why not?" pouted Gerard.
"Because you can spend all the time down that isle when we come to it, not before,"
"I hope we're getting something for waiting," Chipped in Bert, trudging along next to me.
"Yeah, you can have a little treat!"
"Really?" He perked up, smiling.
"Yeah, you can push the trolley for me!" He scowled suddenly before leaning forward slightly as he walked to peer at Gerard.
"Your girlfriend's mean,"
"You only just figured that out?" My eyes slid slowly to Gerard, who grinned at me.
"Ooh, look!" Said Bert, pointing frantically over towards the clothing. Gerard groaned while I looked between the two. As I had expected, Bert dropped behind before scampering off. I came to a stop while I watched the black figure dart up and down isles.
"Do I want to know?" I asked Gerard.
"Not really, but you'll find out," We both watched the black figure moving around, looking almost like a sniffer dog searching something in the... woman's section? "Do you have any underwear I haven't seen that's purple?" I thought. I wasn't a great fan of purple, I wore it occasionally but that was it.
"I think I have a purple thong somewhere, why?" He didn't respond for a moment as the black figure stopped moving and seemed to start searching through things.
"Keep it out of Bert's way,"
"Oh...are we waiting for him or-?" I stopped short as, humming the mission impossible theme to himself, Bert crawled back to us, rolling once or twice for effect. He popped up next to me before depositing something into the trolley, grinning.
When I looked in the trolley, there was now a set of lacy purple shorts and bra.
It took a lot to contain my giggles and I was bent double over the handle of the trolley.


Over the two hours it took us, I witnessed:
The great cereal showdown
101 uses of milk
Bert TV (they had a picture of TV with the middle cut out)
How not to electrocute yourself with a light bulb (With shocking demonstrations)
23 ways to kill Bert with a spork (Though, sadly, we only made it to 12)
Trolley racing (Not for the faint of heart when with Bert)
S.H.I.T (Shop Helper Initiation Test. Don't ask)
Bert playing Mission Impossible and rolling from isle to isle
Gerard sat with Bert at the opposite end of an isle to me playing spin the bottle (which ended when I 'accidentally' stood on the bottle ? fed up with passers by either staring disgusted, giggling, or smiling (the smilers, I should expect, knew who both Bert and Gerard were) as, being the only two players, they kept on kissing each other in the middle of the isle)
Trolley wars (Which began when we turned the corner of an isle to find Frank and Quinn turning the corner at the opposite end of the isle)
And many, many more amusing games and such like that landed us buying totally random things. I mean, after using items in games, it would have been both unreasonable and unhygienic. Thus, we did end up buying: Several boxes of cereal, three (empty) cartons of milk atop the other three we needed, A pack of light bulbs, two sporks (one used in the '23 ways to kill Bert with a spork', the other so they could have spork fights), several packets of washing up powder and hair dye after S.H.I.T was played, a (crushed) bottle of diet coke and, as I realised while going though checkout, more purple undergarments and packets of broccoli (The broccoli, possibly, after Gerard chased Bert with it for half an hour. He kept on pulling the pack form the trolley when Bert stopped dancing for him).
I needed new sides by the end, I'd laughed way too much.
And so, deciding carrying the bags back by hand wasn't a good idea, I was forced to give Bert and Gerard a ride back to the bus in the trolley.
Tiring, to say the least.


"You two pack, I'm having a break," I mumbled, collapsing on the sofa in the tour bus and making the mistake of closing my eyes.
For a while there was only the sound of cupboards, bags and giggling (and the re-enactment of Bert TV). I wasn't stirred from my comatosed state until there was am ear splitting screech.
Groaning I peeked open an eye.
There, a muddled mess in the middle of the bus, was Gerard apparently trying to fit Bert into the several pairs of purple underwear.
I opened my other eye to realise Bert was being held at spork point.
"You say," Gerard mumbled whilst trying to pull purple underwear up Bert's legs. "Another thing," Blindly reaching out, his hand found the bra. "About how good," Sliding the bra onto Bert's arm, he pushed the fork threateningly towards his neck as he started to struggle - despite being at spork point, being sat on and apparently wearing underwear that was giving him a wedgie. "My girlfriend would look in the damned purple underwear," I managed to stifle my giggles as, with some difficulty; Gerard rolled Bert over before struggling to fasten it. I stood up and made my way over, helping him with the clasp. "Thank you," He said, standing off Bert. "You'll be eating it, not wearing it!"